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The stars of MTV's Teen Mom are basically a case study in why people should think before becoming parents. It's not all it's cracked up to be, is it?

At the very least, there are pitfalls as well as joys. Most of the ladies know this all too well, with family feuds and even arrest records to prove it.

But through it all, they do their best. Well, mostly. Jenelle is a mess.

So, THG ponders, which Teen Mom star is actually the BEST mom, fighting through adversity and shining bright? Let's break down the candidates:

Teen Montage

Amber Portwood: Leah's mom must stand trial for felony neglect of a dependent and domestic battery. She was also in a recent nude photo scandal.

Catelynn Lowell: She gave up her baby for adoption, but she and her boyfriend / stepbrother still have a relationship with the child and its parents.

Chelsea Houska: Chelsea's devoted dad provides for his Aubree's every need. Chelsea herself? Mmmyeah not so much. Three letters, girl. GED.

Farrah Abraham: Despite adversity - losing Sophia's father in a car crash, feuds with his family and her own mom - Farrah goes hard. Respect.

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Teen Mom star Amber Portwood's car and home were vandalized last week.

The words "slut," "hoe," and "fu***r" were spray painted on the Ford Taurus owned by the troubled star, whose Anderson, Ind., home was also egged.

Jenelle Evans and Jace

All those yolks can be hosed off pretty easily, but the yellow paint on her car? That's pretty rough. You can see some vandalism photos over at Us Weekly.

Gary Shirley was not responsible for the vandalism. Most likely.

Portwood called the police to report the damage. The motive, she says? She's accused by her neighbor, Jamie Monroe, of stealing her baby daddy, Midas Fields.

Yes, that's the dude's real name.

Fields is a maintenance worker who has been living with Jamie for the three years, and they share a one-year-old daughter, Jaicee. So is he shagging Amber?

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Teen Mom stars Amber Portwood and Catelynn Lowell are setting the record straight when it comes to safe sex. Hey, they would know what NOT to do.

The two girls' infamously unplanned pregnancies and baby daddy drama have been documented on the MTV hit show and in celebrity gossip tabloids.

Portwood gave birth to their daughter Leah Leann (whose father is Gary Shirley) in November 2008 and has struggled to remain sane and out of jail.

Lowell and boyfriend Tyler Baltierra welcomed daughter Carolyn "Carly" Elizabeth in 2009, giving her up for adoption in a painfully difficult choice.

In a new MTV special, Top 10 Most Outrageous Sex Myths, they break down what they've learned and some myths that just aren't true, such as ...

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From one Teen Mom loose cannon to another ... some harsh words!

If anyone would be sympathetic to the new season's train wreck Jenelle Evans, you'd think it would be Amber Portwood, who's had her share of "issues."

Not the case. Instead of reaching out to Jenelle, Amber says she "despises" Evans' wild ways, calling her an "idiot" whose situation is nothing like her own.

"I pretty much despise what she stands for," Amber Portwood says.

Jenelle Evans (left) shouldn't expect any support from Amber Portwood.

"She's an idiot and I don't care if people know or not," she adds. "I literally have worked my ass off because of this whole battery thing to make sure I keep my daughter. They [MTV] shouldn't put her on, it's embarrassing!"

Tell us how you really feel, Ambs.

In all seriousness, Jenelle is unfit to be a mom, a fact that she admits. That fact and her perceived apathy are likely what irks the "passionate" Amber.

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Troubled Teen Mom star Amber Portwood says she is devastated over the nude photo scandal she's involved in and never intended for the pic to get out.

Mmm hmm.

Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley Photo

A good way to prevent such a thing? DON'T LET PEOPLE PHOTOGRAPH YOU NAKED. Especially when you're kind of a celebrity. Crazy advice, right?

The photo of Amber Portwood nude is unquestionably her - the tattoo of Leah/the kid from Two and a Half Men is unmistakable - and leaked today.

Amber Portwood says she's doing her best to stay positive.

"I'm devastated that these photos were stolen from my phone and sold by someone I trusted," Portwood told MTV. "It makes me sad that anyone would do this, and I'm horrified that something so private is being shared publicly."

"It's been a difficult year, and I just want to focus on what's important in my life - my daughter," said Amber, who faces felony battery charges.

The racy shots, reportedly taken a few weeks ago, feature Gary Shirley's baby mama flaunting her arse and caressing her stomach seductively.

Spoiler alert: It's not super hot.

