by Hilton Hater at

Seven months pregnant and nearing her wedding day, Bethenny Frankel almost lost it completely this week.

But then Jason Hoppy came through for her and viewers of Bethenny Getting Married were treated to a happy ending. The entire episode is recapped below by our THG correspondent...

Yay!  Our Bethenny is back!  I found her to be the Bethenny we knew and loved from RHONY:  witty, sassy, a little neurotic, but mostly lovable.  Gone is the shrieking diva from last week who scared me half to death. 

One of tonight’s funniest scenes was when Bethenny tried to squeeze into the dress she had picked out only days earlier for her bridal shower.  She is expanding quickly this late in her pregnancy and things don’t fit from one day to the next.  Her large boobs seem to be the problem more so than her baby bump.  The dress is so tight she can’t even move her arms. 

After freaking out and trying on every other dress in her closet, she ends up wearing a top as a dress and it is ridiculously short.  “If I had a tampon in the string would be longer than this dress,” she says.  This is the kind of line Bethenny delivers in her unique deadpan that endears her to us so much.

The Housewives Girl

We see a similar situation later when Bethenny goes for a fitting of her lovely wedding dress.  “I’m seven and a half months pregnant.  I’m growing by the minute.  I wake up every day and I don’t know what’s going to happen.  And I’m eating like I’m going to the electric chair so I don’t know if I can fit into my underwear much less my wedding dress,” she says. 

I love it because so many women can relate to this particular issue, pregnant or not.  Who among us doesn’t hold her breath and say a little prayer when trying on a beloved item of clothing that has sat abandoned in a closet for months?  You could see that familiar look of terrified anticipation passing over Bethenny’s face as the women around her zipped up her dress. 

But let’s be honest here:  Bethenny seven months pregnant is a hell of a lot more toned and fit than any of us will ever be even when not pregnant. 

Though Bethenny did seem more relaxed overall in this episode, she was still a bit of a pill to Shawn, the beleaguered wedding planner.  She berates him over the phone about choosing the perfect cake. He heaves a mighty sigh as their phone conversation ends.  Then he high-tails it to Jersey to sample some cake because evidently Jersey is the only place that can pop out a wedding cake with a week’s notice.   “You never want to make her unhappy,” says Shawn about Bethenny.  “It’s like pregnancy hormones and it’s like scary.” 

As he says this his eyes roll in together so hard it almost seems like his head might implode.  He likes the red velvet cake and has worked hard to make the cream cheese frosting cream-cheesy enough for Miss Beth.  Hopefully she’ll like it because if she doesn’t we can expect her not only to “rip his dick off” but also to mount his head on a stake at the wedding.  Good luck, Shawn.

Elsewhere, Bethenny is trying to decide on the wedding reception menu as Jason is glued to March Madness on the boob tube.  Seeing him happy and relaxed while she is so stressed makes her head just about blow off.   “BEEF TARTARE?  BEEF TARTARE?!” she shrieks in his direction.  “I know it’s March Madness,” she says to Jason.  “If you want to see March Madness, you’ll see a pregnant woman light her friggin’ hair on fire and go crazy right now.”

Jason isn’t sure what to do because she acts like she wants his help but really she just wants to make all the decisions herself because she thinks only she can make the right decisions.  This is as obvious to him as it is to us, oh, and to Shawn too, of course.  “You can’t hang over my head all the things that you take on.  That’s your choice,” Jason says.

Bethenny then reaches a level 10 nuclear freak-out as Jason continues to recline and chillax on the couch.  Her voice gets louder by the second until Jason and Cookie the dog are cringing.  Then Jason asks, “Are we getting married for us or are we getting married for the production?  That’s what I want to know.”  It makes me wonder how he felt about signing up for this reality show in the first place.

Later, in an attempt to be more helpful and less lump-like, Jason surprises Bethenny with a trip to City Hall to get a marriage license.  To me this seems like sort of a lame surprise but, whatever, it made Bethenny pretty happy.  He also agrees to a honeymoon to St. Bart’s. 

