by Free Britney at

You'd think that a man who, despite being born in the Paleozoic Era, gets ridden by a naked Holly Madison on a frequent basis would have standards.

Not the case, at least in regards to his famous magazine. Hugh Hefner reportedly wants naked Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen to pose for Playboy.

Olsen Twins Look On

The 81-year-old men's magazine mogul - who originally asked the twins to model for him when they turned 18 three years ago - but was turned down - hopes the girls will accept his invitation to appear in a June issue.

The Olsen Twins turn 22 on June 13.

A source said: "Hugh Hefner thinks the twins are every young man's fantasy. But it may not be that easy getting them agree to pose for Playboy. They're all about high-end fashion these days. They want to do Vogue."

NOTE TO HUGH: The Olsen Twins are moderately cute on their best days, sort of resemble trolls and dress like grandmothers. Hayden Panettiere, though ...

NOTE TO FANS: Speaking of the Olsens, don't forget to play this week's new edition of our Caption Contest, featuring the gruesome twosome!

Hef also wants Lindsay Lohan to appear in Playboy and recreate the Marilyn Monroe naked swim from her movie Something's Got to Give.

A new New York Magazine shoot featuring Lindsay Lohan nude paid homage to the sexual icon Monroe. The racy shoot proved so popular that the magazine's website crashed under the massive volume of hits.

NOTE: We had a similar problem with that Vanessa Hudgens naked fiasco.

"Now we hear Lindsay is tempted to continue her nude homage to MM," Liz Smith wrote in the New York Post earlier this week.

"Playboy's Hugh Hefner has offered the young star the chance to re-create Marilyn's nude swim from the unfinished film Something's Got To Give."

We can only hope, fans of Lindsay Lohan naked. We can only hope.

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by Free Britney at

Welcome back, celeb gossip and Hollywood news readers across the globe, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, a Friday tradition and fan-favorite.

Who won this version of the contest, featuring the fashion-impaired, increasingly troll-like Olsen Twins? It was a tough call, but we chose Stephanie!

Nate Lowman Picture

The winning entry appears beneath the photo. Scroll down the page for the full list of replies, and good luck again in this week's all-new Caption Contest!

Mary-Kate: "Help Ashley my hand is stuck in this position from holding a Starbucks cup for so long."
Ashley: "Thats okay, your hand is the least of your worries."

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by Free Britney at

We know Sam Lutfi is frickin' creepy.

We've been covering that fact like it's our job.

Which it is. We are in the celebrity news business.

We have a point, we swear. Osama isn't the only twisted fool making gossip headlines this week - Star Magazine has profiled the messed up Olsen Twins!

Apparently, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are seriously weird! Who would have guessed? Oh, right. Everybody. For the last four or five years.

Twisted Olsen Twins!

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen: Some twisted trolls.

Anyway, the new issue of Star digs deep into the weird ass world of the rich twins. One of their bodyguards evidently spoke out on the sisters and dished some pretty good gossip. Hookups! Bad breath! Dirty hair! Sibling rivalry! OMFG!

Hopefully it examines Mary-Kate Olsen's connection to Heath Ledger, and includes juicy accounts of Ashley and Lance Armstrong tanging it a few months ago.

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by Mischalova at

This grosses us out more than the image of Ryan Seacrest and Erica Lancellotti having sex.

Ashley Olsen and Jared Leto - who dated briefly in 2005 â€" held hands and swapped spit at the Art of Elysium gala in L.A. on January. 12.

Olsen Twins Look On

"They looked like a couple and they were making out," a witness told Us Weekly.

However, an Olsen insider denies the duo are back together: "They aren't back together. They're friends."

The source didn't say anything about the last time Ashley Olsen ate. We're still looking into it.

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by Free Britney at

With Mike Vick and his cohorts safely behind bars, PETA is going after the evil Olsen Twins, dedicating an entire website and MySpace to that effort.

Fittingly, they have dubbed the anorexic former child stars "The Trollsens" and individually named them Hairy Kate and Trashley Trollsen.

The animal rights group is targeting the traveling freak show petite actresses for wearing fur and also including it in their individual fashion collections.

A PETA statement reads: "No one would argue that Mary-Kate and Ashley could use some meat on their bones, but the last thing they need is hair on their backs."

Olsen Twins Look On

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, you just got served. And we're sure as hell not talkin' about a plate of food. Couple of frail, anorexic waifs, these two.

Indeed, the truth hurts. The Trollsens MySpace reads:

"Hi, we're Hairy Kate and Trashley Trollsen. Like most trolls, we live under a bridge and wait for furry animals to walk by so we can skin them and wear them as hats. Because we're celebrities, we don't have to live by the same rules that ugly people like you do, and if we want to wrap ourselves up in someone else's skin, or drape our bodies in the rotting remains of someone's family, we totally can! And do we ever!"

Of course, these words may fall upon deaf ears. Living in their little troll bubble and only emerging occasionally for naked trysts with Lance Armstrong or Sean Avery, the Olsen twins likely don't give a rat's behind about this. Just saying.

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by Free Britney at

Trying to quell the recent rash of hot, strange dating rumors surrounding him, Lance Armstrong is now denying that he and Ashley Olsen are an item.

"Ashley Olsen and I are strictly friends," he told the New York Post. "We have hung out amongst other friends, and she strikes me as a nice, smart lady."

