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Despite her ever-changing hair color, Mary-Kate Olsen (below, left) has kept one constant in her life - anorexia. Oops, we mean her boyfriend. That's Max Snow. He's a New York rocker type, people say. He may or may not be an actual musician (our research team is trying to confirm that), but he's a rock star in the eyes of Mary-Kate.

Max and his hobo lumberjack girlfriend, who have been an item since October, head out for coffee before checking out an L.A. art gallery on Thursday. Looks like they are having a fun time. Which is great, because Mary-Kate should enjoy herself now before Max Snow stars railing Paris Hilton, as is customary for her beaus.

Nate Lowman Picture

Meanwhile, sister Ashley Olsen, who's gone back to blonde herself, shows off her dark sense of style during a solo shopping outing in Beverly Hills on Thursday. Oh, those crazy Olsen Twins, always having to look the same. Which reminds us, there are probably some Full House re-runs on somewhere. That Kimmy girl is so hot!

Is it just us, or does Ashley look like an evil villain of some sort in that picture? Or a zombie? She and the vampire who possessed Britney Spears yesterday should hang out.

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Oh, those crazy Olsen Twins.

Tired of having her boyfriends pilfered by the Hilton Sisters, and weary from having shunned food since 1999, Mary-Kate Olsen has become deranged. How else can you explain this look (below, left)? She looks like a drunk, homeless lumberjack in no pants. That's hard to top. 

Mary-Kate Olsen of Weeds

Wow. David Katzenberg would be rolling in his grave if he could see this.

Meanwhile, her sister Ashley Olsen (above, right) looks surprised to see the light of day as she steps out of a car. The glare shouldn't come as a big shock when you live in Southern California... unless, of course, you happen to be a crazed, baby-eating zombie.

Dressed in black from head-to-toe, Ashley luckily avoided transforming into a bat on Monday by escaping into a safe haven known as Barneys. Phew.

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We used to think the Olsen Twins would turn out alright. Okay, that's not true. But we had no idea they would devolve quite this hard. Once a cute pair of child stars, they've been stripped of all that is human, courtesy of a long and hard Hollywood upbringing - and probably a fair share of mind-altering drugs. Now the zombie cyborg freaks are out for blood.

Mary-Kate Olsen of Weeds

Seriously, don't they scare you? They look robotic, more machine than woman, more terrifying than attractive. Ashley Olsen has bigger problems than being on PETA's $h!t list, and Mary-Kate Olsen can forget about parking tickets or losing all her men to the Hilton sisters (speaking of which, wonder how good ol' David Katzenberg is doing these days). They've officially lost their minds.

If you love your children, hide them from the undead. Do so now. These chicks are dangerous. On the plus side, at least zombies get hungry, unlike Nicole Richie.

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Nicole Richie (right) has more to deal with than the fallout from axing Rachel Zoe or denying that she has a plethora of eating disorders: PETA has just named her the world's worst-dressed celeb.

"This pelt-wearing party girl is all animal skin and bones," the animal rights group says of Nicole Richie. "She's an incredible shrinking woman with the heart to match."

A Nicole Richie Image

Wow. We never thought we'd say this, but here goes: Well said, PETA!

Crazy, possibly-Satanic Ashley Olsen was named the runner-up.

"Wearing fur does add 20 pounds," PETA says, "but if Ashley wants to fill out her frame, we suggest using a fork instead."

The celebs set 'em up, and PETA knocks 'em down, ladies and gentlemen!

Eva Longoria also made the worst dressed list, just beneath the lesser-known one of the Olsen Twins, to which PETA opines, "You'd think she'd be more sympathetic to the plight of rabbits considering the way she screws like one on Wisteria Lane."

Oh, snap! Someone cool PETA off, because they're on fire!

Nicole's BFF, Paris Hilton, may have herpes, but she was let off the hook by PETA this year (after topping last year's list) because she stopped wearing furs after seeing a grisly PETA video about the industry. But a spokesman says they're still taking a "wait and see" attitude before asking Paris to become a PETA "I'd rather go naked than wear fur" model.

Pamela Anderson is one of those models. She announced yesterday that she is divorcing Kid Rock, to the surprise of absolutely no one.