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by Hilton Hater at

Let's forget that strange hit-and-run for a moment.

We'll also gloss over the whining and scripted events on Bethenny Getting Married?, easily the most ridiculous concept for a reality show to ever air. (After all, Bethenny is married! There's no question mark needed!)

Instead, let's simply focus on the recent fashion choices made by actress January Jones and professional celebrity Bethenny Frankel.

They each donned a white Alice + Olivia dress at public events over the last couple weeks, though the ladies accompanied the outfit by very different footwear. Compare and contrast now:

January vs. Bethenny

Who wore this dress better?

 

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by Hilton Hater at

Between a book signing, wedding preparations and a bachelor/bachelorette party, the script on Bethenny Getting Married called for Bethenny Frankel to act very stressed this week.

How well did she pull it off? Let's turn it over to our Real Housewives guru for the answer and the review of last night's episode...

Ugghhh... is it just me or is Bethenny starting to seem really whiny and bitchy?  I really like her and found her to be the most normal and relatable of the Real Housewives of New York City, but now that she has her own show I feel like we are seeing less of her cool and chill side and more of her annoying and super-control-freak side.

The Housewives Girl

Yes, I get that she is knocked up, planning an expensive shotgun wedding, moving in with her fiancée, and trying to finish a new book all at once - but I still don’t think these things are a good excuse for her to treat everyone in her life like garbage.  For example, how bad do you feel for the wedding planner, Shawn?  I know he’s a little bit needy and up in Bethenny’s grill a lot but what does she expect?

She asked him to plan a fantasy dream pretty-pretty princess swanky wedding with like two months notice. No wonder the dude has to ask her a lot of questions in quick succession.

So Bethenny goes to get a practice hairdo for her wedding and Shawn is driving her batshit crazy. He’s hovering a bit, but I don’t think he’s doing anything out of bounds.  Bethenny would not agree.  It looks like she wants to pull out a semi-automatic weapon and riddle his body full of bullets every time he comes near.   “I wanted to suffocate Shawn,” she says. 

Shawn notices the tension.  “I feel like we’re just not connecting,” he says.  The hairdresser cannot help but see the murderous rage in Bethenny’s eyes.  She asks Bethenny, “You’re in a cranky zone?”  No answer is needed.

Later, Shawn offers to take a load of Bethenny’s plate by assuming responsibility for the small details of the wedding.  She is so stressed you’d think she’d be grateful for the offer.  Not so much.  She is unwilling to let go of any decisions despite having a near nervous breakdown every five minutes of every day because of all the decisions she has to make. 

Even Shawn conquering the near-impossible feat of booking The Four Seasons for the wedding has not helped Bethenny keep a smile on her face. “This is supposed to be happy,” Shawn reminds Bethenny as her voice rises to a shriek.  “I know.  And I am happy,” Bethenny shouts at him.  Run for the hills, Shawn.  You appear to be aboard the Titanic 2.

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by Hilton Hater at

We have bad news and good news, THG readers. First, the bad:

This season of The Real Housewives of New York City is over. But, now, the good: our reality show correspondent sucked it up and watched Bethenny Frankel's spin-off show last night instead! She's filed the following report on Bethenny Getting Married?

Watching this show is a totally different experience than watching another one of the Real Housewives shows.  The major differences?:  This new spin-off focuses on one likable person and there’s relatively little drama.  My familiar stomach knot of extreme Housewives anxiety never reared its ugly head while watching Bethenny Frankel on her own.  I think I like that... but I’m not sure yet.

I’ll admit that I tune into both The Real Housewives of New York City and The Real Housewives of New Jersey to see all the catfights and shit-storms that crop up each week.  I imagine those of you who also watch these shows choose to come back each week for a similar reason.  Will a show about a Housewife be compelling without the normally high level of kookiness we associate with them?

