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Our counterparts at hotonlinenews.com are reporting that Britney Spears is not taking too kindly to the laziness of husband Kevin Federline. In fact, the pop star recently axed a pool boy for hanging out with her deadbeat of a husband.

"I was hanging out a little bit. She came out screaming at Kevin for lying around, then looked at me like I was to blame," ex-employee Jon LaLane told In Touch Weekly.

Wal Mart Shopper

The next day, LaLane says he got a call from one of Spears' representatives, telling him not to report for work. Don't call us, we'll call you, Jon.

LaLane, son of the famed exercise guru Jack LaLane, and who is also in a band called BlowGun (far too easy to even waste time on a one-liner) says he and K-Fed (below) would talk music by the pool. That's probably a bad sign, if you think about it. The band is clearly not getting it done commercially if he's cleaning pools -- and Federline is not exactly the guy an aspiring performer should be bouncing ideas off of.

Golf Fiend

In any case, LaLane claims that pregnant Britney would get jealous when her hubby talked to anyone else. Britney, whose Manny made headlines for awhile, apparently is allowed to talk to whoever she wants. We now know who wears the pants in this house, not surprisingly.

"She wants Kevin on a leash. She fires everybody. I figured, 'Why not me?' I just didn't expect her to be so mean. It's a revolving door there. She's not the nice person everyone thinks she is," LaLane said.

Oh, get over yourself. She fired you, move on. Go clean Lindsay Lohan's pool, Jon -- the Gossip is pretty sure there's a "special" treat in it for you.

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Everything appears to be alright, but our friends at hollyscoop.com are reporting that the incomparable Britney Spears was terrified recently by a false labor scare. The 24-year-old singer, who is now very pregnant (seven months in, to be exact) with her second child, went into false labor last week and was rushed to hospital.

"Britney started cramping. She had a real scare," a friend who must not care about Britney's privacy at all told In Touch Weekly.

Sad Britney Photo

Britney is now out of hospital but has been warned by doctors that she may have to spend the last month of the pregnancy in bed.

She has also been told to improve her diet, which has never been the healthiest. Guess that means she has to cut down on those pork rinds. Oh, and no more Taco Bell, you hear!

Spears has admitted to junk food cravings since becoming pregnant with poor Sean Preston's will-be-sibling, but has now hired a nutritionist to make sure she stays in shape as her pregnancy winds down.

"She wasn't eating enough vegetables. But Britney is now determined to enjoy the rest of her pregnancy and stay healthy after she gives birth," the friend added.

It is not the first time Britney and her deadbeat husband, Kevin Federline, have been faced with a pregnancy scare. When the pop star was pregnant with Sean Preston, she feared she had suffered a miscarriage after four months.

Get well, Britney. We kid (a lot), but we love you.

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Britney Spears‘ sexy schoolgirl antics in her debut single, "Baby One More Time," were groundbreaking. Some teenage males might even call them life-altering. But they weren't enough to top one of Britney's musical heroes, Madonna, on MTV UK's list of the 100 Videos That Broke the Rules.

Britney Spears and Madonna

To call Madonna's 1989 video for "Like a Prayer" controversial might be the biggest understatement in music history. The video, after all, featured the scantily-clad singer kissing a black Christ-like figure against a backdrop of burning crosses. Yeah. Top that, Brit.

Madonna drew the ire of critics back then, but won "Like a Prayer" the top spot on MTV UK's recent list.

Britney came in at #2, while Michael Jackson's legendary 14-minute zombie epic "Thriller" moonwalks claimed the third spot. At #4? Madonna again, for her "Justify My Love" video, which was banned by MTV in 1990. Next in line? You guessed it. Madonna, with "Vogue."

MTV compiled the list by polling 10,000 viewers and will play the entire 100 videos as part of its 25th Anniversary on August 1. Hopefully Madonna and Britney can put aside their recent differences and come together in celebration of this honor. Maybe they can kiss. You know, to make up and stuff.

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Much as you would love to imagine the words "Britney," "Spears," and "experimentation" coming together in magical ways, don't get your hopes up.

Britney, Sean

Mother extraordinaire Britney Spears says she loves experimenting -- but she means playing the role of personal style coordinator for 10-month-old son Sean Preston. The pregnant pop princess loves picking out a wide and interesting variety of clothes for Sean P. So much so that she is planning on launching a new clothing line specifically for babies.

The star says she is putting her downtime during pregnancy to good use (when she's not writing poetry, of course), and has been amusing herself endlessly with Sean Preston's wardrobe.