Olsen Twins Look On

The actions of Lance and Ashley paint a different picture, however.

As we reported last week, the odd pair â€" 36 and 21, respectively â€" both booked rooms at the luxe NYC hotel SoHo House and dined a deux at NYC's Waverly Hill after taking in the Broadway play Young Frankenstein October 29.

Meanwhile, Lance Armstrong's ex, Sheryl Crow is trying to debunk Life & Style's claim that she was disgusted by the May-December romance.

The tabloid said that when asked about the Ashley Olsen-Lance Armstrong fling, "Sheryl rolled her eyes and said, 'That's pathetic. Ashley's a kid.'"

But Sheryl Crow, 45, blogged: "Lance and I are friends. I have a lot of respect for him and what he does in the world of cancer. What he does in his personal life ... it is none of my business. Nor would I ever comment on it."

Does this mean Ashley Olsen and Lance really aren't hittin' it? Sad. Here's hoping Mary-Kate Olsen and Stavros Niarchos are still hot and heavy.

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by Free Britney at

Radar Magazine says that one of Lance Armstrong's six-year-old twin daughters recently brought Ashley Olsen to "show and tell." Yes, the little girl showed off daddy's strange new girlfriend at her Texas elementary school.

A source said that apparently, "celebrities do this all time."

Ashley Olsen Elle Cover

In fact, when Lance Armstrong was dating fashion designer Tory Burch, her son brought him to show and tell at his Upper East Side Manhattan school.

Ashley Olsen: Show and tell material?

In related news, an intern at The Hollywood Gossip recently found a mangy meth addict strung out and huddled on the street, experiencing "the shakes." So he brought her to our annual "show and tell" day at work. Turns out it was Britney Spears!

Just kidding. But totally believable, no?

Regardless, it looks like Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are really hitting it. At least we're more sure of that rumors of Mary-Kate Olsen dating Sean Avery and/or Stavros Niarchos. Not sure what the hell is going on with Mary-Kate.

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by Free Britney at

After riding to victory over cancer and to seven consecutive Tour de France titles, Lance Armstrong has now moved on to Ashley Olsen.

The new couple was spotted at New York hotspot Rose Bar on October 29 by an eyewitness who tells Us Weekly, "they were being very flirtatious."

Olsen Twins Look On

The next night, the odd duo took in play Young Frankenstein. Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen then enjoyed dinner and wine at the Waverly Inn.

And while Lance Armstrong was preparing to run in last Sunday's New York City Marathon, the lovebirds shacked up at luxe hotel Soho House, where they both had booked rooms. Sounds like a full house... of love!

Sources tell Us Weekly, however, that 21-year-old Ashley Olsen shouldn't let herself get swept away by the whirlwind Big Apple romance.

"Lance is a candidate for a midlife crisis," says an unnamed source, who the magazine says is close to the divorced father of three.

Why, because he's in his mid-life? Or because he recently broke up with fashion designer Tory Burch and singer Sheryl Crow, to whom he was engaged?

"Next week, he'll be on to someone else," another insider says.

Maybe Mary-Kate Olsen? That would make for some interesting drama... not just between the twins, but between Lance Armstrong and Sean Avery.

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by Free Britney at

Much like his Texas friend Owen Wilson and Jessica Simpson, Lance Armstrong is apparently getting close with a famous blonde that we never saw coming.

Yes, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen were spotted again Wednesday.

The seven-time Tour de France champ and the waifish Full House actress have have met up at least twice in the past week while the former is in town for the New York Marathon, numerous news sources have reported.

Olsen Twins Look On

Lance and Ashley first shared a special moment Monday night, getting close at the Rose Bar inside Manhattan's Gramercy Park Hotel. Their evening rendezvous was well documented in New York's newspapers on Wednesday.

Lance Armstrong & Ashley Olsen, take two... really?

An observer tells People: "Lance was hanging with her, definitely. [Ashley Olsen] was very flirtatious, and was sitting on his lap."

Another source confirmed that Ashley Olsen was with a group that included Lance Armstrong and was just "hanging out, having a good time."

Armstrong, 36, and Olsen, 21, reunited again in the wee hours Wednesday at the Waverly Inn. Armstrong was seen there earlier that evening with Owen Wilson.

The retired cyclist and fashion designer Tory Burch recently broke up after a year-long relationship. A rep for Armstrong had no comment on Olsen.

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by Free Britney at

Former child star and waif Ashley Olsen reportedly has a new, older man.

While we would normally take celebrity gossip reported by the New York Post or the New York Daily News with a grain of salt, when they're both reporting a story... you've got to at least reduce the size of that grain of salt.

The 21-year-old anorexic twin and bad dresser showed up to the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel Monday night with ... Lance Armstrong! A Post spy said:

"They came together with a group of friends. Ashley Olsen drank red wine, sat on his lap and was making out with him all night. They left together around 2 a.m."

Ashley Olsen Elle Cover

Said a separate New York Daily News spy: "Ashley and Lance settled in and within minutes, he was whispering in her ear and she was giggling like a schoolgirl. They totally looked like they were on a date."

Sources say Lance Armstrong has been spending more time in New York City since he bought a home there recently. Another source said, "He tried to make [ex] Tory [Burch] happy when they were dating by buying a place here, but she couldn't deal with him not actually living in the same city, so they broke up."

Maybe the lesser-known of The Olsen Twins just wanted some tips on how to wear spandex well. Who knows.

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