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Amber Portwood posed nude a few weeks ago while a friend took pictures. Obviously. She "fancies herself an old-fashioned pin-up girl," an insider says.

We won't even comment on the ridiculousness of that statement, but Amber was at a friend's home when the mood just struck her to drop her clothes.

"She just really wanted to pose!" the source told Radar Online.

Looking Rough

PIN-UP GIRL? Yes, people are that delusional.

The source says she posed so she would not expose her private areas. Gotta stay classy. That's only for Gary. And Clinton, and Mike, and Adam, and ...

Anyway, the enormous tattoo of Leah, her two-year-old daughter, which she recently got on the right side of her torso, is prominently displayed in the pics.

"She got the tattoo as a way to show her commitment to Leah," a source said.

Will she get matching ink of her next kid on the other side of her? If recent reports are true, the reality star may have another on the way in 7-8 months.

Anyway, check out the very "tasteful" shot of Amber nude on Radar Online!

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Is Amber Portwood pregnant again? Would that surprise anyone at all?

Possibly and no. According to Radar Online, the Teen Mom star has tested positive at least three times during home pregnancy tests in recent weeks.

This isn't confirmed by Amber, but the gossip site claims pals and one potential baby daddy are convinced the wreck is with child once again.

Got (Port)Wood?

"When Amber tested positive, she decided to go to a local clinic to have a doctor tell her once and for all if she is expecting," a source close to her said.

"It's confusing because Amber is telling people that the doctor said the test was negative, even though the home pregnancy tests came back positive."

"There were a number of them too."

So who to believe - and which upstanding member of the Anderson, Ind., community could be hit up for child support payments shortly? Let's see ...

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Ashley Williamson, the reported new plaything of Gary Shirley, told police she believes Amber Portwood slashed the tires of her car twice in recent weeks.

That's on top of the threatening telephone calls she claims Amber made.

Teen Mom Stars Destroyed!

Williamson's accusations come just one day after the lifting of the restraining order barring Amber from contact with Gary, the father of her daughter.

Ironically, Portwood told police she was the victim here, after receiving threatening, sexually vulgar calls from her former fiance the previous day.

She could hear Ashley Williamson in the background, as well.

Williamson says Portwood was "delusional" and that she wasn’t even with Shirley at the time. Follow the jump to read the full text of her complaint:

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Break out the champagne. Teen Mom star Amber Portwood is no longer subject to a No Contact Order barring her from communication with Gary Shirley.

The on-off/often-sparring couple are finally allowed to talk and hang out again after an Indiana judge modified the restraining order against Portwood.

Giving Up Their Babies!

But there's a major catch. The judge is refusing to allow Gary and Amber to be around their daughter, Leah, at the same time. Probably for the best.

You know what's always a risk with Amber and Gary.

SLAP HAPPY: The three of them are only allowed to be in the same room while trading custody of Leah. Probably for the best, so Leah doesn't see more of this.

Portwood still faces two felony counts of domestic battery, one felony count of neglect of a dependent, and one misdemeanor count of domestic battery.

That's for allegedly beating Gary's ass in front of Leah and MTV cameras last fall. Portwood filed a police report against Shirley as recently as last week.

Amber is also accused of harassing his girlfriend Ashley Williamson, but there's no sign of any strife now. The couple "hugged it out" in court today.

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A trio of Teen Mom stars - two from the MTV show's original group and a n'er-do-well from the new cast - are featured on the cover of In Touch this week.

The hook for the cover story? How they're being Destroyed By Fame!

Yeah. Not sure if we buy it, at least not in two of the three cases.

Teen Mom Stars Destroyed!

Farrah Abraham seems to be happy and doing pretty darn well these days with her modeling career. If anything, fame has been pretty good to Farrah!

Jenelle Evans? Way too many issues there to blame on fame.

She's just a complete mess. As is Amber Portwood, but in her situation, Teen Mom and the attention from it may exacerbate her problems with Gary Shirley.

If she were really hooked on pills and trying to be a porn star, as the cover alleges, now that would make for a compelling read. But we doubt that's true.

It would've been in one of the 29 police reports. Think about it.

Amber Portwood Biography

Amber and Leah (Teen Mom) Amber Portwood is a star on MTV's Teen Mom. She is the mother of Leah Leann Shirley, whose father is Gary Shirley, Amber's on-off fiance... More »
Birthplace
Anderson, Indiana
Full Name
Amber Portwood
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