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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are married! The couple has tied the knot in secret!

At least according to OK! Magazine ... so they're totally not married basically.

Brangelina Married!?

Of course, there is NO MENTION of when this happened, or what she wore, or really much of anything else ... only that “official nuptials” are still to come.

Whatever that means.

In any case, Jolie and Pitt, the celebrity gossip tabloid reports, “exchanged their vows with a small sunset commitment ceremony at their L.A. mansion.”

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Mother of six Angelina Jolie is reportedly pregnant again. Well, according to a supermarket celebrity news tabloid report she is, so you know what that means:

There's no way Angelina Jolie is pregnant again.

Angelina Jolie: Is She Pregnant Again?

According to Star, which also "broke" the Lindsey Vonn and Tiger Woods dating rumors, Brad is spending all of his free time gushing about it to George Clooney.

Would be sweet if it were true! In other news:

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What should be a euphoric time for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie has become anything but ... according to a couple of clearly desperate tabloids, anyway.

Behind their public smiles - and despite the glow of Angelina's dazzling $500,000 ring - trouble is brewing, say anonymous sources quoted by OK! Magazine.

It seems that ever since Brad and Angelina got engaged, their forthcoming marriage is causing all sorts of chaos, leaving the couple constantly at odds.

  • Brad and Angelina Wedding BATTLE
  • Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie Tabloid Cover

Heck, mere mortal weddings can bring strife and panic. But when you're the World's Most Glamorous Couple, with six kids and serious baggage, well ... it's crazy.

"You'd think them finally getting engaged would have them high on love, but since the proposal, the shine has worn off," a close friend allegedly claims.

"Of course it's mainly come down to them having to agree on the details of the wedding, including the prenup, and there are loads of things they do not agree on."

Meanwhile, Life & Style is running with Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux planning a summer wedding in Crete, which may actually be sort of accurate.

Still, Jen and Justin aren't even engaged, at least not that we know of, and the idea that they're trying to upstage Brangelina is patently ridiculous.

Aniston has been happy with her new man for some time, and does everything in her power to avoid stunts like that. Still, makes for great tabloid covers.

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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are engaged, as you now know. For real.

OK! Magazine and its ilk are either overjoyed that they get to print accurate news for once in their lives this week, or devastated because now that Brangelina got engaged, and confirmed it, they've lost some great source material.

Either way, here's their very special commemorative cover:

Brangelina Engaged!

"Yes, it's confirmed. It is a promise for the future and their kids are all very happy," Brad's manager Cynthia Pett-Dante confirmed to the AP last week.

"There's not date set at this time."

That's it. No more waiting for gay marriage to be legalized all over the world. No more coy interviews. No more ridiculous tabloid cover story lies.

Okay, those are clearly going to persist. But they'll have to branch out, because the secret wedding well has finally run dry. It was a good run, guys.

  • Brangelina Wedding Demands
  • Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Wedding EXCLUSIVE!
  • Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Wedding: OFF!
  • Brangelina Wedding?
  • Secret Wedding!
  • Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Get Married!

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Gotta love supermarket tabloids.

For approximately the 384th time, we're being teased with the OFFICIAL confirmation of a Brangelina wedding! It's FINALLY happening, people! Or not really.

How did it come about? After a frosty period following a bitter argument, the tension between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt has finally broken, according to OK! 

They would know, having manufactured the tension to start with.

Mrs. Brad Pitt!

The duo is once again planning to marry, the gossip publication says ... before the arrival of their twin boys. Yup, they're fake pregnant AND marrying!

"They simply had an amazing time Oscar weekend," says a supposed, nameless confidant, who adds that "since then, they've been madly in love."

After Angelina's leg-thrusting pose, how can they not be?

"The wedding was totally off: They were having so many arguments, but they've finally managed to bury their differences," explains the confidant, adding:

"Angie is expecting twins this fall, so it is a bit of a time crunch. They decided they'd both like to welcome their twin boys to the world as man and wife."

"This means the wedding has to happen fairly soon. They've both realized how much they want to be together, forever."

So they're getting married soon based on a fake pregnancy. Congratulations!!!!!!

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Another day, another hilariously bogus Brangelina wedding story.

Just yesterday, Life & Style reported that the wedding was called off. Now, In Touch claims that it's on ... and Angie is making some CRAZY demands!!

If it were on, which it's totally not, we could totally see that.

Brangelina Wedding Demands

Among the things Angelina Jolie is reportedly demanding after FINALLY being GUILTED into marrying her partner of six years and the father of six kids:

  • Picking her own wedding ring
  • A ban on any wedding cake
  • Wearing a black dress

Wow, sounds like a blast. We're almost glad this story is completely made up, because if it weren't, the leg-thrusting diva sounds like the ultimate Bridezilla.

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After more than six years and six children together, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had FINALLY decided to get married - at least according to OK! magazine.

