by Free Britney at . Comments

As another enthralling episode of The Hills began last night, Whitney and Lauren were scheduled to work on a major photo shoot at Teen Vogue.

But Whitney Port, bless her heart, is "just soooo over it."

Heidi's Dance Moves

She's tired of being someone's intern - some of us here at the Hollywood Gossip feel the same way - and wants more out of this roller coaster ride they call life. Some of us (cough, Brody Jenner) are content with boring lives. Not Whitney!

But it's not abject misery at Teen Vogue yet. Whitney's sister, Jade, gets a totally awesome opportunity to be a part of a "real kids" photo spread for Teen Vogue, while Whitney works the shoot. Which is cool, except for the bitch photo editor, who is, like, a stickler for detail.

Needless to say, our girls do some serious eye-rolling.

Lauren's estranged BFF, Heidi Montag goes to Santa Barbara with her loser man, Spencer, for the weekend, leaving LC to sit and stew at the West Hollywood Villas.

The two make a plan to have a Heidi and Lauren alone night on Monday, after Heidi gets back from the weekend. Then things get real interesting when Audrina Patridge asks LC if she can set her up with her guy's roommate - and Lauren actually agrees!

When Audrina goes a step further and asks Lauren Conrad about Brody, Lauren makes a face like she's totally done with him. Yessssss. The man is hunky, no doubt - but after that crap he pulled last week, Lauren should have kicked Brody to the curb and we're glad she did.

The night of the exciting double date comes and Lauren's guy is, like a hockey player and he's soooo cute. In a very weird way, he reminds us of Jason Wahler. Only nicer. And not getting arrested every time we turn around.

Anyway. The girls have such a nice time and Lauren seems really happy for the first time in like, forever.

Up in Santa Barbara, Spencer Pratt and Heidi stroll along the beach and make all million viewers of the show simultaneously nauseous. They decide to stay another day, but Heidi calls LC and makes plans to meet at the apartment for dinner.

Audrina calls Lauren and asks if she wants to meet the guys for sushi, but Lauren turns her down for Heidi. Which is totally nice. But then Lauren gets home... and finds a note from Heidi saying she went to the movies with Spencer.

Oh. Snap. That girl has some kind of f*%king nerve.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Hollywood Gossip is torn.

As LC would say, "We're, like, so torn."

The Plastic Pairing

Or, as Heidi Montag might put it, "torn, torn, torn!"

Apparently that's H-Mont's new thing on The Hills now: to repeat every point she has two to three times. But anyway. While Brody Jenner has been turning on the charm around Lauren, and they've maybe, kinda like hooked up, he's not her boyfriend, okay?! How many times can she say it?

That said, we're not sure she should be allowed to spend a whole episode getting territorial about him when Jen came to town for her birthday and moved in on him. On the other hand, if we spend just 10 minutes crushing someone here at T.H. Gossip and another staff member knows it, we expect them to back the g*d damn hell off.

Which I guess means we are coming down on Lauren's side, like, at least a little.

But let us go on the record stating that either way, Lauren is sooooo better off without Brody Jenner! We all know he's just out to date every celebrity he can so he can get famous.

The feud between Lauren and Heidi all began when Heidi, still hurting from a prior rift with LC over the latter's (justified) Spencer-hating, began joining Spencer's evil scheme to get Jen and Brody to totally hook up!

Wow. This demonstrates the lengths Spencer Pratt is willing to go to piss Lauren Conrad off. But really, as with so many of these things, it's much better in Heidi's words, uttered during a key ladies' room conference with Jen: "Loves you, loves you, loves you," she said of the incomparable Brody J.

Lauren, bless her heart, seemed to take a low-key approach in her passive-aggressive attack on Heidi. All she came up with was being BFF-ish with Audrina Patridge - so much so that we seriously thought there'd be some hot girl-on-girl action. For a second.

Just kidding. Not really.

But Heidi Montag, being Heidi Montag, after all, didn't even notice, since she was so busy pushing Jen on top of Brody. Eventually, the crew â€" Heidi, Jen, Brody, and Spencer â€" decided to retire to Brody's condo for the final sealing of the deal, if you will. And Jen will.

We loved the extra touch - just twist that knife in real deep, girl - of Jen phoning LC from the scene of the crime to ask Lauren's permission to go in for the kill. We are, like, officially siding with our girl LC in this feud now, FYI.

"Is it really worth screwing a friend over for Brody?" the adorable Whitney Port asked the next day upon hearing the story.

She meant it rhetorically, we're assuming, but the Gossip will go ahead and answer just the same: "No."

Later, while Lauren steamed clothes at Teen Vogue with Whitney (finally, a truly intern-worthy duty), she got a call from Jen - and the exchanged the followed proves that the newly empowered, assertive Lauren was here to stay.

"Seriously, Jen, don't be at my apartment when I get home," Lauren barked before hanging up.

Oh snap! If only she had given that treatment to Jason Wahler last season (she got it right in the end, though). Later, at home, she gave it good to Heidi, too.

"I don't feel like you're the friend you used to be," she said. "Spencer has you frickin' brainwashed; it's so sad to see. He's a sucky person."

This is why you're our hero, Lauren Conrad. Rock on, girl.

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We're like, totally over Spencer.

So is Lauren Conrad, whether or not he bought her a dozen roses.

Heidi Montag Nude

Speaking of those flowers, whose intended recipient was in such question, which is sketchier: that Spencer would randomly bring them for Heidi on a lunch date, or that he would bring them for her to give to Lauren to make peace? Entertainment Weekly poses this very valid question.

So while the rift between Lauren and Heidi widened on last night's all-new episode of The Hills, Lauren was hanging with recent Heidi nemesis Audrina Patridge, dissecting the Spencer sitch and eating leftovers.

