Charlie Sheen

We have more details about Charlie Sheen and the incident this morning involving him, a trashed NYC hotel room and a naked call girl locked in the bathroom.

As previously reported, authorities found the actor passed out in his bed at the Plaza around 2 a.m. Sources say he went to his room with a prostitute, could not find his wallet and went off on the escort, tossing around furniture and scaring her to the point where she barricaded herself in a bathroom and called the cops.

Sheen's rep has hilariously claimed his client simply had an allergic reaction, but an insider that allegedly spoke to the hooker in question says she and Sheen were high on cocaine at the time of the incident.

"The prostitute says Charlie was using cocaine,” a source told Radar Online. "She said after he did the coke, he flipped out, couldn’t find his wallet and accused her of stealing it.”

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Brooke Mueller might need to rethink how "great" things are with Charlie Sheen.

In the latest bizarre, alcohol-fueled incident involving the actor, Sheen was found this morning in a New York City hotel room, passed out and half-naked on the bed, while a woman who identified herself as an escort was heard screaming from the closet.

"She was fearing for her life and was naked," a source tells Life & Style. "Charlie was incoherent but started screaming slurs at the cops. They recognized him immediately and gave him two options: they could take him to the hospital or take him down to the station. Charlie chose the hospital."

Raise your hand if you don't deserve to see the outside of a jail cell for many months...

Another insider confirms that "police responded to a call for an intoxicated male" inside The Plaza Hotel around 2 a.m. They arrived to find a trashed room, which included damage to a chandelier and furniture, along with the scene described above.

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What's a bit of knife-wielding and a few death threats between soulmates?

Despite police records confirming that Charlie Sheen held a blade to his wife's throat in December, Brooke Mueller told OK! this week that everything between her and the actor is fine. It's actually better than fine.

“We are great. We’re great,” Mueller replied when asked about the relationship. “The babies are fantastic. They are 100 percent healthy. And they are wonderful.”

How does Mueller keep herself relaxed and positive when faced with struggles such as watching her husband crack awful jokes on Two and a Half Men?

“Mediation, yoga, hiking and good friends," she said. "And a good mother!"

Charlie Sheen knows how difficult it is to keep his ass out of an orange jumpsuit fight one's partner addiction problems under intense public scrutiny.

As such, he's offering advice to the rehabbing Lindsay Lohan.

“I think that she is doing the best that she can,” Charlie told Access Hollywood of the oft-jailed train wreck, adding that “It is not easy to begin with, but when you put her under the bright lights of this circus, it makes it that much more difficult.”

Chuck to Lindsay: Fight on! Blame fame!

The man behind so many borderline funny Two and a Half Men quotes feels its really important that the public and media give Lindsay some space to recover.

“People just need to leave her alone and let her do her thing,” the actor said, offering his full support. “And, you know, at the end of the day she’ll win.”

Will she, though? You tell us if she can stay clean ...

When you see those photos, it changes everything. You see the pictures, you get it. You really get it.

So said Valerie McFarlane to E! News this week. The arresting officer on the night Charlie Sheen allegedly assaulted wife Brooke Mueller, she was fired from her job for parlaying this inside knowledge into favors from a reporter.

But McFarlane has gone on record about the incident because she wants the public to understand just how much of a monster Sheen truly is. Or to garner more headlines and attention, the actor's lawyer says in response.

Says Yale Galanter, in the worst defense of a client we've ever heard: "America should just enjoy watching Two and a Half Men and let it go."

Seriously, dude, who has ever enjoyed watching Two and a Half Men?!?

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Charlie Sheen turns 45 years old today.

Sadly, that number does not also reflect the number of days this actor was forced to spend behind bars for his December 2009 confrontation with wife Brooke Mueller.

Despite numerous reports that said Sheen held a knife to Mueller's throat and threw her around like a rag doll, Sheen got off with a month in rehab... and a raise from CBS to remain a member of the Two and a Half Men cast!

Therefore, instead of asking readers to send in their birthday wishes, let's change it up: submit your best Sheen insult to THG today and don't hold back. Really let this loser have it!

Last week, Charlie Sheen was sentenced to 30 days in rehab for his infamous Christmas Day fight with Brooke Mueller. But it's clear this actor belongs behind bars.

According to a newly-released police report, the December 2009 attack - in which Sheen allegedly held a knife to his wife's throat - wasn't the first time these two got into it physically. Both Sheen and Mueller confirmed to officers on the scene that day that Brooke had suffered head trauma during an incident a couple months earlier.

