Brody Jenner

The second episode of The Hills' final season focused on nasty rumors and the b!tch who started them. Yes, we know that applies to pretty much every episode.

Lauren Conrad's non-sex tape and Speidi's involvement in spreading that story took up multiple seasons. Is Kristin Cavallari's "drug problem" the new version?

Last night's episode, "Rumor Has It," found her singling out Stephanie as the rumor culprit. Below, THG breaks down the action using our patented +/- scale:

Kristin on Stephanie Pratt and why she'd start rumors: "Because she's crazy, she's a pathological liar, she has nothing going on in her life." All true. Plus 15.

Stacie the Bartender is still around. Does Kristin not have any girlfriends the network didn't create for her? Is Stacie the Bartender her full name? Minus 4.

Brody Jenner: "[Steph] made up these rumors because she is a crazy person. With her past drug addiction, maybe she's mirroring herself." Deep. Plus 7.

Cocaine. It's what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Stephanie and Lo read about Kristin's drug use from gossip tabloids and thus think "she is definitely doing drugs," which is hilarious on many levels. Minus 3.

Kristin throws a party to "get to the bottom of this." Or because MTV told her too. Plus 2, because amazingly, the whole cast will be there, including Speidi!

Minus 9 for the lines fed to Brody about Ryan Cabrera and the fake conflict over Audrina. Metrosexual cracks are cliched, and why the eff would Brody care?

LOL, Ryan does look kind of d-bag-ish, however, so Plus 3.

Heidi Montag is, like, excited to debut her new body. Her fam didn't love her new look, but friends think she looks great. Psst ... they're getting paid. Plus 7.

What is Lo even doing on the show at this point? Minus 4.

Stephanie starts to make small talk with Spencer Pratt, but gets so choked up and starts to cry. Spencer berates her. How awesomely dysfunctional. Plus 5.

Comment rendered unnecessary.

Dismayed by family issues, Spencer is carrying around crystals to channel his anger and bring life "peace and balance." What a ridiculous human being. Plus 12.

Kristin says she really doesn't want to be friends with Stephanie because she just likes to create drama. That and 100 other reasons make sense to us. Plus 3.

Nice to see Charlie adopting the Justin-Bobby look. Minus 6.

What's more fake, any dialogue featuring Stephanie and Kristin or Heidi Montag's ginormous, hilarious fake boobs? No points, just throwing that out there.

TOTAL: +30. SEASON: +40. This was The Hills at its best and worst, all at the same time. So much contrived, but entertaining nonsense to go around.

Click to enlarge more pics from the episode ...

Brody Jenner and Ryan Cabrera "have had some issues in the past."

Or at least since The Hills writers decided to rewrite history, anyway.

Frankie Delgado and Brody Jenner, in a completely unstaged preview from tomorrow's episode, can be seen gossiping about Ryan and whether Brody will try to hit it with Audrina Patridge when the crew all meets at an upcoming party.

While he doesn't go into much detail about said issues, Brody and Frankie do attempt to trash talk Cabrera, but their jokes are as off as his jumpshot.

"It's cool that they're together and stuff because they have a lot in common," Jenner says. "They can borrow each other's jeans ... hair gel." Clank.

A Brody Jenner love triangle is brewing. Does anyone care?

Audrina Patridge and Ryan Cabrera have been together for a few months now ... and we know he's hooked up with her in the past, but watching Brody pretend to care so much about their relationship just comes off as awkward here.

Come on, Hills writers. Can't you feed these guys some better lines? Please try, or just leave the trash talk to Kristin Cavallari, she's the only one with the versatility and track record to do it convincingly week in and week out.

Follow the jump for a sneak preview clip from Tuesday's show...

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If you love The Hills, last night's premiere (Season 6, Episode 1) was a doozy. If you're so over The Hills by now, this episode is probably a classic example of why.

"Put on a Happy Face" featured Heidi Montag's family trying to do just that ... staring at her face and the rest of her body after 139 unnecessary plastic surgeries.

