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Late last year, the ho train was formed.

And man, it was a hell of a run.

Bang a Gong

But make no mistake about it, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are, like, SO over as BFFs.

The tension between the commando queen and the sex tape star is reportedly so thick that they ditched the same fashion show in New York just to avoid each other.

Both pop princesses (pictured here last year with Brit's son Sean Preston) were slated to appear at the Heatherette show at Fashion Week, but both cancelled at the last minute, says the New York Daily News, because they didn't want to cross paths.

Spears, who just got dumped by new man Isaac Cohen, got almost as far as the parking lot before deciding she didn't want to risk seeing the hotel heiress, who reportedly branded Britney "an animal" to her friends.

Sure thing, Paris. After all, Britney's the one taking it from behind in multiple sex tapes and whose storage locker included pictures of Cisco Adler naked, right?

There might be another explanation for Hilton's absence, according to sources. Rumor has it she had a long night the night before and was still feeling the after effects, if you know what we mean.

Officially, Hilton's no-show was blamed on the ever-popular "stomach condition." Which we all know means about 10 shots of tequila and a liter of man soup in her system.

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Look out, dudes: Britney Spears is single again.

That's what TMZ is reporting today, after her newest boyfriend, Mr. Isaac Cohen, dumped her over the phone - saying she's "a bit much" for his taste!

The Lil' Britneys

Britney got the bad news Sunday night while she was in New York and Isaac was in L.A. The pair had been together since mid-December, and Isaac was Britney's first boy (we refuse to count J.R. Rotem) since she split from the great Kevin Federline on November 7.

According to a friend, Isaac has been "looking to get out" for some time, because it was "a bit much for him ... it was too much of a whirlwind."

For some time? Bear in mind that we first reported that Britney and Isaac were dating on January 10. She must be a real nightmare!

We can only assume that Isaac will now resume his anonymous life, being Jewish and working on his career, while Britney continues to drink beer and pine for Justin.

Think we're kidding? TMZ reports that Brit was partying last night with JC Chasez - Timberlake's former boy band-mate - in NYC, and freaked out when the DJ at the club dared play on a Justin Timberlake track.

We're guessing the song in question wasn't "Dick in a Box" featuring Andy Samberg. But by the look on her face, Britney was none too pleased.

According to our sources, Britney Spears exchanged a few words with the DJ, and the song was promptly replaced with something more to her liking.

Spears doesn't need to worry about the same thing happening with any of K-Fed's music. Although the rap in his Super Bowl commercial was pretty damn catchy!

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We mean cigarettes, of course. We did not mean to apply above that Britney Spears is smoking in the figurative sense - as in smoking hot.

Not that she can't be at times. We've seen plenty of sexy Britney Spears pictures in our lifetimes. Some of them not involving pants. But the images below don't qualify as hot.

Awkward Kissing Scene

As the mother of Jayden James and Sean P. continued her shopping rampage in New York, she apparently forgot she was in the process of quitting cigarettes.

It's a shame, but hey, you know what, it happens. Lindsay Lohan apparently forgot she just got out of rehab when she dialed up a certain skanky sex tape queen on her cell. So yo, don't judge when you peep the pics below.

Bet Britney is wishing she could get her hands on an ice cold beer right about now. Or failing that, maybe Isaac Cohen...

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While Kevin Federline appeared in a Super Bowl ad for Nationwide Insurance (watch it here), his estranged wife took cover from the bitter cold in New York City.

Despite her claims that the single life is awesome and that she doesn't miss being married to K-Fed, Britney Spears couldn't help but think of her former man as his commercial - starring a riches-to-rags FedEx as a fry cook and featuring the Nationwide tagline "life comes at you fast" - aired on Super Sunday...

Britney's Hot Body

It sure does, Brit. It sure does. From the looks of it, beer apparently comes at Larry Rudolph (background) pretty fast, too. He looks so f*%king wasted!

Later that day, the parka-donning pantsless wonder raised a plastic cup of beer to Tara Conner and Lindsay Lohan, who regrettably couldn't share in the Super Bowl revelry. They're recovering alcoholics, after all.

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This just in: Britney Spears doesn't miss being married.

Then again, when she was married, it was to Jason Alexander. Then K-Fed. Just saying.

