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David Hans Schmidt, the celebrity sex tape broker who's featured in this month's issue of Details, has profited immensely from the videos he's released â€" as well as the footage he hasn't.

Lying on his couch one afternoon in late February, Schmidt puts Oprah on mute, grabs his ringing phone, and raises an eyebrow.

"Where's 732?" He flips it to speaker. "Hans Schmidt."

"Er, hi. I had a look at your website," says a male voice. "I've got footage of Cassandra Peterson copulating in the '70s. She was Elvira, Mistress of the Dark? She's in negotiation to do a reality show ... "

This is how it is for David Hans Schmidt these days.

If there's a celebrity sex tape out there, it has a way of finding him. Porn on a plate. Such are the rewards of being America's premier peddler of celebrity porn.

At 46, Schmidt has put together an extensive résumé that includes the Gennifer Flowers Penthouse cover, Tonya Harding's wedding night video, Paris Hilton's private diaries, nude shots of Private Jessica Lynch, Amber Frey, and Jamie Foxx, sex tapes of Colin Farrell and Dustin Diamond â€" and, if the man on the phone is for real (Schmidt is still determining the tape's authenticity), Elvira.

"Tell me, is there full sex, fellatio, cunnilingus?" Schmidt asks, pacing around the room in stonewashed jeans and cowboy boots. The man claims there's 18 minutes of high-res action. In color. With a money shot.

"Excellent!" Schmidt exclaims. "Okay, first we enter into a broker's-fee agreement, which stipulates a period of time in which I can effectuate a deal for you. Then you surrender to me a DVD, which I show prospective buyers on my laptop. And then, my friend, we'll go for the high buck. Somewhere between Sunset Boulevard and Wilshire, we'll come to a deal."

They swap information, and Schmidt shuts his phone, grinning.

"What you have just witnessed is a moment of history," he exclaims, stroking his mustache. "What might be the first deal for David Hans Schmidt since he almost got f**king killed!"

Continue reading this Details article here ...

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Ah, Screech. He's not only a sick f**k, but a liar.

The Gossip has officially learned what it has been saying all along - that the release of the infamous Dustin Diamond sex video was no accident after all. Zoinks!

In shocking news, the man known best as Screech Powers now confesses to Details magazine that he was in on the release of the now-infamous sex video from the start.

While he did not mention whether there is a "package double" on the tape, Diamond says in the interview that someone was threatening to let the Screech sex tape (Saved By The Smell?) loose, so he called up Red Light District and struck a deal with them to beat the "sleaze guy" to the punch and make some money.

"We backdoored them," he said, pun possibly not intended.

So much for his war of words with celebrity porn broker David Hans Schmidt, the so-called "sleaze" who got his hands on the tape and has maintained that Screech was in on it from the get-go.

We could have told you that. Known for integrity and candor, David Hans Schmidt has shown himself to be a gentleman and a true professional. If he's not the personification of the American Dream, we don't know who is.

In any case, the Dirty Sanchez distributor is going to be an amateur porn star before you know it. Eat your heart out, Mary Carey.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Yes, that's right. Dustin Diamond is back in the news regarding his infamous sex video, which we first learned of last fall.

The Saved by The Bell alum said recently on The Dr. Keith Ablow Show that he unsuccessfully tried to stop the video from being distributed.

The Dustin Diamond sex tape, says its star, shows him cavorting with (and performing lewd acts upon) two young women, but it was just a dare from some poker buddies, and never was intended to get out.

Sure thing, says the tape's owner, David Hans Schmidt, who got his hands on the thing shortly thereafter. Singing a different tune, David Hans says the alleged comedian known as Screech was "in on this deal from the start."

What's more, Schmidt said that he's not even sure that it's all Diamond - at least where it counts - in the graphic sex video.

"You never see his face and his [manhood] in the same shot," said Schmidt, the celebrity sex tape broker who added that he might sue if Diamond is indeed misrepresenting himself.

One possible theory: It's Mario Lopez on the tape, not Diamond!

But anyway, don't go filing that lawsuit just yet, David Hans Schmidt. Diamond's girlfriend - really, he has one, and it's not Lisa Turtle - tells the New York Daily News that she can vouch for the package.

Who knew that more Screech sex tape controversy would arise. At least we know those nude Britney Spears pictures from last month are the real deal.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Britney Spears sex tape, or alleged Britney Spears sex tape, as we keep calling it, for lack of proof that it even exists, continues to fuel intense, filthy, lewd speculation.

The UK tabloid News of the World reported that Kevin Federline is shopping a four-hour sex tape featuring himself naked and "enjoying an uninhibited range of lovemaking" to his now-estranged wife, Britney Spears.

