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Ah, those big sunglasses.

All celebrities seem to have them, and look absolutely absurd wearing them. Some stars, such as the Olsen Twins, look ridiculous no matter what - we will grant you that. But the huge-ass shades, which are sometimes donned even at night (talking to you, J.R. Rotem) make morons out of even the most good-looking stars.

Britney and Jayden Photo

There's no end in sight for this fashion trend, though. That much as blatantly obvious as we take look at four Hollywood stars' sunglasses:

After returning to Los Angeles earlier in the week, a jet-setting Jessica Simpson (top left) gets ready to head back east, possibly to meet up with John Mayer, who sucks. Meanwhile, Paris Hilton (bellow right) manages to go about her business despite getting canned by her own night club, shopping 'til she drops in Beverly Hills on Friday.

Working actress Sienna Miller (top right) clocked in more time at Heathrow Airport in London on Thursday, while the incomparable Britney Spears (bottom left) hit up a Santa Monica beach hotel for some badly-needed R&R. Who's got the most ridiculous shades? Who's outfit needs to be tossed in the trash? You be the judge.

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Apparently, Britney Spears' hotly-debated New Year's Eve nap and subsequent exit might've cost her a staggering $400,000.

According to the New York Daily News, the pop princess, who just reached a temporary custody agreement with FedEx, won't be getting her six-figure appearance fee promised her from Pure nightclub in Las Vegas because instead of carrying out her obligation to the club, she had to be carried out by staff.

Britney Spears Cosmo Cover

What's more, Britney's official story - that she was tired and simply fell asleep - is making the club "furious" because it suggests that the joint is a snoozefest. Of course, we all know that's total bull$h!t and she really passed out drunk, so maybe the party was totally awesome!

In any case, TMZ refutes the Daily News' claim, with sources stating that Britney, who issued a statement saying she is cleaning up her act, won't be docked for her behavior at da club. Sources also say the fee was actually less than $200K, and that the club is thrilled with her - after all, any publicity is good publicity, right?

In other news involving Mrs. Kevin Federline, a post on the Miami Craigslist board has been flagged and removed after falsely advertising a new Britney Spears reality show. The bogus show was to focus on rebuilding Brit's tarnished image. Here's what the post read before it was taken down:

---------------------

In cooperation with Zomba Films and MTV films, LCAA prodcutions is working on a new reality contest for a major network.

Britney Spears is getting ready for a big comeback.

"The last couple of years have been quite a ride for me, the media has criticized my every move and printed a skewed perception of who I really am as a human being," the 25-year-old pop star says.

Her goal?

"I want to show my fans and critics that I'm coming back this year bigger and better than ever."

Britney Spears has agreed to open up her life again to the TV cameras. But this time, it won't be her in the spotlight. Instead, it is you! Britney is looking to surround herself with a new team. Each week, a new contestant will walk and work by her side 24 hours a day, for 5 straight days. Your job will be to give her guidance, perception and help her with comeback. For this 16 week audition/interview, we are looking for 8 males and 8 females to compete for a position on Britney's new team.

"I'm thrilled about this new chapter in my life and even more excited to involve my fans in my comeback," Britney said.

Please send a brief summary as to how you can help improve Britney Spears' image and why you are the right candidate.

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Columnist Bill Simmons of ESPN.com is a funny man. He's an extraordinary commentator and humorist on all things athletics, but the so-called Sports Guy can't hold a candle to his wife when it comes to popular culture. Here are the most recent comments of his wife, The Sports Gal, on our troubled girl Britney Spears...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is How She Rolls

I'm never surprised by the things I read about Britney anymore. She just can't get one thing right. She dresses like a tramp, chooses the wrong guys (talking to you, J.R. Rotem), wears no underwear, befriends bad people and neglects her children.

She lost everyone's respect and her public image is pretty much shot. I always knew she made a big mistake when she cheated on Justin Timberlake and now she's paying for it. The only way to restore her image and get her life back on track is to find a good man and settle down.

And that's what she's trying to do; she's just going about it the wrong way. She reminds me of the promiscuous girl in college who can't get a boyfriend because nobody wants to date the drunk who always has ripped stockings and smells like tequila.

If I were advising Britney Spears, I would tell her to ...