The Housewives Girl

Also, is anyone interested in watching a show that is simultaneously brand-new and also totally outdated?  We all know Bethenny did in fact get married, which makes the question mark in the show’s title seem oddly placed.  We also know she had a baby girl and that, at least so far, Bethenny and Jason are still married.  Do I want to spend my time watching all these “new” episodes when I already know what the conclusion will be?

So far, my answer is yes.  I find Bethenny charming and relatable.  I just like to root for this girl even though she certainly doesn’t need anyone else cheering her on; she’s enough of a success as it is.

She has a nice smile and a great sense of humor.  She drops funny lines left and right and is perfectly self-deprecating.  When Jason objects to having a young straight man work as Bethenny’s new assistant in their home Bethenny says, “What 24-year-old guy wants to hit this?  I’m sure a 24-year-old wants a knocked-up 39-year-old.”  I love it - it’s funny but also true and quite unlike what we see women saying on most reality television shows.

Cheers to Bethenny!

When we were first introduced to her boyfriend (now-fiancée on the show and now-husband in real life) in this season’s Real Housewives of New York City, I will admit that I found him sort of boring.  He didn’t seem to be a match for Bethenny intellectually or socially.  But now I appreciate his demeanor.  He is the calming and kind "yin" to Bethenny’s hyperactive and crass "yang." 

And Bethenny thinks they are totally compatible and truly similar in most of their likes and dislikes.  She says, “Both of us would rather be eating potato skins at a mall.” Ummm... maybe not.  I can’t quite imagine Bethenny eating fatty-fat potato skins at the Chili’s in the mall, can you?

Jason also appears to be able to come up with his own funny lines.  While looking at Bethenny sitting at the kitchen counter in her pajamas eating frosting for breakfast he observes, “I love how your boobs now rest on your belly.  It’s great.  So sexy.”  He also tells her she is beautiful seemingly every 15 minutes.  What girl wouldn’t love this? 

He’s open about his feelings toward his soon-to-be bride when he says, “To be honest, she was engaged three times.  So I guess I should have a little concern.”  I would share your concern, too, Jason, if I didn’t already know that you actually do get married.

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by Hilton Hater at

Bravo is asking viewers to go back in time.

See, Bethenny Frankel is already married. Moreover, she's already given birth to a daughter. But that isn't stopping Bravo from thinking viewers will have an interest in watching how this all came aboard, as Bethenny Getting Married premieres tonight.

Bethenny at the VMAs

Sadly, the network is probably correct.

So, what will this spin-off be about? Frankel tells E! News one thing for certain: it will NOT feature any Real Housewives of New York City:

"It's not my life anymore. It's not a cliché when I say I don't believe in staying at a party too long... This is a time I really want people who are good for me, good for my family. I want clean energy and everyone to be happy."

Cameras will actually follow Bethenny into therapy, something she says was her idea.

"I need therapy [but normally] I don't have time to go. To be able to have therapy once a week [for the show], I run there. I don't even notice the cameras. It's a true depiction of my life, [and] I've learned a lot."

Wait - what?!? Bethenny needs psychiatric help... but doesn't have time to go unless it's for a show... and this is a true depiction of her life?!? That might be the least logical statement we've ever heard (and we've listened to Tila Tequila speak!).

In closing, Bethenny wants everyone to understand her better and says:

"I could have a C-section and not be on any pain medication, but if you give me too small a portion at the ice cream store I have a nervous breakdown. That's the kind of person I am."

And this is the kind of person people want to watch?

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by Hilton Hater at

Let's just get this part over with:

In an ideal world, we'd never see a photo of Bethenny Frankel's daughter. This reality star would resist the urge to profit off her newborn, turning down offers to pose with her for national publications because that's just exploitive and wrong.

Bob and Brooke

That important point made, let's also face it: daughter Bryn Casey Hoppy is so gosh darn cute!

Frankel shows off the tyke in the latest issue of People, telling the magazine about her 30 hours in labor, eventual c-section and how Bryn "came out like a doll. It was amazing."

