Charlie Sheen

Yes, Charlie Sheen will be killed off Two and a Half Men when that CBS sitcom kicks off season nine on Monday. But the actor himself remains alive. Somehow.

Still, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane has penned an obituary for the actor and he read it aloud during this weekend's taping of the Comedy Central Roast that will honor/tear apart the warlock of a star and air on the same night as the aforementioned premiere.

Check out the "tribute" below and then read through some of the best jokes from the special.

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Jeff Ross, Mike Tyson... Kate Walsh?

An unusual group of celebrities gathered last night for the taping of the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen. Who delivered the best jokes? How did Sheen react? Below, check out the highlights of a broadcast that will air on September 19...

Amy Schumer: “You’re just like Bruce Willis - you were big in the 80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.”

Jeff Ross: “Brooke Mueller is not very bright unless Charlie throws a lamp at her... Mike Tyson, your opponents spent more time bleeding in the corner than Charlie’s ex wives.”

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Charlie Sheen is headed back to the small screen and the big screen.

On September 19, the mostly insane actor will be roasted by Comedy Central, as participants who will slam the star include Slash, William Shatner, Kate Walsh, Jon Lovitz, Patrice O'Neal and Amy Schumer.

Now, Variety also reports that Sheen has signed on for a role in A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charlie Swan III, an independent film directed by Roman Coppola and co-starring Jason Schwartzman.

The movie focuses on a graphic designer who has also succeeded with the opposite sex. But his latest girlfriend will break up with him, sending the player into a downward spiral. We wonder from where Sheen will find the inspiration for this character.

Charlie Sheen turns 46 years old today. Feel free to send the actor birthday wishes if you so desire.

The troubled star has actually been relatively quiet over the past few months. He hasn't dished out any warlock wisdom since his tour of North America bombed this spring.

Instead, Sheen has actually been trying to make amends. Things have never been better between Charlie and ex-wife Brooke Mueller, as they actually jetted off to Mexico last month, and he's reportedly booked a return to the small screen via Anger Management.

It's been quite the journey with Charlie over the past years. Relive it below via a photo montage.

Charlie Sheen is currently on vacation with ex-wife Brooke Mueller. When he returns home, the actor will be greeted by a new neighbor:

Ex-wife Denise Richards!

TMZ reports that Richards is moving into the home Sheen purchased earlier this year from movie mogul Mike Medavoy. It's located within the same gated community as the former Two and a Half Men star, a mere six houses away.

Why would Denise do such a thing? It's not complicated: for the sake of the former couple's two daughters.

Sheen is allegedly also hoping to move Mueller and his twin boys into a similar-located residence, all apparently part of his changed persona. Or his desire for nearby threesomes.

What do you think of Richards moving into this neighborhood? A good idea?

Comedy Central has released the first official trailer for its upcoming roast of Charlie Sheen.

The special will be hosted by Seth MacFarlane and air on September 19, the same night Two and a Half Men premieres season nine. Earlier today, the network released a spot, titled "Dr. StrangeSheen," which is a takeoff on the film Dr. Strangelove.

Check it out now and help us figure out: where will the show possibly get material with which to mock Sheen?

Charlie Sheen Roast Promo

Will you tune in for this roast?

Look, can't a sort of insane TV star go on vacation with his drug-addicted ex-wife and suck on some bananas without people jumping to conclusions?!?

With Charlie Sheen having taken Brooke Mueller down to Mexico for a few days, rumors are now circulating that this former couple is giving it another shot. But the actor insists there is nothing to the trip aside from friendship.

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller, circa 2007. Might happy days be here again for the pair?

"We're good friends trying to be great parents," Sheen told reporters over the weekend. "[We're] working on mending the bridges, replanting scorched earth. The goal is harmony."

Okay, who is this sane, reasonable family man? And, seriously, what has he done with Charlie Sheen?!?

[Photo: WENN.com]

Perhaps Charlie Sheen really is a changed man.

The actor has touched down with ex-wife Brooke Mueller in Mexico, telling TMZ the trip is actually a reward for the troubled mother of his twins because she's been "busting her ass with the boys, and [she's] more sober and healthy than I've ever seen her."

Sheen has made it his goal to get Brooke on a proper path, paying for her treatment with a team of doctors he trusts. It's amazing how far these two have come.

It was only February, according to court documents, when Sheen lamented the fact that he didn't kill Muller during their infamous, dangerous fight on Christmas Day 2009. Glad to see they're getting along now!

With the exception of dodging some flying objects over the weekend, Charlie Sheen has remained relatively quiet over the last few weeks.

Heck, he's even made peace with Brooke Mueller.

It may be confusing to those of us used to the actor's Warlock ways, but Emilio Estevez says his brother is "a completely different guy." This time for good, supposedly.

Speaking to Access Hollywood, Estevez says Sheen has his "voice back." The former Young Guns star credits a couple projects in the works for helping Charlie regain his "focus."

"He’s on a new show [Anger Management] and he’s gonna be roasted by Comedy Central – which I think is going to be hysterical," Estevez says. “I think that he’s really got it together. And he’s very excited about the crew of the show he’s putting together.”

[Photos: WENN.com]

Charlie Sheen has seen it all. Takes A LOT to faze the guy.

Not only did the actor/crazy man survive the Gathering of the Juggalos this weekend, he had the crowd on its feet, even as it hurled insults and objects at him.

The audience erupted as Sheen, not even losing his train of thought, started catching the flying cans and bottles airmailed at his face with his bare hands.

The former Two and a Half Men star, who will soon be killed by a train on the sitcom, even had the crowd cheering his name and "Winning!" on command:

Charlie Sheen At The Gathering Of The Juggalos

Typically, having objects hurled at you in the first place means your act isn't "winning," as Sheen learned in Detroit. But at the Gathering, it's standard.

The annual festival put on by Psychopathic Records features performances by the label and its artists as well as other groups and underground acts.

To call it a wild scene would be an understatement, as most of the acts and fans are pretty hard core. Sort of similar to Sheen's house earlier this year.