by Free Britney at . Comments

The terrible twos have arrived on Teen Mom.

For our favorite young reality moms who try their best despite adversity (and Amber Portwood, for that matter), it's a difficult period for raising children.

How will Maci respond to the added burden placed on her shoulders by Ryan? Should Gary be under investigation himself? Why did Farrah get a dog?

Let's break down last night's episode, THG style!

Maci and Bentley Pic

Ryan and his parents keep talking about going to court and legally getting custody of Bentley. These peeps really need to quit stirring up drama. Minus 7.

Yes, Kyle living with Maci has to be awkward for Ryan, but wouldn't you want a nice, stable, employed guy around your kid? Just asking. Plus 4 for Kyle.

Ryan's mom says Bentley shouldn't have "random men" coming in and out of his life. Minus 6 for apparently ignoring the randomness of her own son.

Plus 5, too, because Bentley and Kyle are soooo sweet together.

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Halloween has arrived on Teen Mom. Tricks, treats and drama abound.

Our favorite young reality moms (and Amber Portwood) were all about pumpkins, costumes and such this week. But who came home with candy, and who received proverbial rocks in their sacks (a la Charlie Brown)?

Let's break down last night's episode, THG style!

Leah and Gary

Despite being jailed for domestic battery, etc., and being a total loose cannon, at least Amber's dedication to Leah can never be disputed. Oh, wait. Minus 9.

She said she hadn't seen Leah (living with Gary Shirley) because she can't drive, yet she clearly gets around fine whenever she chooses to. WTH? Minus 6.

Neither Amber or Gary go trick-or-treating with Leah. Minus 3.

The picture above, we have to admit, is quite sweet. Plus 5.

Amber's paying $644 a month for that place? Plus 4 for getting a good deal. Minus 4 for where she'll be living rent-free on Indiana taxpayers' dime soon.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Life is stressful for the Teen Mom cast. They need calming influences.

Barney is not getting it done, let's just put that out there right now.

Granted, Farrah Abraham was going through some serious stuff and might have found the purple dinosaur particularly annoying at that moment, but the girl was clearly looking for more from her mother as well.

Let's break down that and the rest of last night's episode, THG style!

Farrah and Sophia Photo

As Farrah was en route to court to confront Sophia's paternal grandmother, her mom tried to relay a cute story about Barney. It didn't go well. Minus 5.

"You and your damn Barney talk, Mom," Farrah says, frazzled. "Why do I want to talk about a Barney? That doesn't calm me down." Indeed. Plus 3.

The case was dismissed! Plus 10 for Farrah, but Minus 6 for MTV, which now has to cook up another quasi-fake narrative for young Ms. Abraham.

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Teen Mom lovers/parents/step-siblings Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra have been evicted from their apartment in Marine City, Michigan.

The reason? Not paying rent. That'll do it.

The 19-year-olds, who gave their daughter Carly up for adoption, signed the lease last August. The big move was even featured on Teen Mom.

Catelynn and Tyler

Ah, the wonderment of their own place ... it didn't last long.

But, according to court documents, they stopped paying rent in December, so their landlord gave them an eviction notice and took them to court.

It didn't turn out well for the pair. Catelynn and Tyler forfeited their $450 security deposit, paid an additional $450 in back rent and moved out.

No word on where Catelynn and Tyler plan to live next. Just hope they don't decide to bring on Jenelle Evans as a roommate. Talk about a mess!

by Free Britney at . Comments

This week's episode of Teen Mom taught us to expect the unexpected.

Ryan Edwards didn't give us much to criticize at all, while Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra were thrust into the role of taking care of their parent.

Farrah Abraham and Amber Portwood, meanwhile, were doing battle to protect their daughters from bad influences - and at times from themselves.

How'd it score in our system? Let's break down last night, THG style!

Tyler and Butch

Butch is out of prison and ready to get his "freak on." Just what you want to hear if you're the teenage son. Minus 7, but Plus 2 for that unreal mullet.

By committing battery against wife April, Butch has a restraining order against him. That's not about to stop April from picking him up from jail. Minus 3.

Plus 9 for Tyler's maturity, intervening when the situation called for it, and enduring Butch's taunts about Carly's adoption. And the stench. Had to be bad.

Also showing maturity last night? Ryan Edwards. Plus 8, because you could just sense that a nasty exchange with Kyle King was coming. Not the case.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

With their heartbreaking decision to give baby Carly up for adoption, Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra became the exception to the Teen Mom rule.

Also unique to the show? Them staying together through thick and thin.

