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Fed(ex) up.

That's what Kevin Federline is with his estranged wife, according to TMZ and a number of other sources who say the aspiring rapper is worried and pissed off about her hard-partying ways.

Lucky Jayden

Now even he's telling Britney Spears to check her sometimes-covered ass into rehab, STAT - if only for the sake of their kids.

According to both Star magazine and MSNBC, Federline has tried to work "every angle" to get the commando queen to chill the f*%k out and get some help, but it clearly hasn't helped.

First, he threatened taking the kids away via his lawyer. When that didn't work and he had to settle for a temporary custody deal, he resorted to begging.

Finally, Federline even tried to get his mother-in-law, Lynne Spears, to join the fight against the hard-drinking crotch shot crusader. No word on whether he has touched base with Pamela Anderson about making a special plea to Spears.

"He's afraid she's going to hurt herself," says a friend.

For K-Fed, apparently, it's now all about Sean Preston and Jayden James.

"They're being raised by strangers," said the source.

Amazing that, for all the bashing of K-Fed we do, he's sure looking like the better half of Spederline these days. While Britney's out partying all night with new man Isaac Cohen and pounding Red Bull to stay awake by day (below, left), K-Fed is just doing his thing, starring in a new commercial and on the WWE as a recurring character / nuisance. He even shows concern for his kids. Stunning.

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Bodog Entertainment, the online betting enterprise that recently brought us odds on which celebrity would be involved in a DUI arrest, has just posted the official odds something even more intriguing:

Who will be the father Britney Spears' next child?!

Old Skool Britney

Is your life so utterly devoid of excitement that you'd consider putting money on it? We sure would. Here are the primary contenders, and the opening lines, courtesy of, with the photo below of another one of Britney's heinous outfits courtesy of

Perez Hilton (a.k.a. Mario Lavandeira): 100/1
Brandon Davis (a.k.a. Greasy Bear): 12/1
Former President Bill Clinton: 20/1
President George W. Bush: 28/5
Kevin Federline: 13/3
Mel Gibson: 31/1
Justin Timberlake: 11/2
Isaac Cohen: 5/3
Hugh Hefner: 12/1
Larry Rudolph: 11/5

Personally, we like George W. Bush as a dark horse, although he's going to have his hands full ousting some of the favorites. Kind of surprising that his oversexed predecessor, Bill Clinton, is more of a long shot. We shudder to think how Paris Hilton, Spears' former BFF, would react if her pal Brandon Davis knocked Brit up.

As far as the favorites go, you can never count out FedEx (those boys can swim!), or TimberlakeEx, now that Cameron Diaz is out of the picture. It's interesting that Isaac Cohen, Britney's current boyfriend, is running just about neck-and-neck with her manager, Larry Rudolph, who's seen with her just about as often.

Both Cohen and Rudolph, who may be the worst manager ever, given Brit's slide in terms of public opinion, have shown they're adept at handing the kids she already has, so both would seem likely to impregnate her soon. Well, likely compared to freaking Perez Hilton at least. That mofo likes dudes!

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Britney Spears checked up on - who else - herself, peeping a copy of Us Weekly at a Santa Monica convenience store Thursday. Sadly, there were no print copies of The Hollywood Gossip at that store. Next time, Brit!

The mother of Sean Preston and Jayden James was spotted after dropping off some laundry nearby. Sources say she even did some work on her new album, too.

Britney: 2-on-1

We don't want to jump the gun here, but it sounds like a fairly normal, uneventful day in Britney land! Which can only be a positive change of pace, after all those Vegas jaunts and wild nights. Let Paris Hilton do her thing, girl. Just be yourself.

Needless to say, the Britster read all about herself and new beau Isaac Cohen. The edition of the magazine was probably printed too early to contain any jokes about the trip to the laundromat she was in the midst of, however.

Wait, before you go, we have one! "Well, we know this won't take long... good thing you decided no pants was the way to go last year, right Britney?" [wait for laughter] Is this thing on? Hello? Testing...

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These friendships simply aren't built to last.

First, Britney Spears was barred from appearing in an NFL Super Bowl ad because organizers had already secured Paris Hilton for the spot.

BS Picture

Now the crazy commando clubber has been kicked off the invite list to the Vienna Opera Ball in favor of her former BFF, MSNBC's The Scoop reports today.

Originally the horrible hotel heiress was scheduled to attend the event - the highlight of Austria's social season - with Spears, since they were such good friends and all. But after the pair had a falling out and broke up, an event that no one on Earth saw coming, one of the crotch shot queens had to be yanked.

After much deliberation (from people who somehow don't have better things to worry about), it was Mrs. Kevin Federline who was taken off the invite list.

Hilton is reportedly receiving $1 million for attending, and is the personal guest of wealthy industrialist Richard Lugner, 74, and his socialite wife Christina.