The Hills final season debut should have come with a "Warning: Disturbing Images" disclaimer. Below, THG breaks down the action using our patented +/- scale:

They should show a close-up shot of Heidi Montag's fake boobs in their hilarious glory as The Hills title card. Although those things are more like a mountain range.

Is it just us or are all of these chicks skinnier, meaner and more annoying than ever? Did MTV unveil new protocol for these mean girl anorexic fembots? Minus 9.

Lo is a full-time cast member at last! Plus 4!

Kristin Cavallari can't believe she's accused of drug use ... despite staying out until 8 a.m. and looking like a stick figure. Minus 5. Where would they get that idea?

A face only a mother could love... and even she has a hard time.

Let's run down Heidi Montag's plastic surgery in her own words: "I got a slight eyebrow lift and that's why I got these staples in my head. I had my nose redone, I had my own fat injected into my cheeks. I had my ears pinned back. I had injections into my lips. I had my chin shaved down. I had my breast redone, and my back shaped... and I had a little bit of inner and outer lipo." No points, we just had to.

Heidi's mother Darlene reacts honestly to her daughter's absurd plastic surgeries, asking "why [she] would want to look like Barbie?" Our thoughts exactly. Plus 18.

After Heidi Montag prods further, Darlene says looked "younger and fresher-looking" before. Minus 6, 'cause Heidi would so cry if her face weren't frozen in place.

Kristin is, like, mad that Brody Jenner is flirting with Audrina Patridge. We love Brody, but why keep recycling the same three guys as fake love interests? Minus 7.

Hard partying Kristin denies she's got a problem.

Wearing sunglasses indoors doesn't make you look cool, Kristin. Minus 4.

Nice of Stephanie to make it out of rehab in time for filming. Plus 3.

Heidi tells her fam they "live in the mountains and wouldn't understand." LOL, as if Crested Butte, Colo., were some backwards, classless, hillbilly dump. Plus 11.

This isn't related, but Spencer Pratt is reportedly on the outs with the show after he refused to start a physical fight with Holly Montag. Yes, Spencer Pratt. Plus 5.

TOTAL: +10. The "reality" of The Hills is always debated, but it more or less on display last night, and we know this because we cover the cast's actual lives daily.

We much prefer episodes like this, whatever the annoyances, to absurd, contrived plot lines such as Speidi's baby argument or Kristin and Justin Bobby "dating."

Click to enlarge more pics from the episode ...

The Hills returns tonight for its final season ... most likely. It could be extended a bit. Regardless, here's a look back at some moments that defined its first five:

FORGET PARIS: In the first season finale, Lauren Conrad made a brutal mistake that would haunt her for two more years, choosing to spend the summer with tool Jason Wahler over accompanying Teen Vogue editor Lisa Love to Paris.

Fortunately, Whitney Port stepped in and fast-tracked her fashion career. Not that LC is hurting for cash, or boyfriends. Kyle Howard's a big upgrade over J-Wahl.

FALLING DOWN: As a Teen Vogue intern, Whitney endeared herself to millions after what could have been her worst moment, falling on stage after Vogue tapped her to model Hilary Swank's Oscar gown on Good Morning America.

The way she composed herself and handled the embarrassment with grace and dignity only impressed the higher-ups more, though (sorry to rehash this, Whit).

Two prominent former loves of Lauren Conrad.

THE LC SEX TAPE: It did not exist, but boy, did it spark a lot of celebrity gossip. Spencer Pratt (and in turn, THG) got so much mileage out of this twisted rumor.

BABY MAMA DRAMA: More than once, Heidi Montag has effed with Spencer regarding pregnancy. All a big hoax to watch him squirm? We're all for it even if so.

KISSING BRODY J: Everybody does it at some point, but Lauren and he had such chemistry. Still, despite the Las Vegas birthday hookup, Brody Jenner and Conrad determined they work better as friends, which they've remained since.

THE TRANSFORMATION OF HEIDI MONTAG'S FACE: Enough said, and ongoing.

WORSE THAN HEIDI: LC accused Audrina Patridge of insinuating she hooked up with Justin-Bobby - and that Audzo is worse than Heidi Montag as a result.