Circus Leader

When asked by People in New York on Friday how she likes being single, the pop star, who filed for divorce from Kevin Federline on November 7, said:

"It's awesome."

Britney Spears grabbed the spotlight Friday while at the fashion show for Baby Phat by Kimora Lee Simmons and KLS Collection Fall 2007, which was held at the Roseland Ballroom in conjunction with Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.

Wearing a slinky black dress, Jayden James' MILF posed for photographers upon her arrival, and was escorted to her seat just moments before the show started.

As the models strutted on an elevated stage wearing sexy their outfits, Spears chatted at times with her assistant. No, not Isaac Cohen.

She applauded along with the rest of the crowd when model Alek Wek flaunted a colorful halter dress that dragged on the floor in back but was a mini-dress in front. "Oh my god," said Spears, who showed no aversion to pants on this night.

After the show, Spears said:

"It was amazing."

She's always good for a memorable quote, that Briney. Kimora Lee Simmons (no relation to Bill Simmons), who was backstage after the show, said of Spears: "Sometimes she gets a hard rap...[But] she is a very talented girl."

Just not when it comes to giving interviews.

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Are the parents of Jayden James Federline officially over?

Maybe not. Britney Spears has been making late-night phone calls to K-Fed in hope of a reconciliation, according to several of Kevin's close peeps.

Britney Spears' New Body!

The friends of Kevin, who understandably requested anonymity, told TMZ that Britney's relationship with Isaac Cohen is a ruse to make Kevin jealous.

But other sources - and surely ones with more brain cells - say Britney is so over Kevin Federline. They say that Britney and Fedex have very little contact, and when they do communicate, it's about their two kids.

The two will continue to share custody of their two young sons this month, following the terms of a January custody agreement, Federline's attorney confirmed Thursday.

The temporary agreement has been extended through February, according to publicist Michael Sands, speaking on behalf of K-Fed's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan.

Per the terms of that agreement, good ol' Kev will continue to be allowed to visit Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline at Spears' home from noon to 4 p.m. on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

By the way, according to the same sources, recent reports that Britney will ante up a $25 million settlement to K-Fed to end their marriage are ridiculous.

One connected source says the $25 million figure is grossly inflated. About 25 times inflated.

In other words, the bad news is that FedEx will probably become a millionaire.

But the good news is that he won't be a multi-millionaire... at least not from Britney. He's doing well for himself with these fast food gigs though.

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Ready for this one? Ever the religious flip-flopper, Britney Spears has apparently traded in crucifixes and red strings for the Star of David. Is the Hebrew symbol in homage to her new man, Jewish model-actor Isaac Cohen?

Britney Spears was raised Southern Baptist and wore Christian crosses on a regular basis before Madonna turned her on to Kabbalah - and turned T.H. Gossip on by sticking her tongue down Britney's throat - in 2003.

Spears and Trawick Pic

The pop singer began studying the mystical offshoot of Judaism and started wearing the religion's famed red string bracelet designed to ward off the "evil eye." Then, in May 2006, the soon-to-be-ex Mrs. Kevin Federline announced that she was giving up Kabbalah, saying "my baby is my religion."

Yeah. Such a strong religion, in fact, that until this past week, Britney was seldom (if ever) seen with newborn baby Jayden James Federline.

But she appeared to have found a new faith Monday night when she showed off her new Star of David. When Britney Spears and Isaac Cohen were on their way home from the Chateau Marmont, photographers captured the star on her necklace. See below:

Has Britney gone Jewtastic? Does anyone care? We'll keep you posted.

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Paging Dr. Luke!

No not Luke Perry. We're talking about "Dr. Luke" Gottwald, the hot-shot record producer behind some of the biggest pop hits of the last few years. That's who our girl Britney Spears was visiting the other day, according to Us Weekly.

Britney Spears, Jason Trawick at VMAs

Spears' incompetent manager, Larry Rudolph, says she's been recording some tracks for her upcoming album (due out this fall) with the Doc the rest of this week at the Palms Casino Resort's private recording studio.

Dr. Luke is the man behind Kelly Clarkson's hit songs "Since U Been Gone" and "Behind These Hazel Eyes," among other hits. He's also written and produced for Avril Lavigne, Pink and the Backstreet Boys.

