by Free Britney at . Comments

Jersey Shore's Deena Nicole Cortese won't face criminal charges for disorderly conduct following her arrest for acting like a drunk jackass in the middle of the day last month, however the hot mess will be forced to pay a fine.

For failing to use the sidewalk.

Deena Nicole Cortese Mug Shot

Deena was briefly jailed in Seaside Heights, N.J., for dancing in the streets and "slapping cars" ... seriously. Her parents sprung her later that day.

A disorderly conduct charge was dropped today in court, but Deena must pay a fine after pleading guilty to what is known as a "Title 39" instead.

That would be failure to use the sidewalk and instead walking in the middle of the street, which is technically a crime but hardly ever enforced.

She apologized for "causing any trouble," paid $139 and was let go, free to help Snooki push beer in a stroller until her guidette heart's content.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Deena Cortese makes our celebrity mug shot hall of fame with this one.

The pint-size Jersey Shore star, as you may have heard, got popped last week for being drunk and disorderly in the middle of the day, and it shows!

Check out her booking photo, taken by the Seaside Heights P.D. after they saw Deena creating a ruckus and dragged her drunk a$$ back to the station ...

Deena Nicole Cortese Mug Shot

Deena was arrested on Sunday when she was dancing drunkenly in the street outside a Mexican restaurant ... and drawing huge crowds of onlookers.

She was then trying to swipe at passing cars for some reason, at which point officers were obliged to step in and end the charade before it got ugly.

"It was nothing major, but we can't put up with it," Police Chief Tommy Boyd said.

Deena's parents picked her up at the jail later that day, though no bail was posted; she was issued a summons and cut loose pending a July 3 arraignment.

How does this rank with other celebrity mug shots? Follow the link and vote!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Deena Cortese of Jersey Shore was arrested Sunday afternoon for disorderly conduct after getting drunk and "slapping cars" that were driving by.

Police chief Tommy Boyd told NBC 4 New York that one of his officers arrested Snooki's BFF after seeing her "a little intoxicated" on the street.

The officer, patrolman Chris Linnel, allegedly spotted her in the middle of a street, trying to swipe at cars that were driving by for some reason.

"Nothing major, but we can't put up with it," Chief Boyd stated.

Deena Nicole Cortese, Parents

He said that the star, often referred to by her full name Deena Nicole Cortese, was arrested and taken to the Seaside Heights police station.

She was served with a summons and released; no bail needed.

Deena Cortese's parents came to get her, as you can see in the photo above, as did JWoww and several other members of the MTV show.

The show is shooting its newest season, which features a pregnant Snooki and a sober Situation. Clearly the others are imbibing, however.

Seaside Heights police run into the gang quite a lot, but Chief Boyd quickly added, "We don't treat the cast differently than anyone else."

[Photo: WENN.com]

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jersey Shore has been in the news a lot lately for reasons having nothing to do with the show, making last night's reunion special feel a bit pointless.

With Snooki pregnant and Mike in rehab, the two top stories among MTV's band of guidos are playing out in real life, not in front of reality TV cameras.

Still, the gang assembled for a postmortem of sorts in the aftermath of the fifth season, which ended last week. And there certainly a lot to discuss.

Jersey Shore Season Five Cast

Highlights from the Jersey Shore reunion special included:

  • Snooki continuing to deny servicing Mike, saying, "If I was that horny, I'd just go to my room and masturbate." Sitch also stood his ground: "I'm not a liar, I'm not. And I'm not gonna be made out to look like one, that's it." 
  • Mike was again dubbed the villain of the house, after which he said he felt emotional and left out. JWoww suggested that he apologize for the shady things he's done, but Mike instead walked off set. Way to go man.
  • JWoww convinced him to com back out, and Mike did apologize. Aww.
  • BFFs Pauly and Vinny reminisced about pranks, stalkers and the like.
  • JWoww is still happy in love with Roger Williams.
  • Snooki is, of course, still with Jionni LaValle.
  • Ronnie Magro and Sammi Giancola are no longer in a relationship because their "schedules became hectic." As for who ended it? Mixed messages.

Just a few months until Jersey Shore season six films!

by Free Britney at . Comments

In light of the fact that Jionni got Snooki pregnant, and multiple cast members have their own spinoffs coming out, was this the last ever Jersey Shore?

That remains to be seen, but if Thursday night's Season 5 finale turned out to be a swan song, our favorite roving gang of guidos/ettes could do worse.

Between an epic prank war, laughter, tears, bittersweet emotions, hooking up with two lesbians and even a natural disaster, this chapter had it all in Seaside.

Let's recap the season finale of Jersey Shore, THG style!

Here's to the Shore

The Situation gets upset when he sees Pauly D and Vinny's latest prank. Like, for real upset. Like, it "really, really, really" pisses him off, he assures us.

And by that metric, Operation Inside Out was totes a success! Plus 14.

Eventually, Pauly helped Sitch bring all his "ruined" belongings back in the house. Because that's what friends do ... to help others quit whining. Plus 4.

Sitch tells Snook the gossip about Deena's sister. Guy cannot go 15 minutes without gossiping. Minus 10 for being lame, Plus 15 for entertaining fans.

Deena finds a new drink holder. Fake boobs are so utilitarian. Plus 9.

Vinny becomes "friends" with two lesbians at the club, and it seems they're into him too. It's as if he's died and gone to guido heaven. Plus 20.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

In light of the fact that Jionni LaValle got Snooki pregnant, this week's Jersey Shore seemed almost irrelevant ... and at the same time told us a lot.

Last night's show was filmed long before this bombshell, of course, but the buildup to Mike revealing his "master plan" had long been in the works.