A shot from Heidi and Spencer's wedding - the non-staged version.

CAREER EVOLUTION: The show began with a focus on young women and careers in L.A., then became about quasi-celebs whose careers were being on The Hills.

THE WEDDING: Heidi and Spencer's wedding had something old, new, borrowed and even blue ... the dresses worn by both Lauren Conrad and her old nemesis, Kristin Cavallari, who replaced her as the star of the show. Cold, MTV. Cold.

F*%KING PIRANHAS: Kristin didn't wait long to stir up trouble, calling out Audrina and Stephanie Pratt and declaring "you f*%ked with the WRONG girl."

GROSS LOVE TRIANGLE: On a list of things we didn't need to spend a full season watching, Kristin and Audrina fighting over Justin-Bobby would be tops.

Much like Rihanna dating Matt Kemp, THG could have already told you Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne were dating with a fair amount of certainty.

But like the aforementioned pair, Bravril is now been confirmed as a couple beyond any doubt, having been seen out, about, and kissing this week.

Best of all?

The singer, who announced she was divorcing Deryck Whibley only last fall, is still on good terms with him even while romancing The Hills hunk.

They all hit the town together Thursday night, although Deryck wasn't there when Brody and Avril did this. That would've just been awkward:

LIP SERVICE: Brody and Avril lock in. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Deryck joined Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne at Drai's at the W Hotel in Hollywood, where the unexpected trio shared a VIP table and friendly conversation.

"They were all hanging out together and left together in the same car," a source says. "They later went to Mel's diner after for a late night snack, too."

"Brody and Deryck were getting along well. It looks like they've become friends." Fortunately for the lovebirds, "Deryck left before Avril and Brody."

Give it up for amicable splits and new romances!

Four girls moved to LA ... We watched them grow ... We watched them live and love ... Nothing stays the same forever ... But no one saw THIS coming!

The last season of The Hills, which begins later this month, is being hyped by the MTV tagline above. The journey is coming to an end ... but it's not over until its over.

So we're told. A three-minute trailer has been released, taking us through what we've seen in five seasons to date and previewing the beginning of the end (April 27).

First, there's a mini-retrospective on the show, which images of Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag. Aww. They were so cute. One of them still is, and is recognizable!

Lauren and Heidi in a bygone, plastic surgery-free era.

The Hills used to be a fun guilty pleasure, but after LC rode off into the sunset prior to last season, the entire dynamic changed, with Kristin Cavallari in the mix.

This coming season, the show's last, promises even more contrived nonsense than before. Just a few of the story lines (sorry, real life events) teased in the trailer:

• Mom Darlene staring in disbelief at Heidi Montag's plastic surgery
• Spencer Pratt losing his $h!t at his sister ... and at Heidi's sister
• Kristin being confronted about her alleged drug use/partying
• Audrina Patridge dating Ryan Cabrera
• Brody Jenner dating ... everyone

Follow the jump to see The Hills' final season trailer in all its glory ...

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Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner might not be a standard Hollywood coupe you might expect to materialize, but that's the rumor going around this week!

According to E! News, the singer/rocker and The Hills star/club goer have been seeing each other, quietly, over the course of the last couple of weeks.

"They're hooking up," an insider said, "but are keeping it low-key."

Not so low-key that they haven't been seen in public, however. The pair, who both became single recently, were first spotted at Koi on February 4.

According to a restaurant source, the "Sk8ter Boi" songstress and reality TV Casanova left together in the same car and continued on to club Voyeur.

Has Brody Jenner been clandestinely hollering at Avril Lavigne?

This wasn't a one-shot deal either. Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner were last seen out again on Thursday, back at Voyeur, where they partied all night.

"You can tell they're into each other and both like to have a good time," another source says of the rumored couple. "They really are cute together."

Brody just split from insane Playmate girlfriend Jayde Nicole late last year, while Lavigne filed for divorce from Sum 41's Deryck Whibley last October.

