Britney Spears

No, this isn't an old story. She ran over someone else now.

Law enforcement sources report that the LAPD is conducting an investigation into a traffic mishap occurring Friday, in which the incomparable Britney Spears allegedly ran over an L.A. County Sheriff deputy's foot.

TMZ reports that a "traffic collision complaint" was filed by the Sheriff's Department and the LAPD is currently conducting an "active investigation." Reports say the LAPD is looking at the possibility of a hit and run by Spears.

This is the first hit and run complaint against Britney Spears in weeks!

The incident is said to have occurred as Britney Spears was leaving the L.A. County Courthouse after her most recent custody hearing.

The "singer" left without regaining many privileges, as Kevin Federline retained primary custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James.

The LAPD said, in a statement, that it "is aware that Britney Spears was leaving the courthouse. We are also aware that a deputy was injured. The LAPD is unable to confirm the details on the injury because the investigation is in its initial stage."

Story developing, updates to follow ...

Looks like Britney Spears does something aside from party, ignore Sean Preston and Jayden James and go to Starbucks.

The awful mother also watches sex tapes.

How else to explain her view of Kim Kardashian? According to celebrity gossip newspaper The Sun, a friend of Britney's (Sam Lufti? Alli Sims?) quoted Spears as saying the following:

"I really love Kim's butt, skin and hair. Kim is a real women. A real horny beast."

Ray J would agree. As would Reggie Bush and Nick Cannon.

Sounds to us like Sean Avery and Mary-Kate Olsen have competition for hottest new couple in Hollywood.

What do you think? Should Kim and Britney get together?

Britney Spears' attorneys sure are busy these days.The latest in a long line of legal woes for the "singer" came Thursday as a lawsuit was filed against her by former manager Johnny Wright.Britney Spears and Johnny Wright parted ways in 2003. The manager claims she contractually owes him commissions for deals negotiated on her behalf through February 2008. According to Wright, Brit stopped paying in December 2006.

Britney Spears: Sued yet again. Nothing new here.

"I have a great deal of affection and empathy for her. As you know, I was a part of her career from the early days," Wright said. "But a contractual disagreement can unfortunately only be resolved in the courts, despite my wishes!"Britney Spears later sacked Wright's replacement, Larry Rudolph.Meanwhile, financial details in the ongoing custody battle between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were unsealed Thursday... and are eye-opening.According to papers submitted to the courts by Britney Spears:

• She earns $737,000 a month.
• She spends an average of $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacations; $16,000 on clothes; $4,758 on dining; and $2,500 on phone bills a month. She spends $49,267 on mortgage payments.
• She gives $500 a month to her charity, the Britney Spears Foundation.

Her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, meanwhile:

• Earned more than half a million in 2006 (mostly from endorsement deals), but only grossed $7,436 after business expenses.
• Receives $15,000 a month in child support from Spears. He could get more if he receives permanent custody of sons Sean Preston and Jayden James.
• rossed a staggering $3,330 in royalties from his 2006 debut track "Popozao." Talk about raking in the big bucks.

Streetwalking harlot? Fashion-challenged tigress? Midriff-baring carnie? Employee of a celebrity photo agency? Or fiesta queen? Who the heck knows!

Only Britney Spears - and perhaps not even Britney Spears - knows what the heck Britney Spears was supposed to be as she donned a variety of costumes - including a pink zebra showgirl getup and a TMZ press pass in honor of Halloween at Heidi Klum's annual costume bash at The Green Door in Hollywood.

Hey, it's not like she has anything better to do - like spend time with her sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James. The court says that's just not safe for the lil' mistakes.

Leave it to Britney Spears to find the ultimate Halloween outfit, truly becoming of her newfound image. The troubled singer donned a hot pink animal print leotard with a cut out middle that exposed her cleavage and midriff.

Spears attended a house party thrown by model Heidi Klum and husband Seal, and later hit the Green Door bar with friend Lucy Walsh. Then she was apparently all over some girl (possibly Lucy Walsh) in a car, as seen in the photo below ...