1. Fire her stylist, stop smoking, stop drinking, stop chewing gum, burn her entire wardrobe, then burn it again. Especially that black lace "dress" where we can see her panties and bra. Is she for real? Brit, you're a pop star, not a porn star.
2. Stop flaunting those enormous breasts. What's with the sudden Double-Ds? We know she's not breast-feeding - that would entail being in the same room with Jayden James. If those are implants, either go smaller or beat them down with a tire iron every morning.
3. Get rid of that man-stealing tramp, Paris Hilton. Paris will never allow Britney to have a good guy that she could have for herself. I'm convinced she made Britney fat with the Mean Girls trick by getting her hooked on fattening "diet" cookies. She's evil.
4. Avoid any and all men who have dated Lindsay Lohan, the Hilton sisters, Nicole Richie, Claire Danes, the Olsen Twins, and anyone slated to do a movie with Angelina Jolie.
5. Change her dating criteria to include NO dancers, NO unemployed trust-fund kids and NO men that allow their pants to dip below their anus.
6. Stay home with the kids and stay out of Las Vegas. Apparently the saying "whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" doesn't apply to Brit, because she can't spend three minutes there without us seeing a picture of her passed out or exposing her crotch.
7. Try to get back together with J.T. It's a million to one shot, but you never know.
8. Scrap tips 1-7 and just concentrate on showering and wearing underwear every day. It's a noble goal.

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The Gossip has learned that Britney Spears and her estranged husband, Kevin Federline, have mutually agreed to a custody arrangement during the month of January.

Under the terms of the agreement, filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court yesterday, Britney and Kevin will have joint legal custody of their two children, one-year-old Sean Preston and four-month-old Jayden James.

Picture of Hotness

Britney Spears will have a much greater share of physical custody, while Kevin's physical custody is extremely limited.

He will be allowed to be with the children from noon to 4:00 on Monday, Wednesday and Friday... but only at Spears' residence.

The agreement states Spears can be present, but no one may interfere with Kevin Federline's right to be with the children.

That includes any vagrants Britney might have invited over, such as J.R. Rotem or sister Jamie Lynn Spears, and certainly the disgusting Paris Hilton.

Also under the terms of the stipulation, K-Fed is allowing Spears to take the children to Miami, Fla. for a week, today through the 11th.

No agreement has been reached on the parents' custody matters after January.

In her official petition for divorce, filed in early November, Spears asked the court for sole physical and legal custody of the couple's two children.

The aspiring rapper filed a countersuit one day later, asking for the exact same thing - along with an additional stipulation that Britney must wear pants.

Okay, just kidding about that last part. He did write a vengeful note, though.

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Party-crazed media target Britney Spears has posted a new message on her official site owning up to past mistakes and thanking fans for their support.

Maybe now, as The Hollywood Gossip urged yesterday, people will look past her flaws and continue to support the star for who she is. Here's what her note below:

Britney and Jason Stroll

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Fans,

It has been a while since I've addressed you personally here on my official website. The last couple of years have been quite a ride for me, the media has criticized my every move and printed a skewed perception of who I really am as a human being.

Behind every decision I have made in my public life there always seems to be an apparent contradiction. I have come to terms with that which is why I usually don't pay much attention to it.

The last couple of years have been very enlightening for me and now that I've had the time to be "me," I've been able to sit down and think about where I want to go with myself as an entertainer with absolutely no strings attached.

I am now more mature and feel like I am finally "free."

I've been working so hard on this new album and I can't wait for you all to hear it and to go on tour again! I would like to exclusively tell you that I am working hard to release the new album sometime later this year, but the date is of course not certain yet.

I look forward to coming back this year bigger and better than ever, and to also reaching out to my fans on a more personal level.

I noticed today that one of my biggest fan sites is shutting down soon and I want you all to know that I do understand all the reasons that went behind making that decision, and I am sad to see it closing.

If I were you I'd be unhappy too if I had to read what I've been reading every day. But trust me, I get it. I know I've been far from perfect and the media has had a lot of fun exaggerating my every move, but I want you all to know that I love my fans so much, and I appreciate everything you have done for me, so Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Love,
Britney

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So does this mean no more nude Britney Spears pictures? If not, we're okay with that. She needs to figure herself out, which she seems to be focused on, according to this message. Maybe, instead of revealing shots of the commando queen, we'll be treated to something more wholesome - like Jayden James pictures! That and a new album would possibly make 2007 the best year of all time.

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After passing out drunk, er, due to exhaustion, and being taken out of her New Year's Eve party at Las Vegas club Pure, the last thing the incomparable Britney Spears needs is more stress.

But rumors are circulating that Spears is in danger of getting axed by her music label, Jive Records. Sleuth Cindy Adams' reports that Jive execs are deciding whether or not to drop the new Britney album - and maybe Britney altogether.

