by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Like our Tila Tequila Twitter Tracker, we may soon need to make a rundown of late-night jabs and one-liners into a daily segment.

In the wake of the NBC programming debacle, David Letterman and company continue to chime in on Jay Leno's eventual takeover of the 11:35 p.m. time slot.

It's a mess, and we feel badly for Conan O'Brien, but it's also made for some great material. A sampling of last night's jokes are below...

Jay Leno: "Conan O'Brien, understandable, is very upset. He had a statement in the paper yesterday. Conan said NBC only gave him seven months to make his show work. When I heard that -- seven months! How'd he get that deal? We only got four."

Conan O'Brien and Ricky Gervais

Conan: "Hosting The Tonight Show has been the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me - and I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too."

"According to a new TV Guide poll, 83 percent of voters want me to stay at 11:35. When he heard this poll number, President Obama asked, 'How can I get NBC to screw me over?'"

Letterman: "Last night on ABC, Jimmy Kimmel did the entire show as Jay Leno. Jimmy Kimmel was so convincing as Leno, today NBC canceled him."

"Isn't it lousy cold outside today? You know, they say, from the weather bureau, they say it's caused by an arctic chill between Jay and Conan."

Craig Ferguson: "For those of you who don't remember Tiger Woods, he's the guy we used to make fun of in the olden times before late-night TV went nuts and we all started talking about each other all the time."

Whose team are you on, readers?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

While Conan O'Brien fans continues to express outrage and disbelief over the way the The Tonight Show host has been treated, Jimmy Kimmel is making his allegiance clear.

The comedian parodied the ridiculous mess of a late-night situation NBC has dug itself into by dressing up as Jay Leno last night and taking a few shots at his rival joke teller.

Kimmel, whose Jimmy Kimmel Live airs on ABC, joked that Leno was taking over everyone's program. Check out the clip below and then respond: Was this over the line?

After all, it's not Jay's fault that NBC is operated by people dumber than Paris Hilton. It's unclear what the network was ever thinking when it put Leno on primetime; nor are the reasons for his move back to 11:35 p.m. crystal clear right now.

What is clear: O'Brien is a funny, classy individual that won't be a part of the NBC family for much longer. We wish him the best of luck in all future endeavors.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

If it's possible to be classy, funny and bitter all at the same time, Conan O'Brien has pulled it off.

The comedian has released a lengthy statement in which he essentially resigns from NBC, following the network's decision to yank The Tonight Show's customary 11:35 p.m. time slot out from underneath him.

Out of respect for O'Brien, we've published the entire letter below. We hope NBC goes out of business...

“People of Earth: In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Conan O'Brien Pic

Is it cold in here? Or is it NBC's treatment of Conan O'Brien?

“Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future.

It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

“But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

According to source, Conan O'Brien has a message for NBC:

EFF YOU!

Appropriately, yet unfortunately, the red-headed comedian feels like the red-headed stepchild of late-night television after his network gave him The Tonight Show; thwarted any chances for success by sticking The Jay Leno Show at 10 p.m.; and then ended that experiment after five months and returned Leno to the 11:35 p.m. time slot.

No one has been jerked around this much since the last 12 guys that dated Lindsay Lohan.

Conan

As Conan weighs his options, reports say he's likely to leave for Fox. Said an insider:

"This level of shitiness was not expected. He's done a great job for NBC. He moved his entire staff, he moved his family to LA. And five months later, they repay him like this?"

Did O'Brien really expect something different from NBC? This is the same network that canceled all its original 10 p.m. programming and is actually considering yet another season of Heroes.

It has as much of a chance of finding success as The Situation has of winning an Academy Award.

Below, O'Brien hilariously recounts the rumors that have been floating around regarding he and Leno. This, folks, is why Jay doesn't hold a humorous candle to Conan...

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

NBC is trying to squash rumors that Jay Leno will soon return to The Tonight Show stage.

According to various reports, the 10 p.m. time slot has been a failure for the comedian. These sources state his talk show will take a hiatus on February 1 and return in early March (after NBC airs the Olypics) - at 11:30 p.m.

What would this move mean for Conan O'Brien's future at the network? It's unclear. Ratings for his stint as host of The Tonight Show have been lower than expected.

With this rumor swirling, NBC has released the following statement, which appears to support Leno remaining in primetime, but doesn't guarantee it:

"Jay Leno is one of the most compelling entertainers in the world today. As we have said all along, Jay's show has performed exactly as we anticipated on the network. It has, however, presented some issues for our affiliates. Both Jay and the show are committed to working closely with them to find ways to improve the performance."

Are you (somehow) on Team Jay or Team Conan?

