Charlie Sheen

Celebrity quotes often makes us laugh, or cringe or wanna find the nearest rope to tie around the neck of Spencer Pratt.

However, the following words - uttered by Charlie Sheen to Denise Richards in a series of voice mails he allegedly left his insane, pathetic ex-wife - take the inappropriate, ridiculous, racist cake.

On tapes that mysteriously just popped up all over the Internet, Sheen went off on Richards:

I hope I never f-cking talk to you again you f-cking c-nt. F-ck you. You're a coward and a liar and a f-cking n-gger alright, so f-ck you.

We have numerous reactions to this rant:

• Sheen likes f-cking more than Lindsay Lohan;
• The sheer stupidity of saying such things on a voice mail almost trumps what was actually said;
• Which do you think was the bigger insult to black people: The use of the N word, or the implication that Denise Richards is African-American?

Overall, as we've rightfully depicted Richards as an attention whore of an awful mother over the last few weeks, we've forgotten that Charlie Sheen is no Beaver Cleaver himself. The prostitute and pornography lover appears to be a racist moron.

Make a run for it, Brooke Mueller.

Will the third marriage be the charm for Charlie Sheen? The troubled actor certainly hopes so, as he walked down the aisle with Brooke Mueller last week.

The couple has landed on the cover of OK! magazine as a result. Here's a bit of what Sheen had to say in the publication's interview:

How difficult was it hearing the comments your ex-wife Denise Richards made in the media on the eve of your wedding? I'm so tired of talking about her and all her shenanigans. It is what it is. I don't even care anymore. I'm going to take a stand to basically never utter her name publicly again, and I think if that's known, it will put an end to some of the drama.

How does it feel to be married? It feels great. We were so excited when we got home we couldn't go to sleep. [There was] a lot of adrenaline and excitement.

Suck on this, Denise Richards!

As ex-wife Denise Richards exploits her children for fame and fortune, Charlie Sheen says he and his new bride are planning to have kids themselves.

"It's just not happening as we speak," Sheen said of rumors that Brooke Mueller was already knocked up, insinuating that kids are part of the plan for these newlyweds.

And just how many little ones will this couple churn out?

"Hopefully triplets!" said Mueller. "Could you imagine if I really had triplets? He'd be like, 'Whoa!'"

Considering the past indiscretions of Sheen - which include high-priced call girls and a rumored addiction to pornography - we'd all be like "Whoa!" if the world was faced with three more of his offspring.

Overcoming numerous obstacles in their relationship - such as a rumored porn addiction for one half of the couple and the constant premise of awful human being Denise Richards throughout - Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen walked down the aisle together yesterday.

The pair got married at a private estate in Los Angeles, as a source on the scene said "they're well matched and incredibly happy."

Brooke Mueller is now Mrs. Charlie Sheen. Good luck with that, honey.

Mueller and Sheen exchanged vows in front of about 60 close friends and family. Among those in attendance were Grey's Anatomy star Eric Dane and wife Rebecca Gayheart, who first introduced the couple in 2006.

"Brooke really wanted to walk down the aisle in a big way, but Charlie insisted they keep it simple and small," an insider told People.

Gold-digging, man-eating skank media whore or misunderstood mom just trying to get by? Since her ugly split with Charlie Sheen, it's been complicated for Denise Richards - but whose side are you on? That's the subject of today's Face-Off ...

TEAM CHARLIE SHEEN OR TEAM DENISE RICHARDS?

TEAM DENISE RICHARDS by mischalova

Charlie Sheen may come across as a lovable, humorous fellow because he stars in a hit sitcom and has appeared in hilarious movies such as Hot Shots!

But there's nothing funny about the way he treated Denise Richards during their time as a couple. He allegedly viewed child porn, slept with prostitutes and hated on dogs.

Yet, somehow, Richards is the one receiving flak simply for starring in a reality show. Excuse me? Can you blame the woman for wanting to set the record straight?

This is a single, working mother that recently sent her ex-husband a text message, inquiring about his attendance at an event at daughter Sam's school. His response?

"I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer... Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore."

Richards, meanwhile, has been accused of exploiting her kids by giving them air time on her upcoming reality show, It's Complicated. But history shows that reality TV actually helps the careers of children. Just ask Brooke Hogan or Kim Kardashian.

Just as she did by participating in a filmed threesome for the movie Wild Things, Richards is doing everything she can to ensure the best possible future for her daughters. Sheen? He's trying to replace their mother with Brooke Mueller.

