by Free Britney at . Comments

It's official. The wait is over and the US Weekly clock (which reached 78 days plus) can be retired. Britney and K-Fed were finally photographed together today as the one who wears the pants in the relationship apparently let the white trash, aspiring rapper out of the basement. Probably reluctantly. The guy stinks! Here's the image:

Britney and Her Brood

Good Lord. The fact that little Sean Preston is wearing a Sean P. jersey renders a comment unnecessary. Can someone call the Department of Health & Human Services?

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Kevin Federline isn't feeling so secure lately.

The wannabe rap star has been banished to the basement by wife Britney Spears as marital relations with between the two remaining chilly. As a result, Federline is reportedly worried about what's in store for him down the line.

K-Fed Pic

With the relationship in shambles, Federline is going to great lengths to preserve the lifestyle of white trash mooch to which he become accustomed.

According to the Sun, a British newspaper, he's been spotted in a Malibu mall collecting numerous credit card applications, in hopes of accumulating massive amounts of debt and planning for the future in his own sick way.

"He realized without Britney he has hardly any money coming in to sustain his flash lifestyle," says the Sun source. "He figures Britney will pick up the bill anyway when the divorce comes through because they will have to split everything, including debts."

The Gossip feels comfortable speaking for most of America when is says this loser needs to get dumped (and neutered) ASAP. Look at poor little Sean P. and his beautiful mother. They need a stable influence. Someone who will be there for them, through thick and thin, not put them on the fast track to an endless payday loan cycle.

Brit, if you're reading this, you gotta drop it like it's hot! It being K-Fed!

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A lawsuit filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court claims that Britney Spears and her mother, Lynne, are responsible for serious injuries to a member of the paparazzi.

The paparazzo (which is apparently a word) was allegedly struck by an SUV carrying the Spears clan. The incident supposedly occurred in June 2004, when Lynne, Britney and younger sister Jamie Lynn left a Santa Monica pet store.

Britney Spears and her mom Lynne out and about

A number of paparazzi, including the plaintiff, Cullen Reavley, crowded around the vehicle. The lawsuit states that the car is owned by Lynne, who was also the one driving. Reavley (below), who may or may not have been switched from twin brother Will Ferrell at birth, fell to the ground and claims Lynne ran over his foot.

Paramedics and police were called and Reavley was taken to the hospital, but initially determined Lynne Spears committed no wrongdoing and she was not ticketed.

In the lawsuit filed at the Beverly Hills Courthouse claims Reavley has "head, neck, back and trunk" injuries, as well as others to extremities. The lawsuit does not state whether the junk in said trunk sustained any damage. The plaintiff also alleges general mental, physical and nervous pain and suffering, and that the incident will result in his permanent disability.

In addition to Britney, Reavley is suing Lynne and Britney Touring, Inc. for unspecified damages, in excess of $25,000. What the hell is Lynne and Britney Touring, Inc.? Who the heck knows. The lesson learned: Don't stand in the front of an SUV driven by Britney's crazy cellphone squawking mom.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Kevin Federline has garnered his share of detractors over the past couple of years. You can now add Janice Dickinson to that list.

Yes, the former model (right) and judge on America's Next Top Model has lashed out at Federline and his wife of 20 months, Britney Spears. Janice thinks Britney needs an image overhaul and should dump husband her white trash husband immediately.

Clubbing Like a Fiend

"I never found him hot at all. But she's a hick anyway. She needs to get hot again. Stop clomping around in those Malibu flip-flops," Dickinson told The Book Standard. "I would tar and feather her first of all, tell her to dump that [bleeping] hick husband of hers. She needs solid advice, and not from Hicksville."

Dickinson, a self-proclaimed supermodel who also insists she coined that term (great claim to fame, lady), has a book entitled Check Please: Mating, Dating, and Extricating due out next month, and said she'd like to give Spears a complete makeover.

Is she serious? Who the hell is Janice Freaking Dickinson to talk? And who wants to tar and feather someone? Britney, especially? Maybe she's a little exasperating from time to time with her naivete, but cruel and unusual punishment is taking it a bit far, wouldn't you say?

That's show business for you. Here today, bitter and pathetic tomorrow. This washed-up 53-year old former Playboy centerfold evidently believes she can criticize beautiful, successful young starlets at will whenever she wants to promote her own efforts. What a low-class hoe.

Not that we don't share her opinion of Federline. That guy definitely needs to be replaced in the worst way. What an assclown.

by Free Britney at . Comments

He spends tons of time with Britney Spears and little Sean Preston, has a good job, even clothes that fit. We're talking, of course, about the Manny (male nanny) hired recently by Britney. But who is this mysterious, upstanding guy who's been seen with the starlet?

