by Free Britney at . Comments

As usual, THG's recap of The Hills will consist of us grading last night's episode, awarding (or deducting) points for the best and worst moments.

This week, Audrina Patridge decides to move to her own place, where she hopes she'll be able to rekindle the passion with Justin-Bobby. Yes, really. LC is sad to see her go. Lo? Not as much. Elsewhere, Heidi Montag drinks on the job and gets fired.

Crystal Balling

On to the rankings!

LC worried how Audrina's move would affect their relationship: “It was just so quick. It was literally like, ‘By the way, I’m going to move like right now.’ She’ll always be my friend. We’ll see, though.” Yup, typical LC. Plus 3.

“It’s not the end of the story,” Lauren Conrad reiterated later. “It’s just to be continued.” The writers feeding her these lines need to be fired. Minus 2.

Audrina's sister, Casey Patridge, is like a regular Kat Von D! Plus 3.

Justin-Bobby has never been one to open up. Or speak in complete sentences.

Audrina sort of asks Justin-Bobby to move in with this pathetic line: “I don’t know if I want to live by myself. Would you want to move in? Maybe?” His reply: “You know, just let it happen. We’ll see what happens.” Wow on both. Even.

You know Lo is totally excited that Audrina's moving out. Plus 7.

No mention of how she affords this ridiculous place - by being a psuedo-celebrity - which goes for pretty much everything and everyone on The Hills. Minus 4.

Whitney Port gives us an absolutely tremendous o-face. As in O-MG! Plus 1.

Sam Nazarian, looking for his partner Brent Bolthouse at the restaurant opening, asked a clearly intoxicated Heidi if she knew where he was and “if she was still working.” She shot back, “Are you?” Holy crap, what a moron. Minus 5.

Always helpful, Spencer asked Sam if he wanted a shot. [Crickets] Plus 3.

Obligatory Minus 4 for the bonus four minutes of ads. Boo, MTV. Boo.

TOTAL: +2. We've kept it short this time so you can add your own if you like. Comment below and we'll adjust the total score as your thoughts pour in!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Home may be where the heart is, but things aren't altogether sweet in the home of Lauren Conrad (LC) on this episode of The Hills.

Roommates Lauren Bosworth (Lo) and Audrina Patridge aren't really jiving, and the tension between them is getting worse by the minute.

Bad Extensions

While LC and Lo want to go tanning and shopping, Audrina has to go to Epic Records' studio, where the band Alkaline Trio is recording, for work.

She really wants the Laurens to stop by and see her, and they do, for about 15 seconds, before Lo complains about being hungry and they bail.

Lo denies any sort of blame by saying she's "just not cool enough to hang with bands," but Lauren Conrad is sad that her roomies haven't bonded.

If you thought Audrina Patridge's life was complicated, it pales in comparison to the reality show's other protagonist, the plastic-surgery loving Heidi Montag.

The fake-looking, duck-lipped bimbo decides that she wants to take her career to the next level. Her boss, club promoter / owner Brent Bolthouse, taps Heidi to help launch his new Hyde club - in Las Vegas! HOT!

Continue Reading...

Brent Bolthouse Biography

Brent Bolthouse is a famous nightclub promoter in Hollywood. The reason we know him is The Hills. Heidi Montag, one of the reality TV... More »
Full Name
Brent Bolthouse
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