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This week's Jersey Shore marked the departure of Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola. A permanent exist, we think - and hope - after the fight to end all fights.

As much as we aren't sorry to see her go, we'll give her this much - she went out in style after a blowout with Ronnie Magro that exceeded even their standards.

This comprised most of the memorable Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode, as we've broken down, as always, in our trademark +/- recap below:

Sammi in Bed!

BOILING POINT: Ron wants Sam's stuff out of here ... with her on top of it.

Ronnie confronts The Situation for violating guy code. Funny how, like Sammi pointing the finger at JWoww and Snooki, they always blame others. Minus 2.

Able to see the big picture (take note, Ron), Sitch "takes the high road" and apologize to ensure it doesn't end in a brawl. Plus 6 for his surprising maturity.

He hits the boardwalk to cool off, unaware that Sammi is also heading there with Deena, who "loves single Sammi!" Who loves anything Sammi!? Minus 4.

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Snooki met a new juicehead, Pauly D made amends with his stalker, Ronnie bled out of a major orifice and broke up with Sam, again, on last night's Jersey Shore.

Perhaps most notable, though, was Snooki's marine biology expertise. Thanks to Nicole Polizzi, we now know why the ocean is salty. Nasty whale sperm, obvi.

This and many other memorable Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night are broken down by THG, as always, in our trademark +/- recap below:

Special Exam

SPECIAL EXAM: This is what it's like for viewers watching Sammi onscreen.

Things are good in the Jersey Shore house. It's just the calm before the storm, but there's actually no drama or active feud as the episode commences! Plus 8.

But, as Ronnie put it after a night of drinking ended with him puking like a madman as usual, it's always "one step forward and two step backs." Minus 5.

We've seen people on Jersey Shore getting probed a lot, but never like this. Plus 4.

Despite assurances that "I've dranken a lot more than I drank tonight," Ron's arse swells to the point that we're treated to the haunting visual above. Minus 11.

Snooki fell asleep with the dogs. A more apt scenario may never transpire. Plus 7.

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The gang invented a new means of extracting grenades, Deena revealed her inner freak, Sammi and Ronnie came to blows (again), Snooki bought a stripper pole and so much more in an epic night of Jersey Shore debauchery.

Just when you think they can't outdo themselves once again ...

THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show, as always, in its trademark +/- recap below:

Grenade Whistle!

SOUND THE ALARM: Vinny rescues The Situation.

It's more like a Grenade Horn, but the Grenade Whistle is a fitting prop for a group of guys so dedicated to extracting the less-attractive females. Plus 8.

Of course, they could simply not bring said females back home, so ... Minus 7.

Vinny sounds the grenade whistle to rescue Sitch. What are friends for? Plus 4.

The Situation goes upstairs to borrow a condom from Ronnie and lets it slip to Sammi that Ronnie is talking to JWoww. What an instigator. Minus 6.

Snooki and Jenni bring home a couple of bitches. Pomeranians, looks like. Plus 5.

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Last night on Jersey Shore, Snooki got sprung from the can but soon reverted to her old ways, while Ronnie's doppelganger was discovered at the club and JWoww's relationship problems with Tom Lippolis reached a tipping point.

A relatively tame episode after Snooki's epic bender, but a good one.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show in its trademark +/- recap below:

Lecture From Dad

WHAT A QUACK: Snooki's dad relays his disappointment.

He's disappointed, but Snooki's dad takes the whole thing pretty well. Guess when your daughter once sold alcohol at a party at your house, and a trashed guest crashed his car and died on the way home, you've seen worse. Minus 12.

When her father goes off on her with the tried and true "I'm not mad, just disappointed" bit, she says "It's not like I killed someone." This time. Plus 8.

His lecture was a real deterrent for at least 12 hours. Minus 4.

Wait, was JWoww wearing a "Free Snooki" tank top? Plus 7.

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A special Monday episode of Jersey Shore certainly did not disappoint if you watch the show looking for hilarious one-liners, drama and drunken debauchery.

Why else would you watch Jersey Shore, come to think of it?

This week was a rare treat for fans, as we got to see Snooki's drunken arrest from this summer play out on TV. It was as epic as reports made it out to be.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show in its patented +/- recap below:

Absolute Worst Couple Ever

Oh. No. You. Didn't.

Sam's disdain for Snooki is surpassed by disdain for Ronnie. Man they suck. Minus 8. Watching these two argue may be worse than getting waterboarded.

