by Hilton Hater at

We often joke about Anna Nicole Smith.

After all, have you seen any of these pictures?

Playboy Bunny

But the fact that the Coroner in the Bahamas will conduct a formal inquest into the death of her son, Daniel, isn't very funny. TMZ has even learned one of the witnesses will testify that Howard K. Stern gave Anna's son one of the drugs that killed him.

The inquest will be held on March 26.

More than 20 witnesses will be called in the case, including Smith and Stern.

A source in the coroner's office says one of the witnesses will testify that Stern allegedly gave Daniel Smith methadone. Moreover, the witness will testify that Stern flushed the remaining methadone down the toilet after Daniel died.

The coroner made a quick decision to hold the inquiry after getting the police file on the case last Friday. Meanwhile, a paternity test to determine the real father of Dannielyn Hope Marshall Stern is due by January 23.

What a sad mess.

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by Hilton Hater at

Name your price.

That's basically the message Anna Nicole Smith has been sending to tabloids across the country, says a source, as she exploits her daughter's cuteness for financial gain.

Birkhead, Baby!

"After she sold footage and photos of the birth to a TV show, she starting seeing that child as a cash cow," says the insider of Anna and Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

"Howard K. Stern [Smith's lawyer and the man whom she claims is the father of the baby] takes the pictures and they sell them to the highest bidder."

Well, sure. Those millions Stern received from marrying an old, rich dude a few yeasrs ago can only go so far. Kind of like her lies about Dannielynn's actual father.

A paternity test has been mandated by January 23 for the menace. By that date, the real baby's daddy, Larry Birkhead, should be revealed. Until then, he's speaking out against his greedy former partner.

"I'm outraged that they're trying to pimp my daughter," Birkhead said. "If Anna wants to sell pictures of herself, that's one thing, but to conveniently put my daughter in every single photo to up the ante is sick and disgusting."

The Hollywood Gossip agrees, but wonders: Who would ever buy Anna Nicole Smith pictures?

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by Free Britney at

The Bahamas' top prosecutor says a decision will be made soon on whether an investigation into the death of Anna Nicole Smith's son, Daniel, who died under mysterious circumstances in Nassau, will be conducted.

The results of a police investigation into the death of 20-year-old Daniel Smith will be given to Chief Magistrate Roger Gomez by the end of the week, the Director of Public Prosecutions said.

Playboy Bunny

Gomez or another magistrate will decide whether an inquest - the British term for an investigation of deaths not certain to be from natural causes - is necessary.

Calls placed to Anna Nicole Smith's attorney in the Bahamas went unanswered Wednesday. He may be too busy with the whole paternity test thing to care.

Daniel Smith died at his mother's hospital bedside in Nassau on September 10, three days after she gave birth to daughter Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

The 39-year-old former Playboy Playmate has said she was seeking privacy when she came to the island chain in July. Eventually, as expected, the island chain grew tired of her. First, her power was cut off by the owner of the house she was renting. Then she was officially given the heave-ho by the country itself.

Meanwhile, Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead both claim to be the father of poor little Dannielynn. Anna, for her part, claims to care about Daniel.

Right around the time Smith wed Stern, a private pathologist concluded that Daniel Smith died from a combination of methadone and two antidepressants. Anna Nicole thinks his soul may be stuck somewhere in the afterlife. Really, we don't make this stuff up.

Official toxicology results have not been released. Bahamian police completed an investigation into the death of Daniel Smith, which they submitted to the attorney general's office in October.

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by Free Britney at

Two more weeks. That's how much longer we have to wait until the paternity test results confirm who the daddy of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern officially is.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, or have better things to do than follow this saga (oh, how we simultaneously envy and pity you), two dudes both claim to be the father of the latest spawn of Anna Nicole Smith. Why not one but two men, both able-bodied, would sleep with this nutcase, we have no plausible explanation. But that's a question for another time... and one to which there is probably no answer.

Bloodied Hulk

The fact remains that celebrity photographer Larry Birkhead claims he knocked up the former Playboy bunny a year ago on New Year's Eve (apparently they only slept together once?), and is the heavy favorite to be declared the baby's daddy. But last summer, the crazy Smith eloped with Howard K. Stern, who also says he sired poor little Dannielynn.

It's a chain of events that both amuses and confuses. But you can't get it off your mind when you are unlucky enough to see Smith. Just ask this WWE legend and absolutely enormous mustachioed man, Hulk Hogan, seen below partying with Smith:

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by Hilton Hater at

Larry Birkhead doesn't merely insist he's the father of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

He knows the exact date he impregnated her mother.

Time with Daughter, Photographer

The presumed daddy says he bedded former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith on New Year's Eve 2006, a little more than one year ago.

Perhaps Birkhead should've protected himself a little better when he did because such gross actions - have you seen Anna Nicole Smith pictures? - have led to a bitter paternity battle with the reality TV star, who claims the baby's father is actually her lawyer and companion Howard K. Stern.

