by Free Britney at

Brandon Davis is one slick motherf*%ker.

Literally! In all other manners of speaking, nothing could be further from the truth. He has absolutely no tact, and seems to get getting himself into some tight spots of late.

Trouble for Brandon Davis

Who does everyone's favorite Greasy Bear think he is, Danny Ocean? Davis, whose family is worth billions, is being sued for allegedly ripping off a Bahamian casino for a $h!tload of cash during a weekend in January.

In a lawsuit filed in New Jersey and obtained by TMZ, the Atlantis Paradise Resort and Casino claims Paris Hilton's hanger-on owes $75,000 - after checks that Davis wrote for a hefty casino marker bounced and were sent back (Greasy) bearing the stamp "Non-Sufficient Funds!"

This caps quite the week for the oil heir, who made numerous headlines after running his mouth and getting booted out of Hilton's birthday party.

Among other things, he ignorantly mocked Paula Abdul's Middle Eastern heritage despite the fact that Davis' own father is Middle Eastern.

He was also ridiculed (deservedly) by a New York DJ.

This check bouncing isn't a first for him, either. He once bounced a $10,000 check to Joe Francis (yes, that Joe Francis), conveniently after remarking that Lindsay Lohan's $7 million net worth was "poor."

According to the current lawsuit against him, Davis was either "aware at the time that he presented the checks that his account had insufficient funds," or borrowed the cash with "the intent and plan to order the bank not to pay or honor the checks."

And we thought the Bahamas were only good for Anna Nicole Smith news. Either way, the casino wants their ca$h, ASAP. They're even after Greasy for an additional $270 to cover the returned check fee!

Bad Greasy Bear! Bad! Maybe we need to include the oily one on our Jason Wahler Sweepstakes!

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by Free Britney at

What it looks like here is a textbook case of the Greasy pot calling the bumbling, drunk kettle Middle Eastern.

What we're talking about actually went down at Paris Hilton's hot birthday party, in which her BFF (or at least then-BFF) Brandon Davis made an ass out of himself. Standard.

Kim and Brandon

Only this time, when he mocked American Idol judge Paula Abdul because of her Middle Eastern ancestry, causing her to leave early, he forgot a key fact.

He's also Middle Eastern.

A witness at the party told the New York Daily News at the time:

"[Davis] kept on saying her last name over and over again, and then would insert his made-up version of an Arabic language."

Classy. Well, it turns out that Brandon Davis' real name isn't actually Brandon Davis.

Nor is it Greasy Bear. That's just a nickname.

It's Brandon Zarif.

"His father is Nebil Zarif, known as 'Bilo,'" a source tells the Daily News. "He's a Turkish-American wine importer."

Davis, who more closely resembles a roasting pig than a bear of grease, uses his mother Nancy's maiden name, also that of his late grandfather, oil tycoon Marvin Davis. But Marvin never approved of Brandon's parents' marriage.

"He basically gave Bilo money to go away," according to the friend.

This isn't the first time the hard-partying slime ball has ended up with egg (very greasy egg) on his face. Last year, he ripped Lindsay Lohan, a.k.a. Firecrotch, specifically her financial assets, saying:

"She's worth about $7 million, which means she's really poor."

It was then revealed that Davis bounced a $10,000 check to Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis, which was refused for "insufficient funds."

What a dumbass. Someone's gotta get this guy and Jason Wahler together.

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by Free Britney at

Apparently, it doesn't matter where Brandon Davis goes. It's always the same story.

What we're trying to say is that no one likes him.

Kim and Brandon

The gossip hounds at the New York Daily News report that the club-hopping, annoying oil heir was at the hot Manhattan club The Box over the weekend.

That's nothing out of the ordinary. It's not like he has a job.

We were also not surprised to learn that the former beau of Mischa Barton - and the man who made Lindsay Lohan synonymous with Firecrotch - soon began heckling and insulting the DJ.

The reason for his outburst wasn't specified - but is there ever any reason with the man we've come to know and love (or just know) as Greasy Bear?

The DJ decided he wasn't having any of this crap, shining a spotlight on Paris Hilton's sweaty hanger-on and "ripping on him for like 10 minutes."

The most delightful thing about the encounter was that the DJ reportedly didn't even know who Greasy Bear was. But we're sure other spinsters who do know Davis (like, say, DJ AM) would tear him a new one as well.

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by Free Britney at

Brandon Davis - the oil heir and L.A. nightclub regular who brought the word "Firecrotch" into the vernacular (at least as it applies to Lindsay Lohan) - did what he does best again over the weekend.

Making a total ass of himself.

Todd Phillips and Paris Hilton

At the 26th birthday party of his BFF, Paris Hilton, Saturday night, the gent we have come to affectionately know as Greasy Bear showed some of the lodging heiress' guests home early in disgust - which left poor Paris in tears.

Davis' boorish behavior at the lavish 26th-birthday bash began around 10, when he started throwing flowers at Paula Abdul, who was supposed to sing "Happy Birthday" to Paris.

Then, it was the flower-holders he was chucking.

Finally, after asking Paula to "lick my [bleep]," he mocked her by talking in a fake-Arabic accent. The American Idol judge bolted early, even before crooning.

Then, Brandon decided to ingratiate himself to Courtney Love by grabbing her, making her straddle his waist, and summing up his feelings for her succinctly:

"I want to squirt on you."

Never mind the fact that Courtney's young daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, was right there. Good work, Greasy. Davis is about as classy as Antonella Barba.

After all this, as well as some broken glasses and candles, Paris broke down and kicked Greasy Bear out. Is this the end of their friendship? Does anyone give a rat's ass about Brandon Davis? Stay tuned.

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by Free Britney at

At least Brandon Davis - oil heir, Hollywood club regular and certifiable waste of space - is doing some fun things with his free time. Which in his case means every minute of every day.