The two sides disagree on whether that injury was inflicted intentionally, however.

Wrote Officer Rick Magnuson: "I asked [Sheen] if he ever harmed Mueller in the past. [Sheen] stated that approximately two months ago, in California, Mueller accused him of sleeping with prostitutes. [Sheen] stated that he denied this allegation, which escalated into a 'huge fight.' He added that when Mueller attempted to leave the argument, he grabbed her by the wrist, causing her to fall to the ground."

The Two and a Half Men star acknowledges Mueller sought medical treatment at the time, but claims he was acting to simply restrain his wife when the accident occurred.

But Brooke told a different story.

When Magnuson questioned Mueller about the fall 2009 fight, she got "upset," he wrote in his report, adding that neither side contacted authorities to report this altercation. "She was very adamant that [Sheen] intentionally hurt her by throwing her to the ground, like a 'rag doll.'”

What does the band Train have to do with any of this?

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The Charlie Sheen saga is about to come to an end, and sources connected to the case say a plea deal is almost done that will ensure he does not do time.

How did he swing such a sweet arrangement when just a few months ago, he was looking at at least 30 days behind bars, then a work-release program?

Somewhere, Lindsay Lohan wishes she hired Yale Galanter.

Yale, Charlie's lawyer, is hammering out a deal with prosecutors in which two options are still on the table, but neither includes jail time or much probation.

The judicial system at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.

SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM: Charlie will stay a free man.

It gets better for Sheen. He'll plead to a misdemeanor, not a felony, and we'll get our fill of Two and a Half Men quotes - his work schedule won't be effected!

Charlie is en route to Aspen, Colo., where the incident with Brooke Mueller occurred. He and Galanter will meet with prosecutors before going to court.

If they cannot strike a deal, both sides will ask for a trial date, and likely continue to work behind the scenes to agree on terms that prevent the trial.

One thing's for sure: Galanter, who also reps Mueller, has worked some serious wizardry to orchestrate such a deal for Charlie if this comes to fruition.

** UPDATE: It's confirmed that Sheen will only spend time in rehab and domestic violence counseling. What a crock.

Brooke Mueller is headed back to rehab. Or, as her rep puts it: "Brooke [will be] receiving professional help in the area of stress management."

The goal is to ensure that Mueller does not succomb to the pressures of drinking again and we wish her the best of luck in this endeavor. We also hope she divorces Charlie Sheen and takes this trouble loser for everything he's worth.

Along those lines, TMZ has uncovered 43 pages worth of documents that detail what will take place if Sheen and Mueller go down this path. It doesn't mean they have filed for divorce (yet), but it does mean the following has been agreed upon if they do...

• Joint custody: Sheen will get the couple's kids on the first, third and fifth weekends of every month.
• Child support: Mueller will receive $55,000/month. In a hilarious addendum, the contract reads: "Under no circumstances shall the child support paid by Charlie for Bob and Max be less than the child support paid by Charlie to Denise Richards for Sam and Lola."
• Cash money: Brooke will receive a lump sum of $757,689.70 upon the divorce being finalized.
• Home, expensive home: Sheen will keep the couple's primary residence as long as he buys Brooke out for $1 million.
• Shhhh: Brooke cannot "disclose to any media sources personal information relating to Charlie's sexual affairs or alleged drug usage." 

The papers cite "irreconcilable differences" as the basis for the couple's split.

But that's only because there's no box Mueller can check off that reads "my husband is an abusive, cheating bastard who has somehow escaped the kind of public scrutiny reserved for Tiger Woods."

Who would have thought that the strangest thing about Charlie Sheen's life would NOT involve drugs or prostitution... but car theft?!?

For the second time in four months, the actor has had his car stolen and driven off a cliff.

In February, authorities found Sheen's SUV off Mulholland Drive. He later admitted that he left the keys in the ignition and no suspects were ever apprehended for the crime.

Now, THE SAME THING HAS SOMEHOW HAPPENED AGAIN. According to a spokesperson for the Los Angeles Police Department, Sheen once again left his keys inside his Mercedes, which was parked in his driveway... which is located inside a gated community.

Charlie Sheen: A moron, a scheming individual or both?

Police alerted the actor to the car's disappearance around 3 a.m. this morning. They then located it on the side of the road in Beverly Hills, less than a mile from where the original incident took place.

Sources say the cops are referring to this situation as "suspicious," while one officer told Us Weekly:

"The investigation is ongoing. It's impounded for [finger] printing."