Ashton Kutcher

 
Hollywood couple Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are big believers in the second amendment. No, you idiots, that's not the constitutional right to marry someone practically your kids' age.

It's the right to bear arms, and they certainly take it to heart, keeping guns in their Idaho home to protect themselves and Moore's three daughters with ex-husband Bruce Willis.

Kutcher owns a Springfield handgun while Moore has been trained to use a deadly semi-automatic Glock. Sounds a little scary, but you know how nuts some fans are, and everyone has a right to protect themselves and their home. As long as they keep their weapons at home and don't take them to work, they're setting a good example. David Stern would be proud.

In any event, the guns are locked away at the couple's home in Hailey, Idaho, but are kept within easy reach in case intruders should appear.

However, Ashton admits to a more unusual reason for owning the guns -- keeping unwanted suitors away from his three step-daughters.

"There was this guy (15-year-old) Scout was dating and I'd carry the gun around at all times, just to give him a subtle hint," he joked.

As for whether he has been tempted to bust a cap in Lindsay Lohan, who he considers a bad influence on Moore's eldest child, Rumer Willis, Kutcher has no comment. But you know he's thinking about it. We are.

When your stepfather is only 28 years old - and is most well-known for a reality TV show based on celebrity pranks - it may not be so easy to take his advice.

Nevertheless, Rumer Willis to listen up.

In at least one instance, your quasi dad, Ashton Kutcher, knows what he's talking about.

According to Life & Style Weekly, Kutcher believes "education is very important ... and he's afraid Rumer will think partying is better than studying."

Even worse, of course, is who Rumer has actually been living it up with: uber-skank, Lindsay Lohan. Reports have even stated that Willis is the personal assistant for Lohan, which can only mean she fans the flames of Lindsay's firecrotch and fluffs the pillow for the actress before every evening's sexual conquest.

And she's loving it! The same publication quotes a source as saying: "Rumer can't stop gushing about how cool Lindsay is. [She] feels honored by Lindsay's attention."

So the issue here isn't what Ashton said or didn't say; it's why Rumer's real father, Bruce Willis, hasn't stepped up and gone Die Hard on his daughter's behind.

It's bad enough you gave her that name, Bruce. Don't let her ruin her life because of it.

Hey, Brad, if things don't work out with that Angelina Jolie person, we know who you could court next.

Can you say Brashton?

Indeed, Ashton Kutcher has opened up about your fabulous body, telling a recent interviewer that your pecs and bis may have him thinking of going bi.

"I went and saw Troy, I was with my wife (Demi Moore) and with a friend, and every time Brad came on and he was like naked or whatever, they were like 'Ohh', and I'm like, 'I'm right here, I'm sitting right next to you,'" said Kutcher, "I knew this movie was coming up so I went out and hired Brad Pitt's trainer."

The self-admitted "pack-a-day smoker" who "hadn't really worked out since high school" had a tough time getting into top shape for The Guardian and admits he's already on a downward spiral since shooting wrapped.

"No. I'm done... I'll train for the next one, it's fine, I'll run a little bit, I'll stay in shape, I can still do some pull-up's and I do some push-ups and stuff but it's just brutal. It's a full time job it keep yourself in that kind of shape, it's no joke."

The Gossip knows, Ash. Our jealously of Perez Hilton has led to daily typing exercises and mouse click marathons.

New York City Fashion Week is about more than just Carmen Electra and Kristen Cavallari posing for a camera.

It's about other celebrities doing that, too. Let's take a look at a few of the more dashing ones.

Who needs The O.C? Rachel Bilson is excited about her role in the latest Zach Braff film, The Last Kiss. And she's looking mighty fine as she promotes it, as well.

Ashton Kutcher, meanwhile, isn't always talking about his relationship with Demi Moore or starring in bad movies. Sometimes, he's just looking very handsome.

Hey, remember when Jennifer Lopez was popular and often in the news? Yeah. Neither do we, really.

The last thing we learned from an interview with Ashton Kutcher? He and wife, Demi Moore, never fight. They're known as the anti-Heather Mills and Paul McCartney to, well, this website.

In the latest issue of Details, Kutcher isn't done talking about the love of his life. He knew his single days were over when single gals started ringing his doorbell late at night looking for a good time, and Moore began answering the door and screaming, "There's no fâ€"king party here!"

Well, ok then. Here are other tidbits from the interivew

On the night he met Demi:
"Honestly, I was, like, jocking some other girl that night. My focus was on hooking up with somebody else … I liked GI Jane, but I didn't think she was hot as GI Jane. She was never my cup of tea."

On his single days:
"It's like this. You're in the club. You've got a bottle of vodka. You're standing up on the couches. You've got your right-hand man [Diddy] standing there. You've got Danny [Masterson] and Wilmer [Valderrama] and all of our guys hanging out, and the fâ€"king girls are fighting to see who's going to be behind the table here ... Like, fâ€"king fighting!

Like gouging other b-tches out of the way! And then you go, ‘All right, we're going back to blah blah blah,' and then you're moving as a mass through the club, and you pick up about 15 or 20 more along the way. Now you've gotten into a car with, like, four select girls and you're at the new space, and you just start certain things up. It was so ego-fulfilling. It was retarded."

On one secret to a happy marriage:
"When your wife calls, you have to take it, no matter what you're doing."

(Gossip note: Got that, Kevin Federline? We know you're afraid of answering the phone because you're afraid it's your 15 minutes calling and ending things, but Britney needs your clothing advice!)

On when he knew Demi was The One:
"So when we went to dinner I organized it so she was sitting across from me. And then she said something at the dinner table that was, like, so fâ€"king profound that at that point, I didn't have a choice."

On his lack of confidence in his career:
"I'll read how sh-tty they think I am. I don't necessarily think all the critics are wrong ... I don't think I'm that good. And they don't think I'm that good. So I'm not pulling that feeling out of my ass. They're just backing up that feeling that I already have about myself."

You're not being Punk'd: Ashton Kutcher has grown up a lot. He sounds almost mature and responsible in an interview with Parade magazine.

Kutcher has been married for less than a year to Demi Moore and reveals they "had one argument in the first three months of dating and since then we haven't had any."

Sounds just like Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, only entirely opposite.

The former star of That 70s Show is now enjoying life as that "other dad" to Moore's three daughters from her marriage to Bruce Willis, while saying he and Willis are "teammates."

"There is not a human being I could love more than those girls and their mom," Kutcher, 28, said.

Ashton didn't seem sure about having a kid with Moore himself, stating "I feel like I have three kids, and we'll see whether we're given another child."

So, what accounts for this mellower, more profound Kutcher? Kabbalah, of course. As Madonna can attest to, following such a religion changes a person. Ashton said it's "about giving and sharing as an approach to life."

Not exactly dead-ringers, but there's something to be said for the apparent efforts of Lindsay Lohan boy-toy Harry Morton (probably fresh off a Pink Taco visit with the aforementioned skank, right) to emulate the look of Punk'd host Ashton Kutcher (left). Seriously, it looks like he even ganked one of Ashton's trucker hats -- from three years ago, when that was trendy.

Got some peeps you'd like to see featured in our next edition of Celebrity Look-Alikes? Drop us a line! We welcome fan input -- and any jokes about Lindsay Lohan.