Apparently, he's the best. Says a pal of Brit's involved with the CD:

"She's working with the best."

We're told, shockingly, that Britney is traveling with her two boys, Jayden James and Sean Preston, so hopefully that's not too big a distraction.

In other news, Britney was apparently worried that a thin shirt might allow a pack of paparazzi to see a little more than she'd prefer, and made sure to keep her breasts covered up as she emerged from a gas station bathroom yesterday during a road trip with new boyfriend (of practically an entire month) Isaac Cohen.

Allow us to remind you, Britney, that:

  • You have the option of not wearing a see-through shirt.
  • You went through a phase in which you wore no pants and provided us with one great crotch shot after another, so there's really no point in being modest now.

by Free Britney at . Comments

As Kevin Federline and his estranged wife battle over their divorce settlement, sources have heard from both camps that the couple is seriously trying to settle the case and put it behind them.

That includes the financial end of things.

Meet the Trawicks

It seems like FedEx must have gotten quite a windfall from that Super Bowl ad, because he reportedly just turned down a $25 million settlement from Britney Spears, according to Star Magazine.

We have no clue if that figure is accurate, but the mag says it's Britney Spears' final offer, the catch being that Kevin has to walk away - from her and the kids - once and for all.

And K-Fed, who's shown a greater interest in parenting than his hard-partying, commando queen spouse since their split last fall, ain't having none of that.

"There's no way he's going to disappear from their lives," says Star's source.

Meanwhile, Us Weekly was able to get its hands on the receipt from Brit's recent trip to the food store. Yeah, those guys at Us are dedicated, we'll give them that. And awful writers.

Naturally, as you can see below, an assistant pushed the shopping cart and carried her dogs/kids/personal items as Spears sucked on a lollipop.

Below is a list of what the pop princess bought. Let's just say it fits her usual diet.

We have to give her credit for buying in bulk on the Lean Cuisines to save some dough, but those potato chips and hot dogs are gonna kill you, babe. Then again, at least she's not eating at McDonald's every meal.

  • Hot dogs: $4.19
  • Doritos: $1.88
  • Lean Cuisine One Dish Favorite frozen meal (5): $10.00
  • Diet Coke and 7-Up, 12-packs: $7.79
  • Florida's Natural orange juice (2): $6.00
  • Bib: $3.99
  • Pampers Easy-ups, size 6: (for Sean Preston) $10.79
  • Pampers Swaddlers, size 1 (for Jayden James): $10.49
  • Total: $55.13

Notice there's no underwear on that list. Well, not to worry, fans - Isaac Cohen took care of that!

by Free Britney at . Comments

We knew he was a decent fellow, but it looks like Britney Spears' new man is bringing one of the most elusive and important things into her life:

Underwear.

Merry Christmas From Britney

Model Isaac Cohen â€" who is still dating the troubled singer after a whole three weeks despite rumors that they split up a couple of days ago â€" was recently spotted at the posh lingerie store La Bra.

Rumor has it Kevin Federline used to buy Brit lingerie too. At WalMart.

Cohen said was looking for a Valentine's Day present for his girlfriend, who as we know from recent nearly-nude pictures could certainly use a good la bra.

He walked out with a black silk La Perla tuxedo shirt that set him back $358 â€" as well as seven pairs of panties, reports a source, who added:

"I guess it was one for each day of the week."

While we applaud Isaac for trying to curtail Brit's crotch shot potential, he's going to be disappointed if he thinks he's shacking up with her every night of the week - the girl's got too kids at home, so she's very rarely free!

Oh wait, that's right
. She's seldom seen with Jayden James or Sean Preston. We must have confused her with a normal parent.

Britney Spears Biography

Britney Spears: Harper's Bazaar Style Wow. Britney Spears is ... just.... OMG. Wow. Just wow. With this girl, that's about all we can say at this point. Once the biggest... More »
Born
Birthplace
Kentwood, Louisiana
Full Name
Britney Jean Spears

Britney Spears Quotes

I miss it here so much! I love it so much! It makes me it's kinda like bittersweet coming here because I used to live here for two years. And when I come here, it's like, man, I wish I had my apartment here still.

Britney Spears [on New York City]

MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?

Britney Spears
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