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David Letterman has apologized for his jokes about Gov. Sarah Palin and her family that sparked angry replies from the former V.P. nominee earlier this week.

Sort of.

Tuesday night on The Late Show, Letterman quipped that Palin's daughter was knocked up Alex Rodriguez during a Yankees game, and that the hardest part of the Palins' New York City trip was keeping Eliot Spitzer away from their daughter.

This prompted the governor and her husband, Todd Palin, to slam Letterman for his "sexually perverted comments" about their 14-year-old daughter, Willow.

Todd fumed on Facebook: "Any 'jokes' about raping my 14-year-old are despicable. Alaskans know it and I believe the rest of the world knows it, too."

A familiar David Letterman expression, certainly applicable to this story.

Last night, Dave said he was referring to Bristol Palin, 18, not Willow. He admitted his jokes were in "questionable taste" and that he regrets telling them.

But, he added, he did nothing to advocate sexual relations with a minor, nor would he ever. As far as being guilty of anything but making jokes in bad taste, of which he has told thousands over the years, the talk show host pleaded innocent.

That about sums it up if you ask us. An acknowledgment that he crossed the line was warranted, as was clarification on what he meant by the aforementioned jokes. But, by the same token, the Palins could chill the eff out a little.

Letterman even invited Sarah to come on the show as a gesture of good faith. Here's his explanation of, and commentary on, the recent controversy:

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Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin recently paid a visit to the Big Apple, and as he has been known to do on The Late Show, David Letterman had some fun at her expense.

The 2008 GOP Vice Presidential nominee and her husband were hardly amused.

Tuesday night, Letterman joked in his monologue that when Sarah visited Yankee Stadium, she sat in "far, far right field" with Rudy Giuliani. Ba-dum-ching.

"They had a wonderful time," the talk show host continued. "The toughest part of her visit was keeping Eliot Spitzer away from her daughter." Ooooooh.

That, of course, is a reference to the disgraced former N.Y. Governor who was caught sleeping with hooker Ashley Dupre and forced to resign his office.

“One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the game," Letterman later said, "during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.”

While clearly digs at A-Rod and Spitzer and not the Palins, Alaska's first couple took to - what else - Facebook to post the following message in response:

"Any 'jokes' about raping my 14-year-old daughter are despicable. Alaskans know it and I believe the rest of the world knows it, too," Todd Palin wrote.

Meanwhile, from Sarah Palin:

"Concerning Letterman's comments about my young daughter (and I doubt he'd ever dare make such comments about anyone else's daughter): 'Laughter incited by sexually-perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/NY entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands – that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone's daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others.'"

While in somewhat poor taste, does anyone think Dave is really advocating "perverted" acts against 14-year-old Willow... or Track, or Field, or whichever one it is?

And is it not a comedy show, where stars are lampooned?

Not to mention the fact that Bristol Palin, the couple's oldest daughter, actually was knocked up in early 2008, when she was 17. But that's neither here nor there.

One could even argue that the only exploitation of the Palins' daughter is courtesy of the Palins themselves, who are making a giant deal out of a relatively harmless joke to play the victim and get attention. Would you put it past them?

Either that, or they're complete nut jobs. Perhaps a little of both.

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Jay Leno has left The Tonight Show for a new prime time series, but that was not about to stop Howard Stern from making his feelings about him known.

In summation, the shock jock ripped Leno during his appearance on last night's Late Show and vowed to help David Letterman take down Conan O'Brien.

"We gotta beat this Conan. For God sakes, how are you feeling that Jay left late-night television and now we got a new guy we gotta compete with?" the admittedly disgruntled, bitter old man Stern asked an amused Letterman.

"And I wanna say something to this audience about loyalty ... Dave put me on national television many, many years ago before I was known. And I have stuck with Dave ... I didn't like Jay. I never liked Jay. I can't stand Jay."

No arguments here - or from the studio audience that greeted the 55-year-old radio host's scathing, somewhat odd comments with big applause!

And Stern, who later talked about other important topics, such as his wedding to Beth Ostrosky, wasn't finished with Leno there by any means.

"Let me say something. I never seen anybody who behaves like a robot like this guy," he continued. "I watched his final show. He says goodbye to The Tonight Show. He says goodbye reading it off a teleprompter for cryin' out loud."

"Where's the emotion, and where's the humanity?"

Stern recounted his one and only appearance on The Tonight Show, when he "showed up with two lesbians," which naturally turned off Leno:

"He's shocked. He walks off his own show. I knew it wouldn't last."

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Back in April, David Letterman made no secret of the fact that he kind of wanted to see the Lauren Conrad sex tape. Assuming it existed, of course.

Well, last night, Jessica Biel made an appearance on the Late Show that sparked similar comments from Dave, who insinuated that photos of her kissing Justin Timberlake at a recent Lakers game were a preview of what happened later.

He also suggested that the couple's phone calls early in their relationship were of the phone sex variety. Dude is definitely become a dirty old man.

A funny one, though. Especially when he revealed his cluelessness regarding Jessica and Justin's relationship, asking "So, you're dating the guy? We know this, we don't know this? We can talk about it, we can't talk about it?"

"Yes, we're dating," she replied, adding that's it's been "a few years."

"A few years! Really?" asked Letterman. "Am I the only one who doesn't know this?"

"I think so," answered an amused Biel.

We're just glad he didn't ask about the Jessica Biel nude scene in Powder Blue. That could have gotten a little awkward. Watch the interview below ...

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Few comedic formulas can top David Letterman and The Hills.