"I've always maintained from day one I was Dannielynn's father. My little baby was actually conceived last New Year's Eve," Larry said.

Sort of makes you more grateful for how you spent this December 31, doesn't it? Especially if you're Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo.

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by Hilton Hater at

Howard K. Stern has until January 23 to continue pretending he's a father.

That's the date the judge in the Anna Nicole Smith baby dispute has ordered all DNA testing be completed by. Leading up to that time, celebrity wagering site Bodog.com has posted the odds of who will be named the father of Smith's female spawn, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

Playboy Bunny

Here are the odds: Smith's ex-boyfriend, Larry Birkhead, has a 10/11 chance, trailing Stern and his 5/7 odds.

Take our advice, gambing addicts: Bet on Birkhead. This is even easier money than wagering on whether or not Britney Spears will pass out drunk again.

Of course, the website also has an"Other" option, but it's a long shot with a 9/2 chance. Of course, this is Anna Nicole Smith. Would anyone be shocked if Brandon Davis was actually the baby's daddy?

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by Hilton Hater at

Consider this an early Christmas gift for Larry Birkhead:

A Los Angeles judge has ordered a paternity test to determine the father of Anna Nicole Smith's 3-month-old daughter Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern, People magazine has learned.

Playboy Bunny

The ruling, which was revealed on Thursday, came in a lawsuit filed by Birkhead, who claims that he â€" and not Smith's fiancé Howard K. Stern â€" is the father of the infant.

"If I was on anybody's Christmas list, they can scratch me off because this is the best Christmas present I could have ever received," Birkhead told People. "I'm one step closer to beginning a relationship with my daughter."

Anna Nicole Smith, meanwhile, had been residing with Stern in the Bahamas, where she gave birth to Dannielynn on September 7. She was just ordered to return to the States, however. A nation cowered at the news.

Right now, however, the whereabouts of Smith and Stern are unclear. What is clear, though? How downright scary Anna and Janice Dickinson are.

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by Free Britney at

Forget illegal immigration - the U.S. Border Patrol screwed up big time on this one. Seriously. Couldn't we just seal off all major ports to keep this crazy, frequently-marrying "model" with enormous breasts from coming back?

Alas, Anna Nicole Smith is back in America for the first time since the death of her son Daniel in September. The reason? To resume her fight for her late husband J. Howard Marshall's fortune, of course.

Playboy Bunny

The former model, who moved to the Bahamas to give birth to baby daughter Dannielynn at the beginning of the summer - before having the power shut off and getting her fat ass thrown out by the Caribbean nation - arrived in court yesterday to continue her legal battle for Marshall's millions.

Although the new mom and defendant in one paternity suit after another was left out of her ex-husband's will, she contends that Marshall intended to provide for her through a special trust. Smith initially won a $474 million judgment, which was later slashed to $90 million and eventually reduced to zero as Marshall's late son E. Pierce Marshall fought to keep the actress away from his father's cash.

The U.S. Supreme Court then ruled that only federal courts in California could deal with her case. Smith attended the mediation hearing yesterday, wearing a black sequined suit and sunglasses. Classy, as usual. Howard K. Stern would be rolling in his grave if he could see this display.  But what do you really expect at this point.

All we have to say is boo, Anna Nicole Smith. Boo. Go back to the Bahamas!

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by Free Britney at

They're both old, may have been hot back in the day at some point (we can't say for sure, one way or the other) and are quite possibly insane. What's more, they are both washed-up hacks who can't seem to stay out of the limelight, even when they're not actually doing anything. One of them can't keep her mouth shut. The other can't even keep the lights on!

Yeah. They're real normal. T.H. Gossip is proud present to you, this totally terrifying train-wreck twosome: Anna Nicole Smith and Janice Dickinson.

Playboy Bunny

 

Dear God, that is frightening. Coming Soon: T.H. Gossip's Alcohol-Drug Rehab Edition of Photo Finish, featuring the lovely likes of Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie.

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by Hilton Hater at

Don't worry, Anna Nicole Smith, you're no longer stuck in a home with no lights. You're just stuck without a home.

After weeks of speculation about whether or not the chesty crazy woman would be allowed to remain in the Bahamas, TMZ obtained a default judgment issued yesterday against Smith:

Playboy Bunny

G. Ben Thompson, the owner of the home in which Smith has been living, recently filed papers to evict her and Smith was required to respond to Thompson's filing by Monday. Shockingly, she failed to do so.

Yesterday, the court entered a default judgment, which means Thompson can now force Smith and Howard K. Stern out of the house.

Thompson - along with half the male population - was once romantically involved with Smith and claims she told him he was the father of her baby. Thompson says he put a quick end to Smith's claim when he informed her that he had a vasectomy several years ago.

Larry Birkhead is now claiming that he's the real father of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

And we're claiming that Anna Nicole Smith has officially passed Flavor Flav as the craziest celebrity. It was a close race.

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