by Mischalova at . Comments

Come on, celebrity news reporters!

Don't you know that your job is causing Lindsay Lohan to drink, snort cocaine and get behind the wheel?!?

Out to Sea

You should be more responsible.

Dina Lohan basically said as much when she pointed to the paparazzi as playing a role in the latest DUI arrest for her screwed up daughter.

"We are doing everything in our power in support of Lindsay and I won't give up â€" this is my daughter and we love her," People magazine reported Dina as saying.

The actress was arrested early Tuesday morning on suspicion of drunken driving â€" her second drinking-related arrest in three months. She was booked for DUI, possession of cocaine, transporting a narcotic into a custody facility and driving on a suspended license, charges that make Paris Hilton look as innocent as Big Bird.

"I am sick over this," Dina said. "My children, my family, we are like prisoners in our own home because paparazzi [are stalking us] outside [our] home. Lindsay is in a safe place, and we are trying to strategically work out our next step."

The current step, it seems, is to blame anyone but yourself. Celebs such as Lindsay, Tara Reid, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt cannot pose for the cameras one second - at a popular club such as Hyde - and then accuse these same photographers of stalking them the next second.

Not to mention the fact that Dina Lohan complained about tabloids... to a tabloid!

Lohan's lawyer has said that the actress relapsed and is "presently receiving medical care." The actress completed a 45-day stint at Promises rehab facility less than two weeks ago.

It did about as much for her as it did for Britney Spears.

Meanwhile, Dina, it wasn't the paparazzi that took any Lindsay Lohan nude photos. Your daughter did that all by herself and may soon pay the consequences.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Lindsay Lohan has been "doing great" since she checked into rehab over Memorial Day weekend.

The source of this news? Her attention-starved, pathetic mother, of course.

Free and Still Troubled

"I talk to her every day," Dina Lohan told People magazine in New York on Monday. "She's going to do Promises' extended care program."

The program Lohan will undergo is designed to help people "make the transition from residential alcohol or drug rehab treatment back into their community." It includes a 12-step program and group therapy, the center's website says.

Dina, the mother that makes Lynne Spears look responsible, also said she and her family will head west for Lindsay's 21st birthday on July 2.

The crazy party that had been planned to celebrate this occasion has since been canceled. This was probably a smart decision, seeing as an alcohol-laden shindig for someone just out of rehab is as smart an idea as a lingerie-sponsored celebration for Brooke Hogan.

Dina Lohan, meanwhile, really sucks. She was also appearing in Nassau County family court as she awaited a hearing in her ongoing dispute over visitation of her children with ex-husband Michael, who was also in court.

"I just want to move on," said Dina, who has an order of protection against Michael. "It takes its toll on myself and the children. It affects all of us."

So does your awful mothering. In our recent poll, in fact, only Britney Spears was considered a worse celebrity mom than you are, Dina.

Maybe you should take some lessons from Elin Nordegren.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Britney Spears may be a worse mother than Dina Lohan, at least according to readers of The Hollywod Gossip.

But Brit doesn't come close to the terrible parent of Lindsay Lohan when it comes to outright lying.

Dina - the self-proclaimed "White Oprah" - has stated in the past that she's a former Radio City Music Hall Rockette. One problem: she's not.

After an inquiry from The New York Post, a spokeswoman for Radio City called back to say an exhaustive search found no record of Dina Lohan, or Donata Sullivan (her maiden name), ever being a Rockette.

Execs at Cablevision, which owns Radio City, were said to be indignant anyone would claim to be a Rockette who wasn't.

"It's like claiming to have a degree from Harvard when you don't. It's a big deal to be a Rockette," said the source.

So is raising a sex-crazed, alcoholic cocaine user for a daughter. But Dina has gotten away with that so far, too.

Meanwhile, this horrific mother has been caught in other lies, as well. She seems to fib more often than the L.A. Sheriff Department when it releases Paris Hilton from jail. To wit:

Biographies of Dina say she acted on the Broadway stage and in commercials, neither of which are true.

"Look in SAG [the Screen Actors Guild]. Look in AFTRA [American Federation of Televison & Radio Artists]. Dina isn't a member," said a family source. "She never did a Broadway show. She never did ads."

But she did do an atrocious job raising her oldest child, one that makes the fan-tossing actions of Akon seem responsible.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Our poll results may suggest otherwise, but in the opinion of our writers, if there's one person alive who can make Britney Spears look like a great mother, it's Dina Lohan.

Lindsay Walks, Dina Creeps

Yes, the insane, manipulative, money-grubbing mother of Lindsay Lohan in talks to star in her own reality TV show.

Dina has ridden the coattails of her eldest daughter, Lindsay, for years trying to become famous. Now she is in talks to do a reality show with E! tentatively titled "Mom-ager," in which she'll try to turn her youngest children, Ali Lohan, 14, and Cody Lohan, 11, into stars.

An insider fumed:

"Can you believe that? She totally messed up Lindsay by making her a 'star' and living vicariously through her - and now she's going to do the same to the other two? How the [bleep] can E! do this? Those kids should be in school having normal lives, the life that Lindsay Lohan didn't get to have."

