Denise Richards

Charlie Sheen has a lot to deal with these days: legal issues stemming from a confrontation with Brooke Mueller on Christmas Day; a possible divorce; the outing of his affair with Angelina Tracy.

The last thing the actor has any time for is the raising of a family.

Apparently Sheen actually agrees with that statement, as TMZ reports he willfully surrendered legal custody of the two children he had with Denise Richards, Sam and Lola.

Richards is now free to pimp them out for photo ops every day of every week.

Sheen has been paying $50,000 a month in child support to Richards since the couple's divorce, a figure that will not change with this new custody arrangement. Previously, Sam and Lola had split time between their parents.

Meanwhile, according to Brooke Mueller's prenup with the trouble sitcom star, she'll get $55,000 a month in child support - NOT including medical and schooling expenses - if she divorces Sheen.

For his bank account's sake, it's a good thing Sheen will likely sign a new contract with CBS that pays him $1.3 million per episode of Two and a Half Men.

That's 1.3 million more laughs than the show delivers on a weekly basis.

On December 25, 2009, Charlie Sheen allegedly held a knife to wife Brooke Mueller's throat and said: I'll kill you.

A one-time occurrence from a (possibly) cocaine-fueled, troubled actor? Not exactly, new court documents reveal.

According to TMZ, Sheen's ex-wife Denise Richards might testify in the comedian's criminal case next month. The disturbing reason?

The district attorney is interested in a declaration Richards signed (under penalty of perjury) on December 30, 2005. On that day, she got a restraining order against the Two and a Half Men star and swore the following in court:

In the middle of an argument, Denise was holding her and Charlie's daughter Lola. From there, Sheen "pushed me, shoving me with his two hands between my shoulders. I was forced backwards and tripped over one of the children's toys and fell on the floor with Lola."

Under oath, Richards said her husband screamed: "I hope you f-cking die, bitch... You are f-cking with the wrong guy."

Sheen denied this allegation at the time, but a prior incident of wife-threatening won't bode well for the actor. If subpoenaed, Richards will testify about this exchange in a Colorado trial, where Sheen faces a felony charge of menacing.

It sounds as though the nickname given to Sheen's iconic Major League character ("Wild Thing") applies to the actor, as well.

Denise Richards took time away from alerting the paparazzi to her and her children's whereabouts to sit down with Oprah Winfrey this week.

The F-list actress was asked about ex-husband Charlie Sheen and his recent run-in with the law. Does Richards feel sorry for Brooke Mueller? Does she worry about Charlie's kids? Maybe.

But one of her first replies was to bring everything back to herself: "Perhaps people can understand what I went through," she said.

Richards said Sheen never got physical with her during their tumultuous marriage, but there were "a lot of verbal arguments that got heated that scared me" and led to a restraining order.

"I was in a very dark place," she told Winfrey of the end of her relationship with Sheen. "Especially when I filed the restraining order, I was humiliated. I was scared. I was embarrassed."

To Richards' credit, she worked with a mediator to arrive at "a great place" with her ex. She says she trusts him with their daughters.

As for Oprah, if she keeps having guests of this nature on her show, she may lose her status as America's favorite TV personality.

The most astounding aspect of the recent Charlie Sheen allegations? It isn't that the actor may have held a knife to Brooke Mueller's throat and threatened to have her professionally killed.

Instead, it's the fact that Denise Richards now seems like the sane one in her former marriage to Sheen.

Richards and Sheen have two daughters together (Sam and Lola; you may have recognize them from the countless paparazzi photos Richards posed the kids for, and/or from her nauseating E! reality series) and got messily divorced in 2007.

Therefore, if there's one woman that can relate to the troubles Mueller has gone through with Sheen, it's this self-serving, talentless actress.

Seemingly in response to the scandal surrounding her ex, Richards Tweeted today:

It's hard not to wonder what else the Q-list celebrity could spill. She's already said Sheen exposes his private parts to minors over the Internet and beats on dogs.

But it looks like Denise Richards has found a way to sneak back into the celebrity gossip spotlight. Damn you, Charlie Sheen, for creating this opportunity!

Her words, not ours!

In a classy online ad campaign for her E! reality show It's Complicated, Denise Richards boasts of all the wild and crazy stuff she's up to this season.

