Brooke Hogan

Brooke Hogan really hates her mother. And for good reason.

Earlier this week, Linda Hogan went on record about her daughter's breast implants and boyfriend boning.

But there's something the musically-challenged young singer despises even more than her mom: red apples.

In a video that rivals Pittbull's pummeling of a fan, we'll let Brooke explain:

Red Apple Hater

Look, Brooke Hogan, we're trying to be on your side. Especially when it comes to your immature, insane, self-absored mother.

But it's like you're asking to be insulted with the cover for your upcoming album, "Redemption."

If your goal was to differentiate yourself from your father's girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, then we guess you succeeded. But, seriously, who thought this was a good idea?

Are you buying Brooke Hogan as a size zero angel? Neither are we.

We're really sorry, Dina Lohan.

For years, we've labeled you as the Worst Mother in the World. But you may need to pimp out your daughters and toot your own supposedly hard-working horn a lot louder in order to overtake Linda Hogan now.

Last week, daughter Brooke Hogan accused her mother of doing drugs, while also taking her to task yet again for dating 19-year old Charlie Hill.

In response, Linda (hiding behind representative Gary Smith) has written a statement to Perez Hilton in which she accuses her own child of:

• Having fake breasts;
• "Banging the crap" out of boyfriend Stack$ for three years;
• And scarcely selling any albums.

Linda also says ex-husband Hulk Hogan is "no different" from OJ Simpson and that young Charlie is really good at diving into a swimming pool.

Linda Hogan has set the awful mothering bar incredibly high. Will anyone be able to raise it?

You've gotta read this hilarious, rambling, grammatically-reprehensible statement to believe it:

If Brooke continues to spew lies on behalf of her father's lame attempt to distance himself from the reality that he is no different from the homicidal OJ Simpson, Charlie will be forced to put aside his paramedic/firefighting career path and release an album called "Redemption" which will easily surpass any of Brooke's records sales.

If it is her claim that her breasts are natural or she hasn't been banging the crap out of the pot head $tack for the last 3 years, then her comments of Charlie being a year and a half younger than her are again a complete fabrication (they are 4 months apart).

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Just a few days ago, we defended Brooke Hogan's curvy body.

It was refreshing to hear a celebrity talk about looking healthy, as opposed to anorexic.

Still, we're a long way from defending Brooke's music career... though the following video at least made us laugh out loud for a solid 90 seconds.

Watch Hogan profoundly sing about how she's "Falling" for a man in the video below. We're pretty sure she's looking down at the off-screen lyrics a couple times...

Brooke Hogan, Falling

Let the record show: we have no problem with Brooke Hogan's body.

We've just often take issue with the ridiculous outfits she puts over that body.

In a new interview with OK!, Brooke actually has a refreshing take on her figure. She wants to look healthy, not anorexic. Amen, sister!

How do you feel about your current weight?
I feel great at this weight, but I’ve started sticking to a diet again. I’m trying hard to get down even more. You need to keep to the old-school bodybuilder diet of eggs, fish, chicken, meat and broccoli. I want to always look healthy, not anorexic.

Do you feel comfortable in a bikini?
I do. I love my body. Thick or not, I’m firm. I don’t have cellulite. I’m happy with how I am. People should know, I’m only doing the diet for the entertainment business. It’s not really what you’re supposed to look like in real life.

How rational-sounding of Hogan. Now, if she could just stop looking like her father's girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, she'd be fine!

Click on the pics above to enlarge images of Brooke Hogan.

It's time to play everyone's favorite game:

Distinguish the Girlfriend from the Daughter!

In this edition, the contestants are posing for photos at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas, as Brooke Hogan felt the need to celebrate her 21st birthday there this week.

Below, she's the one on the right, kissing Hulk Hogan's cheek as... wait, no. Is she the one on the left, also kissing Hulk's cheek?

This is what makes Distinguish the Girlfriend from the Daughter! such a challenging contest to play. Hogan's decision to date Jennifer McDaniel, a woman that so closely resembles his daughter, shows how shred of a competitor he can be.

Forget totally understanding O.J. Simpson, it looks like Hulk totally understands the incestuous lifestyle.

We're happy Brooke Hogan can drink legally now and all, but here's a thought:

When your son has been jailed for reckless driving, after sending a friend to the hospital; when a reality TV show has contributed to your divorce; and when you're wife is dating a 19-year old and demanding ridiculous amounts of money, perhaps such a public celebration for your daughter - in Las Vegas, no less - isn't the best idea.

Life advice aside, there are more pics of Hogan, McDaniel and Brooke below. Click on each to see if you can tell Hulk's girlfriend and his daughter apart...

Pop quiz, celebrity gossip followers: Stack$ is...

A) ... the identity of Brooke Hogan's new boyfriend;

B) ... the number of phone books she'd need to stand on in order to be face-to-face with said boyfriend;

C) .. the nickname given to rapper Yannique Barker by fellow artist Brisco, due to the former's "ill" songwriting skills and multi-dimensional personality.

The answer, of course, is: D. All of the above!

Brooke recently took her diminutive new boy toy for a stroll around Miami Beach. (He's the tiny dude on the left; squint hard and you should be able to see him.)

Look out, Stack$, an ogre in a bikini is about to gnaw off... oh, nevermind, that's just Brooke Hogan.

We know this isn't exactly breaking news, but photos from the other day make it necessary to bring it up again. Hulk Hogan has some serious issues.

The Hulk and his girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, showed up at Calle Ocho 2009 to support his daughter Brooke Hogan, who was working the stripper pole, er, performing at the Miami music festival. It was a concert for the ages.

The odd thing - aside from people paying money to listen to Brooke Hogan - was Jennifer choosing to style herself exactly like her boyfriend's daughter.

Check out the pics below. That's Jen on the right, in case there's confusion.

Brooke Hogan and Jennifer McDaniel are essentially identical twins, separated only by botox, booty shorts and tramp stamps. But that isn't their fault.

One has to wonder about a guy who seeks to get in the pants of chicks half is age AND who could be confused with his own daughter. Just sayin'.

Click to enlarge more photos of Hulk and his favorite pair of tall, young, blonde, not-too-attractive babes, from this recent concert and in the past:

[Photo Credits: Splash News Online]

Strip clubs, by and large, are both overpriced and overrated.

Brooke Hogan pretending to be a stripper in concert? Tenfold.

Seriously. Britney Spears can pull it off with her soft-core Circus tour. Brooke Hogan is neither talented nor hot. But alas, no one has told Brooke Hogan this.

With father Hulk Hogan in the audience (he must be so proud), Brooke said she was enthusiastic about her first concert of the year. Anything for attention:

Click to enlarge many more "super sexy pictures" of Brooke Hogan performing at the Latin festival "Calle Ocho" in Miami, featuring her dancing and flipping around on a stripper pole and "looking very seductive," according to reports ....

[Photo Credits: Splash News Online]

Brooke Hogan and her two most saggy friends went for a walk in Miami earlier this week.

After years of poor wardrobe decisions, Brooke has finally figured it out:

Giant boobs attract attention. This isn't rocket science...

Ready to compare this Brooke Hogan fashion choice with a few of her most memorable? Click on the images below to be taken back to the days of high pants, ass chaps and more...