The Circus

Spears spent hours in Jive's New York studios last month, but produced sub-par tracks that failed to meet the label's approval. In addition, her hard-partying ways have damaged her image.

Spears' manager, Larry Rudolph, insisted yesterday that she'd revamp her image and continue to record, citing her "rocky period" as an excuse for her behavior. But some believe the album will never hit shelves.

"Like the rest of us, Jive is done with Britney Spears," a music industry insider dished.

Jive, however, denied the story, releasing a statement saying its "status with Britney Spears is fine... she continues to be one of our biggest worldwide artists and we remain 1,000 percent committed to her career."

Regardless of whether she's losing her record label, it looks more and more like Britney may be losing her mind. The New York Post reports that as the soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Kevin Federline left L.A.'s hip Italian eatery Dolce, she was overheard mumbling, "I love myself, I love myself."

When a gawker told her she looked "beautiful," the party girl screeched, "I love you for saying that!" She then celebrated the pat on the back by partying the night away at hotspot Le Deux. Awesome.

THG NOTE: Given this image we came across from yesterday, we're not sure if that onlooker was talking to the right person. Not one of the best Britney Spears pictures ever taken, that's for sure:

Also, the National Enquirer is reporting a Britney anecdote from late last year that is probably complete bull$h!t, but nonetheless believable, given who we're talking about - and not entirely unfunny.

According to the trashy tabloid, Britney was tricked by Paris Hilton into thinking she had jeopardized her chances of ever having an orgasm again - after the Brister got so faded that she lit the wrong end of a cigarette.

Paris apparently told her that would damage her ability to climax.

"'Oh my God! Don't you know that lighting a cigarette the wrong way and inhaling stops the blood flow to your private parts, and doing it more than once means you may never have an orgasm again!?"

Britney was horrified and ran around for about 10 minutes asking everyone in sight, including Lindsay Lohan, if they had ever heard that, before Paris admitted she was kidding.

Wow. And you wonder where blonde jokes come from. It was not specified whether the two had no pants on during the alleged incident.

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We know she's a party animal who's had her share of recent mishaps, but has Britney Spears' career officially jumped the shark?

That's the question asked by various gossip sites and major media outlets this week, as Americans wonder if the negative publicity associated with Spears' wild partying has sunk her to irreparable depths as fans scorn her.

Britney Spears, Good Morning America Concert

After all, if you're a young woman, there's nothing worse than to party a lot, hook up with guys and become an exhibitionist commando queen.

Think about it. She could cheat on her husband while still married with Sean Preston and Jayden James at home and not be subjected to this kind of scrutiny. They'd say K-Fed deserved it. She could become a full-blown drug addict and people would give her a free pass. It's tough to handle fame in the spotlight, after all! Right, Tara Conner?

But to fans, there's nothing worse than being a slut - or perceived as a slut. This month, the singer's largest fan site, World of Britney, will close down. Last week, students voted Spears the most ill-mannered celeb of 2006. Spears split in October with her publicist, and her record label's spokeswoman left in late December.

World of Britney founder, Ruben Garay, says he has no doubt that, if her music is good, a career comeback is not only possible, but will likely be successful. Spears is working on an album and may release a single this summer.

But she might want to make a move before then, public-image experts say. After all, it will take a lot to undo the damage done by the late-2006 deluge of nude and nearly nude Britney Spears pictures.

"If she were to make some apologies now, it would work in her favor to redeem her persona," says Boston publicist Evangelia Souris.

Spears' original appeal with fans, Garay says, was that she came from a small town and worked hard to succeed. But in 2006, the gap with fans widened considerably. The final straw for Garay was not the pics of Brit clubbing in no pants, but the fact that Spears was a no-show in October for a scheduled meet-and-greet with fans.

That was about the time students nationwide started voting for the best-mannered stars in an annual poll by the National League of Junior Cotillions. In a rare move, the ill-mannered category was added. Spears won by a large margin, with fans stating, unequivocally, that she lowered the standards for civility and morality.

But is she really any different than most 25-year-olds? The eschewing of pants is a bit extreme, but we all make bad decisions. Celebrities like Katie Rees might be stripped of her Miss Nevada crown over some naughty pictures taken four years ago, but she shouldn't be stripped of all respect. She's only human, and if we were all judged strictly by our worst moments as teens, we'd all look pretty awful.

