by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey came up with "Zen Things I Hate About You." Just how long will this retreat last? We recap the zen and broken glass in our THG +/- review.

Melissa's Birthday Surprise

How long has this group been in Arizona?

Honestly, if I had paid big bucks to stay at this spa and had to put up with Richie and the double Joes by the pool I'd be pretty ticked off. Minus 15.

But that's nothing compared to watching Joe Gorga suck on his wife's toes for her birthday.

Minus 30. I'm not sure which was more disturbing, that or having Teresa Giudice give Melissa Gorga black lace peace sign panties for her birthday.

I doubt any amount of meditation will wipe that from my mind.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

Leave it to The Real Housewives of New Jersey to turn a "Horse Whisper to a Scream." 

Read on as we break down who among the women embraced their vulnerable side and who ended up looking like a horse's a$$ in THG's official +/- recap!

Not the Horse Whisperer

Jersey is still in the house at the Mirval Resort and Spa and it may never be the same again.

But psychic advisors and gong therapy aren't what Melissa envisioned for her birthday.  "I'm done. I want a f**king cocktail by the pool in a bikini." Plus 15. No one can say she's not a girl who knows what she want.

Everyone's still recovering from the ghost whisperer when they all head out to see a horse whisperer.  Funny thing is, Wyatt the equine therapist reads these Jersey housewives and their hubbies like the comic book characters they are. Plus 22.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey head to Arizona with their "Spaghetti Western & Meatballs" indulge in not one…but two cleansing rituals.

Check out all of the dirt in THG's official +/- review.

Go Ahead, Touch It.

Teresa Guidice is riding high. Everything's going well. Cook books, Milania Haircare. Criminal charges…oops. She conveniently forgot that one. Minus 15.

But you know something's wrong when your 12 year old has to edit your fashion sense.

Shouldn't it be the mom putting a ban on skimpy bathing suits, not the other way around?

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

This week on The Real Housewives on New Jersey, we were shown a "Hair-Binger of Doom" as a six year old gets her own professional hair care line.

Yup, anything can happen in Jersey and we recap it all in our THG +/- review.

Pass the Hookah

I've lost count of the amount of products Teresa Guidice has out there but this one might just top the list. Now she's got a professional hair care line…and she's named it after her six year old.

Minus 20.  First off, I've never much liked Teresa's hair.  Second, don't you think her other kids might be a little ticked off that Milania's getting all the attention? Way to play favorites there Mom.

And is little Milania angling for her own show? Plus 8 because her parading around in a padded bra was disturbingly funny as was telling Tre to take her name off the product if she couldn't come to the launch party.

In reality it's just another Housewives money making scheme and with all the Guidice legal issues I'm sure their lawyers will take every penny they can get.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey heads back to the Teresa and Jacqueline summit as the "Children of the Scorned" try to patch up their friendship.

We recap the tattered remains in THG's +/- review.

The Real '80s

After last week where Teresa Giudice called Jacqueline evil and Jac shot back with calling Tre a sociopath, I was expecting more from this summit meaning.

Minus 15 because instead of a cat fight it was a giant snooze fest. I don't think anyone really owned up to anything from the past, they just decided to move on.  How long will it be before it all falls apart once again?

The worst part was having to hear Joe Guidice talk about autism once again.

Minus 12 because the ignorant meter was  spiking off the charts. But then again, if we kept Joe to speaking about subjects he actually understood, it wouldn't give him much air time.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey had half the cast trying to be "Best Frenemies Forever" but how long will the tenuous truce last?

We call out who's a dirty dog and who can't handle basic grammar in THG's +/- review.

The hour begins with Melissa Gorga heading out to her husband's construction site to drop off some papers. As the mud gets on her designer boots shy whines, "Is it always this dirty here?"

Melissa Gorga Continues To Sing

Minus 15. It's a construction site! I'm guessing she doesn't visit much… and I hope that equipment Joe Gorga had her driving was adequately insured because it looked as though someone was going to get hurt.

Joe's all hyped up about his photo shoot for a Sizzle Tan billboard. What makes him qualified? "I am perfect."  Minus 18. No lack of ego here.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are "On Thin Guid-Ice" as the retreat continues. We recap the drunken hugs and apologies in our THG +/- review.

Dr. V score some points as she quickly reduces Joe Gorga and Teresa Guidice to sobbing puddles. Plus 12. That didn't take long at all.

Hug It Out

But I wouldn't expect tearful hugs from everyone.

The good doctor marches back downstairs for her next victim and assures them all that she's not murdering anyone upstairs.  I don't think some in that crowd would have a problem if she were.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey gives us "Scum One, Scum All" as the team builders run for cover. We recap all the therapy and mysterious black tar in our THG +/- review.

We pick up right where we left off with Joe Gorga calling sister Teresa Giudice scum. Minus 20. That really was out of line.


Sexy Time

Then Tre runs out to Juicy Joe who storms in looking for a fight but before he gets halfway there, Gorga charges him like a bull in a pasture.

Minus 30 because I can't tell what there's more of in that room, testosterone or stupidity.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

Ugly fights are a standard on The Real Housewives of New Jersey but "When Joes Collide" might just deliver the knock out punch. We recap why everyone should just retreat in our THG +/- review.

The Gorgas, Giudices, and Wakiles head to upstate New York for a team building / conflict resolution retreat. What could possibly go wrong?

On Her Knees


Yes folks, that's a joke, because this thing never even stood a chance. But let's start with who bailed before it even got started.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey found Melissa Gorga unknowingly "Drinking With the Enemy". We recap the liars, cheaters, and so-called friends in our THG +/- review

It all starts out innocent enough. Kathy's cooking in her test kitchen and Rosie's recounting how she had to pull her cartilage back into place after her meeting with Teresa.

Minus 10. Did we really need to hear about that?

Crazy Train to Jersey



Then Rosie shares Teresa's idea of a retreat between the Guidices and Gorgas and invites the others along.  

Continue Reading...