Britney Spears

With her second baby's birth two months and one day away, Britney Spears has registered online for thousands of dollars worth of gifts at Petit Tresor, a posh L.A. children's store with a celebrity following.

"It's not a fake, she's having a baby shower soon and has told friends that they can order gifts from the site," a source assured MSNBC's The Scoop.

What's not a fake? The kid? No $h!t, Sherlock. The Gossip was pretty sure Brit was knocked up when we say the nude pics in Harper's Bazaar. Who do you think she is, Katie Holmes? No way Britney is with it enough to plot a faux celebrity baby birth.

The accessories and furniture on the pretty pregnant pop princess' posh registry strongly suggest that she is expecting a baby girl.

While the chandelier Spears plans to put in the poor little tike's room (no matter what deadbeat Kevin Federline says, Brit wears the pants in this house) features little airplanes, there exists a preponderance of pink and frilly ruffles among the merchandise. Then again, we've seen how well she dresses Sean Preston -- so there's really no telling what the f*%k is going on in Britney's mind at any time.

Shower guests had better be prepared to refinance their home loans. The aforementioned baby chandelier costs a whopping $1,200.

But don't hate.

"It's not like she's expecting her friends to buy everything for the baby. She's already spent, like, $30,000 at the store," the source says.

Numerous sources confirm that the wondrous Britney Spears is set to renew her wedding vows with disgrace white trash loser worthless human being husband Kevin Federline, the former backup dancer and current aspiring rapper she dubiously married in 2004.

The singer and husband will hold a ceremony this fall, shortly after the birth of their second child, rumored to be entering this cruel world on Halloween. Britney was expected to give birth next month, but Federline let it slip during a recent radio interview that his wife is planning to go into labor on Halloween day.

Appearing on DJ Ryan Seacrest's KIIS FM show, Federline told the American Idol host that his second child with Spears was due "soon," later blurting out "October 31."

When pressed about his future family plans, the fertile Federline told Seacrest that he's totally "gonna slow down for a little while, I promise," yo.

Just as when Spears birthed son Sean Preston last September 14, his cute little sibling will be arriving via caesarian section.

This is convenient, as it makes it easy for mom to plan when she wishes to crank out her offspring, and for K-Fed to blab about it on the radio. In his defense, though, he may have confused the date with that of his many other kids' birthdays.

As for their renewed vows, the couple will invite hundreds of friends and family, as Britney hopes to show the world she is happily married. Good luck with that! In honor of this occasion, we've posed a close-up shot of Britney before she became a perpetually knocked-up, dark-haired train wreck.

We're not saying she's ugly nowadays, like some assclowns have... but let's just say sometimes we long for the days of yore.

K-Fed is getting ready for his acting debut, but he hasn't forgotten about rapping just yet, With the release of his debut album, Playing with Fire, due to hit stores in October, the deadbeat complete failure multi-talented Kevin Federline is already throwing CD release parties. Here are a few pictures from the most recent one, which we came across:

The guy sure loves his Yankees... and wearing his hat cocked to the side like a f*%king retard. Meanwhile, K-Fed's loving and supportive wife, and the mother of one (soon to be two) of his three (soon to be four) kids, Britney Spears, has unloaded her Manhattan condo. She finally sold the dump after it languished on the market for more than two years -- since before her marriage to Federline and the birth of their son, Sean Preston.

The 4,400-square-foot apartment fetched $4 million, $1 million more than the pop princess paid for it four years ago, but $2 million less than her original asking price of $6 million. Still, not a bad return on investment there, Brit. See that, Kevin? That's how people make money. Investing in real estate. Not by trying to rap and looking like a complete jackass.

As recently as last May, the three bedroom, four-and-a-half bathroom, four-floor apartment -- which also has a media room, library and terrace -- had been priced at $4.55 million, Spears' real estate broker confirms. Keith Richards and hip hop mogul Russell Simmons are both prior owners. Sounds like the buyers got a bargain. Sort of.

Chris Toland of the Corcoran Group, who represented the buyers, said that his clients, whom he would not name, are from Los Angeles and are quote-unquote "not celebrities."

