by Free Britney at . Comments

Forget illegal immigration - the U.S. Border Patrol screwed up big time on this one. Seriously. Couldn't we just seal off all major ports to keep this crazy, frequently-marrying "model" with enormous breasts from coming back?

Alas, Anna Nicole Smith is back in America for the first time since the death of her son Daniel in September. The reason? To resume her fight for her late husband J. Howard Marshall's fortune, of course.

Playboy Bunny

The former model, who moved to the Bahamas to give birth to baby daughter Dannielynn at the beginning of the summer - before having the power shut off and getting her fat ass thrown out by the Caribbean nation - arrived in court yesterday to continue her legal battle for Marshall's millions.

Although the new mom and defendant in one paternity suit after another was left out of her ex-husband's will, she contends that Marshall intended to provide for her through a special trust. Smith initially won a $474 million judgment, which was later slashed to $90 million and eventually reduced to zero as Marshall's late son E. Pierce Marshall fought to keep the actress away from his father's cash.

The U.S. Supreme Court then ruled that only federal courts in California could deal with her case. Smith attended the mediation hearing yesterday, wearing a black sequined suit and sunglasses. Classy, as usual. Howard K. Stern would be rolling in his grave if he could see this display.  But what do you really expect at this point.

All we have to say is boo, Anna Nicole Smith. Boo. Go back to the Bahamas!

by Free Britney at . Comments

They're both old, may have been hot back in the day at some point (we can't say for sure, one way or the other) and are quite possibly insane. What's more, they are both washed-up hacks who can't seem to stay out of the limelight, even when they're not actually doing anything. One of them can't keep her mouth shut. The other can't even keep the lights on!

Yeah. They're real normal. T.H. Gossip is proud present to you, this totally terrifying train-wreck twosome: Anna Nicole Smith and Janice Dickinson.

Playboy Bunny


Dear God, that is frightening. Coming Soon: T.H. Gossip's Alcohol-Drug Rehab Edition of Photo Finish, featuring the lovely likes of Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Don't worry, Anna Nicole Smith, you're no longer stuck in a home with no lights. You're just stuck without a home.

After weeks of speculation about whether or not the chesty crazy woman would be allowed to remain in the Bahamas, TMZ obtained a default judgment issued yesterday against Smith:

Playboy Bunny

G. Ben Thompson, the owner of the home in which Smith has been living, recently filed papers to evict her and Smith was required to respond to Thompson's filing by Monday. Shockingly, she failed to do so.

Yesterday, the court entered a default judgment, which means Thompson can now force Smith and Howard K. Stern out of the house.

Thompson - along with half the male population - was once romantically involved with Smith and claims she told him he was the father of her baby. Thompson says he put a quick end to Smith's claim when he informed her that he had a vasectomy several years ago.

Larry Birkhead is now claiming that he's the real father of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

And we're claiming that Anna Nicole Smith has officially passed Flavor Flav as the craziest celebrity. It was a close race.

by Free Britney at . Comments

You have to love a story like this. Not only is she in the dark in the figurative sense, as she is thoroughly devoid of brain cells, but the electricity in Anna Nicole Smith's house has actually been shut off.

Playboy Bunny

Sorry, we're still not over it.

Apparently Anna Nicole has lost her appeal (again, literally, not in terms of her sexiness or other redeeming qualities) and the power company that has left her in the dark is content to keep it that way. And God bless them for it.

As first reported Monday by TMZ, Ben Thompson, Anna's former fling who owns the home where she's living, turned off the power after Anna and her huge breasts refused to pay for staying there. Smith's lawyers proceeded to go ape$h!t and the power company quickly gave her a reprieve.

But Ben meant business and the lights are now officially off.

The mother of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern is still inside the house, which ironically has worked to her benefit. The police showed up yesterday to serve her with a second eviction notice -- and couldn't get in because the electric gate wouldn't budge!

You know what they say: Every dark cloud has its silver lining. And you know what else they say: Every love triangle with Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern has its bastard love child and coincides with the death of the woman's 20-year-old son.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments


Anna Nicole Smith has a lot of problems these days. Most recently, her power was turned off at home.

Playboy Bunny

Before that, the former Playboy model was worried that her son Daniel's soul was stuck in the afterlife. And we all know how awkward that can be.

Then, of course, there's that whole baby daddy thing. Is it Howard K. Stern? Larry Birkhead? A myriad of other contenders?

Perhaps worst of all, however, is that Anna will always look like she does below. Granted, she'll be able to pick up shopping bags without her twig-like arms breaking off (sorry, Nicole Richie), but she'll also scare children under the age of 10.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Before Anna Nicole Smith worries too much about the final resting place of her son, she may wanna focus on the lights in her house.

Smith has been living with her newborn baby and attorney Howard K. Stern in a residence in the Bahamas owned by former "friend," G. Ben Thompson. But Thompson wants the pair out.

Playboy Bunny

And last Friday, he contacted the power company rep to pull the plug.

