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People are just lining up to take shots at Britney Spears.

The latest is Saturday Night Live's sassy news anchor, Amy Poehler, who seemed to speak for all of America on last weekend's episode in reciting a serious vagina monologue of sorts - one directed at the exhibitionist Mrs. Federline and other Hollywood actresses seemingly dedicated to pants-free living.

Hottest Britney Spears Picture

In reference to the infamous nude Britney Spears pictures from November, when the pop star was caught baring all during one of her many clubbing ventures with that tramp Paris Hilton, Amy had this to say during SNL's mid-show "Weekend Update" segment:

"Speaking of Britney Spears, I'd just like to take a minute to address this latest trend: flashing your business while coming and/or leaving a limosine. Ladies, you need to cool it. Nobody wants to see your baby factory... What's next? Shots of stars pooping out of a window?

And lastly, ladies, what's up with all the deforestation going on down there? You need hair down there! It's a backup system for underwear! Even when you're showing it, you're not really showing it! There was a time when a lady garden was as big as a slice of New York pizza. Then it turned into an upside down John Waters mustache!"

Wow. Typical Amy Poehler. So wrong... yet right on target and not unfunny. Never has someone gone on an anti-crotch shot rant quite like this.

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Now Britney Spears is stripping.

The sexy singer, who's already shown us that she occasionally goes out in no pants, has reportedly been pole-dancing with her new best friend, Paris Hilton. Britney's slutty BFF has been giving her private lessons in her home, reports say.

The Circus Continues

"Britney and Paris went upstairs where she fitted her in a blue tutu, and then Paris put on a matching tutu," a source told the London Star. "They then went downstairs and danced at Paris' in-house stripper pole. Britney loves her new moves and can't wait to get a fella and test them out."

Yes, that's right. Apparently so many people go to her Hollywood house in hopes of seeing Paris Hilton's pussy that the hotel heiress went and had a stripper pole installed.

Meanwhile, Hilton has been spotted stroking Spears' thigh, leading some to believe that they were planning a same-sex gesture at the Billboard Music Awards, but the two have since pulled out of hosting duties.

"Maybe they were going to reprise the stunt Britney and Madonna pulled," says a source, referring to the kiss at the 2003 MTV VMAs, "but they decided that it was so three years ago."

While his estranged wife is out gallivanting and providing us with graphically nude Britney Spears pictures we can't even decide if we like, it seems more and more as if Fed-Ex is the one with his head on straight. I know, we can't believe we said that either.

A source says Kevin Federline has been content to steer clear of Britney's craziness and has been busy decorating his sons' new nursery.

"He's setting up his new house in the Hollywood Hills and he's required to provide ‘adequate space' for the two kids when they visit," according to a friend.

"He's spending $25,000 on the nursery and he's having both boys' rooms done in a circus theme, complete with murals of clowns and elephants."

The source says he's even shelling out big bucks to have custom-made cribs built, one for Sean Preston that looks like a lion and one that looks like an elephant for little Jayden James. Maybe they should be spending more time there than we would have hoped for a few weeks ago. At least until mom decides it's time to stop whoring around.

Brit is seriously close to forcing us over to Team K-Fed. Is this really happening?

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It broke our hearts to take down the Britney Spears sex tape poll, which was still too close to call even after more than 1,100 of you weighed in. But it was time for a change... and our newest poll still includes Mrs. Federline. Yes, it's time to review the various BFFs of Paris Hilton. This girl drops friends paster than Britney drops her pants.

First, Paris dumped Nicole Richie for Kimberly Stewart. Then she traded in Kimberly for Kim Kardashian. Now Kim's out of the picture, and Britney Spears is Hilton's newest BFF. And Nicole is kinda back in the picture as well (unless she stands to the side, in which case she is two-dimensional and more or less invisible - but that's neither here nor there).

Kim Kardashian in Paris

 

So which Hollywood ho would you pick for Paris to pal around with? Comment below and vote in T.H. Gossip's official poll (right). It's a tough call. Without Paris, you might never have heard of two of these "stars." And there definitely would never have been a Britney Spears crotch shot. Just stuff to keep in mind as you make your choice.