That's why we take exception to the title of Richards' reality show. Nothing about this is complicated. Team Denise all the way.

Continue Reading...

As Denise Richards gets set to premiere her vomit-inducing reality show this summer, titled "It's Complicated," ex-husband Charlie Sheen is making simple plans for his wedding.

"No ties at my wedding," Sheen recently said of his plans to have a casual May 30 wedding ceremony with Brooke Mueller. "It's going to be hot. I want people to be comfortable."

If that's the case, everyone at the nuptials should keep quiet about the charges that Sheen is addicted to porn.

Charlie Sheen recently told Extra he can't wait to have kids with fiancee Brooke Mueller. There's just some other, well, stuff, that has to be worked out first.

"We're just dealing with what's in front of us right now and getting through all this crap, getting back to our regularly scheduled life," Sheen said. "Then dealing with getting married and having our own family, which is exciting."

The crap Sheen is referring to, of course, centers around ex-wife Denise Richards.

To say divorce proceedings between these two aren't going well is akin to saying Jessica Biel naked pictures are only slightly attractive.

But Sheen is keeping a sense of humor about the ordeal.

"You know they say this type of stuff builds character and all that and what doesn't kill us makes us bitter, I mean stronger."

The Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards divorce case is uglier than Courtney Love.

Emails Sheen sent to his ex-wife - and others - after their marriage was long over were leaked to entertainment news outlets and, well, we can't do them justice.

So here's a simple, point-by-point summary of them:

• The actor wrote: "Go cry to your bald mom, you [bleep]ing loser." Richards' mother is currently receiving chemotherapy for kidney cancer.

• There were approximately 30 pictures of Sheen in an aroused state that the star allegedly emailed to women (and, according to Richards' assertion, underage boys) he met online.

• In regard to Richards' parenting skills, Sheen wrote: "You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and evil and a bad mom, so go [expletive] yourself, you sad jobless pig."

We wish we could at least give the actor credit for originality - or a diverse vocabulary - but Jayden James could probably come up with more creative insults than these.

All we have to say is: Best of luck, Brooke Mueller.

Cat fight alert!

Charlie Sheen's fiancee is not sitting back and letting Charlie Sheen's ex-wife tear the actor to pieces. We wonder how Charlie Sheen's former prostitute friends feel about this.

Regardless, Brooke Mueller has come out in support of her soon-to-be husband, bashing Denise Richards for her recent claims, which included saying the new couple announced its engagement purely to make celebrity news headlines.

"It's a shame that Denise conveniently edited my e-mail correspondence to serve her own interests," Mueller said to People magazine. "She would be both mortified and embarrassed if I released any one of her 40 e-mails to me. But she knows my character and humanity and knows that I would ever do such a thing."

Mueller denounces Richards' accusation of Sheen's "inappropriate behavior ... and conduct" including "his attraction to underage women and his sexual explicitness on the Internet, including revealing his private parts."

"Denise's claims are laughable at best," said Brooke. "How would she know? She hasn't lived with Charlie for over two years. But this is a battle we will fight in court, not in the press."

Even if Sheen is guilty of a bit of Web surfing, who among us isn't? And is there really anything so bad about checking out Megan Fox nude online?

The actress is far from unattractive.

Put the women and children to bed before reading about the latest court filings in the Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen divorce case.

The actress recently asked for full custody of the pair's daughters. On what basis? Well, according to documents Perez Hilton has posted...

- Richards claims that Sheen still exhibits "inappropriate behavior… and conduct," including "his attraction to underage women and his sexual explicitness on the Internet, including revealing his private parts." In other words: look out, Hayden Panettiere.

- She alleges that her children don't enjoy their time with their father and don't want to spend the night at his house.

- What about Sheen's new fiancée, Brooke Mueller? Richards takes exception to the way the two handled their engagement, claiming the kids first heard of the father's plans to marry another woman via a TV interview. In the filing, Richards claims Sheen and Mueller told her they "did it for the press… he wanted to get the cover of People and Us magazine."

- The filing also includes a declaration from Richards' childcare provider, Diana Alvarez, she says she has witnessed Sheen hit the family dogs, while claiming the couple's daughter has told her Sheen has threatened to hit her.

Alvarez also alleges Sheen "yells… and routinely curses" in front of the children, and "completely ignores" the youngest daughter, Lola.

Which sounds fortunate for her. Better to be ignored than the victim of a Michael Vick-like attack.