Last month, our favorite Bear of Grease took a Hawaiian vacation, where he coughed up at least one lung and roasted like a pig. But that was nothing compared to this:

Kim and Brandon

This week, Paris Hilton's best buddy and Mischa Barton's ex-boyfriend showed off some serious adventurousness - and crotch - in a tandem parachute outing.

Just be glad we're not bringing you any closeups of his package - those Antonella Barba blowjob pics were more than enough male genitalia for one day, thank you very much.

Anyway, in this picture, Davis is skydiving with a dude who looks a hell of a lot like Kevin Federline... though Mr. Britney Spears was most likely elsewhere, taking care of his kids like a responsible adult. The scary thing? We're serious.

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by Free Britney at

This past weekend meant good times for Hollywood stars in Las Vegas. Even more than usual! The NBA All-Star Game was in town and Akon performed as part of the weekend's festivities.

That concert sounds like the musical equivalent of Britney Spears' new hairdo, if you get what we're saying. What we're saying is, the girl looks terrible with a shaved head.

The Hills Cast in Hawaii

Anyway. Paris Hilton and younger sister Nicky Hilton were on hand. Sadly, there was no raunchy, suggestive Hilton sister girl-on-girl action spotted.

Bachelor-about-town Brody Jenner (white t-shirt) and Paris n'er-do-well BFF Brandon Davis (a.k.a. Greasy Bear) hit up the event as well. It looks as if everyone had a good time looking cool and contributing nothing to society.

 

Also there was Sopranos actress Jamie Lynn Sigler. We have no idea if she is friends with the Hiltons, or trying to ditch the lame guy she's there with in the hopes of winning the affections of Lauren Conrad's hunky man (Jenner).

Or  maybe, just maybe, she simply happened to be in the same place as these other peeps. We had space to kill. Deal with it.

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by Free Britney at

In need of a breather from his hectic life - which consists of contributing nothing to society and clubbing every night - Brandon Davis decided to take a vacation to Maui.

Hey, sometimes you need some R&R. His nickname may be Greasy Bear, but the perpetual party pal of Paris Hilton looked more like a greasy pig (or a beached whale).

Trouble for Brandon Davis

See below. WARNING: These images may offend or sicken you.

 

The chain-smoking oil heir was seen marooned chilling out in front of the Four Seasons, where he was having a coughing fit. The Pacific Coast News was lucky enough to catch him in the act. Sly Stallone would be rolling in his grave if he could see this.

Don't worry, though: Once he stopped hacking up a lung, Davis continued puffing on his Marlboro Light. Good times. The only thing that could have made this vacation better were if Lindsay Lohan, whom he infamously dubbed "Firecrotch," were lathering him up with suntan lotion. Or if Brandon managed to set his slick hair on fire with a cigarette.

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by Free Britney at

T.H. Gossip can't help but wonder: Should Brandon Davis have played Rocky's son in the newly-released motion picture event, Rocky Balboa?

Absolutely not, because Brandon Davis is not only a total assclown, but a dude with no acting experience. But with his messed-up dark hair, oily-looking face and pouty lips, the partying pal of Paris Hilton could pass for a younger, wimpier Sylvester Stallone. See below:

Kim and Brandon

 

Uncanny, don't you think? And the similarities don't end with their looks. Davis' nickname is "Greasy Bear," while Stallone once got in a fight with Richard Gere involving some greasy chicken! Also, Davis was the one who unceremoniously anointed Lindsay Lohan "Firecrotch," and the 60-year-old Stallone surely banged scores of redheads in his prime.

Okay, so we're reaching. They all can't be Suri Cruise / Bjork caliber.

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by Free Britney at

We love Brandon Davis here at T.H. Gossip.

Anyone who equates Lindsay Lohan and the term firecrotch is all good in our books. And what's not to love about a guy with the nickname "Greasy Bear" who spends his life partying and mooching off his oil tycoon family?

Sad Paris

Plenty, probably. But for our purposes, Brandon's okay. Especially because he's one of the few pals of Paris Hilton who can keep his pants on. Still, he prefers when his rich pals parade around sans undies - and is not afraid to let Paris know it at the New York club Marquee.

Seriously. Between Paris' girl on girl action with sister Nicky, and the slew of nude Britney Spears pictures we've been inundated with, it's no wonder the Greasy Bear has become accustomed to seeing his friends in the buff. At this point it's the norm - he almost feels lost without it. Like K-Fed without a job. Oh, wait...

So come on, now. Show him just a little Paris Hilton pussy, will you? The poor kid's got nothing else going for him in this world. Also, see if you can get him a towel, will you, Paris? The guy is sweating like Nicole Richie during a breathalyzer.

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by Free Britney at

Who's the mysterious putz in this picture of Britney Spears? It's Brandon Davis! The professional partygoer and oil heir hung out with our girl last night in Los Angeles.

Guess with Paris Hilton nowhere in sight, Britney had to settle for a D-list sidekick. The pop star train wreck chilled at the Roosevelt Hotel yesterday, and while there were (thankfully) no nude Britney Spears pictures to be had, she brought a long a particularly pathetic posse fronted by none other than Brandon Davis. See below:

Jayden James Federline and Britney

Seems to us there's a correlation between Paris Hilton's presence and female genitalia being flashed and slung around like nobody's business.

In any case, T.H. Gossip, like the rest of the civilized world, is happy Britney has dumped Kevin Federline and is out and having fun these days. But seriously now. Surely she can find some better people to hang out with than this loser. He was the first to term Lindsay Lohan "Firecrotch," however, so we gotta give props where they're due.

Speaking of the elder Lohan sister, the third member of last week's Hollywood ho train could not be reached for comment.

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