Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie planning a secret wedding in France? No. Chance.
Still, why let facts stand in the way of a great cover story? In Touch isn't about to.
Then again, they've got a nice red ribbon claiming It's Official. Maybe we're just being cynical ... or his publicist is the one getting married in France.
You have to love the bullet points, each of which can be explained away. Angelina's stunning attire and Brad's vow are not necessarily wedding related.
The surprising celeb guest? That could be anyone at any event.
While they treat each other like life partners and their non-married status always provides for good speculation, we feel confident saying three things: