Britney Spears

Seriously. Jessica Simpson is officially off the hook.

At least at last year's VMA debacle, Britney Spears didn't even pretend to sing. If she had, the pop wreck might have provided more material such as this video circulating online. It's from some old shows, and man, it's far from good.

Britney clearly lip-synched the concerts shown here, but someone behind the scenes apparently recorded what, if anything, was actually sung (more like spoken, really) into her mic. The audience didn't hear this, but we can now!

Listen to Britney's voice over her mic while performing ...

Don't call it a comeback.

No, really, don't. She's not singing or performing anytime soon.

"Britney Spears will not be performing at the VMAs this year. I'm telling you officially and unequivocally," Ryan Seacrest quoted Spears' manager, Larry Rudolph, as saying on his KIIS-FM radio show Monday morning.

Rudolph added that Brit "is in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and was never supposed to perform at that show."

The idea of Spears performing had been rumored for weeks. Her hair stylist was supposedly working on some hot new weaves "looks" for the occasion.

Britney has also been looking very hot and feeling healthy latel - a far cry from her Cinemax soft porn audition VMA "performance" last year (below), which The New York Times called "awful" and "nothing that sounded or looked like live singing."

The singer is still involved in the show in some capacity in '08, however. Spears is appearing alongside host Russell Brand in some funny TV ads, and is up for three VMAs — including Video of the Year for her song "Piece of Me."

The quality of this video is terrible, but it does give us our first look at Britney Spears‘ cameo video on Madonna’s “Sticky & Sweet” tour.

It’s from the possible Alex Rodriguez soulmate's first concert at the Millennium Stadium in the Welsh city of Cardiff on Saturday night.

As reported earlier, Britney Spears is stuck in an elevator and whispers the profound words “express yourself, don’t repress yourself.”

Spears, who appears demonic and possessed (which is likely the point), ends the video with her now infamous line, “It’s Britney, b!tch.”

Nothing really new here - just a couple of new photos from Britney Spears' recent cover story in OK! Magazine that we thought you'd enjoy.

Specifically, little Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline dressed in white formal wear, then playing in the pool and looking sooo adorable.

Seriously, how cute are these two celebrity babies? Especially that little Jayden James! They've got some good genes! Well, from mom at least.

Anyway, here are Sean Preston and Jayden James. You may coo at will.

File this under: Celebrity News We'll Believe When We See.

Despite the fact that it's been rumored for years and never materialized, several sources are reporting that Britney Spears will soon record a duet with the hunky Justin Timberlake, pop/R&B star and her ex-boyfriend.

Supposedly, the long-awaited Britney-Justin collaboration will appear on Britney’s new album, which is due towards the end of this year.

Again, this is Britney Spears. You have to take these things with a grain of salt. Or a boulder of salt. But we're sure hoping it happens!

Spears and Timberlake, seen here a looong time ago, were the First Couple of pop until she (allegedly) slept with choreographer Wade Robson and got dumped.

First things first - let's get this duet over, done with and climbing the charts. Then we'll work on Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake marrying and starting a huge family - both biologically and adopting, a la Brangelina.

No offense, Jessica Biel. We love you in the sink pic. But you're no match for Britney on the celebrity gossip / entertainment front.

OK! Magazine has a story about Britney Spears' newly toned and fit figure this week, and unlike the last time they tried this angle, it appears they used a picture NOT from 2003! Everybody, put your hands together for OK!

While vacationing at Las Ventanas resort in Los Cabos, Mexico, in late July, Britney Spears sure looked good as she walked out of the surf in a white bikini that highlighted a tanned, svelte and once-familiar sexy-as-heck figure.

The singer reveals how she successfully regained her lean physique and how she's committed to being a role model to Sean Preston and Jayden James.

"I'm the healthiest I've been all my life," Britney Spears, 26, said.

"My diet has a lot to do with getting in shape. I have no sugar. I don't even eat fruit because of the sugar. I eat chicken, salmon and rice. I eat avocados. I'll have egg whites for breakfast and turkey burgers for lunch. I try to do 1,200 calories a day. It may not sound like much, but it's actually a lot if you eat the right things."

Of course, our girl also hits the gym like a madwoman.

The singer's comittment to being healthy is being applauded by trainers like Miami-based trainer and owner of SOMA Fitness & Performance, Adam Cronin.

Cronin says Britney Spears' routine of a 1,200-calorie-a-day, high-protein meal plan is ideal for someone who wants to drop pounds safely and healthily.

"If you do vigorous workouts — plus this eating program — it is possible to lose 12 pounds in 30 days, in a healthy, non fad-like way," the trainer said.

A celebrity diet that actually works and isn't dangerous? Imagine that. And just think - she'll can burn even more calories pummeling her ex-lawyer.

Britney Spears is looking hot and getting back on track.

That is, until these particular legal bills arrive in the mail.

Stacy Phillips, one of the itinerant members of Spears' legal team, has let it be known that ding dang it, lawyer bills can be bank-breakin' ya'll!

According to a declaration filed Monday in Los Angeles Superior Court, the owes a staggering $338,414.87 to Phillips for services rendered.

Phillips only repped Britney from March-June, after Laura Wasser opted out - and didn't even win or strike any deals in Spears' custody case!

Of course, Spears is also on the hook for the legal fees of Mark Vincent Kaplan (the attorney for Kevin Federline). But to give Phillips' robbery a little perspective, K-Fed won - and Kaplan billed a relatively modest $250,000.

Not shockingly, there are rumors of a lawsuit in the works, as Britney Spears' camp is fuming and raising objections to the sum.

We cannot figure this girl out.

One minute, Britney Spears is smoking in the face of Sean Preston and looking like she hasn't eaten a salad since 1999.

The next? Looking (almost) like her old, hot self ...

Circa 2001 Britney Spears emerges from a Mercedes time machine.

While there's no way that hair is real - after all, she shaved her head completely bald just 16 short months ago - even it looks better than some of her looks we've seen of late. A little trashy, but that's par for the course with Brit.

With her newfound good looks, sobriety, overnight visits with the kids and overall contentedness, Britney Spears is truly on the rebound - she may even pick up her first-ever VMA win next month. Keep up the good work, girl!

Britney Spears humilated herself at last year's MTV Video Music Awards. But it looks like she'll have a shot at redemption when this year's ceremony airs on September 7.

The troubled singer is nominated for the show's top honor – video of the year – for the hilarious, celebrity gossip-based song, "Piece of Me." The video was also nominated by the singer's fans for best pop video and best female video.

Other nominees in the category include:

• The Jonas Brothers' "Burnin Up"
  
• Chris Brown's "Forever"
  
• The Pussycat Dolls' "When I Grow Up"
• The Ting Tings' "Shut Up and Let Me Go"

If Spears wins, it will be her first Video Music Award ever, despite having been nominated 16 times.

Would you vote for her over the other nominated artists?

At this year's MTV Video Music Awards, it will be Britney Spears versus The Jonas Brothers!

... soda and junk food. Yee-haw, y'all! Oh, and ma l'il mistakes Preston n' Jayden're also here. Ding dang it, it's a par-tay, bay-bee! Woo!