"Because I'm pregnant, I'm big, and I don't really want to get out that much," she said. "I go into his closet and just bleach everything! Preston's just like a rocker kid. Hopefully next year we'll have a fashion show, maybe at Disney World or something like that We'll have them onstage, and they'll have mini-guitars. Everyone needs a mini-guitar!"

Somebody please kill me now, or take me back to the days of yore.

One would think that Britney could use some of that downtime to outfit husband Kevin Federline in some new clothes as well, but who knows. Maybe she digs the circa-1992-wigger look. As for her experimenting with Sean Preston's attire, we think she has some work to do. Please see:

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Think about it. Who else would The Gossip choose when officially unveiling its new Classic Celebrity Pictures feature?

For a person who's spent a mere 24 years upon this Earth, Britney Spears has been through a lot. She's been a teen temptress, a pop princess, walking paradox, and a global sex symbol. Now she's producing fewer songs, has her own reality show (the true sign of a has-been in training), is married to the most worthless dirtbag on the planet, acts like she's straight out of the trailer park, cranks out kids like it's her job, and exhibits some seriously weak maternal instincts.

Waxy Britney

In order words, she's been around long enough -- and become a big enough train wreck -- for some older pictures of her glory days to attain classic status.

Feast your eyes upon this pic, from Esquire. Then think about what might have been, had a man named K-Fed not entered her life. Sigh. At least he can't take away our memories.

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Who knew that Britney Spears fashioned herself a poet?

On her official site, britneyspears.com, the 24-year old singer posts her "Stream of Consciousness" musings from time to time. Her most recent entry talks about how much she wishes her dumbass husband Kevin Federline would get off his lazy ass and do something with his life. Just kidding. That's not on there, though we have no doubt she thinks it. Often.

Britney Spears Hairstyle

Anyway, the "Love B" section of the site focuses on her recent fascination with the tiger. Quoting poet William Blake, Britney writes:

Tiger! Tiger! Burning bright
In the forests of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

She then provides her own insight.

"In some ways, people are a lot like animals. We all hunger for the same things. Love, lust, danger, warmth and adventure. Like people, animals all have their own rhythm to life... I'm mesmerized by tigers. Their eyes, their stripes, their constant quest for survival. They almost have a sense of mysteriousness about them. They pull you in and make it difficult to look away. They make you wonder what is behind their gaze," Britney writes.

There's more. On May 22, Spears posted an original poem, one she dedicated to everyone who thinks they know her. She forgives all of those people, by the way. Phew. Here's her work, entitled "Remembrance of Who I Am":

No more chains
That you gave me

Enough of pain
Now I'm craving
Something sweet, so delight
How do you stand sleeping at night?

Silly patterns that we follow
You pull me in
I'm being swallowed
By the ones you think you love
They pull you down
You can't see up above

Manipulation is the key
They screw it in
Because you're naive

You come to me now
Why do you bother?
Remember the Bible
The sins of the Father.
What you do
You pass down.
No wonder why
I lost my crown.

You don't see me now
You ask yourself why
My crown is back
And it's way too high
For you to be in my presence
Especially my son
You should bow down
I've only just begun.

The guilt you fed me
Made me weak.
The voodoo you did
I couldn't speak.

You're awakening
The phone is ringing.
Resurrection of my soul.
The fear I'm bringing.

What will you say
And what will you do?
She's not the same person that you're used to.

You trick me one, twice, now it's three.
Look who's smiling now.
Damn, it's good to be me.

There you have it. Draw your own conclusions. We think we know who the one "swallowing her" would be (Federline, that a$$hole), and probably who has been feeding Britney the steady diet of guilt she writes of. But the symbolism of the crown? The voodoo? The resurrection of her soul? You lost us a little there, Brit. But we thank you for the profound imagery.

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Who said Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears were bitter rivals?

No one actually. But this really proves it! In fact, today on MTV's Total Request Live, Jessica declared herself a big fan of Britney, with her favorite Spears track being her hit, "I'm a Slave 4 U." The Gossip approves of her choice. That particular song is considered somewhat of a milestone in Spears' career, as well as a life-altering event for American males ages 15-25.

Steamy Scene

The steamy video and raunchy lyrics fully redefined Britney's public image from innocent sweetheart to... We don't even need to finish that sentence. But we're glad that Jessica is a fan. She even said Britney has "a hot bod." Well, that calls for a Spears pic straight from the "Slave" video. The lengths we go to for our fans.

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Looks like all the drugs Justin Timberlake takes haven't resulted in massive memory loss. The singer, who has been tight-lipped about his first love, Britney Spears, in the past, is jumping on the bandwagon as everyone and their mother drags the pop princess through the mud.

