Britney Spears

Oh, yes, we went there. Actually, Phillip Swan of TVPredictions went there.

In a list of worst looking celebrities in HDTV, Rosie O'Donnell and Britney Spears led the hideous way.

Don't be shocked by the latter. Have you not seen any Britney Spears pictures recently? Now imagine those images in crystal clear, high definition ... exactly.

According to Swann,"no one enjoys the view of Rosie in high-def" and adds that she "looks like she uses a Brillo pad" to wash her face.

Teri Hatcher topped last year's roundup but falls to number three because "she's so thin that she could pass as a mother of four ... in Darfur."

Others on Swann's hit list include Spears ("Mrs. Kevin Federline is just 24, but she looks 34 in HDTV"), Burt Reynolds, whose "face looks like it's been Scotch taped back in place," and Madonna, who he says has cheeks that are "more caved in than a West Virginia coal mine."

Of course, some celebrities actually maintain their good looks under the spotlight of HDTV. Scarlett Johansson came to mind for Swann, for example.

Other television hotties making the cut were:

• Beyoncé
• Eva Longoria
• Ben Affleck
• Martha Stewart

No, really, Martha Stewart.

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God almighty, former Britney Spears bodyguard and man servant, Perry Taylor (with Spears and spawn, pictured), a.k.a. the Manny, is free at last.

Apparently, the handsome youngster opted out of the second coming of Sean Preston (otherwise known as Sutton Pierce). That's right, he's got himself a new bitch to dote on, one with considerably fewer letters in his name. Yes, we are talking about Jude Law. His whole name is seven letters! How crazy is that!?

While Perry/Manny (left, with Jude) may be relieved to be off diaper duty for now, he may have new surprises coming his way. These jobs aren't always as glamorous as they're cracked up to be.

Helping Jude Law groom his metrosexual image all day long and following his girlfriend Sienna Miller as she shops at every store in New York City could turn out to be equally crappy.... even if it doesn't reek quite as bad.

However, he probably won't have to hear any of K-Fed's music, so there's nowhere to go but up.

New parents Britney Spears, 24, and hubby Kevin Federline, 28, brought home their second son to serious excitement in their families.

Federline's mom, Julie Bleak, told Us Weekly, "We are all so happy!"

Whether K-Fed's mom made this remark because little Sutton Pierce Federline is so darn cute, or because she learned her deadbeat, rapping-aspirant son has 26 more years to live, was not stated. And can we discuss the fact that K-Fed's mom's last name is Bleak? You couldn't make this stuff up.

The September 12 birth by C-section at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles "went really smoothly," says a source. A family insider says that when the singer checked out at midnight on September 14, she wore a beanie, rode in a wheelchair pushed by Federline and "held the baby in her arms."

Wow, a new mother cradling her newborn child in her arms? That's "really exciting, unusual news." Great "journalism," Us Weekly.

Although there were other occasions to celebrate that weekend -- son Sean Preston turned 1 on September 14, the Federlines' two-year anniversary was on the 18th -- the clan was reportedly really low-key.

"They stayed home," the source said. "A lot of bonding went on. Sean and Sutton get along great!"

Correct us if we're wrong, but Sutton has been alive for about a week. He'd get along with a ball of string at this point. Which reminds us, a ball of string surely has better career prospects than K-Fed. Ohhh!

Proud celebrity parents Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are apparently going to be calling their newborn son... wait for it...

Sutton Pierce Federline.

Are you f%$*king kidding me?

The singer gave birth to her second son at the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, just before 2 am on Tuesday.

According to our sources, Britney wants to give the healthy 6 lb., 11 oz. bundle of joy this ludicrous name so he can have the same initials as his older brother, Sean Preston Federline. Great reasoning, guys. I'm sure they really care, and that Sutton won't be ridiculed at all at school growing up.

Speaking of Sean P., he turns one today! Woo!

• Q: Who has two kids less than a year apart?
• A: People from Louisiana.

It is believed Britney wanted to have her C-section today, September 14, so that her children would share the same birthday. But Kevin, for reasons yet unknown to us at T.H. Gossip, insisted she bring it forward.

Meanwhile, it has been claimed that Britney gave birth in the same room as her hero and one-time make-out partner -- Madonna. A source from inside the hospital says the C-section took place in the same VIP suite in which Madonna gave birth to her son Rocco.