Bethenny says she and husband Jason Hoppy named their child after the latter's brother Bryan, who died in a car accident 19 years ago. When they told Jason's parents about it, “Jason’s mom was hysterical, crying. They couldn’t believe we kept it secret.”

Frankel describes Bryn as a "good baby" and adds:

“We’re so thankful and lucky to have a healthy baby. This is the new me now.”

It just wouldn't be Bethenny if she didn't conclude with a note about herself, would it?

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by Hilton Hater at

Bethenny Frankel went into early labor last night, weeks ahead of her June due date.

But we're happy to report that new mother and daughter are happy and healthy today. Said the reality star's rep:

"Bethenny and Jason are proud to welcome their new baby girl, Bryn Hoppy, born at 8 a.m... in New York City. She is a 4 lb. 12 oz., healthy baby. Bryn, mom, dad and [their dog] Cookie are all very happy."

Frankel married Jason Hoppy in March. This is the first child for both.

You can catch the former's exploits every Thursday night on Bravo's The Real Housewives of New York City. Best wishes to the new family!

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by Free Britney at

Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy are now husband and wife ... and expectant parents in a matter of weeks. The pregnant reality star married Sunday in NYC.

After a rocky dating history that aired publicly on Bravo's The Real Housewives of New York City, Bethenny and Jason made it official at the Four Seasons Hotel.

As for her attire? A glowing, nearly eight months pregnant Bethenny Frankel donned a white suit with "Bride" inscribed on her back, as she posed for cameras.

Then a wedding dress later, presumably.

Congratulations to the newlyweds!

Co-star Jill Zarin wasn't likely to attend the event because of their epic feud, although cast members Alex McCord and Ramona Singer were expected be there.

The natural foods chef, former Apprentice hopeful and New York Times best-selling author has been on The Real Housewives of New York City for three years.

It was confirmed she became engaged to Jason Hoppy in October after months of rumors ... she also apparently became pregnant right around then it seems.

All the drama and excitement of Bethenny's big day was captured by Bravo cameras, of course, for the network's future spin-off, Bethenny's Getting Married.

That riveting, can't miss program debuts sometime this summer.

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by Hilton Hater at

You won't believe this, but a lot of drama is coming to The Real Housewives of New York City.

When the third season of the Bravo hit premieres on March 4, it will center on a feud between Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel.

"This is the angriest season yet," Zarin shared with Life & Style. "There's a lot of hurt, a lot of pain."

What are those feelings based on? Sources say that Jill is pissed with Bethenny because the script calls for it she wasn't there for Jill when the latter's husband, Bobby, was diagnosed with cancer over the summer.

"It was a difficult time for me and my family, and the loss of Bethenny's friendship tore me apart," Jill confirmed.

Frankel agrees that the season ahead is "brutal," but "I don't have any hard feelings about anybody. She adds:

"I'm too happy. I have too much to be happy about to worry about what's going on with other people."

That's the selfless attitude we love! Good luck with it, Jason Hoppy.

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by Hilton Hater at

Bethenny Frankel doesn't just hate fur.

She hates those that question the validity of her nude PETA ad.

In response to critics - most notably Real Housewife of New Jersey Teresa Giudice - that claim her bare body was considerably airbrushed for the campaign, Frankel has released the original, untouched image of her advertisement to Us Weekly.

"Everything I'm about is being honest and being upfront," she said. "So if people are talking and saying [the photo] was airbrushed...then, you know what? Here's the picture. Have it your way."

Bethenny Frankel Pics

The reality TV star added she would "never, ever allow them to put up a billboard that was really far from the truth."

She is, however, all for any billboard that brings her attention.

"I wasn't that freaked out about it," she said. "I don't know why. PETA has no interest in making me look sleazy. It was such an honor."

As it should be. After all, Frankel joins such naked, PETA-sponsored luminaries as Khloe Kardashian and Joanna Krupa.

Would you sleep with this Real Housewife?

 

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