What do you think? Is Brody Jenner a good romantic match for Avril Lavigne and vice versa? Or can you not see them as a couple at all?

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt dissed The Hills earlier this year.

"The show is, like, so lame and fake," the heiress famously said in May, while denying ever having watched it. "They make up relationships that are not there."

"[Doug] thinks it's lame...he just thought it was cheesy."

Cut to last week, when Hilton and her bad baseball player met up for a holiday dinner with Hills star Brody Jenner and his BFF Frankie Delgado at Nobu.

Paris lets Doug out of his cage for an evening out.

That's a little ironic. "Paris brought a couple of girlfriends with her, who she giggled and chatted with throughout dinner," an eyewitness there tells E! News.

On the PDA front, Doug had it covered: "Even as Doug was busy bonding with his boys, it didn't stop him from being touchy-feely and affectionate with Paris."

No word on whether the newly single Jenner exchanged numbers with any of the girls, but he was probably very psyched to resume his bromance with Doug.

Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole just split. But it's a bro he misses most.

According to reports, Brody is more upset about his "breakup" with former best friend Doug Reinhardt than his Playmate of the Year girlfriend of nearly 15 months.

Last night, Brody was at Guys & Dolls in W. Hollywood with a new girl on his arm, but looked sad when he didn’t interact with his former pal, who was also there.

“Brody arrived at 11:15 with two guy friends,” a witness at Guys & Dolls said. “He was joined less than 30 minutes later by a blonde, very attractive woman.”

“She was with him most of the night. It was clear this wasn’t their first meeting,” the source said, but Brody, who endured a similar falling out with former BFF Spencer Pratt, had (platonic) eyes for someone else entirely: Doug Reinhardt.

Brody Jenner with Doug Reinhardt back in the good ol' days.

Doug, along with his notorious girlfriend Paris Hilton, had their own table and were joined by about 10 friends - none of whom was The Hills star - witnesses say.

“Doug did not speak to Brody, and you could see Brody was distracted by Doug being there," reports a spy. "He seemed very sad that they weren’t speaking.”

“Everyone stayed until close ... Brody left hand-in-hand with the blond.”

Well, that's good at least.

Brody Jenner recently said he hasn’t seen much of his baseball bud since Doug reconciled with the ho-tel heiress/socialite and insists their friendship is over.

“We used to be best friends, now I never see him. Some people just get so involved in relationships they lose their friends," he lamented. "Partners come and go, but friends are there for you always. I’m done. Paris has taken him away.”

The Hills' Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole have broken up, according to a source close to Brody. He and the Playboy model were together for over a year.

Of course, the two had supposedly split on The Hills season finale, but it looks like that was totally staged ... or maybe just elaborate foreshadowing.

Jayde hinted at the split on Twitter: "Sometimes when you truly love someone you have to let them go. I never understood that quote until now."

Deep.

Just the same, Nicole reportedly "celebrated her breakup" with a 12-strong crew of girlfriends at Hyde Lounge in West Hollywood Friday night.

The following night, Jayde hosted a party at Chicago's Manor nightclub, where she was "telling everyone" about her breakup with Brody Jenner.

According to a source: "She made it sound like it was his doing, saying, 'He said he needs time to 'find himself. I don't have time for that.'"

Jayde Nicole and Brody Jenner had a good (argument-filled) run.

Brody, she said, has "gone to Australia" for some soul-searching. And by that he means girls. Nice, stable girls who won't yell at him 24/7.

Jenner himself Tweeted: "So I decided to stay in Australia BY MYSELF!!! Hahaha this is Crazy ... Might just stay here and start a new life."

Wow, she really did a number on this guy.

Guess not even seeing Jayde Nicole nude can make up for all the emotional torture she inflicts. It can only carry you so far in a relationship.

On the just-concluded season of The Hills, Nicole and Jenner argued about his flirty relationship with aggressive ex-girlfriend Kristin Cavallari.

"Everything was totally fine before you came here, so you need to go back to wherever it is that you came from," Nicole sniped at Cavallari.

All three are signed on to shoot Season Six next year.