The hospital insider also revealed that actresses Jennifer Garner and Kim Basinger delivered their babies in the same suite.

We'll have pics of Sutton Pierce Federline as soon as they are available. Are sleuths are already on the case, hiding in Britney's garbage cans in Malibu. Who's the cutest celebrity baby of the land? VOTE!

Yes, it's official. Britney Spears has given birth to her second child, almost one year after bringing Sean Preston into this cruel world. In honor of this momentous event, the Gossip has put together a little Britney quiz to see how well you've been following our favorite star. Give it your best shot... then vote for one of Britney's offspring in our exclusive POLL!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A. On which TV show did Britney officially announce her pregnancy?

1. The Late Show with David Letterman
2. The Ellen DeGeneres Show
3. American Idol
4. TRL
5. Today

B. For which publication did a pregnant nude Britney Spears appear in 2006?

1. Harper's Bazaar
2. T.H. Gossip
3. Vanity Fair
4. InStyle
5. Playboy

C. Earlier this summer, dirtbag hubby Kevin Federline dished to talk shot host Ellen DeGeneres about Britney's second pregnancy cravings. What did he say she wanted most?

1. Pickles
2. Ice chips
3. Cheetos
4. Methamphetamine
5. Non-fat lattes

Where did Perry Taylor -- a.k.a. "Manny" (right) -- receive his elite training before becoming Britney's (and Sean P.'s) bodyguard?

1. The Citadel
2. West Point
3. Red Sox Nation
4. The U.S. Naval Academy
5. The Northern Louisiana School of Childcare

What did Britney and Kevin joke about while presenting an award at the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards?

1. Kevin's rap career
2. Federline's fertility
3. Losing track of their son, Sean Preston
4. Britney's junk food obsession
5. Being from the South

Earlier this year, what did Britney tell reporters she's most looking forward to after she gives birth?

1. Midnight feedings
2. Getting back into shape
3. An annulment or divorce
4. Returning to the stage
5. Having a third baby

How'd you do? We got them all correct -- but then again, we're T.H. Gossip. And we came up with the quiz. So it's not that impressive.

Answers: A) 1; B) 1; C) 2; D) 4; E) 3; F) 2.

The incomparable Britney Spears has reportedly given birth to her second child, a boy, at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, TMZ tells T.H. Gossip. While there hasn't been an official confirmation from her camp, numerous sources are offering up information as to how the happy occasion went down.

According to a source, Britney checked in to the hospital under an assumed name -- using the first name Pebbles -- last evening. The baby, delivered by Cesarean section, was cranked out shortly after 2:00 a.m., weighing in at a healthy 6 lbs., 11 oz. Sean Preston's new little brother is reportedly 19 inches long, or about 16 inches longer than K-Fed's... career? Clank.

One source indicates that Britney deliberately led everyone to believe it was a girl but always knew she was having a boy. Weak. Other reports say she was trying to time this one so that it had the same birthday as Sean P. But it looks like she f--ked that up, since he was born last September 14.

Suckers. Spears and deadbeat husband Kevin Federline, who originally reported that the baby was due on Halloween, are planning to renew their wedding vows during their anniversary on September 18. Guess they wanted the little dude to be present outside the womb. Good times.

This marks the birth of Federline's fourth child. A former backup dancer who can't dance and current aspiring rapper who can't rap, K-Fed also has a four-year-old girl, Kori, and a two-year-old son, Kaleb, from his previous relationship with Shar Jackson. As usual, you can count on the sleuths at T.H. Gossip to keep you up to date on the birth of the newest Spears Federline offspring as more details become available.

Reading might come easy for Kevin Federline, but other parts of his life are complicated.

His fourth child is on the way; he'd had two wives; his rapping and acting career are just taking off. As the wife beater-wearing Yankee fan might say, sometimes you just lose control (cue awful vocals).

At least K-Fed has a wife that understands. Rumors are swirling that Britney Spears plans to make one thing in her and her hubby's life as simple as possible:

She's going to have her second baby by C-section on Sept. 14 â€" the same day Sean Preston was born last year. Now the two slow-witted attention seekers (K-Fed and Britney, that is; we love Sean, the kid just has to learn how to dress well) don't need to remember multiple birthdays!

Thank goodness.