T.H. Gossip believes there's nothing wrong with partying and getting your fade on. We will defend Britney any day of the week - but that's not going to be enough for the singer to regain the trust of her fans, however unfair they might be towards her. Hopefully, she'll pull it together - not for us, because we accept her no matter what, but for her own sake, so she's happier with herself.

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The Britney Spears pictures we brought you yesterday don't even begin to tell the story. Well, actually they do - but they don't prove, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the Britster was sh!tfaced on New Year's Eve. This picture, however, does:

Britney's Body

T.H. Gossip would like to note that we are not critical of Britney Spears for partying, especially on New Year's. We are merely pointing out the absurdity of her people's statements that she simply fell asleep (from quote-unquote exhaustion, not boozing) at the party.

Come on now. It's New Year's Eve - and since filing for divorce from K-Fed, she's already partied hard with various D-listers and skanks, given us a nice crotch shot and hooked up with a dirtball named J.R. Rotem. At this point, what could Britney reeally do to embarrass herself? We know what we're getting, and accept it, despite its faults.

Fell asleep at the club?! Right. That happens all the time. This is almost as absurd as Bill Clinton saying he didn't inhale the marijuana he once tried, or Paris Hilton's claim that she's only slept with two guys. Unless she was just talking about this morning...

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Is Britney Spears headed for rehab?

The sexy singer who hates pants reportedly checked into an exclusive spa "for some R&R," MSNBC reports, leaving us wondering if yet another "R" â€" rehab â€" is in store.

Britney VMA Picture

At a New Year's Eve party, Spears passed out drunk fell asleep right after the clock struck midnight, causing observers to laugh hysterically fear for her well-being.

Sources confirm that Britney Spears quietly checked into Sanctuary, a spa in Arizona, on New Year's Day, according to Life & Style weekly.

"With these celebrities, exhaustion sometimes means something else and a little rest at a spa sometimes actually translates into something a little more serious," a spa source says.

THG NOTE: This spa employee is on the money - "exhaustion" often does mean something else. In Lindsay Lohan's case, it means a liter of man soup in her stomach.

Spears' manager, Tony Rudolph, couldn't be reached for comment, but numerous sources report that worried family members are urging the 25-year-old, soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Kevin Federline to seek help.

It's been heartbreaking for her family to see all these crazy Britney Spears pictures and watch her spin out of control on this downward spiral, according to a source close to the Spears clan.

Spears clearly has self-improvement somewhere on her mind: Late last month, she posted a message on her official site defending her wild partying, but admitting she "probably did take my newfound freedom a bit too far."

Then, asked if she had any New Year's resolutions by TV's Extra at her New Year's Eve party in Vegas, Spears replied:

"Stop biting my nails. Just to take care of me more."

If by that, she means passing out drunk and providing fans with more nude pictures, then we are al for it. But seriously, Britney, you should try to get it together. Merely watching this train wreck is tiring us out.

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We've gotten our hands on some new Britney Spears pictures from her New Year's party in Las Vegas, where the pop star once again made headlines. Check them out:

Little Bit of Brit

Just kidding about the one on the bottom right - we know that's an old one. But it was the best picture we could find in which Britney Spears was completely FUBAR (f*%ked up beyond all recognition), so we decided to go with it. That picture was taken late last year, back when Brit and Paris Hilton were BFFs and would go clubbing with no pants on. Those were the days.

But back to New Year's Eve and the controversy of the moment. Here's what an onlooker had to say about Britney's reported collapse, which she denies, claiming she merely fell asleep:

Before she was escorted out of Pure, the Britster counted down to midnight inside the club and said, "Happy f--king New Year! What happens in Vegas always stays in Vegas!"

THG NOTE: That's true - just ask Ron Jeremy and K-Fed's mom. Or Katie Rees. She would know - she's from Nevada! Oh, wait... guess those pics didn't exactly stay there.

Shortly thereafter, Spears headed upstairs to the club's VIP balcony and started chugging out of a Dom Pérignon bottle.

Always a classy move. Then again, this is a young woman who married Kevin Federline, so I guess we shouldn't expect anything less.

Britney Spears Biography

Britney Spears: Harper's Bazaar Style Wow. Britney Spears is ... just.... OMG. Wow. Just wow. With this girl, that's about all we can say at this point. Once the biggest... More »
Born
Birthplace
Kentwood, Louisiana
Full Name
Britney Jean Spears

Britney Spears Quotes

I miss it here so much! I love it so much! It makes me it's kinda like bittersweet coming here because I used to live here for two years. And when I come here, it's like, man, I wish I had my apartment here still.

Britney Spears [on New York City]

MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?

Britney Spears
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