Catelynn credits good communication for their long-lasting relationship. Of course, the step-siblings consider themselves soulmates, too. That helps.

Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra

Despite the statistics against them remaining together after being teen parents, Catelynn and Tyler seem have a relatively normal, stable relationship.

Maybe Gary Shirley and Amber Portwood should take some notes here.

"We’re just so open with each other and we tell each other how we feel. When Tyler and I get mad we don’t really fight, we sit down and talk about it and say how we feel, really communicating and listening to each other," Lowell says.

"It’s weird, but I always say I found my soulmate at such a young age.”

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Three of the four Teen Mom stars moved in with their significant others on last night's episode. The lone exception, Farrah Abraham, lost hers years ago.

Of course, while Amber Portwood deals with that boob Gary Shirley, Farrah is focused instead on her new boobs and modeling career, not relationships.

Let's break down last night's episode, THG style!

The Fair Farrah

On good terms this second, Amber and Gary move into a house. He's got a job doing "in-home health care." And apparently raiding people's kitchens. Plus 7.

No sooner does he proclaim "It's gonna be great," than a step in the house literally collapses under the weight of the moment. And Gary. Amazing. Plus 14.

His excuse: "pressed wood, ain't my fault." That's what they all say. Minus 2.

Before long, the squabbling begins, with Gary telling Amber, "Watch your mouth before I take Leah from ya." Producers? Fist-pumping. DCFS? Cringing. Wash.

Amber's brother, with whom they were supposed to meet up, warns, "It's gonna come back and bite you in the ass one day." More like every day. Minus 8.

Five words: Gary Shirley. Shirtless. Water park. Minus 12.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Having children while basically still children themselves can be tough going, but Amber Portwood, Maci Bookout, Catelynn Lowell and Farrah Abraham are taking life one day at a time and making the best of their situations.

The (sometimes) fabulous foursome is back for a new season of Teen Mom on MTV. Let's break down last night's third season premiere, THG style:

Farrah and Sophia Picture

Farrah Abraham is working hard! She's in culinary school, waitressing and modeling to make ends meet. No plug for the most anticipated book of the year, though? Golden opportunity wasted there. Minus 3.

"Being a good mother is a full-time job too," she adds. Yes. Plus 5.

Not sure what's more ridiculous, the fact that Farrah claims she's getting plastic surgery on her chest "for her daughter's future," or the fact that she wrote "Here for Boobs" on a medical form. We'll call it Even.

Farrah wants a "C you can see." Plus 4, we begrudgingly admit, because she is a model and this may help her support her kid, but Minus 8 for MTV now glamorizing plastic surgery and glorifying teen pregnancy.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

After showcasing a new crew in season two, MTV is reuniting the original cast of Teen Mom for the third season of the reality show, premiering July 5.

Catelynn Lowell, Farrah Abraham, Maci Bookout and Amber Portwood (if she stays out of jail) will all return next month for "their toughest year yet."

Battle For the Twins!

Custody battles, 911 calls, fist fights, shouting matches and, of course, the joy and pain of raising kids they didn't plan for - that's life for these four.

Sure as Amber and Gary Shirley will break up twice between now and then, THG will be reporting on the absurdity and life lessons as they unfold.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The stars of MTV's Teen Mom are basically a case study in why people should think before becoming parents. It's not all it's cracked up to be, is it?

At the very least, there are pitfalls as well as joys. Most of the ladies know this all too well, with family feuds and even arrest records to prove it.

But through it all, they do their best. Well, mostly. Jenelle is a mess.

So, THG ponders, which Teen Mom star is actually the BEST mom, fighting through adversity and shining bright? Let's break down the candidates:

Teen Montage

Amber Portwood: Leah's mom must stand trial for felony neglect of a dependent and domestic battery. She was also in a recent nude photo scandal.

Catelynn Lowell: She gave up her baby for adoption, but she and her boyfriend / stepbrother still have a relationship with the child and its parents.

Chelsea Houska: Chelsea's devoted dad provides for his Aubree's every need. Chelsea herself? Mmmyeah not so much. Three letters, girl. GED.

Farrah Abraham: Despite adversity - losing Sophia's father in a car crash, feuds with his family and her own mom - Farrah goes hard. Respect.

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Catelynn Lowell Biography

Catelynn Picture Catelynn Lowell is an original cast member on Teen Mom. She and her fiance, Tyler Baltierra, gave up their baby in 2009 for adoption.... More »
Full Name
Catelynn Lowell
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