by Free Britney at . Comments

In his latest column, which was originally about the Lakers-Rockets playoff series, ESPN's Sports Guy, Bill Simmons, relays an argument he had with his wife over Jayde Nicole and Audrina Patridge and their feud on The Hills. Really.

It is certainly a controversial topic that had people buzzing this week. Here's the excerpt from Simmons' column about the latest epic Hills confrontation ...

Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne Pic

I woke up six minutes into The Hills and the Sports Gal refused to change the channel because Audrina Patridge slept in Brody Jenner's bed in Hawaii and Brody's Playmate girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, was furious about it.

These are the moments when Bruce Jenner feels proud for all the sacrifices he made trying to win that Olympic gold medal in 1976.

But this led to an awesome moment in Twisted Female Logic: Audrina's friend, LC, then blamed Brody for not sticking up for Audrina and siding with his girlfriend because it was Brody's fault that he didn't kick Audrina out.

No blame for Audrina for going after someone else's dude? Really, LC?

Brody Jenner says his feelings lie with Jayde. Do yours?

I sided with Brody, the Sports Gal sided with Lauren Conrad, and I'm ashamed to admit we argued about this for 20 minutes. My argument in three parts:

  1. Audrina is a tramp.
  2. All women are natural enemies even if they pretend this isn't the case.
  3. A single woman will always do whatever it takes to land someone as appealing as Bruce Jenner's untalented but handsome son, even if it means seducing him on a reality-TV show and promising secrecy with him even though that show will be airing two months later.

The Sports Gal thus refused to admit I was right and claims she knows plenty of women who wouldn't do this. When I asked her to name these women, she named a bunch of her married friends, which indirectly proved my point:

Nearly all SINGLE woman between the ages of 25-40 will do whatever it takes to land an appealing male, even trashing whatever female code of ethics allegedly exists.

Agree? Disagree? Comment away, and choose your side in the poll below!

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

ESPN's Bill Simmons, a.k.a. The Sports Guy, is famous for his long-winded, hilarious sports columns, being married to The Sports Gal, and for watching enough television to rot the brains of even the pop culture aficionados at T.H. Gossip.

That said, it's only appropriate that when asked to describe his feelings on Miami, site of tonight's Super Bowl XLI, Simmons turned to a young reality TV star we know and sort of love. Here's what Bill writes...

LC: Lauren Conrad Style

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All I know is this: My assignment for this week was to come to Miami and tell you, the home reader, what it's like to have a Super Bowl here. Right now, we're working on a solid A-plus. The grade could change, but that's what we're looking at right now.

Since I can't sum up my feelings on South Beach in a single sentence, let's hand it over to the great Brody Jenner, who's making a noble attempt on The Hills right now to break the reality-TV record for "most cheesy compliments ever given to a girl while trying to get into her pants."

Two things you need to know about Brody:

  1. He's Bruce Jenner's son
  2. He's already been on two reality shows.

Now he's pursuing the star of The Hills - America's sweetheart, Lauren Conrad - who's far too stupid to realize that Brody called her only because he knew the cameras had just started rolling for Season 2.

You would think she'd catch on after Jason Wahler (her fellow Laguna Beach grad, and last season's nose-itching boyfriend on The Hills) pulled the same stunt on her and she was too dumb to see that one, either.

She's easy prey for a player like Brody, who, since his arrival on The Hills, has been laying lines on her like "you have the most beautiful eyes I have EVER seen."

We're about three more episodes away from having a threesome with him and a 6-foot bottle of Rohypnol. I don't see this ending well.

What does this have to do about anything? Well, in this week's episode, Brody finally lured LC back to his apartment and gave her his greatest line yet:

"There's nowhere I'd rather be than right here with you."

I don't feel that strongly about South Beach, but give me a few more days. We might get there.

Bill Simmons Biography

Bill Simmons Photo Bill Simmons is ESPN online columnist and pop culture guru. Also known as The Sports Guy. More »
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