Hopefully, PETA asks Britney Spears to participate. She certainly shouldn't have a problem with eschewing fur - or almost all clothing, come to think of it. Man. Just look at this pic!

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Yes, apparently they need to buy some calendars with their dueling $150M fortunes. Halloween's over, losers! In this picture, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are dressing for success... either in the underworld, or some lame party somewhere.

Perhaps they're just trying to put a scare into Paris and Nicky Hilton, who seem intent on screwing their ex-boyfriends. Regardless, these would make some scary ass Halloween costumes. Hopefully they save them 'til next year. We are seriously creeped out. Not as much as when we see Nicole Richie, but close. Check it out:

Nate Lowman Picture

So who's who? If you must know, Mary-Kate Olsen is the Red Devil, while Ashley is Black Death. At least that's what we're calling those crazy, possibly satanic Olsen twins. They sure look ready to suck. Blood, that is.

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Okay, so it turns out it was actually Mary-Kate Olsen that used to get freaky with David Katzenberg, the current boy-toy of hotel heiress Nicky Hilton.

This story is definitely about Ashley Olsen, however. She's got a new look, one her hairdresser calls "Bottle-Blonde Floozy."

Ashley Olsen Elle Cover

THG NOTE: Her hairdresser never said that. That was T.H. Gossip.

In any case, peep it below. See which you like better. Here's a comparison of the lesser-known but significantly more-liked member of the legendary Olsen Twins, before and after the tramp treatment. She really got the works!

 

For us, it's hard to decide which we prefer. We love us some Mary-Kate and Ashley however we can get them... unlike Ashlee Simpson, a star that we only like blonde (and rolled up in a carpet and tossed off a bridge).

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In case you didn't believe us earlier, Nicky Hilton really is dating the ex of Mary-Kate Olsen. Yes, we know that we first reported it was the ex-beau of Ashley Olsen. But here's the thing -- they look really similar, those crazy Olsen girls! Try to watch Full House and tell them apart! Seriously! They're like twins! In any case, our bad. Please direct your attention below.

Nate Lowman Picture

On the left, you'll see David Katzenberg, son of very rich Dreamworks co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg, and Mary-Kate Olsen chilling. They look like a cute couple -- except for the whole Mary-Kate part. Good riddance.

On the right, you'll see David Katzenberg and Nicky Hilton getting out of a car and looking more than a little confused.

Why the puzzled expressions? Perhaps because Nicky just posted bail for David? What is with that orange jumpsuit? Is that what the kids think is trendy these days? In any case, he looks like a cool guy. Snoop Dogg would be proud... fo' shizzle, dizzle!

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Hotel heiress Nicky Hilton has apparently learned her lesson from big sister Paris about where to find love -- from those crazy Olsen twins!

That's right, Nicky and Paris Hilton cannot get enough ass. From men that used to get it from the Olsens. And who also just happen to be filthy rich.

Nate Lowman Picture

Paris, of course, famously had her way with Greek shipping heir Stavros "The Greek God of Poontang" Niarchos after he'd tanged Mary-Kate Olsen.

Now, Nicky Hilton is moving in on another man that Mary-Kate -- who's trailing by a significant margin in T.H. Gossip's exclusive Olsen twins poll -- used to bed but no longer deems worthy of her annoying time.

Nicky, according to the New York Post, has taken up with David Katzenberg, the ex of Ashley and the son of billionaire DreamWorks co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg. She just dumped Entourage star Kevin Connolly last month.

But Katzenberg's kidding himself if he thinks he's seeing Nicky Hilton nude on the first or second date. Says a Post spy: "They have gone to dinner but have not hit the clubs together. They are trying to keep it quiet for a little bit and keep it on the sly."

One has to wonder how long Nicky can keep anything on the sly... especially when dating the ex of Ashley Olsen's sister, who's the son of a billionaire. Well, here's hoping that Nicky finds some happiness this time... and that there are no shortage of brutal, hair-pulling cat fights along the way.

It's hard to handicap a favorite in that scenario, but we're going with Paris and Nicky over Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen. Those cuties from Full House couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag.

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Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have gone to great lengths to differentiate themselves in the past few years. Changing their hair color, adopting different styles, eschewing food at different periods in their lives, etc.

