I hate to sound like Kelly, but Simon is so weird. He's always creeped me out and this installment of The Real Housewives of New York City was no exception. So let's recap everyone's quirks in our patented +/- review, shall we?
Cindy throws a party to launch her new wax and body bejeweling kits. Everyone gets into the act, but PLUS 10 for Brad going all out with a bejeweled tramp stamp. No, we haven't gotten to the weird part yet.
That takes place when Simon finds Jill. First, he sits down so close he's practically feeling her up. MINUS 5 for already making me uncomfortable. Then he starts the conversation by saying, "You and Alex have burned."
Excuse me? As Jill is just as confused as the rest of us, he explains that he's referring to Jill and Alex sharing the fire pit. Finally, he goes into his request for lunch because "we need to talk."