Avril Lavigne

The Hollywood Gossip has learned that singer Avril Lavigne and her husband, Sum 41 frontman / wannabe tough guy Deryck Whibley, have bought a Bel-Air home for $9.5 million.

The previous owners? Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker.

Oh, if those walls could talk... they would say some ridiculously stupid things. Then go rant about it on their MySpace page and hook up with Paris Hilton.

According to the L.A. Times, Lavigne, 22, originally wanted to build a home but settled on the 12,000 square foot manse that Shanna Moakler and her wacko husband lived in while filming their MTV reality show, Meet the Barkers.

The three-story gated house has eight bedrooms and 10 1/2 bathrooms. Which is good, because it offers some privacy - not every house guest is gonna want to hear Avril Lavigne music echoing through their room.

Worst. Joke. Ever.

Built in Tuscan-style, the residence sits on one acre, has an elevator, an office, a state-of-the-art kitchen, a steam shower, a sauna, a pool, a spa and a 10-car garage.

Lavigne, who recently made headlines by talking smack about Britney Spears, is selling her current home for a paltry $6.2 million.

The Canadian-born singer and serial spitter's third album, The Best Damn Thing, is due out April 17. We're sure it's going to be stellar.

Avril Lavigne was cruelly mistreated as a kid.

For being forced by her mom to go see a Britney Spears concert.

The punky Canadian pop star, who may or may not have had plastic surgery, tells Jane magazine that she had to swallow (heh, heh) a whole live concert's worth of the older, more successful and more troubled pop tart - who's only three years Lavigne's senior.

"My mom made me go to a Britney Spears concert when I was young. I was like, ‘No I don't want to.' She was like, ‘If you're going to be a performer, you need to see other people." 

An interesting theory. One wonders if Bobby Brown's parents - in an attempt to introduce him to other abusive derelicts of society - forced him to go watch Ike Turner perform in concert or O.J. Simpson play football.

Lavigne further disses Britney Spears, saying that no one would've objected to her spitting at a paparazzo's camera, as was well documented last year, if Spears hadn't been, like, wearing no pants that week.

Sure thing, Avril. You and Deryck Whibley can diss Britney and try to justify your own despicable actions all you want, but that won't change the indisputable fact that you're cut-rate, hack, wannabe rockers.

You're one step above Sanjaya Malakar, peeps - and he's gaining fast. And it's like that. What.

Whether or not marriage has changed Avril Lavigne, it has changed her husband.

"I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him," Lavigne says in the April issue of Jane.

And she doesn't worry about Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley straying.

"We have a really good, strong relationship. There's a lot of trust," she says.

More so than, say, Sienna Miller enjoyed with that ass bag Jude Law.

The couple wed in July before 110 guests, including family and friends from their native Ontario, Canada. To the surprise of many, the ceremony was a traditional one.

"I wanted to be like, 'Oh, let's totally have a rock 'n' roll, goth wedding,'" Lavigne tells Jane. "But at the same time I was like, 'I've been dreaming about my wedding day since I was a little girl. I have to wear the white dress.' I wanted to be a princess, okay?"

Part of the appeal of a traditional wedding was its timelessness.

"People thought I would have done, like, some black wedding dress, and yeah, I would have. But at the same time I was thinking about our pictures. ... I didn't want to be, like, 20 years from now, 'Oh, why did I wear my hair like that? It's not cool now.' "

Lavigne says you'll never get a good crotch shot of her stepping out of a car or at a party. Nor will we see her doing drugs.

"I've never done coke in my life, and I'm proud of that. Oh my God! I could never. I am 100 percent against drugs," she said.

The same is true for Whibley, even if it hasn't always been:

"He doesn't do drugs. Clearly, he used to, because he talked about it, but I wouldn't be with someone who did, and I made that very clear to him when we first started dating."

But Lavigne is okay with one bad habit: plastic surgery. Just kidding. We're talking about spitting at paparazzi, for which she recently made headlines.

"I don't know what the big deal was, because I've been spitting at them the past two years I've lived in L.A.," she says. "It was funny. But I think if [Britney Spears] had had no underwear on that week, my spitting thing wouldn't have been talked about."

Or if Nicole Richie collapsed on the set. Oh wait, that's daily.

We've never heard of Arena magazine. But we may need to take out a subscription for it today. How come? Can you not see the Keeley Hazell picture below?

While this British lingerie model may be best known for a recent sex tape, she's mighty fine in still images, as well.

Moreover, the publication has managed to make Avril Lavigne look sexy.