Britney isn't done with her baby planning (despite this baby, you know, not having been planned). Reports also state the baby will be given the name Jailynn, a mixture of the names of Britney's dad (Jamie), mom (Lynn), and little sister (Jamie Lynn).

Good. That's not confusing at all.

With her second baby's birth two months and one day away, Britney Spears has registered online for thousands of dollars worth of gifts at Petit Tresor, a posh L.A. children's store with a celebrity following.

"It's not a fake, she's having a baby shower soon and has told friends that they can order gifts from the site," a source assured MSNBC's The Scoop.

What's not a fake? The kid? No $h!t, Sherlock. The Gossip was pretty sure Brit was knocked up when we say the nude pics in Harper's Bazaar. Who do you think she is, Katie Holmes? No way Britney is with it enough to plot a faux celebrity baby birth.

The accessories and furniture on the pretty pregnant pop princess' posh registry strongly suggest that she is expecting a baby girl.

While the chandelier Spears plans to put in the poor little tike's room (no matter what deadbeat Kevin Federline says, Brit wears the pants in this house) features little airplanes, there exists a preponderance of pink and frilly ruffles among the merchandise. Then again, we've seen how well she dresses Sean Preston -- so there's really no telling what the f*%k is going on in Britney's mind at any time.

Shower guests had better be prepared to refinance their home loans. The aforementioned baby chandelier costs a whopping $1,200.

But don't hate.

"It's not like she's expecting her friends to buy everything for the baby. She's already spent, like, $30,000 at the store," the source says.

Numerous sources confirm that the wondrous Britney Spears is set to renew her wedding vows with disgrace white trash loser worthless human being husband Kevin Federline, the former backup dancer and current aspiring rapper she dubiously married in 2004.

The singer and husband will hold a ceremony this fall, shortly after the birth of their second child, rumored to be entering this cruel world on Halloween. Britney was expected to give birth next month, but Federline let it slip during a recent radio interview that his wife is planning to go into labor on Halloween day.

Appearing on DJ Ryan Seacrest's KIIS FM show, Federline told the American Idol host that his second child with Spears was due "soon," later blurting out "October 31."

When pressed about his future family plans, the fertile Federline told Seacrest that he's totally "gonna slow down for a little while, I promise," yo.

Just as when Spears birthed son Sean Preston last September 14, his cute little sibling will be arriving via caesarian section.

This is convenient, as it makes it easy for mom to plan when she wishes to crank out her offspring, and for K-Fed to blab about it on the radio. In his defense, though, he may have confused the date with that of his many other kids' birthdays.

As for their renewed vows, the couple will invite hundreds of friends and family, as Britney hopes to show the world she is happily married. Good luck with that! In honor of this occasion, we've posed a close-up shot of Britney before she became a perpetually knocked-up, dark-haired train wreck.

We're not saying she's ugly nowadays, like some assclowns have... but let's just say sometimes we long for the days of yore.

K-Fed is getting ready for his acting debut, but he hasn't forgotten about rapping just yet, With the release of his debut album, Playing with Fire, due to hit stores in October, the deadbeat complete failure multi-talented Kevin Federline is already throwing CD release parties. Here are a few pictures from the most recent one, which we came across:

The guy sure loves his Yankees... and wearing his hat cocked to the side like a f*%king retard. Meanwhile, K-Fed's loving and supportive wife, and the mother of one (soon to be two) of his three (soon to be four) kids, Britney Spears, has unloaded her Manhattan condo. She finally sold the dump after it languished on the market for more than two years -- since before her marriage to Federline and the birth of their son, Sean Preston.

The 4,400-square-foot apartment fetched $4 million, $1 million more than the pop princess paid for it four years ago, but $2 million less than her original asking price of $6 million. Still, not a bad return on investment there, Brit. See that, Kevin? That's how people make money. Investing in real estate. Not by trying to rap and looking like a complete jackass.

As recently as last May, the three bedroom, four-and-a-half bathroom, four-floor apartment -- which also has a media room, library and terrace -- had been priced at $4.55 million, Spears' real estate broker confirms. Keith Richards and hip hop mogul Russell Simmons are both prior owners. Sounds like the buyers got a bargain. Sort of.

Chris Toland of the Corcoran Group, who represented the buyers, said that his clients, whom he would not name, are from Los Angeles and are quote-unquote "not celebrities."

TRANSLATION: They're freaking losers!