Britney Spears

Wearing an athletic tee that proclaims she's "NO PUSHOVER," and clearly no bra underneath it (and probably no underwear either), a brown-haired Britney Spears could not resist the call of the chalupa during a recent pit stop.

The "singer" was spotted making a rest stop in Malibu while her new mystery man / driver / bodyguard waited in her Mercedes.

Debate continues over whether said guy is in fact Brit's AA counselor, John Sundahl - who she was rumored to be dating, but no one has seen a photo of - and whoever he is, what his status is in regards to our girl.

Don't worry, though: Britney Spears apparently had time to secure some new crap-tacular duds from a local Salvation Army store.

After checking her ratty, Amy Winehouse-style hair, America's fallen pop princess did what she does best. Wear awful clothes, smile like she's on drugs and hit up Taco Bell.

How cool is this, y'all?

As Dr. Elliot Reid from Scrubs might put it, who the frick is this guy? He has been seen driving Britney Spears around town, but no one seems to know his name - or his frickin' deal.

Men seem to come and go in Britney Spears' life, after all. There's Perry the Manny, J.R. Rotem, Isaac Cohen, Jason Filyaw, Columbus Short, John Sundahl and the two losers she married.

Now the buzz is building around the identity of the chiseled, square-jawed man with tousled brown hair who's been out with Britney in recent days.

This weekend marked the latest in a string of public sightings of Britney Spears with the mystery gentleman, who is often seen hiding behind dark sunglasses.

They turned up at Bel Air Presbyterian Church on Sunday, with Brit carrying son Jayden James, 10 months, and the man toting a crying Sean Preston, 22 months.

So he's handsome and good with kids. But who and what is he? Is he just a driver or has he seen Britney Spears naked? The Internet has been abuzz with speculation, but no ID.

No, the no-neck mystery man is just there, doing his thing, driving Britney Spears around in her black Mercedes and helping her with the kids.

The church visit followed some poolside frolicking and a night out with Spears in which they went to LA's Pantages Theater see the musical Wicked ... or at least the first part.

Britney Spears and the mystery man ducked out about an hour into the show. Classy/No offense was taken by the producers, fortunately.

"She came in late, and stayed for about an hour and left," says Wicked rep Tim Choy. "She loves the show. She's seen it several times."

Can you help us identify Britney Spears' no-neck new boyfriend / bodyguard / chauffeur / whoever he is? Please leave us a comment if you can give us the exclusive scoop!

Our apologies to all fans who momentarily thought they could get a look at Britney Spears nude here today. Not gonna happen, sadly.

However, we offer you the next best thing. Britney and her no-neck mystery man frolicking in the pool at her Malibu estate with her two sons!

PHOTO CREDIT: TMZ / Flynet

Here, the naked Jayden James Federline is being handed off by the alleged man, who may be a bodyguard, chauffeur or boyfriend, or any or all of the above.

Meanwhile, Sean Preston Federline patiently waits his turn. What a l'il pimp! He doesn't need to cry or be passed around or wear pants. Pants are for suckaz.

It's either hard to find swimsuits for kids in L.A., or they've been reading too much about their nudity-loving mother in various online celebrity news publications.

Is Britney Spears dating this man? We have no frickin' idea. What is his name? No clue on that, either. Help us out if you can. But we can tell you two things:

1. Amy Winehouse wears that hairstyle better. And can sing.
2. Sean Preston and Jayden James' estranged grandma, Lynne Spears, was nowhere to be found.

The Tony Parker - Eva Longoria wedding extravaganza was perhaps the most notable event of the weekend in terms of pure celebrity news.

But in honor of Saturday's date, 07-07-07, our friends at TMZ created their own seven wonders of the world - and they're too good not to share.

From the walking train wreck that is Britney Spears to Spencer and Heidi's fake relationship to the glory that is Greasy Bear, behold the 7 Wonders of Celebrity Gossip ...

Nicole Richie's Pregnancy
Was it a pregnancy bump, or had Nicole simply decided to ingest food? For weeks, rumors swirled about whether or not the skinny one was pregnant - or eating for a change. Turns out Nicole - ever the trendsetter - is going to be the first mom among the worthless young Hollywood set.

Matthew McConaughey's Missing Shirt
For months now, Matthew McConaughey has wandered the world, playing his bongos and collecting sexy accolades sans shirt. Where could the shirt have gone? And does anyone object to its absence?