Nate Lowman Picture

That being said, T.H. Gossip can only wonder why Ashley (right) would now change her hair, an revert back to an identical hair-and-clothing look as Mary-Kate? Somewhere, Stavros Niarchos is smiling. Why? No clue. The dude might be back together with Paris Hilton!

The only thing we could come up with, as far as the Olsens' style swap is concerned, is that maybe they're trying to bring together a divided America, which can't decide what it thinks of these two young ladies. Or that they are on massive amounts of drugs, Nicole Richie-style.

We celebrated their thumbs-ups and oh-so-cute expressions Full House, only to be repelled years later by their insistence upon wearing their entire closet when they appear in public.

So it goes for Mary-Kate Olsen and her twin sister, Ashley, who were first billed on Full House as the mysterious hybrid Mary-Kate Ashley Olsen, as the producers did not want viewers to know Michelle was played by twins.

But if their precious movies and television glory taught us anything, it's that interchangeable switcheroo twin fun can always reignite a love gone cold.

Oh, those crazy Olsen twins.

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The Hollywood Gossip is proud to bring you Tale of the Tape, in which we break down prospective matchups within the celebrity world that you might never have considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.

Our current match-up features a pair of sisters... that's four celebs in all. You know these siblings well, and may harbor strong feelings towards them. Some of you may have even slept with one of them. Who are we to say? All we know is that when the gloves come off between the Olsen Twins and the spawn of Crazy Joe Simpson, you are gonna see some insane $h!t.

Jessica On Her Back

But enough with the hype. Here's Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen vs. Jessica and Ashlee Simpson for all the marbles. Ding, Ding!

1. PARENTAL INFLUENCE

Mary-Kate / Ashley: The fraternal twins have been forced to appear in TV and films since infancy, and are probably f*%ked in the brain for life
Jessica / Ashlee: At least they had a somewhat normal childhood before fame turned their Dad into an insane person
Edge: Simpsons

2. CHEST SIZE

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Nothing to write home (or blogs) about
Jessica / Ashlee: Have you seen this Jessica Simpson picture? Ashlee isn't hurting in this department, either...
Edge: Simpsons

3. STYLE

Mary-Kate / Ashley: While both have become style icons, Mary-Kate dresses more chic, while Ashley is more conventionally stylish. Both are known for wearing flip-flops, as well as accessories such as large sunglasses
Jessica / Ashlee: Whatever she wears looks hot (Jessica); Changes look too often to be recognized (Ashlee)
Edge: Simpsons

4. CAREER ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Starred on Full House (1987-1995), along with more than a dozen movies; Youngest people ever to receive stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
Jessica / Ashlee: Six studio albums and more than 16,000,000 units sold between them; Various acting roles
Edge: Olsens

5. EATING DISORDERS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: May not have ingested food since 2002
Jessica / Ashlee: Ashlee has slimmed down, but not to that degree
Edge: Olsens

6. EX-BOYFRIENDS, HUSBANDS, RANDOM HOOKUPS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Stavros Niarchos
Jessica / Ashlee: Nick Lachey, Braxton Olita, John Mayer, Bam Margera
Edge: Simpsons

7. FINANCIAL SITUATION

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Reported to be worth $150 million each; Named the "Most Powerful Young Women in Hollywood" by the Hollywood Reporter
Jessica / Ashlee: Very wealthy, but only making real money in the past five years or so... plus, Nick Lachey could take a lot of Jessica's dough!
Edge: Olsens

8. CONTROVERSIES & SCANDALS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Eating disorders, drug abuse, acting like bitches to Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan
Jessica / Ashlee: Little talent, adultery, plastic surgery accusations, bogus sex tapes, lip-synching on TV
Edge: Even

9. MEMORABLE QUOTES

Mary-Kate / Ashley: "I want to go to culinary school because I love cooking. One day I'd love to open up a restaurant or cafe." -- Mary-Kate Olsen
Jessica / Ashlee: "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'" -- Jessica Simpson
Edge: Simpsons

10. OVERALL HOTNESS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Stay away!
Jessica / Ashlee: Any day!
Edge: Simpsons

THE VERDICT: Sorry, Mary-Kate and Ashlee. Jessica and Ashlee have ruled this duel and straight up bitch-slapped you with a commanding 6.5-3.5 victory. Go do some drugs and throw up today's lunch to make yourselves feel better.