Who were the winners and losers of this epic conflict?

Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!

Mike and Jionni

After The Situation tells Snooki's boyfriend that she cheated on him, the two shake hands. Mostly amicable, really. If only for a moment. Plus 11.

Even if Sitch's story is true, which it probably is, let's dace it, it's funny to watch Jionni and Snooki laugh about it as Mike expects drama. Plus 17.

For whatever reason, Mike decides he will go well every roommate what he did ... as if they care or he's doing it out of actual guilt. Minus 45.

When Vin porked Snook, he did not do this. Plus 8.

Snooki confronts The Situation, taking out aggression during a food fight. It's not as good as the Italy melee, but nevertheless, Plus 8.

The roommates watch as Snooki faces off against Sitch. Ever the protective figure, Pauly D tries to shield Deena from the fight. Plus 12.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Snooki is pregnant. Let's just get that out of the way right now. Jionni LaValle got effing Snooki pregnant. Amazing. The apocalypse cannot be too far behind.

Last night's episode was filmed long before this revelation, of course, and shows Snooki doing her usual drunken, moronic thing. But it puts it all in perspective.

Thursday, The Situation tried to stir the pot (shocker), the gang ran into a familiar face, someone went to the sex store and some idiot got arrested. Who was it?!

Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!

Snooki and Vinny Picture

Snooki and Vinny played coy about their flirtatious night out on the boardwalk, but nothing sexual happened. Phew. Could've been paternity test drama. Plus 9.

Deena, Pauly D, Mike and Vinny went to Jenk's, and they ran into ... Angelina Pivarnick! We forgot about her! Does this mean she's back on the show? Minus 10.

Nah. As Pauly said, they "kept it movin'." Oh, hey! Later! Plus 19.

The Situation strikes out with his girl. So does Pauly. Chalk it up to shyness and tampons, but it just wasn't happening for the dudes on this evening. Minus 8.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Yes, that actually happened on this week's Jersey Shore ... in one sense.

Last night's episode saw Roger knock some fool out, while the gang partook in a lot of water sports. Again, not as dirty as it sounds. Plenty idiotic, but not that dirty.

Later on, Lola the rabbit went to Karma and Ron got a mini-bike. Aww! How did everything else play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

Lola at Karma

Roger KO'd the dude who started messing with JWoww at the end of last week's episode. Not too much of a cliffhanger there ... have you seen Roger?! Plus 9.

Snooki gets upset when her boyfriend is too sick to smush. Jionni booting in the bathroom totally gets in the way of her "getting it in." Tragic news. Minus 4.

Meanwhile, Roger spends time with the roommates, talking and eating one of Mike's famous late-night sandwiches, instead of getting it in with J. Plus 10.

In an attempt to do something different, the producers Deena and Sammi persuaded the group to go to fishing, and crabbing. It is the shore, so Plus 6.

"I never thought I'd be excited about catching crabs." - Sitch. Too easy, but Plus 10.

The Situation helps Deena control the raft. Deena hits the water while Ronnie tries to deflate the raft. It's all pretty much a three-ring CF circus. Plus 7.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

That's not a euphemism or double entendre. It was a legitimate question Thursday.

This week down at the glamorous and totally disease-free New Jersey Shore ... JWoww and Rog patched things up, Sitch and Paula grew closer, Deena "did sex" with some schmoe, while someone ate her and Snooki's special cake for Danny!

How did it all play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

Cake Thief

Deena and Snooki decide to make an apology cake for their boss. It's not a meatball cake, but it is made and frosted and decorated by them with love. Aww. Plus 12.

Once morning came, a corner of the cake was eaten! MIKE! Minus 6.

Deena ends up with cake in her face. Again, not a euphemism. Plus 4. After she says "I wanted him to get the full-on cake," Danny gives it to her, in the grill.

Cake or no cake, Snooki was late to work again, as she goes to the doctor to get treatment for her UTI. Minus 15 for us visualizing the state of Snooki's UT.

She's had 10 UTIs in the past year she says. How is that even ... Minus 10.

Snooki and JWoww accuse Situation of stealing a piece of the apology cake, but it turns out it was ... Pauly D! Minus 7 for the (unlikely) false accusation.

"Don't cook a cake in my house and expect me not to eat it," he says. Fair. Plus 5.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

This week on the Jersey Shore, the "family" continued to experience all kinds of ups and downs. Vinny fell for a lesbian, Pauly acquired a new stalker, JWoww fought with Roger, Snooki acted ridiculously and no one could figure Mike out.

Pretty standard stuff, really. We are happy/sad to report that no one threw down!

How did it all play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

The Duck Phone

The Situation gets the dirt from his brother on his recent date with Deena's sister. Yep, that happened. As if this crew weren't incestuous enough. Minus 12.

"The real Mike is back and I love watching all the $h!t he does." - Pauly, after Mike decides he's going all out to start some $h!t again. Game on, brah. Plus 5.

Mike's plan to CRUSH Snooki by having his boy The Unit tell Jionni all about Sitch and Snook's sexy times failed because Unit was in Miami. Too bad? Plus 11.

Snooki tries to hang out with The Situation. Always a dangerous move. Minus 3.

Vinny juggles two girls at the bar. Good to be back, right? Plus 11.

Deena keeps Vinny's other girl occupied. Wing-meatball! Plus 8.

The more "hotass" of the two is Nicki, who is a lesbian. Vinny tried to get it in anyway, and Plus 7 for the effort, but Minus 14 for delusions. She bounced.

JWoww ducks out early, hella annoyed that Roger was dodging her calls even though he was down the street on the boardwalk. We smell drama. Minus 9.

Continue Reading...