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We love tabloid reports you can set your watch by.

No sooner did Jessica Simpson get engaged to than gossip emerged about how she only did it to upstage Nick Lachey, and/or that Eric Johnson betrayed her.

Now the latest, predictable twist. Younger, even less talented sister AshLEE Simpson is planning to have another baby just so she can regain some attention!

ATTENTION-STARVED: Forget kids, Ash. Just wear that ... whatever that is.

Sources say the failed singer and actress, who raises son Bronx with husband Pete Wentz, is furious that her older, more famous sister Jessica gets all the press.

“Ashlee’s career isn’t going anywhere right now,” a source said, “she hates that Jessica gets more press, even more so following Jessica's engagement to Eric."

According to this almost certainly bogus report, “She thinks having another baby will help land some magazine covers and thrust her back into the spotlight.”

Sorry, but the only thrusting involved here will be on Pete's part.

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Ashlee Simpson-Wentz was apparently inspired by Emma Watson.

The alleged singer and former Melrose Place cast member chopped off her long hair, marking a major beauty change up and debuting her pixie cut on Twitter.

“Ashlee Simpson-Wentz (@ashsimpsonwentz) new blonde pixie haircut is cute. Ill try and sneak a pic to post,” husband Pete Wentz wrote, then made good:

Asslee

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Bronx Mowgli Wentz: Matching blondes!

“Yah fam headed out tonight stoked! Cute hair mama!” Wentz Tweeted at Ashlee, who is no stranger to frequently changing up her style. This is a big shift, though!

It's not like Miley Cyrus' braids, which are easily reversible. If you go for the pixie look, you are going all in. This trend seems to really be catching on with the stars.

Do you like Ashlee's new look?

 

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Joe Simpson, father and pimp of Jessica and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, is developing a television comedy for Nickelodeon based on his life raising two daughters.

Yes, we're serious. Because we haven't seen enough of Ashlee and Jessica Simpson's fairly uninteresting lives on TV and in the tabloids every day for 10 years.

This proposed 'tween series, a collaboration with comedy vet Tommy Lynch, is said to be based on the Simpson family's life in Texas before they were famous.

You know, the typically awkward, growing up years.

So we're sure there's nothing embarrassing to be mined from that, right? No, it's just Joe looking to further cash in on cash cows Ashlee and Jessica Simpson.

Joe and Jessica Simpson

Joe Simpson with his prized client.

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Joe Simpson will not take criticism of his prize employees sitting down.

At Monday's performance of Chicago in Manhattan, where Ashlee Simpson-Wentz made her Broadway debut, her dad admitted feeling under siege.

"We as a family are under a lot pressure," the pimp-in-chief of the Simpsons said, adding that peeps want "to make us look bad, want us to fail."

This is not true, and we resent the allegation. We merely point out and delight in the fact that they do fail when their acting is beyond painful.

"The world says whatever it says," he adds. "They always want to make it look like we're failures but we're really just a family that works hard."

Not sure who they are, but whatever helps Joe sleep at night.

  • Jess Simps
  • Ash Simps

Ashlee getting canned from Melrose Place wasn't the only setback in what has been a tough year for Joe's girls, however. There's Jessica. Ouch.

In 2009, she struggled with her weight, wore some hideous fashion, watched a coyote snack on her dog and got dumped by NFL star Tony Romo.

The night before her birthday, no less. That stings.

Fortunately, next year Jessica returns to reality TV with The Price of Beauty, a VH1 series that features her traveling the world. Scintillating.

The happy dad - who cried during Ashlee's Chicago performance - praised both of his daughters' ability to roll with the punches above all.

"My children look at ups and downs and rise up above it all and remain strong. We're just normal people, and we always try to be who we are."

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Recently, Jessica Simpson maturely took to her Twitter account to deride the CW for giving her younger sister Ashlee the pink slip from the Melrose Place cast.

Now she's rising to her sibling's defense yet again, hitting back at celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton, who dissed Ash and one-year-old son Bronx this weekend.

On Friday, Bronx's first birthday, Perez wrote: "It's been one year since Asslee pushed Bronx Mowgli through her vajayjay and it's all the family is talking about!"

Unfunny, perhaps. But quite true!

Perez ended his post by calling Bronx a "poor lil' thing" who "doesn't stand a chance!!!" Talk about stating the obvious, Perez. Still, is that so bad? Jess thinks so.

  • Defender of Ash
  • Giant Tool

It's a battle of the blonde bimbos.

Simpson hopped on Twitter later that day and wrote a scathing rebuttal to the blogger (whose real name, for future reference, Jess, is Mario Lavandeira): 

"Does perez hilton..whatever his name really is.. have no heart at all??Don't ever attack my family again.Sad to know u hate so deeply.So Sad 4 U"

We're sad for Jessica's grade school grammar and spelling teachers. But we're glad she's sticking up for Ashlee. Good thing Jess has so much free time.

Whose side are you on?

 

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At least Jessica and Ashlee Simpson have each other.

The no-talent hacks have certainly been through their ups and downs this past year, but one thing they can always count on is support from their family.

Ashlee, who is set to make her Broadway debut as Chicago's Roxy this December after getting fired from Melrose Place, defends Jess in Women's Health.

"My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady," the alleged singer-actress says of Jessica.

"It's disgusting that people would say those things."

Jessica Simpson, meanwhile, already returned the favor earlier this month, when she bashed the writers on her sister's former show, writing on Twitter:

"CW catching up on MP. Who writes this crap? i have had bad scripts to work with, but this? thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press."