Dina Lohan, who (seriously) refers to herself as "the white Oprah," has been trying for more than a year to get an on-air TV job.

Most recently, desperate for attention, she went on Entertainment Tonight to give the show "exclusives" with troubled Lindsay.

She actually pulled this crap twice - first when she was in the Wonderland rehab center and a second time at the Georgia Rule premiere.

What's next? A Shar Jackson reality show?

Dina failed to return calls and e-mails regarding the new series, and so did reps for E! and Lindsay Lohan, who's reportedly happy in rehab.

Lindsay is at the Promises rehab center - former home of none other than the great Britney Spears - in Malibu and "may stay for more than a month," says a friend.

That might not sit well with the man claiming to be her lawyer, Mike Heller, who is promoting her 21st birthday party in July at Pure.

A Lindsay Lohan friend says:

"Mike Heller claims he is her lawyer, but he is not. Blair Berk and Jason Sloane are. He arranged for this party at Pure and got paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for it, and now won't call it off. He says Lindsay doesn't want him to - of course, she doesn't. She's turning 21 - but if he really cared about her, he would cancel it. A girl just out of rehab should not be hanging out at Pure."

The friend added, "[Heller] is treating her birthday like a carnival - he's selling tickets to the public and insists on telling media outlets that the party is still on and speaking for her. Her lawyers are thinking of getting an injunction against him."

Heller, who is a lawyer, told the New York Post's Page Six that he's not Lindsay Lohan's lawyer, yet repeatedly referred to her as "my client."

He said: "I care about Lindsay Lohan, but it's her decision whether or not to have her party, and she wants one. I am not selling tickets, and I don't need her to line my pockets. I have my own money. I already got paid by the club, so I don't care if it's canceled or not."

What a class act. All we have to say is that Calum Best got out just in time.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Lindsay Lohan is busy exposing her boobs and bending over for Calum Best.

Her attention-hungry, self-absorbed mother, meanwhile, is talking to the press. Here's some of the most recent nonsense Dina Lohan is spewing:

She's Baaaaaaaaaaack!

How is Lindsay holding up with the tape circulating?
"We're not reading anything about [her obvious cocaine habit]. You can't let it bother you. We work so hard, then some girl just tried to make money off her [for that tape]. Lindsay doesn't even know who her friends are."

Do you think Lindsay is at the clubs too much?
"This [premieres and parties] is the fun part of the business. She'll be 21 in a few months. Regardless, of course, as a parents, you set boundaries and scold them. But there are these dark stories â€" she is so misunderstood. All she wants to do is act and have a somewhat normal life. When you're 20, it's normal to want to go to The Ivy, to go to the hot stores. She can't live in a bubble."

* The Hollywood Gossip note: But she can live inside a bed with Best, James Blunt, Harry Morton, James Franco, Jude Law, Brody Jenner...

Do you ever worry that she's pushing herself too hard?
"When she doesn't work, she's so bored. I've told her, ‘Please slow down. Stop!' She's growing up and learning to do that. ... I'm her mother first: Everything could go away, and I couldn't care less."

Right, Dina. You don't care about fame. That's like saying J.K. Rowling fans don't care about Harry Potter spoilers.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Thanks to US Weekly for the following celebrity quote round-up from the past week ...

"He was a really fun partner-in-crime, but I didn't take him seriously, and he didn't take me seriously...We just made fun of each other."
- Jennifer Garner, on first meeting husband Ben Affleck

Say Hi Mommy!

"I'm sick of myself to tell you the truth."
- Julia Louis-Dreyfuss on Seinfeld reruns

"His smile has turned into sort of a grimace because I don't think even he thinks he's supposed to be there anymore."
- Neil Patrick Harris on American Idol's Sanjaya Malakar

"I feel like I just married myself basically. At one point I thought, 'It's time. It's time to have some really beautiful dishes.'"
- Kate Walsh, joking about her full china cabinet

"I don't talk to anyone about my problems with my husband. The ritual Will and I have is to talk about everything. You can't expect people to understand your relationship."
- Jada Pinkett Smith, on husband Will Smith

"Of course I don't want to be on a failing show after being on a successful show for 10 years, so I was nervous."
- Courteney Cox, on post-Friends pressure

"When we began working on it, I was like, 'Wouldn't it be great to have a song that I could sing to a baby one day?"
- Jennifer Lopez, on her song "Tu" (You), which started out as a lullaby

"I have to go to therapy all the time. I need therapy. Or drugs. You quit for a while and then you know, it's like, 'I'm getting crazy again. Maybe I should go back."
- Chris Rock

"As much as I've explored this guy, I don't know what else to really do with him. I've been in one place for 10 years. That's enough. It's time for me to do other things."
- James Gandolfini, on playing Tony Soprano

"Noooo! [Lindsay is not an alcoholic.] She is just a 20-year-old who had to reel it in. And she's from an addictive personality genetically. And in that world, they give you things like candy. Hurt your ankle? 'Let's give her something.'"
- Dina Lohan, on daughter Lindsay Lohan

"He's suffering from stomach flu. It's a common side effect from Botox injections."
- Adam Sandler on filling in for David Letterman on The Late Show

"I feel like after the second child you lose your mind, which is how we got the third child."
- Kelly Ripa

by Mischalova at . Comments

Dina Lohan was forced to get wasted at Hyde. And Bungalow 8. And any other time she was caught acting like an irresponsible mother.

"Oh, the party mom, the party mom, the party mom!" Lohan says in the April issue of Harper's Bazaar. "Whoever said that, my ex-husband or whatever, I'm not the party mom! You throw enough pasta on the walls, some pasta's going to stick, okay?"

Lindsay and Dina Picture

Pasta on walls? Sounds to us like the party mom is wasted again. But that must be the fault of Lindsay Lohan.

Don't blame Ms. Firecrotch for the media fixation on Dina's club-hopping image, though. That's solely due for how incredibly good looking this 44-year old is. Naturally.

"If I looked like a tire, they wouldn't even give a damn," Dina says, dissing tires across the world. "And I'm not that hot, trust me."

We know. We'd rather stare at pictures of Star Jones.

Lohan also lashes out at the suggestion that Lindsay, who checked into rehab in January, is an alcoholic. "She is just a 20-year-old who had to reel it in," she says. "And she's from an addictive personality genetically."

Hey, Jesse Metcalfe, maybe you can use the same excuse.

As for sometimes sipping Montrachet in front of her daughter? "It's not a weird, freaky thing. No, we're normal. It's normalcy," Dina insists.

Meanwhile, while the elder Loan also reveals that she led a couple of interventions for Lindsay in the past and tried to convince her daughter to go to rehab, she says - in a nationally circulated publication - that such knowledge isn't for the public to know.

"Like if your child's in high school and they have a bulimia problem or they're ADD, you're not going to stand on the stage and go, Oh, my kid's screwed up. I'm sorry, that's disgusting."

Wait, did she just call Nicole Richie digusting?

On Wednesday morning, the New York Post and the cohosts of The View expressed skepticism about Lohan's comments, which a rep for the manager mom rep says has Lohan upset.

"The woman is honest," the rep said to People magazine. "Just because the New York Post and Rosie O'Donnell take everything out of context? There's nothing bad there. Dina's doing the best she can with what she has. [She] has three other kids. No one ever talks about that."

That's not true. The Hollywood Gossip is obsessed with making sure that Ali Lohan doesn't fall into the same trouble that has plagued her screwed up mother and sister. That's why we think Angelina Jolie should adopt her.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Tara Conner isn't the only alcoholic on the path to recovery.

This, of course, is coming from the warped mouth of Dina Lohan. So take it for what it is.

Waif Photo

Nevertheless, less than a month after entering rehab, Lindsay Lohan is "doing great," her mother told People magazine.

"She's amazing. She's great and she's happy," Dina said Friday at the Child magazine fall 2007 fashion show in New York City. "She's in a really good space right now."

And there's a good chance Brody Jenner is lying there naked next to her.

In December, Lindsay had revealed that she had been attending Alcoholic Anonymous, and later that month told People, "I feel better not drinking. It's more fun."

Eventually, however, it's safe to assume Lohan will need to find a new way to land in the spotlight. Could she follow the path of Kim Kardashian and release a sex tape?

Is there really any doubt?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Look, just because Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson chose to have their marriage portrayed on national television doesn't mean the media should've covered it.

So goes the general logic of Dina Lohan.

Lindsay, Dina Pic

In a rare moment of sobriety, the misguided mother blamed journalists for sending her daughter, Lindsay Lohan, into rehab.

After all, they wrote mean things about the 20-year old. They dared to snap pictures of her leaving Hyde. They printed her quotes. No other celebrity has to endure such defamation of character, right, Dina?

There's just one thing we know for sure: No way it's your fault at all for setting this kind of example.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyIatKNfT1Q&eurl=[/youtube]

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

A day after Lindsay Lohan revealed that she'd checked into rehab, her mother said the actress is "absolutely fine."

"This is a wonderful, giant step she's taking and it's all good," Dina Lohan told People magazine. "Hollywood's a really, really busy scary place and everything is under control."

Lindsay: Back to Blonde

Well, except for Lindsay's drinking. Hence, her trip to rehab. Dina might need to speak with Tara Conner to learn how this works.

Mrs. Lohan says she's proud that her 20-year-old daughter is mature enough to take care of herself and "not worry about what anyone's going to say about her."

On Wednesday, Lindsay said in a statement she had made the decision to enter rehab in order "to take care of my personal health." She also figured that if Keith Urban had been there, lots of hot guys, vulnerable were ripe for the picking.

"Everything's great and she's just getting a grip on her life," says Dina. "When I was 20 I don't know that I would be that strong to do that, so it's all good."

She added, in a bout of hyperbole, that "as a parent I couldn't be more pleased and proud."

Really, Dina? It actually is impressive that Lindsay is taking this step, but perhaps more pride could be taken if it weren't necessary to begin with. Let's just hope that's the case for your youngest, Ali Lohan.