"She is a very good advertisement for the Opera Ball," Richard Lugner explained.

THG NOTE: We assume Courtney Love had a prior engagement.

And why was Britney Spears disinvited?

Christina offered: "They unfortunately do not get along anymore."

What will Britney be doing instead?

We have no idea. But we're sure it involves a lot of clubbing, a healthy dose of Isaac Cohen and absolutely no pictures of Jayden James.

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Oops... did she do it again?

No. And we don't mean throwing up on Isaac Cohen.

Spears On the Move

Britney Spears' friends reportedly believed that the walking baby factory may be - wait for it - pregnant. Again. Granted, that's according to In Touch Weekly, a less than reliable source. But would it shock you if it were true?

Exactly. Her friends' concerns may help to explain why Spears seems not to have lost all of her pregnancy weight, as well as why she has been getting sick lately. In one widely circulated photo, Spears was shown throwing up peanut butter and reports said she had been drinking.

But according to In Touch Weekly, Spears has been skipping the booze.

"Her dancers were indulging in Malibu rum and pineapple drinks and taking shots of vodka," a witness to a January 14 party at a Las Vegas casino told the magazine. "But Britney drank bottled water."

Spears gave birth to her second child, Jayden James Federline, only four months ago â€" but friends point out that she got pregnant for the second time only three months after having her first child, son Sean Preston Federline.

"I've seen her during the last two pregnancies and she has the same look now," a pal who sees Britney every week reportedly told the mag. "She's heavier, but that's not all. It's the sparkle in her eye. She gets that sparkle when she's pregnant, like she's relaxed and happy."

Sure thing, there, In Touch.

That's why Britney Spears' manager, Larry Rudolph, tells Us Weekly exclusively that "Britney is not pregnant," calling the recent tabloid reports claiming that Spears is expecting "absurd."

We hope you never believed this utter nonsense. But if you did, it would undoubtedly lead to the obligatory question: Who's your daddy?

Seriously, would it be by her new man? This Larry Rudolph guy (who might be the worst manager in history by the way). FedEx? That greaseball J.R. Rotem? Stomp The Yard star Columbus Short? Who!?

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In terms of physical appearance, Britney Spears' new man, Isaac Cohen, may be a dead ringer for her estranged ex. We're talking an even stronger resemblance than Lauren Conrad and Christine Taylor here.

But in terms of personality, the Britster's new bandana-wearing bad boy with a love of facial hair and extra-large pants couldn't be more different than Kevin Federline.

Britney Spears, Family

Which is probably not a bad thing.

Isaac Cohen, an actor and model who has gone public as Spears' man ever since a steamy boat ride early this month, has appeared in a national McDonald's ad as well as Payless commercials.
Yes, we know K-Fed is starring in a new ad campaign, but Cohen actually has reputation for responsibility and professionalism.

He even proved himself to be a true gentleman on January 14 when he lent the singer his sport coat to wear during a chilly date to the Cirque du Soleil show in Las Vegas (above).

That may not have been enough to stop her from booting all over him, but that's neither here nor there.

They're going strong. But does this hot new Hollywood couple, who met in late December through her choreographer, Brian Friedman, have what it takes to make it last?

Friends say that Cohen's unassuming, respectful personality suits the 25-year-old mother of Sean Preston and Jayden James well.

"They love the same things: partying, drinking, watching TV and just going crazy together," says a friend of Britney Spears. "She also likes that he is the strong, silent type."

"He gives her all the control but is a bad boy who will protect her," adds the source. And it also helps that he has taken to her kids.

A Cohen friend has another good thing to say about the mystery man:

"He is totally willing to help out and even changes the diapers."

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You have to hand it to Britney Spears for getting back on the horse.

No, we're not talking about shooting heroin... at least we don't think so. In any case, just weeks after the singer's New Year's debacle at Pure nightclub in Vegas (where Spears reportedly got so bombed that she collapsed and needed to be escorted out after midnight), Britney hit up the same joint last weekend.

Still Wearing the Ring

What's more, she even stayed on her feet - an impressive feat for the very troubled pop superstar.

Unfortunately, Spears didn't seem so lucky just a few nights earlier, when paparazzi caught up with her outside the L.A. hotspot Teddy's, where - if you believe a lot of reports - she was blowing chunks. Hard.

Luckily for Brit, new boy toy Isaac Cohen was able to catch the mess before it even it the ground. Chivalry lives!

According to Spears' bodyguards, however, the mysterious substance seen on Isaac Cohen's hand was not vomit, just peanut butter. Because, as 50 Cent would agree, you gotta lay the smack down on a fine PB&J after a long night at da club.

Is it vomit? Is it just peanut butter? Will her new boyfriend soon grow tired of this crap? Is the guy seen with Britney in the picture above the biggest tool you have ever seen? Will the girl ever just spend a quiet night at home with Sean Preston and Jayden James?

