by Free Britney at . Comments

Unfortunately for Ashlee Simpson, she's a no talent hack and has gotten more plastic surgery than our main man Michael Jackson. Well, okay. That's a lie. But she's chasing his record!

Oh, and also sadly for Jessica Simpson's younger sister: the guy she's been kicking it with doesn't want to be her boyfriend.

Bronx Mowgli Wentz Photo

Apparently, holding hands and making out on a regular basis with Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy fame doesn't make her girlfriend material.

Wentz insists he and Ashlee Simpson are not an item, telling Rolling Stone:

"Maybe in a different universe, we'd be some hot couple, but not in this one," Wentz says. "I'm attracted to creative people and train wrecks, and there's no shortage of that in Los Angeles."

Hey, Pete: Britney Spears is supposed to be getting out of rehab in 30-45 days. Mark it on your calendar. Or just wait until tomorrow when she escapes out the window. 

by Mischalova at . Comments

They've both received nose jobs in the last year - performed by the same doctor, no less.Therefore, it's only natural to compare.

Fortunately, Ashlee Simpson stopped flashing her boobs long enough to pose for the following picture.

A Ring For Jen

Next to her, Jennifer Aniston and her new schnoz are looking sharp.

Or not sharp anymore. That's probably why she got the surgery in the first place.

The same surgeon actually cut up Cameron Diaz, as well. But we couldn't wrangle her away from Kelly Slater long enough for a picture.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Anna Nicole Smith is the red menace.

But it looks as though the Simpsons sister are giving the possible son-murderer a run for her rosey money.

Jessica Simpleton

Seen here, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson are leaving dinner together last night. You can tell the siblings are tight because they're wearing the same color lipstick.

Fortunately - or unfortunately, depending on your viewpoint - Ashlee's boobs remained covered for the evening by a nice scarf.

The elder sister, meanwhile, appears to be holding her liquor a bit better on this night out than she was in this Jessica Simpson picture.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Egotastic.com recently captured the lovely, worthless Ashlee Simpson in a compromising position. We feel it is our duty to pass this picture along to you. It's nice to see that despite her complete lack of talent, Ashlee is still finding ways to stay in the news. Perhaps those great Katie Rees pictures that surfaced late last month inspired her here...

Pete and Ashlee

Man, Pete Wentz is probably so jealous of us right now for having this pic. And if her crazy dad was pissed at Jessica Simpson for partying with John Mayer on New Year's, what's he going to say about Ashlee's exhibitionism here? You can bet he's gonna be ripsh!t over this nipple slip!

Actually, Joe Simpson so insane, you have no idea how he'd react to something like this. Since he paid good money for those breasts (in one of many plastic surgery procedures she's had), he might be glad they are being put to good use. Hell, he might even try to sell this particular image and "rack" up some cash!

by Free Britney at . Comments

In a desperate effort to remain relevant despite no discernible talent and no reason for living, Ashlee Simpson has systematically transformed her worthless self into a skanked-out, plastic version of Ashlee Simpson. Man, she could definitely be the cover girl for January's Crack Whore Monthly. What a cheap hack. See below.

Upfront and Center

Ashlee's tagline for 2006: New chin. New nose. New boobs. No skills.

by Free Britney at . Comments

We've seen many Ashlee Simpson pictures in our day. Some of which are kind of attractive, others just plain annoying. They really run the gamut. This one may take the cake, though, in terms of leaving T.H. Gossip utterly perplexed:

P. Wentz and A. Simpson

Sure, it's kind of cute at first glance. The artsy black and white style. The girlish hair, the innocent expression. But it begs a couple of questions:

  • What possible use does she have for the microphone dangling in front of her, as she clearly can't carry a tune to save her life? What an absolute waste (of a good mic and of oxygen).
  • How many body parts can one person have plastic surgery on? She's gotten than nose worked on, and that chin has taken a beating as well. Quite possibly her breasts, too - those things are looking much more supple than in months past.
  • Most importantly, why is this person famous? Lane Garrison has more talent in his pinky finger than Ashlee will ever have (even when you consider the sizable fake boobs).

We may never get the answers to these queries. But it's no wonder Braxton Olita dumped her ass. Beyond pole dancing with Britney Spears, it's hard to see what career this "singer" and "actress" should have.

Yep, she's as worthless as they come. Sorry, Paris.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

If you thought we were a bunch of jackasses before for thinking that Johnny Knoxville looked a lot like Josh Duhamel, well, you may wish to stop reading now.

The following celebrity look-alike may make Ellen DeGeneres and Owen Wilson look reasonable. But we just go where the eerie similarities take us.

Smiling Simpson

And sometimes they take us to talentless young sisters that ride the beautiful coat tails of their siblings; along with washed up former rockers. Or, to be more specific: to Ashlee Simpson and David Lee Roth.

Don't scoff. Take a close look at Jessica's little sister and the ex-Van Halen front man. They certainly sing with the same passion, don't they?

We just wonder if Nick Lachey has the same reaction when he hears "Jump."

by Free Britney at . Comments

Nick Lachey is a happy guy these days. He's got a better singing career than he ever had when he was married, and doesn't have to spend time with that half-wit Jessica Simpson either.

But that doesn't mean the memories from his unhappy union aren't lingering. Even as our boy Nick celebrates a joyous occasion - his birthday, as well as the birthday of his new squeeze, the sweet and vastly superior Vanessa Minnillo - he can't help but become enraged and suicidal when certain songs are played over the club's sound system.

Pete's Piece

Yes, Nick, we totally understand. Listening to Ashlee Simpson will drive your into a blinding rage. It certainly happens to us. We can't even imagine what it's like when she's your sister-in-law and you have to pretend she doesn't suck ass.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Rumer Willis would be rolling in her grave if she could see this. Why, you ask? Because she's apparently not present. Poor, neglected thing. Has young Willis' hero, Lindsay Lohan, ditched her lackey and gal pal for none other than Ashlee Simpson?

Fire Crotch Pic

We're not sure, but when these two chicks collide (and stick their faces really close to the camera) the skank factor is simply off the chain. Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler have nothing on these two. Well, that's not true. But it's a dead heat.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Earlier today, we documented just how terrible the poor, heartbroken Jessica Simpson is looking. We cried. We really did. No we didn't.

At least Jess can take solace in the fact that her younger, less talented and less hot sister, Ashlee Simpson, isn't looking much better.

Nice Lingerie

The lip-synching plastic surgery junkie hoe is back home following a five-week stint in London's West End production of the musical Chicago, which she somehow was asked to be in. We're still trying to figure that one out.

She apparently wasted little time getting right back into the party scene Monday, chilling with Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz. Though she looks really bored and out of it. Memo to this Wentz guy: make your move. She's easy and unintelligent. Nick Carter would tell you as much.