Lindsay Lohan's Driving Skillz
Disaster seems to strike whenever Lindsay Lohan is behind the wheel. It's a wonder the girl ever gets anywhere at all. Besides into the pants of A.J. Lamas, of course.

The Britney Spears Train Wreck-a-Thon
First there was the quickie Jason Alexander wedding. Then came the decision to marry Kevin Federline and the ensuing divorce. Then the partying with Paris. The head-shaving debacle. The umbrella rage incident. The panty-free partying. The rehab. The post-rehab. The propensity for getting naked ... and on and on and on and ...

Brandon Davis' Oily Sheen
Despite being an heir with infinite cash, Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis can't seem to stop sweating. Brother Jason Davis, a.k.a. "Gummi Bear," almost looks normal by comparison.

The Heidi Montag - Spencer Pratt "Relationship"
Spencer Pratt and Heidi's new fake boobs have managed to stretch their 15 minutes of fame to at least 20. The obnoxious, obviously conniving Pratt even convinced a girl to marry him. Talk about defining the dumb blonde stereotype. Ugh. Just give us Lauren Conrad.

The Lack of Underwear in Los Angeles, California
Apparently there are no Victoria's Secrets in L.A. That or some fraternity pledge is frequently raiding the underwear drawers of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and company. How else do you explain the deluge of crotch shot and nipple slip photos?

The amazing Britney Spears apologized this week to X17 for her umbrella bashing rage last February, blaming it on a movie part she was trying out for.

Now, on her official site, she posted a note… again apologizing to X17 (though not in name) … for her infamous, furious pre-rehab, head-shaved umbrella attack.

Why Britney Spears is bringing up, and making light of this now, 4-5 months after the incident, is beyond this distributor of celebrity news.

But she explains that her insane, bald-headed umbrella attack was merely part of a "stunt" while preparing her "character" for a role in a movie ….

"I take all my roles very seriously and got a little carried away," quips the train wreck, echoing her apology to the celebrity photo firm. "Unfortunately, I didn't get the part."

Stunning.

The website, as we previously reported, also asks the few remaining die hard fans (of Britney, not the new Die Hard movie) to help name her upcoming album.

The choices "fans" can make? "Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like," "What if the Joke is on You," "Down boy," "Integrity," and "Dignity."

Suuuure. Wonder how AJ Lamas feels about his new babe's inclusion on this weird list. In any case, it's another day in the life of Jayden James Federline's crazy mama.

Thanks to People for this great collection of celebrity quotes from the past week ...

"There are some things I like about L.A. You can have a really healthy lifestyle, and I love running with the dogs on the beach. It's just the social scene is horrific!"
- Mischa Barton (pictured), on the pros and cons of Hollywood

"The name means 'Thank God for Beef' ... Which is kinda lame."
- Shia LaBeouf, discussing the meaning of his unusual name with David Letterman

"I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella. I was preparing my character for a roll [sic] in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my rolls [sic] very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn't get the part."
- Britney Spears, in a post on her Web site, addressing a run-in with celebrity news site X17 just before she entered rehab

"There is nothing gay in this movie. I'm not playing a gay man. Scientology is not homophobic in any way, in fact it's one of the more tolerant faiths."
- John Travolta, responding to critics who say his religion is intolerant of homosexuality and that he shouldn't have played Hairspray's Edna Turnblad because the role was made famous by a gay icon

"I am truly not one to give advice. I'm divorced and I stole my best friend's husband."
- Denise Richards, asked if she had any post-jail advice for Paris Hilton

"He's a good kisser and he didn't pay me to say that."
- Katie Leung, on Harry Potter costar Daniel Radcliffe's smooching

"I've never substituted a meal for a salad in my life."
- A pregnant Nicole Richie, to British Marie Claire

"That would probably go under the category of 'everything.'"
- Jack Wagner, on what he likes best about girlfriend Heather Locklear

"It's a romantic movie. Homer falls in love with a pig."
- The Simpsons creator Matt Groening about The Simpsons Movie

"I've been getting into a lot of older hip-hop music recently like Dr. Dre. Something about the summer brings it out in me."
- Hilary Duff, on the music she'll take with her when she hits the road for an upcoming concert tour.

Looks like our girl Britney Spears got herself yet another new guy - or has decided to hire an expressionless, no-neck chauffeur off the street.

Seriously, look at that guy. Where's your neck, pal? We can't see it! Yeah. He's clearly a caveman, or hopped up on more steroids than Chris Benoit.

The "singer" and train wreck looked downright calm at least. Well, for her. Britney rode (with) him to a 4th of July activity yesterday.

Her stubby-armed stubbly friend took the wheel, allowing Britney Spears time to make a few calls and adjust her makeup and "My Little Pony" hair.

Whoever he is, he's driving Britney Spears in his car. So you know what this guy's gotta be thinking: How he can get her into a wheelbarrow next? Eh? Eh?

The Hollywood Gossip challenges you, celebrity news readers, to identify this man. We need to know as soon as we can whether he is the next Isaac Cohen or Jason Filyaw.

When a determined Britney Spears served her mother with mystery legal documents last week, as we reported, she also delivered a stinging message along with them.

In prose.

The beleaguered "singer" has been angry and feuding with Lynne Spears because she felt her mother and others ambushed her into a bogus rehab trip.

Now, Britney wrote a poem, bitterly entitled "Dear Mama" and delivered it to her mother during her strange run-in last week, according to several publications.

In the poem, Britney Spears laments "that she doesn't have a mom anymore and she couldn't imagine a mother doing what she did to her child," a source told the tabloid Star.

Spears delivered the verse, along with legal papers, to her mother on June 28 on the set of "Zoey 101," the TV show starring Britney's sister, Jamie Lynn Spears.

Britney and Lynne Spears are reportedly also battling over the affections of Jamie Lynn. Have we mentioned that Britney and Jamie Lynn's dad's name is Jamie?

"Britney said, ‘Here Momma, I just wanted to see your face,'" a source told Star. "Then she got into her car and drove off. [Lynne Spears] went into the trailer and broke down in tears."

The CD reportedly contained private recordings of phone conversations between Lynne Spears and Britney Spears' estranged husband, Kevin Federline.

Spears is forbidding her mother from seeing her two sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, and in one conversation, Lynne is said to be arranging to meet K-Fed and the boyz.

"I have to be careful that Britney doesn't find out," she conspires.

The recordings were allegedly made by a private investigator (!?) and in another call, Kevin Federline assured Spears' mother that his divorce battle was "going well."

"Kevin told Lynne that he had everything under control," adds the source. "He was just going to let Britney hang herself in court."

Britney Spears, a.k.a. "Queen B," has finally apologized for her crazy, umbrella bashing ways. Yes, America's most insane pop princess penned a funny note to the celebrity photo agency upon which she infamously unleashed rage en route to rehab in February.

The text of Britney's note to X17 reads:

Dear X17,
I want to apologize for the past incident with the umbrella. I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn't play his part so they swap places. Unfortunately I didn't get the part. I'm sorry I got a l'il carried away with my role!
Britney

Huh? Someone was considering Britney Spears for a movie role? This gossip blog is stunned she didn't get it... although with the shaved head she was rocking at the time of the incident, she could've passed for a dude. Of course, she would still have to act.

Regardless, we're guessing she wishes she could use that umbrella on some people in her life right now. Better watch your back, Lynne Spears.

In other news, the same celebrity news provider is reporting that Britney may release her newest single - from the new album she's working on - as soon as... this Saturday.

Do we believe this for a second? No. Would a lucky release date of 7-7-07 be enough to propel Britney Spears back atop the charts? Doubtful. Will we stay tuned? You know it.

The Hollywood Gossip tells it like it is.

As a celebrity gossip provider, that means you've occasionally got to get down, dirty, explicit and profane in covering the famous people that make the news.

That's been our philosophy since our first post (about Lindsay Lohan) 13 months ago.

Nonetheless, according to a new blog rating system, which rates gossip blogs the same way as movies, T.H. Gossip has been given parental guidance suggested, "PG" status.

How, we're not sure. It was a close shave. Not unlike that recently given to that shank Paris Hilton. Man, that thing was given a serious waxing!

Despite a consistent deluge of raunchy articles and censored nude / sexual photos, we were able to dodge the more risque "PG-13" or "R" designations.

Guess all those shots of Britney Spears wearing no underwear and all that talk about Amanda Beard and Garcelle Beauvais nude wasn't enough. Oh well. We'll work harder, we promise.

Here are a couple of good celebrity photos from our (apparently PG) archive.