by Mischalova at . Comments

Brace yourself, reality TV fans.

Hulk Hogan was recently asked about his scary daughter, Brooke Hogan. Will she continue her singing career? Here is the Hulkster's reply:

Photo of Brooke Hogan

She's singing. She auditioned for "Dancing With the Stars" yesterday. I think she may have her own extension of "Hogan Knows Best."

Please tell us those shows will at least bar Hogan from wearing chaps.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Glenn Packard is best known for dating Brooke Hogan. With that on his resume, we're a bit taken aback by how highly the choreographer regards himself.

Check out this photo of Packard. It's taken from his MySpace page and makes it seem like this guy has more of an ego than Spencer Pratt and Kanye West combined:

Brooke H.

Glenn Packard is attracted to Brooke Hogan nude and can walk on water. We're not sure which amazes us more.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Brooke Hogan is one of our favorite celebrities to mock.

When you wear chaps in public, sing worse than Heidi Montag and sell a whopping 127,000 copies of your debut CD, you're basically asking for perpetual ridicule.

But we'll give Brooke a break for the time being, considering the difficult times her family is facing. Nick Hogan might go to jail. Linda Hogan is filing for divorce. And Hulk Hogan hasn't been a WWE champion in years.

It's hard to blame a girl and her giant boobs for wanting to sun bathe the pain away...

Brooke Hogan Bikini

by Mischalova at . Comments

Brooke Hogan fakes being a quality singer every time she takes the stage. But does the daughter of wrestling legend Hulk Hogan also fake the possession of natural breasts?

The following photos appear to make a strong case for such an accusation. Brooke used to have a chest that was smaller than the chances of Britney Spears actually be sorry for whaling on paparazzi with an umbrella.

Brooke Hogan, Shopping

Now, though? Well, Victoria Beckham and her giant boobs have nothing to worry about - but Hogan is definitely packing some new cleavage. 

At least Kellie Pickler, who has also been rumored to have undergone a breast enhancement, can actually carry a tune. But combine Brooke's fake boobs with her phony career as an artist and we're left to wonder which is faker:

Professional wrestling or anything related to Brooke Hogan?

It's the same thing we often ask ourselves about Heidi Montag and her chest: Are the new large boobs as fake as her smile whenever celebrity gossip photographers are around her and Spencer Pratt?

We may never know.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Come on, Brooke Hogan.

We know you can't sing - and therefore must try to sell your looks - but does that mean you need to keep scaring little children? Put on some clothing, for Hulk's sake!

Brooke Hogan Album Cover

Unlike Lucy Pinder, Amanda Beard, or almost every other famous female, you don't have the body to pull off chaps, Brooke. Or any sort of revealing clothing.

Just look at other giants. You don't see that Jolly Green guy wearing any halter tops, do you?

 

The bottom line, Brooke, is that you need to either get off the stage or follow the path of Katie Price nude: when you have no talent, just take all your clothes off and leave it at that.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Pop quiz time, readers of The Hollywood Gossip. Which is scarier:

Unfortunately for concert-goers below, they were faced with both these disasters. If you thought Kim Kardashian and her huge ass were frightening, well, you were right. But these pics are a close second:

Brooke H.

Yikes.

Despite often wearing the same outfit as Hulk Hogan's daughter, Audrina Patridge would most likely avoid this ugly western look. So would any celebrity with two working eyes.

We suppose fans in attendance should at least be thankful that Brooke didn't go all Akon on them and body slam anybody to the ground. But it appears as though this behemoth could do so if she wanted to, doesn't it?

In the end, we'd prefer to be Cynthia Rodriguez walking around Boston than anyone stuck listening to, and looking at, this train wreck.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Brooke Hogan is scary enough when she towers over fellow artists, such as Fergie.

But at least the daughter of Hulk Hogan is clothed in that instance.

Brooke Hogan, Birthday Party

We wish this were the case in the photos below. Sadly, however, it looks like Brooke was attempting to cover up for her lack of talent by not covering up her somewhat manly body. And let's just say Holly Madison nude doesn't need to worry about her spot as a Playboy cover girl being stolen by Hogan any time soon. 

Poor Brooke really can't get it right. She's either dressing like Audrina Patridge - or not dressing at all.

Even Britney Spears could give this terrible singer some fashion tips.

by Mischalova at . Comments

One is a giant.

The other is part of giant-sized wealth on MTV's The Hills.

Brooke Hogan Crotch Shot

But does that mean Brooke Hogan has nothing at all in common with Audrina Patridge? Of course not.

Both are famous despite having no distinct talent. And both appear to shop at the same boutique. We're not sure what Heidi Montag would say about this.

But we're positive that Brody Jenner would date either of these women - or just the purple dresses worn below - if it meant more television exposure.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Yup, Brooke Hogan is still a giant.

No, not in the music world. Don't be ridiculous. Hulk's daughter carries a note about as well as Britney Spears carries herself in public.

Confused Brooke

But when it comes to towering over fellow artists such as Fergie, no one can touch Brooke. Literally. She's just too tall.

Pictures such as this beg the question of which is scarier: Brooke standing up straight or a direct glance into the face of the new and far from improved Jessica Simpson?

As readers weigh that key issue, we're gonna go feel better about the world by staring at Tricia Helfer photos.