Without warning, Anna had no juice for her hairdryer, no power to watch read The Hollywood Gossip online and find out the latest regarding Jude Law and Sienna Miller. Nothing.

Four hours later, after lots of threats from her lawyer, the power company agreed to a temporary reprieve until today.

On Friday, though, Thompson and his son-in-law flew to the Bahamas and served Smith with an eviction lawsuit. According to, Smith ran back inside the house, then appeared on the balcony and, in classic antebellum style, began screaming:

"You get off this property. This is a gift and I ain't ever leaving. And I'll show you, Ben, you ain't never gonna see the baby again! You did a declaration for that f***head Larry Birkhead!"

We think that quote speaks for itself.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The bizarre Anna Nicole Smith apparently worries that her dead son is trapped in the afterworld -- because he has no one to turn to.

The former model (seen below with little Danielynn Hope Marshall Stern), worries her late son, Daniel, was too young when her former husband, J. Howard Marshall, who died in 1995. As a result, Smith thinks Daniel won't be able to make contact with the oil tycoon in the afterlife.

Playboy Bunny

"I'm afraid that he's stuck," Smith said of her dead son. "I'm afraid he has nowhere to go. I don't have anybody that's dead that he can go to. He was very small (when Marshall died) and I'm just scared that he doesn't know anybody and he's afraid."

THG NOTE: We tried to reach Larry Birkhead, but he's in Disneyland. Aside from that, we have deemed it unworthy of our time to ridicule Anna Nicole Smith in this instance, as her comments have effectively taken care of that for us.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Thank goodness for the Internet. It allows us to provide fans with Hollywood gossip at all times.

It allows Travis Barker to react to a divorce party thrown by his ex-wife, Shanna Moakler.

Up Yours, Larry!

And now it's allowed Larry Birkhead, the probably father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, to speak out against his former lover and for his current child.

In a statement posted on, the disgruntled papa blasts the Anna Nicole: "I constantly wonder what kind of person would steal a child from another. I thought at first maybe because your brother was taken from your mom was the reason, but then I realized she started planning on keeping you from me all the way back in May."

Birkhead also talked directly to the infant Dannielynn, claiming he tried to go to Disneyland to cheer himself up, but the trip backfired.

"I couldn't help but thinking, after seeing all of the kids, what it would be like to take you there one day."

We hope justice falls your way, Larry. But a word of advice: if you do end up with custody of Dannielynn, do NOT buy her the Ali Lohan holiday album for Christmas.

We're just sayin.

by Free Britney at . Comments

T.H. Gossip knows a thing about fantasies. We wish we had the riches, fame, good looks and character of Mr. Brad Pitt, who not only wows us on the big screen, but pushes for social change in real life. He's inspiring. And on a simpler level, we wish we could see more Kristin Cavallari pictures. She's pretty.

Never have our fantasies involved either of the ladies below, however, with the exception of wishing they might disappear. To the Bahamas. Or another planet. Forever. In any case, T.H. Gossip asks you, fans, who would you rather wake up next to in bed tomorrow morning?

Everybody Together: Awww!

Hmm. It's a really tough call. Would it be an anemic Nicole Richie, withering away to nothing before your eyes, and unable to utter the simple words "feed me" for lack of energy? Or would you choose the gold-digging waste that is Anna Nicole Smith, and her HUGE BREASTS that may soon be give their own ZIP codes?

Tough. Very tough. We know. Feel free to take a cue from Richie -- or this Lindsay Lohan jack-o-lantern -- and vomit. Hard!

by Mischalova at . Comments

Give Anna Nicole Smith credit.

When the buxomy blonde wants a man, she goes on the attack. It's like the can smell the money love.

Playboy Bunny

"I wanted more than a lawyer relationship, and then started kind of flirting with [Howard K. Stern] and we kind of got it on," Smith says in an interview with Entertainment Tonight. "I just kind of attacked him and that was it. I kissed him first. He was the shy one."

Maybe, Anna, he was intimidated by your GIGANTIC BOOBS. Or your similarities to the anti-christ.

Eventually, however, Smith wore him down because the two exchanged vows in a commitment ceremony on September 28. They're also pretending that Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern is Howard's kid.

Isn't that adorable?

The couple has also been criticized for holding the ceremony so soon after the Sept.ember10 death of Smith's 20-year-old son Daniel, but Stern says the goal was to help Smith deal with her grief and fear of loneliness.

"For anybody to try and judge us and to try and say we're doing what's right or what's wrong, there's no way for anybody to understand what Anna was going through when Daniel passed," he says.

Smith's response to critics? "Don't worry about us. Worry about your own self."

Anna was then seen reading an article about possible future riches for Ryan Phillippe and jotting down his phone number. Look out, Ry.

Anna Nicole Smith Biography

Playboy Bunny Anna Nicole Smith died too young. She lived a sad, difficult life, one marked by many nude photos, dramatic family episodes, turbulent... More »
Full Name
Anna Nicole Smith
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