by Free Britney at . Comments

Single Ronnie made a return to Jersey Shore last night, while Pauly and Deena channeled Season 3 Snooki and Vinny with their potential, awkward "romance."

As for Season 4 Snooki, she was having issues with Jionni, and guess who was there to help her through them? This Situation? Not a good situation.

The second episode of the season offered plenty of amusing Jersey Shore quotes, as always, but the major drama of the summer is still to come.

Let's break down the second episode of the summer, THG +/- style!

Pauly and Deena

Minus 5 for the immediate continuation of the "romantic" scene with Pauly and Deena that was in our heads for days after the Season 4 premiere.

Ronnie is on the phone with a girl. Not named Sam. Or his mom! Her name's Hannah, and she's been "helping him get through some stuff." Stuff, he says ... It has a name, you know. A nickname, even: S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T. Plus 7.

Deena takes a spill as they return home. So predictable. Minus 4.

Pauly totes pretends to be passed out so he doesn't have to hit it or be forced to express overtly that he doesn't wish to hit it. Classic move. Plus 8.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Taking the MTV phenomenon they've created abroad, the cast members of Jersey Shore certainly didn't waste time getting down to business in Italy.

As the description on our Comcast digital guide put it, "violence," "intensely sexual situations" and "intensely suggestive dialogue" were prevalent.

While the season premiere didn't quite live up to the hype, it did set up a couple of key story arcs and offer plenty of amusing Jersey Shore quotes.

Let's break down the fourth season opener, THG +/- style!

Boning Up

Snooki shows off a pair of I Heart Vinny underwear as she packs. Plus 4.

"No granatos." - Vinny, boning up on his Italian and simultaneously conveying what he will not be boning in Italia. Allegedly. Amazing. Plus 9.

"I'll bring guys home, but I won't do sex." - Deena. Lie. Minus 6.

Uncle Nino said something ... well, it was authentic. Plus 8, because we really hope to see more of this guy. Same goes for Single Ronnie.

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Wherever the Jersey Shore crew goes, trouble is sure to follow.

Case in point? Deena Cortese deciding to climb over a bridge in Florence and almost falling into the River Arno WAY down below. Fortunately (or not, depending on your point of view), Sammi Giancola grabbed on to her for dear life.

Deena survived her journey on the stone structure in one piece:

  • Jump, Deena! Jump!
  • Deena and Sam in Italy

Despite being booed by locals and banned from drinking in the street by the Mayor of Florence, it seems the gang are still intent on behaving badly.

Earlier in the day Deena, nicknamed "The Blaster" for reasons unknown, was seen admiring Michelangelo's statue of David. But not how you think.

She wasn't gazing at the jaw-dropping marble statue, but a nude, crude novelty apron which captivated her attention. Class in a glass, baby!

The whole cast of the MTV show arrived in Florence earlier this month to film season four. Sadly, they'll probably return to the U.S. after that.

[Photos: WENN.com]

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jersey Shore's third season ended not with a bang, but with a thud. After 13 weeks, we're as exhausted by Sammi and Ronni as the reality stars themselves.

There were many fun, hilarious times in Season 3, but the enduring image will be that of a couple so desperately in love ... and so loathsome of one another.

As always, THG breaks down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes in our official +/- recap below. For the last time until Italy, let's DO THIS:

Ronnie and Sammi Fight Again

Breaking up is hard to do. For you. It's REALLY hard for these idiots.

We pick up where we left off last week. OMG, Ron and Sam are SO in a fight! Did she make out with Arvin? Did she text Arvin to meet up? Do we care? Minus 9.

Arvin: "Sam, we made out before." Sam: "No, we haven't." Arvin: "Yeah, we have." Sam: "No, we haven’t." Plus 4, because is there that much of a gray area?

Is it just us or is Vinny becoming kind of an ass these days? Minus 5.

Whoa, the Snitch-uation apologizes to Sam for meddling. Plus 3.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Abraham Lincoln famously said that "A house divided against itself cannot stand." Yet a Jersey Shore house divided against itself only stands to be more entertaining.

In this week's installment, friction between Ronnie and Sammi forces peeps to choose sides, while a stalker returns, Deena wears all denim and so much more.

As always, THG breaks down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our official, patented +/- recap below. Let's get it ON!

Vinny and Snooki Photo

Comment rendered unnecessary.

Vinny and Snooki grow closer on a lunch date. Cute, but Minus 10 for the profound words emblazoned on her pants, advice guidos often take literally, deeply.

Later, Vinny decides to get his ears pierced at the Shore Store. First it was the spray tan, now this. At least he's going all out in pursuit of Tool-dom. Plus 7.

Pauly D's hookup is thwarted when Erin’s brother shows up. This seems to happen a lot on Jersey Shore. Minus 5, 'cause celebrities are easy to track down.