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Britney Spears was at it again over the weekend, celebrating her 25th birthday in panties (thankfully), with back-up dancers and D-list posse in tow.

The incomparable pop star spend the big night with - who else - new BFF Paris Hilton, and they added another third wheel to the ho train, at least for Saturday - Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas. No Josh Duhamel, though. Sadly.

Officer Spears

Sources say Brit chowed down at Mr. Chow's with her manager, Larry Rudolph, then met up with Paris and Fergie at - where else - Hyde, and pranced "hand in hand" around the club until past 2 AM.

At dinner, the party animal went out of her way to show off her assets -- but this time, it was definitely intentional. Rocking a skintight dress that barely covered her nether region, Britney situated herself right next to a giant glass window at the club, and before she even sat down, played to the salivating photographers by shaking that booty!

She gave the crowd one hell of a view (see below, click to enlarge). You will notice, though, that she's actually wearing panties. Nice work, Brit! You can be taught!

Britney's new crew also included Paris' publicist, Elliot Mintz, her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos, and greasy oil heir Brandon Davis. Apparently the tipsy pop star failed to acknowledge her new friends quickly enough, so Paris made it a point to stop by and say hello.

No sign of Kim Kardashian, of course. Paris straight up shined that b!tch, yo.

Brit's ex-boyfriend, Justin Timberlake, resisted the urge to hold another dance-off when he and his party of back-up dancers arrived and were seated a few yards away from Britney.

While the newly-single star got her drink on, Justin hit the dance floor where he surrounded himself with his crew -- which happened to include several of Kevin Federline's pals.

After closing down the joint, Britney's boys (including So You Think You Can Dance judge and former Spears choreographer, Brian Friedman, below) escorted her out and to a nearby Jack in the Box restaurant where they picked up some grub before heading off to a friend's house.

All in all, it sounds like a terrific, fun birthday bash. No new nude Britney Spears pictures, no disorderly conduct charges filed, not even any notable cat fights to be reported. Just girls night out, yo. Holla!

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Since Britney Spears announced her split from husband Kevin Federline, their respective ex-husband and baby's mama have come out of the woodwork- the former claiming that he received a thinly-veiled threat from the pretty, sometimes pants-less pop princess.

Another Britney Spears Concert Photo

Britney's 55-hour ex-husband, Jason Alexander, appeared with K-Fed's baby mama, Shar Jackson (really, this happened) on "The Dr. Ablow Show," where Alexander revealed a not-so-startling secret.

He claims Britney contacted him by leaving a voicemail saying, "Don't say anything you'd regret." The irony? This is, presumably, just the behavior she was warning against. Alexander is also planning on writing a tell-all book about Spears, and what it was like to get freaky with her and whatnot, so maybe she meant that. So who knows.

The unfortunately named Shar Jackson, who bore two kids with the K-Hole before he ditched her for someone richer and hotter, reportedly fed Fed on Thanksgiving after Brit threw his ass out on the street.

Despite being scorned, she's on Team Kevin now. Shar believes Kevin fears Britney will steal their children (Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline) away from him, saying, "He's scared Britney might take his kids and go to Louisiana and he might never see them."

Come on. Would Mr. Playing With Fire actually care?

When asked for her feelings on K-Fed's "rap career," Shar politely danced around it, never giving her opinion and just wishing him luck. Very coy. Not unlike Kendra Jade vaguely, sort-of denying she had a marriage-wrecking affair with the K-Hole.

The full interview with the two exes airs on Monday ... check your local listings for the time and channel of this show no one has heard of.

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A couple of dudes on Britney Spears' payroll acted as her reinforcements in Hollywood on Thursday night.

A pair of former Britney Spears backup dancers and her tour choreographer accompanied the newly-single star and party animal into Area nightclub in Los Angeles, where they met up with the rest of the Ho Train - also known as the unholy triumvirate of pain - Paris Hilton and Firecrotch Lindsay Lohan.