Earlier that day, Britney Spears gave her first interview to promote her hot new CD, Blackout, amid the widespread media frenzy over her child custody hearings.

Ryan Seacrest asked how often she was seeing sons Sean Preston and Jayden James, and the train wreck deferred to her attorneys. "That's, like, all in the court, stuff like that. My lawyers know all that stuff," Britney Spears said.

Despite great personal turmoil of late, "Gimme More" is getting a lot of radio play and Web downloads. Seacrest asked Spears about the message she meant to convey in one of the album's other talked about songs, "Piece of Me."

"There's a lot of people who like, you know, want to ask questions and ... sometimes you don't know their intentions and stuff," Spears said.

"It's just kind of a cute way of putting it out there, you know, like, ‘you want a piece of me,' and like, in a cool, cute, clever way."

Oh yes. Very clever. Always the first word that comes to mind when talking about Britney Spears. Her lawyers know, like, all that stuff, y'all.

We talk a lot about Britney Spears. A lot.

Yet the pop star train wreck herself offers relatively few sound bites of late. We're not counting the "singing" on her new album of course.

Wednesday morning, Spears broken her silence on the recent controversy over her parenting skills and her negative public image, talking to metrosexual radio host and American Idol personality Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM show.

"I try to not let it get to me," she said.

As for the drama over her custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline for sons Sean Preston and Jayden James, she said, "People say what they want and do what they do... but it's sad how cruel our world can be."

When asked about recent fling Tony Romo (Ryan Seacrest personally said he saw her give him a lap dance at Les Deux October 26), she replied, "Who?"

Britney Spears said she thinks her new album, Blackout, was "cool" and her favorite song was "Heaven and Earth ... It is a really cool track."

Britney Spears calls her new album, which came out this week, Blackout. Which sure is convenient, since that's also what the lush calls Tuesday-Saturday nights.

She had a low-key celebration for the album release Tuesday. "We watched movies," she said. Probably not the Amy Fisher sex tape, although who knows.

As for whose idea it was for her to say "It's Britney, Bitch" in the intro to "Gimme More," Spears said, "the producer told me to say that." Well, there you go.

While Spears surprisingly made it to the interview with Seacrest and was halfway coherent, it wasn't exactly easy to get Britney's ass in gear. Or out of the sack.

At first, her "cousin" Alli Sims phoned in from Spears' Beverly Hills home and said she was trying to wake the train wreck up. Spears had overslept. Her producer pal, Sam Lutfi, was also overheard in the background.

For three of the most turbulent months of Britney Spears' life, Kalie Machado was a witness to the wreckage, a constant presence by the "singer's" side.

As the great train wreck's personal assistant starting in December 2006, Kalie Machado soon found herself a featured player in Britney's daily soap opera.

In other words, part-time nanny to her kids / full-time drinking companion and shoulder to cry on. And, in the case of Shannon Funk, occasional lesbian lover.

Now back in Northern California where she grew up, Machado tells Us Weekly some of the heartbreaking details of Britney's breakup with FedEx, and how Spears even desperately tried to win the deadbeat back for a time.

"She wanted so badly to have the father of her babies. When Britney thought about Kevin not wanting her, she would bawl," said Kalie Machado (pictured above with Britney Spears). "She would just look at Sean Preston and Jayden James and say, 'Where's your daddy? I need help. Where's your daddy?'"

And Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, were with Britney Spears when she and Federline had their final fight, something Kalie Machado says Brit felt she was tricked into. After following him to New York with their sons, "She stood up for herself, and it backfired... That was what [K-Fed] wanted."

Spears also hung her wedding dress in the bedroom of her Malibu home and kept framed photos of K-Fed all over the house. "She would ask, 'Why did he do this to me?'" Kalie Machado said, adding that "It just made her crazy and depressed."

Kalie Machado's conclusion? "She needs mental help," she says.