Seriously. This punk singer looks to be hoping for an Antonella Barba photo-like makeover to her career with this picture shoot....

And we were surprised when nearly nude Hilary Swank pics popped up.

Looks like previously pristine singers and actors are beginning to climb about the naked picture train. What does The Hollywood Gossip have to say about such a development? All aboard, people.

All aboard.

Eat your heart out, Ashlee Simpson. There's a new game in town. And by game, we mean really annoying, young "musician" trying to reinvent herself. While it's almost unfathomable that another human being could suck as bad as the aforementioned waste of precious oxygen Simpson sister, Avril Lavigne is trying her damndest.

We've already observed that the Canadian "bad girl" thinks it's okay to spit at people and give them the finger. That makes her revolting and deplorable, but at least you can say there's nothing disingenous. But here's the kicker:

While trying to act hard, rebellious and all of that, Lavigne fails to note that she's just another vain sellout like the pop stars she claims to hate. She picks on Hilary Duff for her good-girl image and rips others' vanity and conformity.

Yet the supposedly counter-culture Lavigne has clearly gotten a pretty nice nose job herself, as this picture shows. Unfortunately for Av, that blond awful dye job didn't distract the watchful eyes of T.H. Gossip. What a hypocrite and a skank, too.

At least she mixed it up this time and simply flipped off the camera while screaming at its operator, rather than hocking a loogie in his face.

Look, Avril Lavigne. You're not hard. No one likes you. Whenever we see pictures of you or hear your awful songs, we want to slit our wrists. But then no one would be around to expose you as the hack you are. So we reluctantly go on living.

Sorry, but when a celebrity spits on photographers outside a nightclub two nights in a row, and their husband joins in the following night, and she continues to act like a mean drunken fool thereafter, there is little she can do to save her public image.

Not unlike when a celebrity gets so high and mighty about their "religion" that they start bashing others' psychological problems. Yeah Tom Cruise, we are calling you out. Or when a celeb gets busted for DUI and launches into anti-Semitic tirades. Sorry, this wasn't supposed to be about Mel Gibson. For once.

Wannabe punk Avril Lavigne took a break from spitting at photographers last night, but worry not, her husband, Deryck Whibley took over -- this time with possible consequences, according to the sleuths at TMZ.com.

After a night of partying at the opening of Area nightclub in Hollywood, the Sum 41 frontman quickly hocked a loogie at a cameramen, hitting him square in the glasses.

The saliva soaked photographer quickly took action, though, looking for a cop to report the incident to. However, his effort proved to be futile, as the only policeman nearby simply told him to call the LAPD.

THE LESSON LEARNED: Apparently, being the lead singer of an awful rock band makes you better than everyone else. Spitting on someone is illegal in the U.S., something the Canadian-born duo should learn, and fast! Man, why does everything have to be so complicated! Sorry.

This event follows a two-night tirade from Avril, where she launched an oral offensive on two separate photogs, including one of TMZ's own. Classy move, a$$hole. Really bad ass, too. You're a regular Russell Crowe. $100 says the editors of T.H. Gossip could demolish this Deryck Whibley jackass in a fight. Rock star shmock star. We're coming for you Deryck! And tell your parents to learn basic spelling!

Pop star and wannabe punk rocker Avril Lavigne wed Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley in Montecito, Calif., on Saturday afternoon.

The Catholic ceremony began at 5 p.m. and lasted only 20 minutes. Lavigne, 21, hails from Ontario, Canada, as does her 26-year old husband. The two were friends for several years before they began dating in 2004.

Whibley proposed in Venice, Italy, back in June 2004, while she was in the midst of her European tour.

"Avril looked beautiful! Her hair was very bright blonde. Her dress was simple, but elegant," a witness said of the ceremoney.

After the groom kissed the bride, guests flung rose petals on the newlyweds as they traipsed up the aisle.

"Attendees cheered with excitement, and were so stoked for the newlyweds," said the witness, who is totally not trying to cash in on her friend's fame by talking to the tabloids.

Lavigne may act like she's trying to act tough in order to sell CDs, but deep down, she says she's a real sweetheart, too.

"I might look like a tough chick â€" and I am â€" but I'm also a hopeless romantic inside," Lavigne said.

When asked if the nuptials will impact the release of more sub-par music from Lavigne or Sum 41, the newlyweds had no comment. They also declined to comment on whether their future children would be given names as absurd as Avril or Deryck. Actually, no one asked them that. At least that we know of. We made it up. However, if someone did ask either of those questions, chances are they would not comment.