We may never know for sure. But we will certainly keep you abreast. As for rumors that Isaac Cohen is as gay as the chorus to Chris Daughtry's "It's Not Over" (at least in Melissa Joan Hart's estimation), sources say that's simply not true - and that he and Britney can't keep their hands off each other. Nice!

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We're always excited when we see Sean Preston Federline.

Sure, he's a cutie - but there are a ton of celebrity babies out there. In terms of adorableness, Sean P. is middle of the road. But it's reassuring to see that he hasn't been dropped on his head and left incapacitated, or abandoned altogether by his clubbing-crazed, sometimes pants-eschewing mother, Britney Spears.

Jayden James and Britney Spears Picture

In these pictures below, Brit was actually seen in the same place as Sean Preston - no small feat, considering her antics since filing for divorce from Kevin Federline.

The other day, they were spotted with her manager, Larry Rudolph, buying a new dog for Britney - who absolutely had to have something new to not take care of.

While these look blatantly staged by Brit's peeps as part of her "image makeover" (and suffer from a disturbing lack of Isaac Cohen) here are some cute pics:

Naturally, there's a random dude carrying Sean in one of the pictures, not Britney. But at least they had some fun on the swings. Now if we could just see some pictures of Jayden James, we'd be really excited...

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Looks like Britney Spears and Isaac Cohen have taken their newfound romance to new heights.


Steamy Scene

The lovebirds shacked up at the Fantasy Tower suite at The Palms in Las Vegas.

The troubled singer and her new boy toy stayed in the tower's $40,000-a-night, two-story Hugh Hefner Sky Villa on Saturday - a pad that includes a Jacuzzi pool, a glass elevator, a full bar, and (best of all for Brit) an eight-foot rotating bed.

"They seem very happy together," says a source who spotted the two, who started dating in the past month.

When asked if there were any nude Britney Spears pictures taken, or if there were any crotch shots flashed, hotel officials declined comment.

The trip was Spears' first appearance in Las Vegas since hosting a party at Pure nightclub on New Year's Eve, where, depending on who you believe, she either passed out drunk or simply fell asleep shortly after midnight.

It was a much different scene Saturday night. Isaac Cohen, the 25-year-old model and actor who's been spotted with Brit frequently in the past week, danced and smoked cigarettes with his chick at 8½, a gay club off the Strip before leaving after about an hour.

This is the second weekend in a row that Britney Spears has been seen with this new hunky mystery man. On January 6 they hung out on a boat off Marina del Rey, outside L.A., and the next night met up at the W Hotel's Whiskey Blue bar in Westwood.

During that encounter, Britney was spotted looking a little incoherent (see below), but she was seen pounding spring water, so maybe it's just a bad picture. Speaking of bad pictures, take a gander at this one of Isaac Cohen from his official MySpace page.

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She and Isaac Cohen may be hitting it off, but earlier this week, he was nowhere in sight as Britney Spears spent the afternoon tooling around L.A. and visiting a Bel-Air pet store with her manager, Larry Rudolph.

Amazingly, little Sean Preston Federline, age 16 months, actually went with his party animal mother somewhere. Of course, he was carried by Rudolph, not by mom herself.

Peekin' at Brit

With Britney's recent antics, you knew it was only a matter of time until Sean Preston and Jayden James are started wondering who this crazy blonde is who shows up every couple of weeks is. See below.

Yup, we'd probably be wondering the same if we were Sean Preston. To think that all this time, we thought Kevin Federline was going to be the bad parent. Live and learn.

With Rudolph toting Sean P., Brit reportedly picked up a new dog, Snow White - for the price of $3,200. S-Dubs bears an uncanny resemblance to her previous pooch, Bit-Bit.

So let's recap here. She spends two months going buck wild and traipsing around L.A. commando style. Then Britney claims on her official site that she's ready to turn over a new leaf to direct her focus on work and family. But since then, all she's done is party more, wear ridiculous outfits and embark on a steamy boat ride.

Now, she's decided that since she's sitting at home bored all the time with nothing to do, she should really get a new dog - even though she can't even be bothered to hold her own child. Marvelous. Hopefully this new boyfriend striaghtens her out!

Britney Spears Biography

Britney Spears: Harper's Bazaar Style Wow. Britney Spears is ... just.... OMG. Wow. Just wow. With this girl, that's about all we can say at this point. Once the biggest... More »
Kentwood, Louisiana
Full Name
Britney Jean Spears

Britney Spears Quotes

I miss it here so much! I love it so much! It makes me it's kinda like bittersweet coming here because I used to live here for two years. And when I come here, it's like, man, I wish I had my apartment here still.

Britney Spears [on New York City]

MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?

Britney Spears
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