Heck, we could have told you that for less money, Us. But we're glad for Kalie's comments. Move over, Sam Lutfi. There's a new Spears pal grabbing headlines.

Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo, who just signed a new $67 million contract, credits his football position for the public interest in his love life.

Asked at a team press conference, the NFL star was asked this: "How do you respond to reports that you were with Britney Spears this weekend?"

Romo laughed and replied simply, "I think [it] sometimes goes with this position. Being the quarterback ... you're at the same place with someone else and people just run with it now." Well, okay, if you say so, Tony.

The Cowboys signal-caller says he's no stranger to being celebrity gossip fodder, having been linked to Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood.

"So it's just the position, I guess, in some ways. And you just learn that and shake your head every once in a while and you move on."

Spears and Romo were spotted together last weekend at the L.A. restaurant Ketchup, where Romo was having dinner, and then later with Spears pal and possible cousin Alli Sims and others at the Hollywood hotspot Les Deux.

Alli Sims and Britney Spears: Kissin' cousins... or somethin'. 

Alli Sims takes issue one some of the accounts of their evening - such as the widespread reports that Spears gave a lap dance to Tony Romo.

Explaining their activities, Sims said, "We were in a private area upstairs and sat down talking most of the night, but did get up to dance a little."

"The story is untrue," says Alli Sims, Britney's former assistant. "Tony is a gentleman, and Britney wouldn't do that, especially to a friend of mine."

She would pass out in a hotel room full of hard drugs and Howie Day... or be bent over and railed wheelbarrow style by JR Rotem, though. Just saying.

Guess Nicole Narain was right.

Commissioner Scott Gordon did not return custody of Sean Preston Federline and Jayden James Federline to Britney Spears, limiting her to three monitored visits per week, two from noon-p.m. and one overnight.

Spears and Kevin Fedrline have been ordered to figure out holiday schedules, and she must give evidence that she childproofed her pool area by Friday.

The Commish wrote that when Britney has Sean and Jayden, "the environment at the house ranged from chaotic to almost somber, with little communication at all."

Gordon also recounts what Britney Spears' parenting coach complained of - that "Spears rarely engaged with the children in either conversation or play."

Britney Spears: No custody for you.

According to the report, the coach wrote, "It seems that [Britney Spears'] choices are dependent more upon what she wants to do at any given time rather than what would be more enjoyable for the children."

At the custody hearing, the coach also said Spears has a "lack of general attention at times" but nothing she "would characterize as abusive in a traditional sense."

And then perhaps the most damning comment from the nutjob's parenting coach: "The problem is that unless Ms. Spears realizes the consequences of her behavior and the impact that it has [on] her children, nothing is going to be successful."

Nicole Narain, the ex-Playmate and co-star of the Colin Farrell sex tape - and Kevin Federline's reported new girlfriend - is calling out Britney Spears, calling the toxic "singer" mentally unstable and wholly unfit to be a mother.

Let us reiterate that. A Playboy Playmate and sex tape star is chastising Britney Spears. If that doesn't sum up Britney's fall from grace, what does?

In any case, in an interview with The Sun, Nicole Narain made some shocking claims about the incomparable Britney Spears, including, but not limited to:

• Britney was caught breast-feeding Jayden James while drunk on vodka.
• Kevin Federline fears she has left their two sons permanently damaged.
• Britney has been warned several times not to leave Jayden James and Sean Preston in her pool unsupervised and in her car without seat belts.

... and finally ...

• Britney once made a pass at Nicole when they were in the toilet together.

As absurd as it sounds, do you doubt that story? Of course not. That also tells you a lot about Britney. K-Fed reportedly told Nicole Narain:

"I'd see her walking around the house guzzling vodka and Coke and looking tipsy. Then a few moments later, I saw her pick up Jayden and start breast-feeding him."

When Nicole Narain and K-Fed are the voices of reason, you know you've got some problems. We all know Britney is following in the footsteps of Anna Nicole Smith, and is seemingly uninterested in getting help. Will she ever turn this around?