"Are we eating at the table?" Lauren mused. "Look at us adults."

She then analyzed the relationship between Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag for the 800th time, and predicted (shockingly) that it won't end well.

"I just have the feeling that it's going to be really bad," LC said.

For our part, we seriously can't wait until we can stop talking about that jackass Spencer. Seriously. I mean, even poor, innocent Whitney Port could speak of nothing else during our obligatory Teen Vogue office scene.

The only thing worse? Actually listening to Spencer himself talk. This is a guy who we just learned concocted a scheme in which Brody Jenner would rise to fame by making Nicole Richie eat. We're serious.

Nevertheless, the cameras are fixated on Spencer as he's macking on some more girls. That is, before Lauren Conrad stepped in and had it out with him.

"Heidi gets me and she knows who I am," Spencer shot back.

Take that, LC! Who knows why Heidi comes back for more of his crap, really. But this is The Hills. And incidentally, Lauren - America's Sweetheart - really came into her own sticking up for her friend like that, even if Heidi didn't ask for any sticking up for. Or something.

We're oddly proud of Brody Jenner as well, and not just because he's made it his life's goal to date every reality show star in California. The way he was able to stop trying to get Lauren into bed long enough to defend his friend, creep though he may be, was admirable.

"Of course he was a little bit wrong" Hollywood's most eligible bachelor said of Spencer, "But maybe he feels a little threatened by you."

Then it was back to those pretty, confusion-inducing roses for a few final plot twists. To recap, Spencer shows up with the roses at lunch; then Heidi tosses them to Lauren at home and implies he'd bought them to make amends. Now Spencer blabs to Brody, "Lauren thinks I got her a dozen roses, but it's like, 'Yeah, right, I'm not spending a dollar on you.'"

Then, during the climactic blow-up between Lauren and Heidi at home, Lauren was wondering, "Why would he buy me flowers?" Heidi finally cleared it all up: "I said it like a joke." Ooooh, good one. Apparenly Lauren wasn't so amused either, as this (weirdly) seemed to be the final straw that sent her stomping into her room and slamming the door.

What's to become of the LC-Heidi rift? Is Spencer out of the picture for good? We doubt we'll be that lucky. But here's hoping. Loser.

by Free Britney at . Comments

In the beginning of last night's episode of The Hills, it's another day at the office for our girl LC at the cutthroat sweatshop otherwise known as Teen Vogue.

As she and her friend and fellow intern, Whitney Port, prepare for the arrival of a New York intern for help in preparing for an event, the mood is normal.

Assault Weapons Ban

But when the New York intern, Emily, arrives, she is scarily efficient, rattling off a bunch of tasks for Lauren and Whitney first thing in the morning.

And it's, like, soooo obvious Lauren Conrad has not had her coffee yet.

The interns go flower shopping for the dinner they are planning and Emily is, of course, a floral whiz. Annoying! At the dinner, Miss Super Intern gets to stay and eat with the royalty, while Whitney and Lauren are unceremoniously "excused." Drama!

We don't see too much of Audrina Patridge this week, but that's not always a bad thing. Same with Brody Jenner. Things do seem to be cooling off between Audrina and Heidi. Somewhat.

Elsewhere, The Hills' line of the night definitely goes to Spencer:

"I'm not a liar."

Yes, he said this to Heidi, apparently unaware that he is being filmed the whole time. What does the guy not understand? They are going to watch The Hills at some point, dog. Haven't you learned anything from Laguna Beach?

Regardless, Spencer does some more fast talking about his night with the Playmates, but Heidi says she needs time away from the chump. And really, it's about g*d damn time.

Later, Heidi Montag, along with Lauren and Jen, celebrate their singleness with a love-bashing dinner. Our favorite part is when Lauren said the only time she misses having a boyfriend is when she "has to pick out something like a T.V. or when she has a lot of groceries."

Awesome.

But possibly short-lived. Cut to the next scene where Miss Heidi is telling a co-worker that she really misses Spence. Even her co-worker is giving her the "you're insane" eyes, but Heidi still wants to give him another shot. She gets all dressed up, looking super hot, and meets up with him. Come on, Heidi.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Break out the champagne glasses. Lauren Conrad is officially 21!

That means she can put away that fake ID and actually drink legally at Hyde and the other clubs she goes to on a nightly basis. And thank God for that.

How Does My Butt Look?

In typical fashion, Lauren celebrated her 21st birthday in style last night with her buddies (and co-stars on The Hills) at an L.A. hotspot.

Below, Lauren is pictured with BFF Heidi Montag (top, with LC, and bottom left) along with Heidi's BFF Audrina Patridge, who's been getting on our nerves of late. Are you interested in Spencer or not? What's with the drama every time you see Heidi at the club? Luckily, there was no in-fighting among the gang at last night's special occasion.

Stunningly, Kristin Cavallari was not invited. No word on whether that Casanova Brody Jenner was able to make it, or if he was too busy boinking Lindsay Lohan.

Audrina Patridge Biography

Audrina Patridge in a Bikini Audrina Patridge stars on The Hills. Maybe you recognize Audrina Patridge from that show ... or from those hot nude pics that surfaced... More »
Born
Birthplace
Yorba Linda, California
Full Name
Audrina Cathleen Patridge

Audrina Patridge Quotes

[The role is] giving me the chance to show people [what I can do]. This is why I moved to L.A.

Audrina Patridge [on snagging a movie role]

Lauren Conrad [on a random Les Deux club-goer]: He thinks I like him.
Audrina Patridge: He thinks you like him?
Lauren Conrad: Seriously, I never wanted to stab myself in the eye more.

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