Packin' on Pounds

Not the best year for the Simpson girls.

Simpson-Wentz tells the magazine that even sudden career shifts like this one don't get her down anymore, especially now that her family is priority.

"[Being married] made me able to share more," says the Melrose star no one on the set liked. "Now Pete and Bronx come first. It has humbled me."

As for her own body image, Simpson-Wentz adds the only person she wants to look good for is herself – and her husband. "Pete isn't worried about stretch marks," the mother of 1-year-old Bronx says. "He always makes me feel sexy."

"There's gonna be a time when I'm way curvier than before, and that'll be sexy too. What defines sexy is not someone's weight. Personally I like curves."

Now that's something we can embrace along with her. Fortunately, we'll be able to see Ashlee Simpson nude (kinda) on Melrose Place before she goes!

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After producing weekly Unintentional Comedy Hall of Fame moments as the single worst actress on TV, Ashlee Simpson was fired from Melrose Place.

But the CW ahow has no intention of letting her and equally awful, fellow pink-slipped counterpart Colin Egglesfield fade away without one last hurrah.

The two engage in a sex-filled farewell before packing their bags. How racy is it?  Colin said: "There are very few clothes involved in the near future."

He adds of Ashlee's character, Violet: "She's up for anything."

Doesn't mean she's good at anything, but, good to hear!

What brings these talentless thespians together for their last hurrah?

Sources close to the show say Colin and Ashlee actually have not one but two steamy sex scenes in the next few episodes, before they leave around episode 13.

That puts their departure around early next year, and it looks like our last impressions of them will be saucy ones. Rumor has it they're almost completely naked.

"Things get pretty violent and kind of crazy," Egglesfield says of his final story line. "Auggie ends up hitting the bottle and falls off the deep end a little bit."

Auggie's drinking was to be more developed, but because of his exit it was cut short. On the plus side, Heather Locklear's return engagement starts Tuesday!

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With her career paths narrowing by the week, Ashlee Simpson is turning to fashion line. The so-called singer/actress reportedly wants to launch her own fashion label.

It's actually not a bad idea. At least she won't have to be heard nor seen and can just slap her name on a product someone else created. Business genius at work!

The singer suffered a setback last month when she was dropped from the revamped version of Melrose Place following reports she feuded with the cast and crew.

Prior to being dispatched from Melrose Place, she landed the role of Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of Chicago, reprising a part she played back in 2006.

However, the 25-year-old is said to be keen on turning her attentions to the fashion biz by launching her own designs. Papa Pimp Joe must have suggested it.

On to the Next Career

If this is a preview of Ashlee Simpson's fashion line, then yikes!

A source told Star magazine: "Ashlee wants to start a clothing line. She wants it to be both preppy and punk rock. She thinks she can really succeed in fashion."

Her older sister Jessica Simpson, also an alleged actress and singer, has established her own fashion line, encompassing clothes, shoes, handbags and lingerie.

So basically, Ash would be trying to piggyback off her sister's fame yet again, having proven she is about half as good as her previous two endeavors. Woo hoo.

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Ashlee Simpson is a terrible actress. In fact, even using the word actress in the same sentence as her name is kind of insulting to female thespians everywhere.

But in addition to her lack of talent, her bad behavior helped get her booted from the new CW remake of Melrose Place, a source close to the cast tells Fox411.

"Ashlee was kicked off Melrose Place because she was a total diva on set, late all the time, and deeply disliked by fellow cast members," the insider spilled.

"It created a lot of discord among the cast.

Of course, another major issue, the source reports, was that "she could barely act." That and producers' need to bring in past stars got Ash the ol' pink slip.

On-set diva Ashlee Simpson is headed for the unemployment line.

Melrose Place producers desperately pushed for Heather Locklear's return as Amanda, but couldn't afford the actress' salary demands without cutting someone.

Choosing who had to go was not hard.

"They basically trimmed the fat and made it possible for Heather to join the show," says the snitch. "Heather is a much bigger name than Ashlee Simpson."

With Ashlee and Colin Egglesfield (whoe unintentionally comedic flirting made them one of our favorite TV couples) exiting in January, and Melrose legend Jack Wagner also rumored to be coming on board, are more cuts still to come?

No word on that just yet, but if the scene last night where David cries at his mother's grave is any indication, Shaun Sipos' agent better start making calls.

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As we recently reported, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz was given the pink slip by the CW's Melrose Place, joining the growing ranks of unemployed Americans.

In the wake of her sister's firing, Jessica Simpson says she is no longer a fan, taking to Twitter to defend Ash and bash Melrose Place for letting her go.

In Shape Jessica

Here's what she wrote to the CW:

"Catching up on MP. who writes this crap? i have had some bad scripts to work with, but this? thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press."

Of course, the show feels it will improve with her gone.

According to various reports, Ashlee was canned because producers feel she can't act, and was therefore responsible for the aforementioned bad scripts.

SISTERLY SUPPORT: However delusional she may be, Jessica has Ashlee's back.

"They hired her because they needed a good name to help create buzz," a set insider said. "But it backfired when she was so embarrassingly bad."

"Producers cut her down as much as possible."

Seconds another source, according to Us Weekly: “[Ashlee] is the worst actress, but nobody will tell her.” THG NOTE: We have certainly tried ...

Anyway, what's next for Ashlee? Possibly more acting. The girl is undeterred by the recent eviction from her day job, according to a source:

"She’s reading scripts. Acting is her focus now. If she had an album, she’d have to tour and be away from Bronx. She wants consistency.”