by Hilton Hater at

Who would have thought that the strangest thing about Charlie Sheen's life would NOT involve drugs or prostitution... but car theft?!?

For the second time in four months, the actor has had his car stolen and driven off a cliff.

In February, authorities found Sheen's SUV off Mulholland Drive. He later admitted that he left the keys in the ignition and no suspects were ever apprehended for the crime.

Now, THE SAME THING HAS SOMEHOW HAPPENED AGAIN. According to a spokesperson for the Los Angeles Police Department, Sheen once again left his keys inside his Mercedes, which was parked in his driveway... which is located inside a gated community.

Charlie Sheen: A moron, a scheming individual or both?

Police alerted the actor to the car's disappearance around 3 a.m. this morning. They then located it on the side of the road in Beverly Hills, less than a mile from where the original incident took place.

Sources say the cops are referring to this situation as "suspicious," while one officer told Us Weekly:

"The investigation is ongoing. It's impounded for [finger] printing."

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by Hilton Hater at

Charlie Sheen allegedly held a knife to the throat of his wife last year.

Yet it's the public that has so far been punished for this act.

We've been forced to continually hear about this star, including the hefty raise he received from CBS to resign with Two and a Half Men.

The drama was scheduled to end yesterday, as Sheen appeared in court and all reports indicated he has reached a plea deal that would send him to jail for 30 days - but the agreement "hit a snag," sources say, and Sheen's sentencing has been pushed back until July 12.

"The prosecution discovered that Sheen does not qualify for work release because he is not a local resident. He does qualify for useful public service, which has stricter rules, which Sheen nixed," said an insider.

As pictured, Sheen appeared court in sunglasses, a dark suit and tie.

When TMZ asked if he was content with the plea bargain, he said: "I guess. "As [happy] as I can be."

We have an idea for the prosecution: instead of any jail time, Sheen should be forced to watch reruns of his abysmal sitcom on an endless loop for a month. That will scare him straight.

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by Hilton Hater at

We have an update on Charlie Sheen's plea bargain case - and the punishment for his alleged abuse of Brooke Mueller late last year continues to get lighter and lighter.

On Monday, the actor is expected to submit his plea and his proposal to the judge. It will include a request for a work release program, which means Sheen would be free to leave jail between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m.

Where will he go? TMZ reports the Two and a Half Men star will work at a professional theater in Aspen, serving as an acting coach, assisting with fundraisers and performing whatever tasks are asked of him.

He won't receive a salary, which should be rough on Sheen: he'll have to get by on the measly $2 million per episode CBS will pay him this fall. Poor, poor guy.

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by Hilton Hater at

According to multiple sources, there's no longer any question over whether or not Charlie Sheen will spend time in jail for his Christmas Day assault against wife Brooke Mueller.

The troubled actor is most definitely headed to the slammer. Sheen is prepared to agree to a plea bargain that will include approximately 30 days behind bars.

"Charlie intends to go to court on June 7 [to] plead to a misdemeanor and immediately begin serving his 30 days in jail," said an insider. "With good behavior, he could end up doing 15 or so days."

Let's all hope Charlie Sheen gets up close and personal with fellow inmates in a very different way this month.

Incredibly, Sheen had the option of avoiding prison and accepting probation - but he actually deemed probation too risky, which is basically a case of the star admitting that he can't remain out of trouble.

The actor will go to Aspen next Monday, enter a no-contest plea to third degree assault and have his felony menacing charge dropped.

In the end, for allegedly holding a knife to the throat of Mueller, Sheen will receive a pay raise from CBS and spend about two weeks in jail.

Ain't justice grand for celebrities?

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by Free Britney at

Charlie Sheen is preparing to plead guilty to a misdemeanor charge stemming from his Christmas assault on wife Brooke Mueller - but will he go to jail?

As part of a plea deal with the Colorado District Attorney's office, Charlie may be facing as many as 45 days in the slammer in Aspen's Pitkin County Jail.

Charlie Sheen 20/20 Interview

In exchange for Sheen's plea, a felony menacing charge will be dropped.

Sheen's next court appearance is set for June 7, where his plea deal can be entered and his trial in the case (currently set for July 21) therefor canceled.

As for what his punishment will be, sources connected with the case say the D.A. in Aspen and Charlie's lawyers have hammered out four scenarios ...

Charlie Sheen's assault on Brooke Mueller will result in a legal reprimand next week. But the actor is reportedly unsure which of the below scenarios he is willing to accept.

  1. Charlie pleads guilty to a misdemeanor and serve 30 days in jail. He enters the plea June 7 and immediately begins serving time. With good behavior, it could truncate to 17 days. After that stint, the case is closed. No probation.
  2. Charlie pleads guilty to a misdemeanor and receives no jail time, but is placed on two years probation. Sounds great, but if the star slips up, the judge could throw the book at him and he could be facing far more than 30 days in jail.
  3. Charlie receives "deferred prosecution," i.e. the case will not go forward but the Two and a Half Men star must agree to various conditions, like not breaking the law. After a certain period of compliance, the matter would be expunged.
  4. Go to trial. Sheen is reportedly upset at the Tito Ortiz case, in which the UFC star was not prosecuted, even after allegations similar to those made against Sheen. This would be a huge roll of the dice, because losing ensures jail time.

It's all in his hands at this point, so stay tuned.

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by Hilton Hater at

It's always nice to see an alleged wife beater, liar and drug user rewarded with millions of dollars, isn't it?

Following a series of contract negotiations, Charlie Sheen and CBS have reached a new deal that will keep the trouble actor on Two and a Half Men for at least two more seasons. Thank goodness, too. What would we have done without this incredibly lame sitcom otherwise?

Such a Winner

“To put a fitting end on the two and one-half months of whirlwind speculation, I’m looking forward to returning to my CBS home on Monday nights,” Sheen said in a statement.

The terms of the contract have not been disclosed, but rumors state Sheen may make as much as $1.3 million per episode.

As for the charges that he assaulted (soon-to-be-ex) wife Brooke Mueller in December, sources say a plea bargain is on the table that would have Sheen serving 45 days in Aspen's Pitkin County Jail.

There's just one hold-up, Us Weekly claims: The actor's lawyer has been asking local law enforcement to make an exception to the jail's no-smoking policy. We're not making that up.

Multiple insiders confirm the Aspen County District Attorney has offered Sheen a deal that would place him behind bars for six weeks. In exchange, prosecutors would drop the felony charge in return for a misdemeanor guilty plea.

However, Sheen's legal team wants to limit the amount of probation/parole so that if the stars gets in trouble again, he won't end up in jail for a lot longer.

Sorry, that should read WHEN the star gets in trouble again.

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by Hilton Hater at

Every new report about Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson says the same thing: these two are totally dating.

Conversely, each update about Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen states the opposite: their marriage has less of a chance to survive than Sawyer on Lost.

So Sheen

Here's the latest: Brooke Mueller has moved out. She's settled into a home in the Los Feliz area of Los Angeles, as a family sources confirms she and Sheen are "done."

That's what happens when one half of a couple takes a knife the other half's throat and then cheats on her with a lingerie model.

The house in which Mueller and her sons now reside is owned by her, her mother and a business partner. Mueller lived there before making the biggest mistake of her life marrying Sheen.

Of course, Booke's lawyer, Yale Galanter, still insists "there is no divorce that is planned for by either party."

But expect the papers to be drawn up and signed as soon as Sheen reaches a plea bargain in his Colorado assault case. Let's hope it includes jail time.

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by Hilton Hater at

Charlie Sheen has a lot to deal with these days: legal issues stemming from a confrontation with Brooke Mueller on Christmas Day; a possible divorce; the outing of his affair with Angelina Tracy.

The last thing the actor has any time for is the raising of a family.

Apparently Sheen actually agrees with that statement, as TMZ reports he willfully surrendered legal custody of the two children he had with Denise Richards, Sam and Lola.

Richards is now free to pimp them out for photo ops every day of every week.

Two and a Half Men Promo Picture

Sheen has been paying $50,000 a month in child support to Richards since the couple's divorce, a figure that will not change with this new custody arrangement. Previously, Sam and Lola had split time between their parents.

Meanwhile, according to Brooke Mueller's prenup with the trouble sitcom star, she'll get $55,000 a month in child support - NOT including medical and schooling expenses - if she divorces Sheen.

For his bank account's sake, it's a good thing Sheen will likely sign a new contract with CBS that pays him $1.3 million per episode of Two and a Half Men.

That's 1.3 million more laughs than the show delivers on a weekly basis.

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by Hilton Hater at

Angelina Tracy continues to insist that she isn't banging Charlie Sheen, but that hasn't stopped Brooke Mueller from packing up and leaving.

According to Radar Online, insiders and reps may claim the couple is “evaluating things," but that's mere PR (and BS). In reality, Charlie and Brooke have officially split, now that a financial arrangement has been reached.

Charlie Sheen in Chicago

With a payout from Sheen to Mueller in its final stages, Brooke will walk away with a substantial amount of cash, “but not a fortune” a friend said, adding:

“It’s not everything she wanted. It’s not even close. But it’s enough.”

Heck, an iTunes gift card should be enough to leave Sheen. Trust us, Brooke, you and your children will be better off, even if it does mean fewer drug-induced threesomes for you.

The divorce announcement will not be made until Sheen has reached a plea bargain in his Colorado court case. But make no mistake, this source says:

"It’s over and the hardest part has been worked out: the money."

** UPDATE: The couple has released the following statement: ”Please let us clarify this: They are not seeking a divorce nor has one been contemplated. There has been no financial agreements between the parties of any sort. Stories to the contrary are false.”

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by Hilton Hater at

Following the report that Charlie Sheen has shacked up with Angelina Tracy, this alleged mistress is speaking out.

A couple weeks ago, she denied accusations that referenced her as a "paid escort," and now she tells Radar Online that rumors of her living with Sheen are equally false.

“I am not Charlie Sheen's mistress," Tracy said. "We are just friends and we are definitely not living together."

Hmmm... but could you be friends with benefits?!?

In mid-April, a tabloid caught Sheen sneaking out of his rehab facility, donning a disguise and visiting Tracy's apartment. Since then, both Angelina and Sheen's rep have said the actor was simply helping a fellow addict through a difficult time.

Sources say Brooke Mueller is sick of Charlie cheating on her and will soon file for divorce. But Tracy sort of denies playing any role in this development.

"I am living alone in my own apartment," she said, failing to directly address whether or not she receives visits there from a certain prostitute-loving, knife-wielding sitcom star.

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