Conan O'Brien

Comedian Louis C.K. is never at a loss for words, and that includes regarding Twitter ... on which he only has an account so he can tell people how to give him money.

That's a direct quote from his recent sit-down on Conan, and it wasn't his last - the Louie star basically said that people squandering their lives thanks to social media.

Between Tweeting and taking photos of events just to bomb them out using social media outlets, are we directly missing real-world experiences? Louis C.K. says yes.

What would it take for humanity to put its phones down? The end of the world? The second coming of the Messiah. As Conan put it, "Jesus is trending right now!"

Louis C.K. Goes Off on Twitter

Conan O’Brien is resurrecting an old standby tonight.

For the first time since moving to TBS last year, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog will join O’Brien on stage. Conan tweeted the news via this pic from New York, where he's broadcasting this week. He's not looking too pleased about the insults to come:

Technically, O’Brien’s content from NBC is property of that network, but the TBS host has already brought the Masturbating Bear back without repercussions.

It's go time for Triumph tonight. This sock puppet pooch drops comedic bombs on foolz like no other, and we can only pity who his victim(s) might be.

If you haven't seen this crass canine in action, you're in luck. We've dug deep and posted Triumph at the premiere of Star Wars: Episode II below ...

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Star Wars Premiere

Anne Hathaway came ready to drop bombs on Conan Tuesday.

With paparazzi stalking the set of The Dark Knight Rises, in which Anne will be playing Catwoman, the actress is looking to release some pent-up frustration.

“With all the stuff that’s been going on with Batman, the paparazzi attention has been a little intense," she told Conan O'Brien on his show last night. "So I actually wrote a rap song about it ... it's in the style of Lil Wayne.”

What better influence, right? Watch:

Anne Hathaway Rapping

Conan O'Brien earned an honorary degree from Dartmouth over the weekend, a fact he brought up in mocking, self-deprecating fashion while delivering the commencement address at the university on Sunday.

“My first job as your commencement speaker is to illustrate that life is not fair,” he said. “For instance, you have worked tirelessly for four years to earn the diploma you’ll be receiving this weekend. And Dartmouth is giving me the same degree for interviewing the fourth lead in Twilight. Deal with it.”

Conan O'Brien Dartmouth Commencement Address

The comedian also used his own experience - a certain late-night talk show ousting - to send a message to everyone in the audience. He told them:

“Like many people, I thought that achieving that goal would define me as successful. But that is not true. No specific job or career goal defines me, and it should not define you... whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.”

Watch the full speech above and then sound off: Just how awesome is Conan O'Brien?!?

Conan O'Brien can't say he wasn't warned about the #beardpocalypse.

Last month, Will Ferrell made a Funny or Die video demanding Conan shave off his ginger beard or Will would do it for him when he came on his show May 2.

The comedian made good on his threat Monday night. As O'Brien sat waiting, Ferrell took a sip of "the blue stuff" used to disinfect combs and went to town!

Ferrell gave O'Brien a stack of 1970s-era "Playboy" magazines, asked him "Are you ready to feel the steel?" and let him have it with his razor, Excalibeard:

Will Ferrell Shaves Conan O'Brien's Beard

Starting with O'Brien's left side, Ferrell began to shave his beard and moustache, but not very well. He admitted he had only shaved dogs prior to this.

"That's horrible!" Conan exclaimed after looking in a mirror at his patchy facial hair. Then he took a hit of the blue stuff, and all was right with the world.

Lady Gaga says Rebecca Black is a genius. We're not sure about that, but she sure is ... something. The poster child for an entirely new genre of music, perhaps.

Black's hit song did not become a hit because it's good. HECK no. It only has tens of millions of views because it's just too perplexing/amazing not to share.

On the day before the now-celebrated weekly holiday that made Black famous, Conan O'Brien one-ups the Internet phenom with a terrific parody of "Friday."

It's called ... wait for it ... "Thursday." Watch after the jump:

Justin Bieber continued his media blitz last night, promoting "Never Say Never" on Conan and Chelsea Lately.

During the former stop, Bieber touched on a number of subjects, ranging from his hair to his favorite candy to his impression of Barack Obama. Yes, Justin Bieber did an impression of President Obama. How can you not watch this clip?!?

Justin Bieber on Conan

Over on E!, meanwhile, Bieber talked to Handler about his Grammy loss to Esperanza Spalding ("I’m not gonna lie. People are expecting me to say something else, but I’m disappointed.") and Lady Gaga's unusual event entrance (“People say it’s artistic and stuff, and I’m, like, ‘You’re an egg.’”).

Watch below.

After months of anticipations, Conan O'Brien brought his unique hair and comedic style to TBS last night. Among the highlights on the debut of Conan:

• Monologue jokes that included shots at NBC - "I'm going to be honest: It's not easy doing a late-night show on a channel without a lot of money and that viewers have trouble finding. So that's why I left NBC." - and even his new employer:

"This is an exciting night. I'm glad to be on cable - truth is, I've dreamed of being a talk show host on basic cable ever since I was 46... And things are going well already. I'm happy to report that we're already number-one in TBS's key demographic: people who can't afford HBO."

• A new set that featured a full moon and an ocean view, the former of which Conan could move around with a remote control.
• Seth Rogen as a guest, talking about proposing to a topless Lauren Miller and joking that he placed the ring on her nipple.
• Lea Michele as another guest, saying of her scandalous GQ pictorial: "We were just having fun."

Did you watch the premiere of Conan? What did you think?

In November, Conan O'Brien will return to late night with a talk show on TBS.

For now, though, he's continuing to go across the country with his Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour.

It stopped in Radio City Music Hall last night, and audience members were treated to the funniest dance-off since Step Up 2: The Streets. Who did O'Brien go up against? The Comedy Central duo of Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart.

When all was said and done, one man lay dying on the floor, while another asked for his time slot...

Comedian Dance-Off

It's been a good couple weeks for Conan O'Brien:

He's landed on his funny feet at TBS, and he's been named the second most influential artist on the planet.

This Sunday on 60 Minutes, meanwhile, the comedian will speak in depth for the first time on the decision by NBC to toss him aside as host of The Tonight Show and replace him with Jay Leno, who was all too happy to take back the gig.

Would Conan have done the same thing in Jay's place?

"He went and took that show back, and I think in a similar situation, if roles had been reversed, I know - I know me, I wouldn't have done that," O’Brien says. "If I had surrendered The Tonight Show and handed it over to somebody publicly and wished them well - and then... six months later. But that's me. Everyone's got their own way of doing things."

A classy individual, as evidenced by this statement he released in the middle of the late-night mess, Conan continued to emphasize that he could only speak for himself, refusing to completely lay into Leno.

As for why he left NBC, O'Brien remembers thinking "this relationship is going be toxic and maybe we just need to go our separate ways.

"That's really how it felt to me... and I started to feel that I'm not sure these people even really want me here ... I can't do it [anymore]."

While we appreciate how mature and professional Conan has been throughout this ordeal, we're also glad David Letterman is around - to basically be the exact opposite.