by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Never before have so many people been so curious about the season premiere of an unoriginal, unfunny comedy.

But Two and a Half Men returns to CBS on September 19 and here is what we know about the first, Charlie Sheen-less episode it airs:

Ashton Kutcher on Two and a Half Men Set
  • Sheen's Harper will be killed off.
  • The cause of death? Viewers will learn he married, and then cheated on, Rose. At the character's funeral, she'll pretty much admit to pushing him off a train platform.
  • Season premiere guest stars will include Jenny McCarthy and John Stamos.
  • Ashton Kutcher will portray a billionaire named Walden Schmidt, one of several people who stop by to consider purchasing Charlie's house.

Will you watch the Two and a Half Men premiere?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Will Charlie Harper really be killed off Two and a Half Men?

How will new star Ashton Kutcher be introduced?

And, seriously, how does anyone find this sitcom funny?

Two of those questions will be answered on September 19, when season nine of the series premieres on CBS. To get fans excited, the network has released the following promotional image, which teases that "all will be revealed" on that date. Based on Jon Cryer's face, let's hope some things are best left a secret...

Two and a Half Men Promo Pic

by Free Britney at . Comments
THG Asks!

Welcome to THG's new feature, in which two of our celebrity gossip experts debate topical issues in the entertainment world and you decide who wrote the winning argument!

Today, THG Asks: Will Two and a Half Men succeed with Ashton Kutcher?

YES by Hilton Hater

Two and a Half Men has been the highest rated comedy on TV for years. Therefore, in order for the show to be a success, it simply has to maintain the bulk of that audience.

That's why Ashton Kutcher is an ideal replacement for Charlie Sheen.

Is he particularly exciting? No. Can I name his last critically-acclaimed movie? Gosh, no. (Seriously, try sitting through Valentine's Day or Killers.)

But Kutcher is safe, much like the show itself. This isn't Community, which takes chances and offers up unique, outrageous stunts and storylines.

It's a bland, predictable, cliche-ridden half hour of nonsense.

Ashton's the same. He's got a big smile and many Twitter followers and won't require writers to think for more than three seconds about any line they pen.

Sounds like a boring winner to me.

  • At Killers Premiere
  • A True Winner

NO by Free Britney 

#LOSING. My argument could begin and end there. Charlie Sheen may be a certified nut job, but he's right when he says he was Two and a Half Men.

If you think about it, the CBS comedy was a huge hit because it basically allowed the star to play a fictionalized but mostly accurate version of himself.

Charlie's popularity since going off the rails is proof of this. He's got serious issues, but he's a lovable loon, whether his surname is Sheen or Harper.

No offense to Ashton Kutcher, but ... Ashton Kutcher?

In the words of one respected TV critic, "I am far from impressed ... The move comes across as a shameless attempt to tap into a younger generation, one familiar with Kutcher from his days on Fox and MTV. I don’t think it will work.”

THG Asks you ... will Ashton and 2 1/2 Men thrive? Who won this argument?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Ashton Kutcher considers himself to be a lucky man. And not just because he landed Demi Moore as a wife.

The actor appeared at the CBS Upfronts this week, greeting reporters and ad buyers and telling the audience how psyched he is to be joining the cast of Two and a Half Men.

Ashton Kutcher, Two and a Half Men Cast

"I've never probably in my 13 years in show business received more phone calls and e-mails from people congratulating me on this job. You'd almost think I won the lottery or something, which I kind of did," Kutcher said. "I've got the best job in show business, and I am ecstatic about that."

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We already know what Charlie Sheen thinks of Ashton Kutcher coming on board Two and a Half Men. But what about the man who will actually be starring alongside him?

Jon Cryer released his first statement on the addition of Kutcher today, saying:

Ashton Kutcher Red Carpet Pic

"Ashton is an extraordinarily talented guy, and his presence will be an asset to our show. We are old friends from our male modeling days, and we're both looking forward to being judged for our comedic artistry, as opposed to our exceptional physical beauty."

Adding that he's "jazzed" to work with Kutcher, Cryer actually gave Sheen - the man who once called him a "troll" - a shout-out: "I'm extremely proud of the work we've done together, and I will miss him. But I'm also looking forward to this new beginning."

What a class act.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Ashton Kutcher is officially a Two and a Half Men cast member. But he won't be for long, according to the actor Kutcher replaced.

Charlie Sheen doesn't think the sitcom has a bright future, responding to this piece of casting news by saying: "Enjoy the show America. Enjoy seeing a 2.0 in the demo every Monday, WB."

  • Dashton Photo
  • A True Winner

Sheen did have something nice to say about Ashton, though. Sort of.

"Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer," he told TMZ. "Oh wait, so am I!!"

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Smart move by Ashton Kutcher.

Having signed a deal to replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men, the actor's first move was to state up front that the warlock is irreplaceable.

In a press release, Ashton said of 2 1/2 Men: "I can't replace Charlie Sheen but I'm going to work my ass off to entertain the hell out of people."

"I can't wait to get to work with this ridiculously talented 2.5 team and I believe we can fill the stage with laughter that will echo in viewers' homes."

  • What a Nut Job
  • At Killers Premiere

Sheen has yet to comment on his replacement.

Chuck Lorre, Men creator and Sheen's archenemy, says that he's elated to keep his "family" intact and "If I could be any happier, it'd be illegal."

According to reports, Ashton spent time with Lorre and the two got along great, something sorely lacking in his seven-plus seasons with Sheen.

Kutcher will NOT be playing the Charlie Harper character (we'd have paid to see that), but someone new who comes into the Men Malibu house.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Unless we're getting Punk'd, we now know who will be taking over for Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men.

Variety reports that Ashton Kutcher has signed on to the sitcom for the 2011-2012 season, with sources saying he'll receive a "huge payday" and creator Chuck Lorre has come up with a storyline for his character that satisfies CBS.

Ashton Photograph

The news comes just a day after word spread that Hugh Grant almost accepted the role, and less than a week before CBS presents its upcoming schedule to advertisers in NYC.

Kutcher rose to fame on Fox's That '70s Show. Think he's a good fit for Two and a Half Men?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

He can make us swoon, but can Justin Bieber make us laugh?

As first reported by The Los Angeles Times, the singer in negotiations to star opposite Ashton Kutcher in a comedy titled What Would Kenny Do?. It would focus on a high school student who receives guidance from a grown-up version of himself.

  • Concert Pose
  • At Killers Premiere

For Bieber, who guest-starred earlier this season on CSI, the role would make his first foray into fiction on the big screen.

With Never Say Never, of course, the 17-year old broke records and proved he has major box office power. Would you go see a comedy that featured him and Kutcher?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Now we know why Ashton Kutcher wasn't so worked up about those Brittney Jones allegations. The actor has far more pressing issues on his mind!

In the latest issue of Men's Fitness, the No Strings Attached star says the Apocalypse is almost upon us and he even knows how it will all go down:

"It will not take much for people to hit the panic button... You start taking out electricity and satellites, and people are going to lose their noodle. People don't have maps anymore. People use their iPhones or GPS systems, so if there's no electricity, nobody has maps."

Men's Fitness Cover Boy

Kutcher himself then asks and answers: What happens when all our modern conveniences fail?

"I'm going to be ready to take myself and my family to a safe place where they don't have to worry."

Continue Reading...

Ashton Kutcher Biography

Photo of Ashton Kutcher Ashton Kutcher made more headlines than ever throughout 2011. Following a modest movie career, he took over for Charlie Sheen on Two and... More »
Full Name
Ashton Kutcher
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