TRANSLATION: They're freaking losers!

Apparently K-Fed is not the only one who gets to throw back a couple of drinks with the incredible Britney Spears -- travelers to Vegas can get drunk with Brit too!

Ok, maybe not with Britney Spears, the pop princess turned actress turned wife and mother turned trailer trash train wreck herself. But you can get absolutely annihilated on about 8-9 of the cocktails called The Britney Spears, offered by a popular Sin City hot spot.

Clint Thoman, a bartender at TAO at Vegas' Venetian (the same place where Ron Jeremy porked K-Fed's mom), created the drink, which consists of Stoli Raspberry vodka, fresh raspberries, lemon wedges, sugar, sour mix and 7-Up.

Thoman tells Vegas' Celebrity Week that he got the idea to mix up the concoction because "Britney is a down home sort of girl from the south. I figured she could appreciate this."

Well, maybe once she cranks out Sean Preston's little brother or sister she can. Until then, she'll just have to wash down her Cheetos with Mountain Dew. Don't white trash people do that?

The Gossip is totally going to get housed on Britney Spears the next time we're in Vegas. Which may be never, until we can generate some more ad revenue. For now, we'll just have to settle for PBR cans and staring at our circa 1999 Brit poster. Ooga!

She's goin' country... Look at them boots

She's goin' country... Back to her roots!

She's gone country... A new kind of suit

She's gone country... here she comes!

Yeah, gone country... a new kind of walk

She's gone country... a new kind of talk

She's gone country... look at them boots

She's gone country, yeah, back to her roots!

-- Alan Jackson

The country singer would be rolling in his grave if he could see this site right now, but we couldn't resist the tribute after seeing this picture of our favorite country girl and train wreck, Britney Spears. Apparently the Louisiana native showed off her down-home charm Thursday when meeting peeps for lunch at West Hollywood restaurant Chin Chin. Bet that was awesome!

Every couple weeks, ESPN online columnist, Bill Simmons, responds to reader emails. As the Hollywood - and not the Sports - Gossip, such back and forths are typically not reported on here.

However, when one exchange involves the future of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, it's our duty to present it to our fans:

Q: After watching the train wreck of a performance from K-Fed at the Teen Choice Awards, I started to think ... is Britney Spears the Mike Tyson of the pop world? Think about it, she got on top of her game at a really young age, blew by the competition and seemed to have peaked at around 21.

Then, she breaks up with Justin Timberlake (which could be Cus D'Amato dying). Then finds K-Fed (who is a mix of Don King, the rape charge, and Buster Douglas all in one). So what's next for my former dream girl?

Simmons: I just enjoyed that you described K-Fed as "a mix of Don King, the rape charge, and Buster Douglas all in one." Sums him up perfectly. But in the spirit of your analogy, I think WrestleMania is next for her. It's the logical next step.

After she pumps out the next kid, K-Fed leaves her for her sister, her next album bombs and she files for bankruptcy for the first time, I could totally see her becoming Triple H's manager for a few weeks and hitting John Cena over the head with her purse at WrestleMania XXVI. Just feels right.

Um, remember earlier today when we reported that the Tokyo subway officials banned nude Britney Spears pics on the city's trains? Our bad.

Well, it's not really our fault, since it was true at the time. But now, following the original ban by lame government censors, who called Spears' Harper's Bazaar magazine cover "too stimulating" for young people, the city is now permitting posters of the pretty, pregnant pop princess to proceed as planned, People proclaims.

The poster of Spears, of course, is a blow-up of the cover of the August issue of Harper's Bazaar. The cover of the magazine's October Japanese edition will also feature this photo spread.

In objecting to the picture, Tokyo Metro Co.'s obscenity screening team had asked the publisher HB Japan to modify the photo, given that nudity is not accepted in ads in subway cars and stations.

During talks last month, the publisher reluctantly agreed to blacken out the image from the waist down, with the intention of plastering a message over the masked body parts reading, "In this place we are not allowed to exercise the same level of freedom of expression as the original Harper's Bazaar."

