by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We are not traditional.

So said Crystal Harris to People when asked about her relationship with Hugh Hefner. The 24-year old wasn't even referring to the age difference between her and her 84-year old fiance, however.

Crystal Harris in Vegas

She was simply recounting how Hefner proposed, placing her giant ring inside a Little Mermaid music box and not getting down on one knee.

Hefner, meanwhile, describes Crystal as "totally devoted," adding:

"Her priorities are pretty much our relationship, No. 1 and No. 2 and 3, and you don't always find that. Despite the age disparity, the truth of the matter is we have a great deal in common, we really complement one another, we have a wonderful time together, and I love her."

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

I hope it fits.

With these words, Hugh Hefner gifted Crystal Harris with a ring on New Year's Eve and watched as the 24-year old Playmate said yes through tears of joy.

Spencer Grammer and James Hesketh Photo

The busty blonde tells E! News she and Hef had discussed marriage at length, so "nothing's changed" now that the engagement is official. As for that three-karat-plus rock? She helped pick it out.

Harris also says the wedding will be small and intimate (just "close friends and family"), will take place at the Mansion and probably be held in the summer.

Will the couple have children?

"I've never really been the wanting children type," she says. "I just have a bunch of different projects I'm working on and that's fun for me so that's what I'm going to do."

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Why would a 24-year old marry an 84-year old?

It's not for the looks, or the stamina or the possibility of raising children together.

But Crystal Harris gave us a hint behind her motivation for becoming Mrs. Hugh Hefner when she Tweeted the following photo of the rock this senior citizen placed on her finger last week:

Crystal Harris Ring

Would you marry a man 60 years older than you in exchange for this diamond?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Santa Claus presented Hugh Hefner with a busty blonde over the weekend, as the Playboy founder announced via Twitter that he's engaged to 24-year old Crystal Harris. He explained:

"I gave Crystal a ring. A truly memorable Christmas Eve. When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christmas in memory."

Luisana Loreley Lopilato de la Torre and Michael Buble

Harris was the Playboy Playmate of December 2009 and moved into the famous Mansion soon afterward.

This will be the third marriage for Hefner, as he finally filed for divorce from Kimberly Conrad last year, following the pair's 1998 separation. He was previously hitched to Mildred Williams; their marriage ended 27 years before Harris was born.

We wish this couple all the Viagra-inspired best!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Tonight, E! viewers will meet the new Girls Next Door, as Crystal Harris, Karissa Shannon and Kristina Shannon officially replaced Holly, Bridget and Kendra as Hugh Hefner's leading ladies.

Asked about the woman that's replaced her atop the Playboy Mansion girlfriend train, Madison said in a recent interview that Harris is her "clone," a description the busty blonde takes exception to.

“That is flattering because I wouldn’t compare myself saying that someone looks like me,” Crystal said to OK! Weekly of Holly’s comments. “I just think it’s flattering.”

Hmmm... we wonder where Holly ever would have gotten this comparison from.

Crystal Harris is the exact opposite of Holly Madison, if you don't count their hair color, fake boobs and shared penchant for banging old men.

Meanwhile, those hoping to get to know Kristina Shannon should check out her MySpage page, where the sex-crazed sibling writes:

"Love me without fear. Trust me without wondering. Love me without restrictions. Want me without demands. Accept me how I am. A love like that will be ETERNAL!"

It will also be good for ratings. Click on the photos below for larger images of the new (and improved?) Girls Next Door:

  • The Viagra Train
  • Close Sisters

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Sure, it might seem as though Crystal Harris is just using Hugh Hefner for fame and attention.

And, of course, one might assume the Playboy founder was only interested in sex with a much younger blonde.

Hef and Harris

But Harris tells E! News that her and Hefner actually have a lot in common. Like a passion for fun!

"We were both psychology majors in school... We laugh a lot together. We watch movies together. We love relaxing and having a good time and hanging out with the girls. We just keep it fun."

How did we ever doubt this couple? It's like a match made in busty heaven.

On October 11, fans will learn even more about this pair, as they star alongside Karissa and Kristina Shannon in a new version of The Girls Next Door.

What should viewers expect to discover about the young women that make love to such an old man?

"We're the wild ones and party animals, and Crystal's really calm and mellow," said Karissa, while her sister added: "We don't like the peacocks here. They poop everywhere, and they're loud."

That doesn't make them so different from Hef, does it?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Bridget Marquardt has a Travel Channel show and might come out with a new reality series.

But she just can't stay away from the Playboy Mansion and its wrinkly old owner of an ex-boyfriend!

Crystal Harris Playboy Cover

Marquardt showed up this weekend at the large residence and got cozy with Hugh Hefner and his new set of girlfriends at the annual Midsummer Night’s Dream party.

Below, Bridget snuggles up with Karissa and Kristina Shannon, while Crystal Harris also played hosts to a numer of of celebrity guests at the event...

Click the photos above to wonder how the heck Hugh Hefner attracts such fine pieces of tail.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

They haven't been having sex with a wrinkly old man for nothing!

After months of waking up with Metamucil in their hair for seemingly no reason, Crystal Harris, Karissa Shannon and Kristina Shannon are finally getting the official spotlight they signed on for:

Hugh Hefner has confirmed that he and his new trio of women will be filming a new season of The Girls Next Door.

"You are looking at part of the cast here," Hefner told Us Weekly over the weekend, pointing to his girlfriends. "We are going to have a lot of fun."

New Girls Next Door

As supporters of Barack Obama, the Shannon Twins are doing their part to stimulate the economy. They're single-handedly responsible for keeping Viagra in business. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

What can viewers expect on the new edition of the E! reality series, which previously followed around Kendra Wilkinson, Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt?

"Fun and games!" Hef said.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Considering the constant parade of beautiful women in his bedroom, Hugh Hefner is not one to dwell on the past.

That's why he's confused about a report this week that claimed he wanted Holly Madison to move back into the Playboy Mansion (either that, or Hef is suffering from dementia; the guy is really, really old).

"I have no idea where these crazy stories come from," Hefner said in a statement. "The idea that I'm pining over former girlfriend Holly Madison and would 'welcome her back with open arms' is pure fiction. It was invented by someone to create publicity."

Hef said he doesn't think of Madison in that way anymore. After all, the guy is totally smitten with one to three women.

"I'm in love with Crystal Harris (pictured) and wouldn't trade her or the Shannon Twins for anyone in the past," he said. "Holly will always be welcome here at the mansion, but not as a girlfriend. I think she's happy now, and I know I am."

No offense to Holly, but Hef appears to have made the right decision. Harris is the hottest girlfriend he's had yet. We present the following photos of her as evidence:

  • Crystal Harris Photo
  • Crystal Harris Pic

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

This just in: it's good to be Hugh Hefner.

The Playboy founder and chick magnet turned 83 last week - and he didn't exactly celebrate by himself.

Hefner and his most recent string of beautiful blondes gathered at the Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

Indeed, all of Hef's former and current girlfriends turned out for the party: Karissa and Kristina Shannon, Bridget Marquardt, Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson and Crystal Harris. Man, to be a fly on Hef's bedroom wall on this night...

Girls Next Door Pic

Click on the pics above for larger images of Hugh Hefner and his lovely ladies.