Forced to talk about the MTV reality show, which he knows next to nothing about, other than hating Spencer Pratt with a passion, the Late Show host was in rare form last night when interviewing its leading lady, Lauren Conrad.

In this clip from last night's show, Letterman decries that "snake" Spencer for making up rumors about LC engaging in "sexual activities" on video, but admits that, being the kind of guy he is, he "kinda wanted to see it."

Lauren's reaction to that comment? Not un-priceless.

Dave went on to ask about this weekend's Speidi wedding, as well as how that "load" Brody Jenner is doing. The conversation only got more absurd from there.

Peep this two-and-a-half-minute excerpt and see ...

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David Letterman and Bill O'Reilly have had some memorable exchanges in the past, and last night's visit by O'Reilly to The Late Show certainly followed suit.

In fact, it took two minutes for Letterman to point-blank call him a goon.

Letterman, who warmed our hearts when he got married to his longtime partner Regina Lasko last month, is certainly not losing touch with his cranky side.

Accusing Bill O'Reilly of being "too smart to say the things he says," cutting him off frequently and telling him he's not that entertaining (or a journalist), Dave showed his lack of tolerance for people he deems self-important and unfunny.

For his part, Bill wasn't exactly backing down. The result was a tense interview that ofen turned more bitter than comedic, but was certainly entertaining:

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What made David Letterman finally get hitched to girlfriend Regina Lasko after 23 years of dating? Maybe he just needed Top Ten list material for the week.

After regaling us with his funny wedding day story Monday, he presented a "Top 10 Reasons I Got Married" list on last night's show. You knew it was coming:

He calls it mediocre, but any list that bashes himself, Dr. Phil, Larry King and Paris Hilton is a winner in our book. The Top Ten transcribed for good measure ...

10. Poconos offers newlyweds free room with champagne-glass Jacuzzi.
9. If I'm gonna catch Larry King, I'd better get going.
8. Still drunk from St. Patty's, dude!
7. She needed a green card.
6. When you're my age and look like I do, if someone says they'll marry you, you do it.
5. Don't have to listen to any more crap from that quack Dr. Phil.
4. I finally fit into my dream dress!
3. Free cake.
2. Got tired of waiting for Paris Hilton.
1. Figured at the least we'd get a mediocre Top Ten out of it.

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David Letterman's surprise marriage to Regina Lasko, which took place in Montana last week, created quite a buzz when it was revealed yesterday. The 61-year-old Late Show host officially spilled the beans at the Monday taping of his CBS program.

The happy couple, who are the parents of a five-year-old son, Harry, have been together for many years. Here's what Dave had to say about tying the knot with Regina Lasko after all that time, and what happened en route to the courthouse ...

"On Thursday, at 3 PM, March 19, 2009 at the Teton County Courthouse in Choteau, Montana, I was married to Regina Lasko. Regina and I began dating in February of 1986, and I said, ‘Well, things are going pretty good, let’s just see what happens in about ten years.’ I had avoided getting married pretty good for, like, 23 years, and I - honestly, whether this happened or not - I secretly felt that men who were married admired me ... like I was the last of the real gunslingers, you know what I’m saying?"

Follow the jump for the rest of Dave's funny wedding story, as well as some more pictures of him with Regina Lasko ...

Continue Reading...

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David Letterman and longtime girlfriend Regina Lasko have gotten hitched.

The host of The Late Show with David Letterman and Lasko tied the knot Thursday evening, according to Us Weekly, after more than 10 years of dating.

Tamera Mowry, Adam Housley

The two met mover a decade ago when Lasko worked for him on his show, and Regina is the mother of his son, Harry, who was born in November 2003.

David Letterman, Regina Lasko and adorable son Harry.

In 2007, David Letterman told Oprah Winfrey that his son Harry has made a "huge difference" in his life - but doesn't always get his sense of humor.

Said Dave, "Mommy has to tell him a lot that I'm just teasing."

Prior to marrying Regina Lasko, Letterman was previously married for seven years to his college sweetheart, Michelle Cook. Congrats to the couple!

UPDATE: Regina Lasko found herself back in the news in September 2009 after Letterman's affairs with members of his staff became public knowledge.

Dave had been with Regina Lasko for 20 years, but apparently carried on at least one serious relationship with a Late Show staffer. He said as much.

The woman, Stephanie Birkitt, later dated Robert Halderman, who is accused of trying to blackmail Letterman for $2 million to keep quiet about it.

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There really isn't much to say about Joaquin Phoenix's visit to The Late Show last night, other than that he may want to stop hanging out with Snoop Dogg.

Bearded, spaced out and wearing sunglasses indoors, Phoenix may or may not have known where he was at that moment, uttering barely decipherable, monosyllabic answers about his film Two Lovers and career in general.

Things got so awkward that in order to break the ice, David Letterman posed this to the actor: "What can you tell us about your days with the Unibomber?"

It got worse. When the topic inevitably turned to his fledgling music career - for which he is supposedly giving up acting - Phoenix confirmed that hip-hop was his genre of choice, a revelation that sparked laughter from the audience.

"That's a joke?" he (slowly) snapped, clearly upset by the crowd reaction. "What do you have them on? What do you gas them up with? Is this nitrous?"

[crickets]

At the end of the interminable interview, Letterman summed it up as best he could: "Well, Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight." See below ...

David Letterman Biography

David Letterman Photograph David Letterman hosts our favorite late-night talk show. His top 10 lists are always good for a laugh. In the summer of 2009, he got into... More »
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