  • Justin Timberlake Golfing
  • A Pregnant Britney Spears

Below, courtesy of GQ, are JT's thoughts on Mrs. Federline… back before she married that white-trash sleazebag:

�I was in love with her from the start," said Justin, who was 11 when he met 10-year old Brit. "Britney grew up on my living room floor.�

The Timberlake take the breakup with Spears:

â��When we initially parted ways, I felt like she had opportunities to just sort of stick up for me, and she didnâ��t… I fought back… I came up with a song,â�� said Timberlake, referring to his hit "Cry Me a River," a scathing account of Spears' infidelity with his pal, Wade Robson.

Who got the last laugh?

�I just hate what she�s going through now,� said a sympathetic Timberlake, who denied advising his beleaguered ex to dump useless spouse Kevin Federline.

While he says he wishes Spears well, Timberlake calls his first love "so high school," and refers to his relationship with Cameron Diaz, 33, as more "adult." He and Diaz have been getting it on since ‘03.

Britney, who plans to renew vows with K-Fed next month, declined comment. Probably.

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The National Enquirer apologized to Britney Spears in its British edition Tuesday for reporting that she was ready to divorce white-trash deadbeat Kevin Federline.

Britney Federline

Articles published by the tabloid on June 5 and June 12 proclaimed: "Britney marriage is over!" and "Britney and Kevin: And now their divorce!" respectively. The stories were based on vague, uncredited sources supposedly close to the couple. Way to drag celebrities through the mud for no reason, a$$holes. You hacks are a disgrace to journalism and blogging.

According to Fox News, a beacon of journalistic standards in its own right, the retraction and apology said that National Enquirer officials "now accept that their marriage is not over and they are not getting divorced. These allegations are untrue and we now accept Britney's position that the statements are without foundation. We apologize for any distress caused."

American Media Inc., the publisher of the Enquirer, agreed to terms on a settlement with Paul Tweed, the lawyer representing Spears in both Great Britain and Ireland. The settlement requires a published apology, but no cash damages.

Too bad, because Federline loves cash he doesn't have to work for.

Spears reportedly pursued action on that side of the Atlantic because British and Irish laws are far more plaintiff-friendly.

The pop princess and the backup dancer / aspiring rapper / mooch of a husband wed in September 2004 and have a 10-month old son, Sean Preston, who will soon grow old enough to realize how f--ked up his life is. She is now pregnant with their second child, who is due to enter the world (and be traumatized) this fall.

"The couple are very satisfied with the Enquirer's prompt and good-faith response," Tweed said.

The apology and retraction was published today in the edition of the Enquirer published in England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales, and will be published Wednesday in the Republic of Ireland version.

The Hollywood Gossip would like to take this opportunity to note that it will never, ever retract a story about Britney Spears. Particularly if it involves nude pics. Thank you.

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In a completely unbelievable attempt to show the world everything's fine with their marriage, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are planning to renew their wedding vows next month during a romantic ceremony in Hawaii.

Spederline

"It's all Brit's idea. She's convinced herself that their marriage is strong and wants to show she's fallen in love with Kevin all over again," a family friend dished. "So she wants to have a big, splashy ceremony with all their family and friends and the baby in attendance."

For the record, the two married on September 18, 2004. Less than two years ago. Who renews their vows after 22 months? Who marries a waste of space like K-Fed at all? Whatever. The two are determined to project an image of perfect harmony, and hoping to kill rumors that their marriage is on life support. Neither goal stands a chance in hell.

The singer, who is pregnant with her second child less than a year after giving birth to poor, innocent, destined-to-be-traumatized-for-life Sean Preston, has vowed to make the marriage work. She is determined, friends say, to reshape Kevin's image from a bumbling slacker to a kind, decent family man.

Yeah. That's happening.

With the notable exception of Pink, Everyone is taking shots at Britney these days. Enter ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake, who recently criticized her for being disloyal. The boy-band star, who split from Spears in 2002 and whose hit, "Cry Me a River," was a thinly-veiled slap at her, is amazed at how quickly their relationship turned sour after the breakup.

"When we initially parted ways, I felt like she had a couple of opportunities to just sort of stick up for me, and she didn't," JT told GQ.

Britney Spears Biography

Britney Spears: Harper's Bazaar Style Wow. Britney Spears is ... just.... OMG. Wow. Just wow. With this girl, that's about all we can say at this point. Once the biggest... More »
Born
Birthplace
Kentwood, Louisiana
Full Name
Britney Jean Spears

Britney Spears Quotes

I miss it here so much! I love it so much! It makes me it's kinda like bittersweet coming here because I used to live here for two years. And when I come here, it's like, man, I wish I had my apartment here still.

Britney Spears [on New York City]

MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?

Britney Spears
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