Still Shackled

The paper cites a source close to Federline saying, "They did nothing all day but have sex - and play the odd game of chess."

Huh? K-Fed plays chess? We figured him for the checkers type, if you know what we're saying. We're saying he's a stupid f*%k and not smart enough to play chess.

Neither Britney or Kevin has confirmed the tape exists, but notorious porn broker David Hans Schmidt, who has said he is willing to pay up to $100 million for the tape if it is authentic, tells Us Weekly that he has been in contact with the alleged video's seller and plans to meet him in person today.

Although the seller spoke to Schmidt from a phone with a scrambled number, the man known heretofore as the Celebrity Sex Tape God says that the seller "dropped all the right names that made me believe he had the tape."

At the same time, TMZ reports that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline will get back together - just one more time, to assure the public they never made any sex tapes. Unlike Dustin Diamond. He made one. In which he gave some chick the Dirty Sanchez. Yuck. Please keep that Screech sex tape away from us, David Hans Schmidt.

A statement will be issued by Britney and K-Fed soon, the celebrity sleuths report.

by Free Britney at . Comments

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

That's how Dustin Diamond, a.k.a. Screech Powers, feels about cashing in on his disturbing and recently-leaked sex tape.

The actor/comedian defended his recent decision to profit from the alleged Screech sex tape to Rita Cosby on MSNBC's Scarborough Country Wednesday.

"We could spend a fortune fighting it in court, with little bits already being leaked out on the Internet, or we could suck it up and say you know what, it could be a losing battle, we'll make money if we just side with it," Diamond said.

And thus, the career of Screech Powers, amateur porn star, begins.

Double D also confessed that he's formed a different opinion of his former enemy, the porn video kingpin David Hans Schmidt, even going so far as to pay that sick bastard a backhanded compliment.

"I tip my hat to the guy ... if someone has a tape out there, they gotta watch out, 'cuz chances are he's gonna get a hold of it... the Sultan of Sleaze has done it again and I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar."

THG NOTE: Hard to fault Screech for his decision to sell out. It's like we've been saying for years. If you're going to give some skank the Dirty Sanchez, you might as well try and make some cash off it.

Schmidt also appeared on the show and boasted of four more celebrity sex tapes which have recently fallen into his possession -- one featuring a certain rap artist, another of a celeb who stars on the Bravo network.

No clues yet, but at least it's not K-Fed. That dude is no artist.

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Heads up, Paris Hilton, you're about to have company.

Actually, you probably have had "company" for the past few hours already. Maybe twice!

In any case, it's about to become official -- Dustin Diamond is going to join the ranks of other sex tape stars and have his moment in the very disturbing spotlight.

Sex tape broker and certifiable sick f*&k David Hans Schmidt has struck a deal with ClubRedLight.com to distribute the tape. While the actor has publicly protested the sale of the Screech sex tape, that's not stopping him from hitting The Howard Stern Show and MSNBC to chat about it.

Red Light tells the New York Daily News that the tape is "quite humorous and, at times, arousing."

Gross.

While we don't judge anyone here at T.H. Gossip (with the exception of that b!tch Ashlee Simpson and her utter lack of redeeming worth), the motivation behind the Dustin Diamond sex tape is hard to fathom. Is this some sort of publicity stunt by Screech? How do you do that to some skank on film and not think it's gonna get out? Who the hell knows.

by Free Britney at . Comments

So the Gossip has seen portions of the Dustin Diamond sex tape, which we talked about yesterday, and can confirm that it is real... and not at all pleasant.

Yes, the former Saved by the Bell star, who warmed our hearts as the lovable Screech Powers, starts off the video in a bathtub, narrating what's to come. The tape ends with Diamond introducing one of the women to a "Dirty Sanchez."

If you don't know what that euphamism means, look it up. Online. Preferably at work, when your boss is expecting a report from you and is about to come asking for it.

Suffice it say, it is unbelievably graphic.

For now, you can watch the clips at TMZ.com. But you soon may be able to own this thing, if that's what you're into. David Hans Schmidt, who has become famous in the sex tape industry by peddling videos featuring Paris Hilton, Colin Farrell and others, claims ownership to the Screech tape.

It was shot in a hotel, with Diamond holding the camera and narrating, as he engages two women in various combinations and positions. He does not say if this tape is being made to raise money for his battle against foreclosure.

Schmidt is reportedly out shopping the tape, which supposedly has generated a good amount of interest. What's unusual is that some mainstream media companies are interesting in purchasing the rights.

Screech, you are a dirty, dirty man. Christina Aguilera has nothing on you.