Deena: "Let’s be real. You didn’t come here for pastries and like, coffee, you came here to do sex with Pauly and Vinny. You embarrassed yourself." Plus 9.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

This week on Jersey Shore, Vinny and Pauly road tripped it to Staten Island, JWoww grew suspicious of Roger, and in the world of Ronnie and Sammi ... sigh.

Where do we even begin. Like Pauly D, we may kill ourselves if this goes on much longer. So what happened after Sammi's shady texts to Guido MacGyver?

As always, THG breaks down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our official, trademarked +/- recap below. Let's get it ON!

Mauling Sammi

OH YEAH, BABY: Ron and Sam are so in love for these 12 seconds.

Let's just get this out of the way early. Ronnie and Sammi stop fighting their feelings for each other. Things are "so different" now. It's been like a week. Minus 9.

All is well, until Arvin, who The Situation terms "a jacked-up Guido MacGyver," tells him Sammi was texting him to meet at the club. THG smells drama. Plus 5.

Ron: "We're finished. I'm done. Have fun with the girls ... I had every chance to bring the f*%king hottest girl in the club home but I didn't because I was crying like a f*%king bitch, over f*%king you!" Sam: "Me too!" Minus 8.

The Snitch-uation definitely started $h!t, but it was warranted. Plus 4.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The Situation got served in the Jersey Shore house's latest prank war, while revealing himself to be an even dirtier human being than previously believed.

Dude's more revolting even than the origin of the toilet clog, which was finally kind of revealed. Elsewhere, Snooki sort of admitted her lovey feelings for Vinny.

Sammi also came back to Seaside Heights. D-d-d-d-done!

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

I Wanna Cuddle

SO SWEET: Too bad Vinny wasn't game for Snook's arrangement.

Snooki tells Vinny not to bring any girls home from the club so they can cuddle. Minus 5, girl, because you bring plenty of stuff home from the club too.

The first time you see an ex is always awkward. "Hey Sam," Ron said, "You look good." Sammi's reply? "You look pale." That HURTS on this show. Plus 9.

Deena says Sammi’s “hystatic,” which means “super-happy and … really happy.” Minus only 2, because at least she knows it's a made-up word. We think.

Ronnie awkwardly hovers around Sammi at the club. "I don't want to smother you," he said. Sammi then asks, "Are you leaving?" BURN again. Plus 6.

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Pranks were again off the proverbial hook this week on Jersey Shore, with The Situation getting the better of Deena and Snooki, but later getting served himself.

Also, Sammi's back. Freaking wonderful.

To be honest, though, it's probably best from a dramatic standpoint that the Horror of Hazlet returns. Two weeks of practical jokes is probably sufficient.

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

Prank Master

DUCK PHONE REVENGE: Plant marshmallows around this house, will they ...

Ronnie's father visits Seaside to lend him some much-needed support. He must not watch the show, otherwise he'd arrive to officially disown his son. Minus 5.

That bike they won on the boardwalk is hella sweet. Plus 3.

Nick, whoever that is (we lose track of Snooki's conquests) doesn't call Snooki back, so she calls him. About 19 times in a row. Dudes really dig this. Minus 9.

Turns out Nick heard Snooki hooked up with both Gianni and Jeff, who are cousins. When you sleep with anything that moves, these things do happen. Plus 4.

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Pauly and Vinny. Snooki and Deena.

Oh, it was on like Donkey Kong on Jersey Shore last week. As we noted in our official episode recap, this was a prank war of epic proportions.

Some of the practical jokes were funny, others lame, and some downright filthy in the truest sense of the word. Fecal waste was involved.

Who emerged victorious? Guys? Girls? Did we lose just by watching? Check out Team Bromance battling Team Snarf/Sloppopatumus here and see:

by Free Britney at . Comments

In the aftermath of Sammi's exit from Jersey Shore last week, Ronnie was down in the dumps. The rest of the gang seemed focused more on absurd pranks.

Despite the title, "The Great Depression" was lighter fare than more recent episodes, with fewer epic meltdowns and more bathroom humor - quite literally.

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

Old Underwear

THAT'S JUST WRONG: Pauly's discovery was dirty even by JS standards.

Right off the bat for using the show to pitch Britney Spears' new music video. Videos, on MTV? What a concept! Plus 5 in hopes that this pattern continues.

Despite being enraged every second she's around, Ronnie mopes now that Sammi's gone, whining non-stop in an all-out effort to grow a vagina. Minus 19.

Seriously, Jenni could take Ronnie. You can see the disgust on her face. Plus 4.

Sammi breaks down at home. Minus 10 for not making this a Sammi-free week, 'cause she'll be back wearing her one white skirt/black top outfit in no time.

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Deena Nicole Cortese Biography

Deena Nicole Pic Deena Nicole Cortese is the newest cast member of Jersey Shore. She is coming on board in Season Three. She is a friend of Snooki's and... More »
Full Name
Deena Nicole Cortese
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