Back in the U.S. of A.

While Brit can be seen holding hands with one of the guys, the two are just friends (see pictures below). Same with her and Brandon Davis. At least we hope to God that this is the case.

Britney, Lindsay and Paris spent the night going buck - wild, that is, not naked. Although would you have been surprised? T.H. Gossip certainly would not have been. Spears has clearly gone wild after filing for divorce from Kevin Federline last month, leaving us worried that she's in need of some counseling.

The problem is, anyone who might be close enough to tell Britney to get things in order is also on the payroll, thus not wanting to bite the hand that feeds them, so to speak.

Her mother, Lynne, who's being supported by her daughter, has all but given up trying to get Brit to shape up. Father Jamie, meanwhile, has always stayed in the shadows.

Then there's sister Jamie Lynn Spears, who may look a lot like Kristin Cavallari, but is of no help to big sis at this stage. And forget about Brit's first ex-husband, Jason Alexander. That relationship clearly went sour. He's writing a book about her, though.

Could K-Fed have actually been a steadying force in her life, or is this wild streak a direct response to his banging the living hell out of Kendra Jade - or simply acting like a complete ass clown for the 25 months they've been married?

Maybe a little of both. Ultimately, says one source close to the family, "The only person that can stop Britney is Britney."

Don't count on that happening tonight, seeing that tomorrow (December 2) is Brit's birthday. The clubbing is bound to be off the chain tonight! We just pray we aren't treated to a new collection of nude Britney Spears pictures come morning. Our guess is that was a one-time deal, but we're not sure what to expect at this point.

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Britney Spears' first husband, Jason Alexander, is writing a tell-all book about their 55 hours of wedded bliss, as well as what it was like to grow up with the star in Louisiana.

Yes, the book will talk about how Jason tapped that ass (or, as he likes to call it, practiced makin' critters). And yes, Britney Spears knows about the book. And yes, it will upset her.

Britney Spears, Pink Bikini

"Britney knows about it," Alexander said of his literary work. "There are things in the book that will upset her. It does feature having sex with her and what that was like."

Presumably, Mr. Alexander agreed to this here book deal before everyone else saw Britney Spears nude as well. Some publisher is kicking itself right now.

Jason and Britney married in Las Vegas in January 2004 and annulled the marriage less than three days later. We've gotten ahold of some bits and pieces from the book below.

We especially enjoy where he notes that Spears married that ass clown Kevin Federline because he was simply "in the right place at the right time."

As if he is one to talk, really.

On his feelings for Britney:

"I have always loved her and I always will. It's best for everyone that Kevin and her have split. She is much more confident now."

On her marriage to K-Fed:
"He's just a lucky guy who was in the right place at the right time. When I married her I knew she was rich but I did love her. I wanted her. If she had stuck with me it would have been so positive."

On Britney's kids:
"I am really surprised at the speed at which they had [Sean Preston and Jayden James] �" but it has always been a matter of time."

On Britney Spears' plastic surgery:
"She had a tummy tuck after the birth of her second child. She's working on all of that. She's worth hundreds of millions �" of course she looks good."

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Who's the mysterious putz in this picture of Britney Spears? It's Brandon Davis! The professional partygoer and oil heir hung out with our girl last night in Los Angeles.

Guess with Paris Hilton nowhere in sight, Britney had to settle for a D-list sidekick. The pop star train wreck chilled at the Roosevelt Hotel yesterday, and while there were (thankfully) no nude Britney Spears pictures to be had, she brought a long a particularly pathetic posse fronted by none other than Brandon Davis. See below:

Jayden James Federline and Britney

Seems to us there's a correlation between Paris Hilton's presence and female genitalia being flashed and slung around like nobody's business.

In any case, T.H. Gossip, like the rest of the civilized world, is happy Britney has dumped Kevin Federline and is out and having fun these days. But seriously now. Surely she can find some better people to hang out with than this loser. He was the first to term Lindsay Lohan "Firecrotch," however, so we gotta give props where they're due.