But then a fake disaster struck and torpedoed the fake wedding! Rough!

The hilarious impetus behind calling off the nuptials, according to OK!'s cover story this week? Maddox coming across an article about Jennifer Aniston!

Curious, the couple's eldest son, 10, asked his dad who she was - and Brad told him. That sent Angelina through the roof when she happened to walk in.

Dun-dun-DUN!!!!!!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Wedding: OFF!

Says the non-existent, well-informed source:

"Brad didn't realize that Angie was home, and so he basically just told Maddox the truth: Jennifer was a woman he loved very much and was once married to"

"But that's when Angelina walked in. She lost it."

"Brad thought he had taken all necessary precautions and never suspected the kids would learn about his past by coming across a story about Jennifer."

The actress, 36, was livid with her partner, 48, for myriad reasons. No more posing with one leg hanging out - that thing is halfway up his ass about now.

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Here we go again.

After a hiatus of at least a few hours, the tabloid rumor mill is alive again with rumors of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's wedding!! Fake spoiler alert: It's SO on this summer!

After seven years and six kids (going on eight, according to OK!, which has thrown in a fake pregnancy for good measure), Brad and Angelina Jolie will finally tie the knot.

"Sources" say the world's most glamorous couple will become husband (her third) and wife (his second) in a small, stylish ceremony at their 16th-century French chateau.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Wedding EXCLUSIVE!

According to an alleged Brangelina inside source:

"Brad and Angie have kept this quiet, and they're talking about how and when to announce it. They really get a kick out of teasing people with this whole thing."

Funny, that's pretty much true of OK! as well.

Together since 2005, the couple has famously vowed to resist matrimony until same-sex marriage is legal in the whole U.S. But have they softened that stance?

Bogus tabloid covers aside, they have indicated that it may happen ... eventually. "We'd actually like to get married," Pitt revealed in a recent interview.

"We made a declaration that we weren't going to 'til everyone can. But I don't think we'll be able to hold out. It means so much to my kids, and they ask a lot."

Bottom line: It will happen. Just not at any chateau this summer.

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Angelina Jolie's life sure is a roller coaster these days.

In the tabloids, anyway. Just yesterday, she was headed to rehab after a heroin relapse, having withered away to 99 pounds. Today? Pregnant with twins! Again!

Whenever Angelina and Brad Pitt appear together, there's a tenderness and joy in their shared glances - and it has nothing to do with his Oscar nod for Moneyball.

Now, for the second time this month, a tabloid has reported that Angelina is pregnant. This time, it's OK! doing the honors, and she's expecting twin boys! OMG!!

Angelina Jolie: It's Twins!

"They were both sp overjoyed at how quickly Angie became pregnant this time," says a confidante. "They said that it showed that this pregnancy was 'meant to be.'"

Aww. Just imagine if she actually were pregnant.

But when Angie's latest ultrasound revealed there were two heartbeats, well, they couldn't believe it: "They were totally shocked," says the source. We'll bet!

No word if Maddox, 10, Pax, 8, Zahara, 7, Shiloh, 5, and Knox and Vivienne, 3, have heard the fake news, or if they're still pressuring dad to marry mom.

Either way, "They are struggling to keep it a secret. They are totally excited and buzzing, but have only spilled the good news to close friends and family."

And, via this fake source, O freaking K! magazine.

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Star’s cover story this week is all about Angelina Jolie and how she’s down to an emaciated 99 pounds due to shooting up heroin like a fiend apparently.

Three separate reasons this is ridiculous:

  1. The magazine proclaimed Brad Pitt got Angelina Jolie pregnant not even a month ago. Guess that didn't pan out, given the image below?
  2. The cover photo of the star is hilariously Photoshopped to the point where her head and body don't even look proportional any longer.
  3. She looked slender, but healthy THIS WEEKEND.
Angelina Jolie Wasting Away!

While the 36-year-old actress is clearly thin, she's not anorexic. Her upper arms have some flesh on them, her cheeks look full enough, and so on.

Star's claim that the 5'7" actress weight has plummeted to 99 pounds seems full-on absurd, but that's their claim, citing the good ol' anonymous source:

“Angie has gotten so skinny and frail, Brad thinks she needs professional help,” the source said, adding that Brad staged an “intervention,” to get her help.

“Her face looks sunken. On the red carpet, her arms look like twigs.”

Uh huh. “Brad is really concerned with her eating habits,” the source adds. “She’s existing on cereal bars and smoothies and slipped to just 99 pounds."

"She is so thin yet will still go on a carrot-juice fast for days. Brad leaves food out all over the place hoping she’ll snack.” LOL. Sorry, we can't take anymore.

Just for fun, check out Star's cover from almost exactly a year ago after the jump. Must be something about Angelina Jolie this time of year ...

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