But today, Tokyo Metro said it would allow full presentation of the photo as an exception to its obscenity rule, saying it understood the publisher's intention was to portray a happy, expectant mother.

The magazine's deputy chief editor, Kayoko Higashino, who had called the initial restriction ridiculous, welcomed the decision, saying she is "glad the subway officials understood the meaning of the photo."

Spears, 24, and husband Kevin Federline, 28, are expecting their second child this fall. The couple already have an 11-month-old child, Sean Preston.

The amazing Britney Spears has been deemed "too stimulating" for the youth of Japan. Yes. We could go so many places with that, but there are other stories to report on and we haven't had enough coffee, so we'll just cut to the chase.

A poster of the recent Harper's Bazaar magazine cover that shows a very pregnant, nude Britney Spears in all her glory has been censored by the Tokyo Metro.

The new poster, showing the 24-year-old, embattled pop princess and wife of K-Fed only from the elbow up, will carry the catchy tagline:

"We apologize for hiding part of a beautiful image of a mother-to-be."

Not sure if the officials should be apologizing, or if they're doing the citizens of Japan a favor. You decide if this now-infamous magazine cover of Britney Spears is beautiful or just a little weird. Let us know what you think by posting a comment.

The amazing Britney Spears went on a shopping spree this weekend, spending more than five thousand dollars' worth of United States currency in under 30 minutes. The 24-year-old pregnant pop princess reportedly was downright dotty over a polka dot headband and a spotty frock as she browsed Los Angeles store Intuition.

NOTE: We have no idea what any of that means.

Britney also splashed out on a big straw hat (she's country, don'cha know) and snared up a stripy cardigan and a handbag. The star, who is due to crank out her second child with white trash deadbeat disgrace to the-species waste of oxygen husband Kevin Federline next month, told onlookers she is looking forward to birthing her kid and losing her baby weight.

"She said she can't wait to get to fit back into the clothes. She loved the head band. It reminded her of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman," an onlooker said.

Rumours of a split with K-Fed continue to surround the star, who ventured out without him. However, his absence may have simply been due to the rapping aspirant's recent shopping ban after he spent thousands of dollars of her money on bling and other items in Las Vegas. We don't really blame him for that, though -- when Ron Jeremy does your mom, you gotta make yourself feel better somehow.

"She seemed in good spirits but there was no ring on her finger. She was also having a good look at all the baby clothes, espiacilly all the cute little T-shirts," the onlooker said.

As professional onlookers, we can't help but be disappointed in this source. That's the best you can do? Give us more! WEAK.

Britney shopped while her 11-month-old son Sean Preston slept in the car, watched by her security guard. Suffice it to say, he was poorly dressed.

Britney Spears, expecting to crank out her second child in the near future, has admitted that she and dirtbag husband Kevin Federline didn't plan the pregnancy.

"It just kind of happened," the 24-year-old singer told People. "I'm going to wait a while for the next (one)!"

Or so you think. You can't FADE K-Fed's seed.

Spears is mom to 11-month old son Sean Preston, the couple's first child, and is already eight months pregnant again. Having back-to-back pregnancies can be stressful, she says -- adding that she feels like she's been knocked up for 10 years -- but she adheres to the advice of her mom, Lynne, and takes it one day at a time.

"It is now starting to get a little tiring, holding Sean Preston, but the whole pregnancy I've done it a lot because he's very attached. It makes me feel needed and wanted, so I like it too," Britney said.

Spears says she and Federline, 28, don't know the gender of their baby-to-be. The pop princess plans to hit the gym and begin hard core dieting soon after having the baby, scheduled via Caesarean birth, as was Sean P.

She's not ignoring her cravings at this point, though.

"Crunching ice and chocolate, oh my God. I'll get up in the middle of the night and I'll get a Hershey's bar, the real big ones, and I'll put it in the microwave and melt it and eat it. It sounds disgusting, but it's so satisfying."

Even more satisfying for Federline is the BLING he is gonna rake in by impregnating Britney at every turn. The T.H. Gossip office pool for the birth of Spears' third child has already begun.