Speaking of the elder Lohan sister, the third member of last week's Hollywood ho train could not be reached for comment.

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It appears as if the sight of nude Britney Spears pictures plastered all over the web has sent a message to even the pop princess herself.

Britney Spears, Jason Trawick Pic

Yes, forgetting to put underwear on before going to clubs and being hounded by paparazzi is probably not the smartest of moves. So, determined not to let this tragedy happpen again, Britney Spears (right) actually put on normal jeans and visited Le Bra Lingerie in L.A.

There she picked up some badly-needed items for her unmentionables, shown to the world up close and personal and in almost disturbing detail a day ago.

Numerous sources report she spent more than $3,000 on thongs and other fancy underthings, a price tag that would rival Katie Holmes' recent spending spree at the same location.

That's an absurd amount of money to spend on things that are just going to end up on the floor of the ladies room anyway. Of course, it's a little less crazy for Katie, who got them for her honeymoon with Tom Cruise, than for Britney, who's just trying to look good for that tramp Paris Hilton.

Specifically, Brit charged up a camisole and thong for $1,315, a bustier and thong for $510, a black corset and matching red thong for $300, and a yellow bra and thong for $333. Britney, whose breasts measure 36C, came in with a female friend and was overheard saying "I could live here."

So could we.

Meanwhile, a London tabloid reports that Jason Alexander is writing a tell-all book about Britney. Somehow he seems to have the scoop on everything she does, including a tummy tuck after Jayden James Federline was born.

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The saga continues for Britney Spears.

We knew she was about to get down and dirty in an ugly, messy divorce, and that she has made it clear that she's willing whatever it takes to make sure Kevin Federline can't claim another cent -- even if that means giving away Jayden James Federline pictures for free.

Britney Video Twitpic

But we thought she could still afford underwear.

Apparently, in Britney's world, party time (ex-cellent!) means panties are optional. We've seen nude Britney Spears pics before, but these take it to another level. We are talking full-on, shaved crotch shots, people. She is officially out of her pants - and mind. Then again, should we really be surprised? The girl is hanging out with Paris Hilton, after all.

Out of basic decency and respect for Britney, we've covered up the explicit portions of the pics below. But our image gallery still speaks volumes. Behold, a THG photo essay of the newly-single Britney Spears... (click to enlarge)

TOP ROW: Here we see Britney Spears getting pumped up for a night on the town - literally! She's certainly got mad skillz at the pump, unlike that elitist Oprah Winfrey (sorry, Big O). To the right, Brit's terrified son, Sean Preston, is carried by mom while trying to feel up Paris Hilton. It's a position we all know and love.

MIDDLE ROW: Last weekend, Britney was spotted in a green top showing off her absolutely enormous breasts. Not that we're complaining. She looks a tad strung out, though. She should probably sleep more. It only gets worse. On the right, we have a pants-less Spears swarmed by paparazzi. We hate pants too, Brit, but come on. You have to know this is coming when you go out to bars, right?

BOTTOM CROTCH ROW: Captured by photographers at the most inopportune time, Britney was either in the middle of changing outfits during her clubbing romp... or just looking to get romped by a photographer. Seriously. Don't you put on your clothes before opening the door? Or before going out in public at all?

We know Britney has to get some partying out of her system after such a rough marriage, but use your brain, girl. You're making Anna Nicole Smith look smart.

Britney Spears Biography

Britney Spears: Harper's Bazaar Style Wow. Britney Spears is ... just.... OMG. Wow. Just wow. With this girl, that's about all we can say at this point. Once the biggest... More »
Born
Birthplace
Kentwood, Louisiana
Full Name
Britney Jean Spears

Britney Spears Quotes

I miss it here so much! I love it so much! It makes me it's kinda like bittersweet coming here because I used to live here for two years. And when I come here, it's like, man, I wish I had my apartment here still.

Britney Spears [on New York City]

MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?

Britney Spears
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