by Mischalova at . Comments

Is it any surprise Anna Nicole Smith has already been ordered to vacate her Bahamas home by October 31? Of course not.

The only shocker is why the planet earth hasn't given the ugly gold digger a similar command.

Playboy Bunny

Hubert Ingraham, head of the main opposition Free National Movement and a former prime minister, called upon the government on Wednesday to look into Smith's legal residency status in the Bahamas, where her son died three days after she gave birth to a daughter in the country.

"Clearly, Anna Nicole Smith is not a fit and proper person to become a permanent resident of the Bahamas," Ingraham said of the 38-year-old former Playboy model.

"Her general character and reputation don't commend her for such status."

Way to go, Bahamas! Why can't the U.S. come out with such statements? Would we miss celebrities such as Brooke Hogan so much?

The law in the Bahamas states that a person owning a house valued at more than $500,000 and having the means to reside without being employed â€" and being of good character â€" can be eligible for residency.

"If she doesn't own the house, then she would not have met the policy conditions which the government of the Bahamas has with respect to the grant of permanent residence," Ingraham said of Smith.

G. Ben Thompson, a Myrtle Beach, S.C., developer, says he owns the property in New Providence where Smith has been staying. He told People magazine he purchased the house for slightly than $1 million in August as a favor to Smith, whom he befriended after he met her through neighbors in mid-2005.

Right, he "befriended her." And Travis Barker "befriended" Paris Hilton.

However, Wayne Munroe, a Bahamian lawyer for Smith, told the AP that Smith owns the home: "I've physically seen the document that showed the property being conveyed to her."

Of course, if Anna Nicole does return to the U.S., Jessica Simpson will have competition for biggest boobs in Hollywood. Smith will also have to deal with the tiny, nagging issue of who is actually the father of her baby.

Our money is on Peter Sarsgaard.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Well, that's according to Anna Nicole Smith's mother.

The drama involving Anna Nicole Smith and her family just continues. In the latest ugly twist, Virgie Arthur, says she thinks her grandson Daniel - who tragically died in the hospital room where his mom had just given birth in the Bahamas - was murdered.

Playboy Bunny

Toxicology tests have shown that Daniel died of an overdose of methadone and the antidepressants Zoloft and Lexapro. This occurred just as his sister, Dannielynn Hope Marhsall Stern was born.

"Somebody had to give it to him. He had to get it from somewhere," Arthur said. "I just know Danny didn't kill hisself. He did not overdose hisself . . . Danny wouldn't take drugs to begin with. I don't believe that for a minute. You could not convince me of that."

Smith has not yet held a funeral for Daniel, whose body is still lying in a Bahamas funeral home.

A murder accusation now joins the porn/adultery charges levied by Sara Evans as the latest ugly side of Hollywood gossiping these days.

by Mischalova at . Comments

The pressure is really on Britney and K-Fed to produce Sutton Pierce Federline pictures now.

After all, even Anna Nicole Smith has managed to ignore her ghastly appearance long enough to produce pictures of her latest baby, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

Chilling with the Paparazzi

Howard K. Stern - Anna's quasi husband - is listed on the Bahamian birth certificate as the father.

Whether or not that's actually true, however, remains to be seen.

"Based on the timing of it, there shouldn't be a doubt (of the paternity)," Stern said, referring to the lawsuit hanging over his head.

Photographer Larry Birkhead alleges he had a relationship with Smith in California and claims to be the father of the newborn. This paternity battle promises to be almost as exciting as a day in the life of Peter Sarsgaard.

But, seriously, Brit and Kevin Federline. Where is Sutton Pierce? How can Anna Nicole have beaten you to the baby picture punch?

We hope everything is ok.

by Free Britney at . Comments

We were going to make a category entitled "Train Wrecks" for the site, but then it occurred to us that we already have an Anna Nicole Smith section, so there's really going to be no comparison. She gets married a lot, is involved in many, many legal disputes and has huge breasts. What more is there to say about Anna Nicole Smith, in all honesty?

Playboy Bunny

Above is a picture taken of the unattractive, probably-senile "actress" and "model" during her recent wedding. What the hell is wrong with this woman? Does she have something in her eye? Actually, don't answer that. We don't want to know. All we can say is that this makes the Kid Rock-Pamela Anderson wedding look bland.

Who knows if this jackass is one of the many people vying to be known as Anna Nicole's baby's daddy. But unlike her most recent husband, this guy's probably not going to die within six months â€" so we're making progress here!

by Mischalova at . Comments

It's not easy being a former Playboy Bunny who married an old man for money and then gave birth to a controversial daughter years later.

Just ask Anna Nicole Smith.

Playboy Bunny

The busty blonde was recently sued by Larry Birkhead, who claims to be the father of her newborn baby. The suit is requesting a judge to order Anna Nicole return her daughter, Dannie Lynn, to California, submit to a paternity test and have mother and child tested for drugs.

We're guessing this isn't the way Smith had planned on taking her honeymoon.

In a statement released by Birkhead's attorney, Debra Opri, Birkhead is asking for legal and physical custody of the little girl, born September 7th.

It reads he is "a first time father and he is responding to allegations made by attorney Howard K. Stern on behalf of Anna Nicole Smith" and "believes beyond any doubt that he is the father."

This goes to show that you've gotta keep detailed track of who you sleep with. At least Nick Carter appears to be heeding that advice these days.

Last week, Smith's lawyer, Howard K. Stern, announced on CNN's Larry King Live that he was the father of the child and that he and Anna Nicole had been in a relationship for some time.

But Birkhead appeared live on with Rita Cosby on MSNBC last night and declared, once again, that he is the father of the little girl. He told Cosby that he is "outraged and angry" and claims that Anna Nicole deliberately fled to the Bahamas to avoid custody and visitation discussions.

This sounds sketchier than a Bobby Brown child support payment. Maybe.

Cosby also asked Birkhead about unsubstantiated claims that Anna Nicole was pregnant once before with a child of Birkhead's but then miscarried, but Birkhead refused to comment.

by Mischalova at . Comments

How does Anna Nicole Smith mourn the sudden death of her 20-year old son? First, she sells the final pictures of him alive.

Then, she gets married. For the third time.

Playboy Bunny

While it's doubtful Smith and her longtime lawyer and confidant, Howard K. Stern, will top Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock in the multiple marriage department, the two still exchanged vows in a commitment ceremony in the Bahamas Thursday.

The ceremony was not formal and is "not legally binding," attorney Michael Scott said.

So, does that mean we can just announce that we're married to Eva Longoria and have it considered basically valid?

"It was low-key, on a boat," a source close to the couple told People magazine. "It was a simple ceremony, exchanging vows."

On Tuesday, Stern said on Larry King Live that he is the father of Smith's baby daughter, Dannielynn Hope, born Sept. 7 â€" just three days before Smith's 20-year-old son, Daniel, died while visiting his mother in the hospital.

"We love each other and it's been going on for a very long time and because of my relationship as her lawyer, we felt it was best to keep everything hidden. And we've done a pretty good job of that," said Stern.

Kind of like how Lindsay Lohan is trying to keep her dumping at the hands of Harry Morton secret.

Dr. Cyril Wecht, a private pathologist hired by the Smith family to investigate Daniel's death, told People Daniel had been killed by cardiac dysrhythmia caused by a lethal combination of methadone, Zoloft and Lexapro.

He also said on Friday that he has now ruled out any natural cause of death based on tissue samples from Daniel that he examined yesterday.