She of the three boob jobs is pretty psyched to be running it back for a new season, as the ads below make abundantly clear. Complicated, indeed.

Amazingly, her young daughters Sam and Lola do not appear. One wonders if Denise even remembers they exist, with all the jet-setting she's doing.

Just the type of example a mom should be setting. The ad campaign starts out harmlessly enough, but ends in classy fashion. First screen shot ...

The wild thing is back. Okay, that's perfectly normal.

She may fly to Paris on a whim. Hey, stars do that.

Or Rock Vegas on new years. Again, she's a celeb. Fine.

Flaunting your funbags, Denise? Sure you don't want to throw in a c*%t reference for good measure? Real classy. Way to be a positive role model for Sam and Lola.

Sarah Palin is gonna fire off an angry statement any second.

Wow. And we thought Tara Reid had an ugly history of boob jobs...

Appearing this week on Howard Stern's Sirius Radio show, Denise Richards admitted that said she got breast enhancement surgery "a long time ago" after moving to Los Angeles to be an actress.

"I was 19, and my roommate had the best boobs ever, and she had just had hers done," the exploitive mother said. "I was flat as a board, and I thought 'Whoa, you can just buy them' and stupidly had them done!"

It didn't go very well. Following her first operation, Richards said her boobs looked "way too big for my body."

So she got more work done on them.

"The next guy put bigger ones in, and it was not good - they were a D!" she said, adding that a third procedure finally fixed the problem.

Would Richards advise any young actresses to get their chests worked on? No.

"I was young and should have researched better. You know, it was a big mistake. Young girls, don't do it!"

Denise Richards has ruined an American classic.

And, for once, we aren't referring to Charlie Sheen!

Richards has proven that there's one thing she does worse than act: sing.

As part of the Chicago Cubs' tradition that asks a famous person (any famous person, apparently) to sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the Seventh Inning Stretch at Wrigley Field, the former Dancing with the Stars contestant belted out a horrific version of the baseball anthem.

Note how she continually looks down at the words, as she "sings."

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Seriously, Denise. Just stick to exploiting your kids for fame and money.

Denise Richards is either...

... the world's most understanding celebrity;

OR:

... Hollywood's most attention-starved, exploitive mother.

While most famous parents bristle at celebrity gossip photographers that dare to encroach on time with their children - even a notoriously quiet, beloved star such as Julia Roberts has been known to get into it with paparazzi that follow around her family - Richards appears to embrace the attention.

Imagine that.

Earlier this week, the terrible actress and booted Dancing with the Stars contestant was spotted at the playground with daughter Lola. She spent more time smiling for the camera than keeping an eye on her child:

Pssst, Denise Richards: your daughter just took a swan dive off the slide. You might wanna look away from the camera for a second.

No way Richards invited photographers along for this play date, right? No chance she told them where she was going in exchange for a few bucks and a few minutes in the spotlight, right?

Click on the following images for larger shots of the actress exploiting her adorable daughter...

[Photos: Splash News]

On her reality show, Denise Richards attempts to claim that her life is complicated.

But the outcome for this terrible actress and exploitive mother was very simple on Dancing with the Stars: she and partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy were eliminated last night.

The pair got the boot after performing a samba dance-off against fellow contestants Holly Madison and Dmitry Chaplin.

“I had fun! When else am I going to get to dress up like this, work with someone like Maks and be able to do a family show that my daughters can watch together,” Richards said after the results were announced.

Naturally, she couldn't do an interview without mentioning daughters Lola and Sam.

“They love watching us. We TiVo the show and we watch it together, but every time I have to go to rehearsal they go ‘too much dancing.’ It’s hard to find balance. I think they will be relieved it’s over."

For sure. It leaves more time for the family to "accidentally" be photographed all around town.

Same dress, different color... two very different women.

Both Ashley Tisdale and Denise Richards were recently spotted out in the same Yoana Baraschi-designed outfit.

The former actress is best known for her role in the High School Musical franchise, while the latter has made headlines for a volatile divorce from Charlie Sheen, along with a reality show that exploited her children, deceased mother and anything else that would garner attention.

Which of these stars looks best in the following ruffled dress?