 

** UPDATE: NBC Chairman Jeff Gaspin has now gone on record and said: “I can confirm, starting Feb. 12, The Jay Leno Show will no longer air at 10 p.m.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Tonight Show is not known for breaking news, but Conan O’Brien had some last night, revealing the newest addition to the list of Tiger Woods mistresses.

By now, Tiger's extramarital affairs are common knowledge, but this one will still shock you, as it came completely out of left field (and the girl's not his type).

At this point, Tiger should really consider heading to rehab for sex addiction, as has been rumored, because this is 12 women and counting. That we know of.

During a wrap-up of 2009's films, Conan showed viewers a deleted scene from one of this year’s hits that featured a lucky lady linked to the world's #1 golfer.

This is one you didn't see coming ... even if Tiger wishes he did:

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Tonight Show has had way too much fun chiding Sarah Palin this year, thanks to master thespian William Shatner's spoken-word, excerpted readings from the former governor's farewell speech and later Levi Johnston's Twitter account.

It was high time Sarah got in on the action herself, don't you think?

On last night's Tonight Show, Shatner again treated us to signature, dramatic prose (with bongo accompaniment) from Palin's new memoir, Going Rogue.

But this time, Sarah made a surprise appearance to turn the tables.

"I think Bill did a great job, but I think it's only appropriate that I read a few choice excerpts from Mr. Shatner's autobiography, Up Till Now," she said.

And she did. Watch the dueling, spoken-word comic genius below ...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Wednesday, The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien featured master thespian William Shatner reading Tweets from Levi Johnston, poetry-style, in a hilarious skit.

Well, it turns out the Twitter page they quoted from was a fake. Levi was not pleased at being portrayed as a racist pothead, and demanded Conan apologize.

He did so last night, saying: "I would like to personally apologize to Levi Johnston for misrepresenting him in any way. Levi is truly a great American. We wish him the best of luck as he trains for his upcoming naked photo shoot."

Conan then brought Shatner back out to make amends, and recite, in similar fashion, some actual verified quotes from Levi Johnston. Some of the gems:

  • "The first thing Sarah said to me at the hotel was 'you gotta cut your hair.' I told her I didn't want to. I had a mullet at the time."
  • "Guess what? I shot a big ass bear."
  • "If Sarah wanted food, then we'd get her something to eat. Like a Crunch-Wrapped Supreme from ... Taco Bell."
  • "I just get naked. That's what I do."

Classic. Here's William Shatner channeling his inner Levi last night ...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Most things sound better when master thespian William Shatner recites it over soothing, melodic percussion. Levi Johnston's Twitter page (real or fake) is no exception.

Levi is furious over a skit on last night's Tonight Show in which Levi came off looking like a moronic, racially insensitive pothead ... by virtue of his own Twitter page.

His alleged Twitter page, anyway. The attorney for the future Playgirl centerfold is claiming that the outrageous Tweets Conan O'Brien attributed to Levi are fake.

Conan introduced the skit referencing Shatner's reciting of Sarah Palin's inane farewell speech over the summer, and saying who better than to read Levi's Tweets?

"All real ... we did not make these up," Conan added.

Among the Tweets read poetry-style by Shatner: "Anybody know where I can get some good weed?" "Is it true that fat kids never get kidnapped?" "Whats the deal with the taxi drivers not speaking English, is there a law against it?"

And: "You know you're a celebrity when strangers want to see your penis. LM ... AO."

His lawyer, Rex Butler, is not LMAO. He  is demanding a retraction from NBC, as well as from Twitter, saying that "I think they have an obligation once something like this happens to make some kind of corrective measure."

NBC has yet to comment. Here's the hilarious video in question ...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Last night on The Tonight Show, Conan O'Brien tried to defend his obsessive viewing of The Hills by pawning it off on his wife, and its retired star, Lauren Conrad, talked about some of her previous encounters with fans of the show.

LC, who was there on her L.A. Candy book tour before the conversation turned to more important topics, discussed a time when a crazed fan literally threw a baby at her.

In case you were wondering, babies do not ricochet.

Here's an excerpt of Lauren Conrad's talk with Conan O'Brien - and Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David - about that particular fan run-in:

Conan: So she threw her baby at you?
Lauren: But my back was to her, and it ricocheted off of me, and I was like-
Conan: Babies don't ricochet!
Lauren: It did, though!
Conan: I have had two babies. They do not ricochet. They hit and slide.
Lauren: But I was moving. So it ricocheted.
Conan: That's one of the stranger stories I've ever heard.
Larry: I'd like to steal that story for my show!

Check out the video of Lauren's trip to the Tonight Show below ...

Conan O'Brien Biography

Conan Conan O'Brien was hilarious at 12:30 a.m. But he hasn't fared well in the Tonight Show time slot and rumors began to circulate in early... More »
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Conan O'Brien
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