Foreshadowing bigger, better things to come, Snooki chows down on a raw potato for no reason other than the amusement of housemates and fans. Plus 4.

Deena wants Situation. Snooki thinks she knows how she can make that happen ... by getting him into a threesome, then peacing out last minute. Minus 3.

Plus 16 for this gem from Mike, though: "Every guy dreams of having a threesome with two women, obviously. Maybe not with Deena and Snooki, but, um, I was going along with it only because it was a threesome."

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Sammi Giancola has become that which she abhors.

Granted, as a miserable human being and very painful individual, Sammi Giancola abhors a great many things. But Angelina Pivarnick might top the list.

Having turned herself into the house pariah and destined to hitch a ride out of town before long, Sammi has morphed into Ange 2.0. It's sad and wonderful.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Fists of Fury

Last week's epic smackdown resumes in the opening moments.

Plus 16 for the resumption of the fight that ended last week's season premiere. Girl pulled out some of JWoww's hair. Not a wise move if you want to live.

The boys go to the gym. Having no friends, Sam tries to go with. Minus 5.

Ronnie and Sammi seem to hate Jersey Shore more than the faction of fans on THG's Facebook who want to GET THIS TRASH OFF THE AIR!!!!!!!!!! Plus 7.

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How long did it take newcomer Deena Nicole Cortese to immerse herself in her new lifestyle? About halfway through the Jersey Shore season premiere.

Before throwing down with Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola - who she later called the "C-word" - the 4-foot-10 firecracker performed an impromptu striptease.

Even The Situation was thrown off when she "mistakenly" pulled off her bikini bottom. That's saying something. Here's Deena Nicole Cortese in action:

Deena defends getting in Sam's grill, as she “felt the need to stand up for [herself]. As for the NC-17 show above? Nope, no explaining that one away.

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"I'm just so excited to get back into my house, pop some bottles and hook up with my roommates." - Snooki

With those words, a new season of MTV's guiltiest, most unsanitary pleasure is upon us. We are back in Seaside Heights, N.J., and it feels like we never left.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Ooooooooga

We know, Sitch. We totally know.

Plus 50 for Deena Nicole Cortese's first 15 minutes at the house, shown above.

Why bother pretending these are normal people, though? Minus 9 for Snook briefing Deena on the roommates, like she hasn't seen every freaking episode.

Sammi on Deena: "I thought she was gonna be hot. I'm all taken aback." Girl, she's friends with Snooki. No offense, but come on. Minus 3 for cluelessness.

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As Pauly D told THG, Deena Nicole Cortese will be shaking things up on Jersey Shore. The Garden State native makes her debut on tonight's Season 3 premiere.

In a new interview with TV Guide, the new girl in "the family" dishes on BFF Snooki, all of the drama, why her parents were all for her joining the show and more:

Sammi Giancola, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro

Excerpts from Deena's Q&A below ...

CLASS IN A GLASS: That's Deena Nicole Cortese for you.

On joining the cast: "I love the show and wanted to do it because I go down to the shore all the time, and I'm like 35 minutes from Seaside. When Snooks asked me to come down, I was like, 'Yeah, let's do this. I'm down.'"

On being the new girl: "I was a little nervous, but I wanted to get to know everyone and I was excited. I was going to try to get to know everyone and be myself. I came in, they really opened their lives to me and it was awesome."

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The Jersey Shore cast's newest member, Deena Nicole Cortese, hit the red carpet at the MTV Video Music Awards this weekend with the rest of the crew.

"Oh my God, it's surreal!" Cortese said. "I have fan pages already, and people Twittering me, and I'm just like 'I just got out of the house two days ago!'"

J-Woww and Snooki Picture

Her episodes haven't even aired, as we're still on Season 2 in South Beach (see THG's recap of last week's Jersey Shore). Season 3 airs later this year.

ALL NATURAL: Deena Nicole Cortese's skin tone matches that of her BFF Snooki. Yup, she's gonna fit in perfectly down at the Shore. [Photo: Splash News Online]

"When I went in the house I was expecting something completely different," she says. "Everybody shocked me, in a good way, and I feel like I fit right in."

"They welcomed me with open arms, and I'll appreciate those kids until the day I die," adds Deena. "Season 3 is going to blow everyone out of the water."

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Deena Nicole Cortese Biography

Deena Nicole Pic Deena Nicole Cortese is the newest cast member of Jersey Shore. She is coming on board in Season Three. She is a friend of Snooki's and... More »
Full Name
Deena Nicole Cortese
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