Turns out he's not actually Manny, but Perry. Taylor. He's a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, according to MSN Entertainment. Rumor has it that the former lacrosse player and ski instructor was originally brought on as a bodyguard for Brit, only to transform into a caretaker for poor Sean P.

Britney and Jayden James

But is this really the budding romance and replacement of K-Fed that most of us ( included) want?

Probably not. According to Taylor's own mother, he's neither a Manny or a surrogate spouse. Despite being pictured toting little Sean all over town, and reportedly accompanying Spears to a swanky resort in Laguna Beach, he's still pretty clueless about kids. Of course, given his extensive military training, he can probably figure out the whole car seat thing.

Taylor's mother also says that he's off the market and living with his own "bombshell" girlfriend of two years. She adds that Taylor moved to L.A. to find a new career after "the women in his life" talked him out of pursuing security opportunities in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"He's protecting Britney and he's protecting the child," a Spears insider clarifies to People Magazine.

Truth may very well lie in the report that Federline doesn't like that Taylor is taking care of his baby. Of course, he might not have much say in the matter. Us Weekly claims that with their relationship in shambles, Britney has booted the unemployed rapper and former backup dancer to the basement of their Malibu mansion.

[NOTE: Please check out the hilarious US Weekly running clock of the time elapsed between when Mr. & Mrs. Federline were last photographed together ��" 76 days and counting]

"He's been sleeping downstairs for the last several months. Things are really, really bad. He basically does his own thing," a source dished.

Us also reports that a "Christian life coach" has been hired by Spears' parents to help guide her down the right path, perhaps sans Federline.

Hopefully that coach is a real taskmaster… and knows a good divorce lawyer, if you know what we're saying. We're saying K-Fed sucks.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Subtle, but firm.

That's how we'd describe the latest effort of a rebellious Britney Spears to replace husband Kevin Federline. With her marriage reportedly on the rocks, the sexy star has hired a male nanny to help care for their seven-month-old son, Sean Preston. Rumor has it that K-Fed is quite jealous of the new guy in Britney's life.

Britney Spears, Pink Bikini

"[Federline] doesn't like that this guy is taking care of his baby," an "insider" told InTouch magazine. "He feels like Britney is throwing it in his face."

The male nanny -- who some in the press have nicknamed "Manny" -- has been identified not as Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez (below), but as a man named either Perry or Henry, according to numerous reports.

He was hired to be a bodyguard for Spears at first, but he's since become the man of the house... a very lucky man of what has to be a very strange house.

In Touch reports that Manny/Perry/Henry has been doing chores that had previously been done by Federline, and has even been spotted buying flowers for Spears.

Wait a second... Federline did chores? Who would have guessed?

To make matters even tougher on poor Kevin, Mrs. Federline is redecorating the house, tossing her husband's beloved black leather furniture in favor of some more feminine tastes.

"She's using pink, cream and apricot silk, lace and feathers," reports an inside source. "Kevin claims that he can't think in the house any more and it's affecting his music. He is complaining that the place is ‘some high-school chick's bedroom.'"

Whatever it takes to get him out, Britney. Whatever it takes.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Are Mr. & Mrs. Federline headed for divorce court? According to Kevin's friends, he and Britney Spears are still married. But for how long?

One friend, decked out in baggy pants and sunglasses (and probably a hat tilted sideways), says recent rumors of the couple's split are false.

Kevin Federline and Britney Spears Photo

"Everything you read in the tabloids about their relationship is fabricated. They're still together," the source said.

Others close to the Federlines said in interviews that divorce talk is off base, though none would agree to officially go on the record with a quote.

Reports out of the UK last week said that Spears signed preliminary divorce papers, allegedly after consulting with lawyers about splitting from Federline.

A source told Britain's News of the World newspaper that this is "a very stressful time" for Britney and that "she is serious about it… and knows she has to get things moving."

Spears has been at the center of speculation for months as her marriage is clearly on the rocks, and has been pretty much since the birth of son Sean Preston late last year. The singer, who is pregnant again, recently lashed out at Federline on her website, posting a picture of herself posing with a rude hand gesture.

The photo appeared under a poem entitled "Remembrance Of Who I Am," which is very likely aimed at her 28-year old backup dancer/aspiring rapper/WT spouse. The verse, believed to be written by Spears, asks "How do you stand sleeping at night," and goes on to describe how "manipulated," tied down and "swallowed" she feels.

This news is, indeed, hard to swallow. Not unlike Federline himself. Hopefully Britney can let out some frustrations at the gym this week, where she is reportedly spending a lot of time in preparation for a new CD.