Alex McCord The Real Housewives of New York City

I hate to sound like Kelly, but Simon is so weird. He's always creeped me out and this installment of The Real Housewives of New York City was no exception. So let's recap everyone's quirks in our patented +/- review, shall we?

Cindy throws a party to launch her new wax and body bejeweling kits. Everyone gets into the act, but PLUS 10 for Brad going all out with a bejeweled tramp stamp. No, we haven't gotten to the weird part yet.

That takes place when Simon finds Jill. First, he sits down so close he's practically feeling her up. MINUS 5 for already making me uncomfortable. Then he starts the conversation by saying, "You and Alex have burned."

Excuse me? As Jill is just as confused as the rest of us, he explains that he's referring to Jill and Alex sharing the fire pit. Finally, he goes into his request for lunch because "we need to talk."

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The casting carousal on The Real Housewives of New York City may be spinning again.

Sources tell Hollywood Life that Alex McCord and Cindy Barshop won't return to the Bravo franchise next season. No other details have been given, but Sonja Morgan, Ramona Singer, Jill Zarin, Countess LuAnn de Lesseps and Kelly Killoren Bensimon are all expected back.

McCord is an original cast member, while Barshop was brought in to fill the void left when Bethenny Frankel departed the series.

In response to this report, a rep for Bravo simply said: “No decisions have been made regarding next season and everything at this point is rumor.”

This isn't the first time McCord has been allegedly let go. We'll keep fans apprised of the latest casting news as soon as it breaks.

Birthdays abound on this week's Real Housewives of New York. Whose party was the hottest? Whose was a train wreck and who wore the shortest skirt? Read on as we analyze all things Housewives in our +/- review!

How many birthday parties can they fit into one episode of Housewives? Three must be a new record and I'll offer up a Plus 5 for giving equal time to them all.

Jill is up first as Luann throws her a surprise birthday party at Chez Josephine. Luann says the venue is red and outgoing and reminds her of Jill Zarin. Ramona finds it claustrophobic and cramped. I simply think the entire party was a train wreck. 

First we have the cheesy magician who will seemingly try anything to get on camera. Minus 3. Then what the hell is Simon wearing? I'll give him a Plus 5 for never ceasing to amaze me (or is it scare me) with his wardrobe choices. 

Ramona is downright frightening as she dons a red wig and starts screeching "Bobby, I want bigger diamonds." If her goal isn't to insult Jill, I'm lost as what it is. Minus 7 for embarrassing herself and the birthday girl.

Can someone please tell Luann that she can't sing? Her performance and Vegas showgirl / drag queen impersonation is a pathetic attempt to be the center of attention. Minus 10 for not knowing when to sit back and play the good host, quietly.

From there we move on to the Sweet Sixteen parties, minus the sweet. 

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Tears. Lots of tears.

That's what happens when things spiral out of control between Jill and Ramona. It's the aftermath of their battle as The Real Housewives of New York City continue their Moroccan adventure. THG's +/- recap breaks it down:

"That will be a day rotting in hell before I kiss that woman's ass." Jill cries. Jill's upset but then Luann jumps in saying she won't let that happen. Then she storms off to find Ramona. Minus 7 for taking sides without having been in the room.

Alex describes Luann as acting as though she were watching the Christians being fed to the lions and although I was taken aback by the description, I can't disagree with it. Luann reacts with a strange combination of judgement, condescension, and glee. 

On the other side of the house Ramona is crying as much as Jill but her friends have a different way of dealing with it as Sonja asks, "Do we have any Pinot Grigio?" Plus 5 for knowing the best way to calm Ramona.

Everyone tries to pull it together enough to go out and have a good time but Jill and Ramona seem to be the only ones really trying. The rest of the group can't keep from sniping at one another. 

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The Real Housewives of New York City were back this week for plenty of sniping, tears, and Pinot. As Luann plans to take the ladies on a Moroccan vacation, Cindy buses the girls out to the Canyon Ranch Spa and Ramona ...

Well, Ramona continues to guzzle her own wine.

THG breaks it all down in our +/- recap below!

Luann decides to treat the ladies to a fabulous vacation… to Morocco. Where can I find a friend like Luann! Plus 10.

Jill and Cindy are in immediately. Plus 5. Ramona reacts negatively. Morocco's too exotic for her but on further thought says she'll make it work. Maybe she's afraid the country doesn't carry her Pinot. Minus 3.

Alex is in but laments that Simon doesn't like couscous. For having her relate everything back to Simon, Minus 2. Kelly agrees to think about it and after the fiasco that was last year's trip, I don't blame her for hesitating. She gets a Plus 1 for just considering it.

What's up with Luann's hoop earrings. I know these ladies like their jewelry large but my dog could jump through those. Plus 1.

Luann calls Ramona out on attacking Jill at the party last week. Plus 4. Ramona of course blames it all on Jill. Minus 3.

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How can you not love the Hamptons? It's so beautiful, so peaceful. 

That is until the housewives arrive, drink all the Pinot and steal the dip.

I used to think Kelly was the crazy one of the group but lately I've begun to realize that that title is up for grabs. Ramona scares me. I think it's the crazy eyes. She makes Kelly look sane. The fact that Ramona has no filter between her brain and her mouth is highly entertaining to watch but must be hell to live with.

I lost track of the number of people Ramona offended in this episode.

First she calls out Luann's mothering abilities at a party. Granted, I question the idea of leaving two teenagers virtually unattended for a couple of days.

Who is this "mother's helper" Luann speaks of? Luann's kids come across as intelligent and well behaved but even the best teenagers find trouble.

That being said, Ramona still had no business questioning Luann's parenting and certainly not in public.

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The Real Housewives of New York City were back again last night with speed dating, runway walks, and hair removal, and the results are simply ridiculous.

Ramona is asked to take another run at the catwalk. Given the fiasco her walk created last year I can only imagine that she's invited back as a publicity stunt.

It's hard to say which is funnier, Ramona's zombie eyed expression or the height difference between her and all of the other models.

One by one these tall, slender, professional models hit the runway and then there's Ramona and you have to look two feet lower.

As one of the ladies quipped, it's like Ramona is the mascot.

Alex gives modeling a go as well with a campy photo shoot. OK, I guess it's trying to be high fashion but the entire picture was absurd. I'm not sure what was worse, the hair teased to look like a brillo pad, the overly dramatic eye makeup, or Alex's strange expressions.

Then Alex shows up to Ramona's event wearing the get up she was photographed in.

I know she says she had to run straight from the photo shoot, but showing up with that hair took guts. The ladies comments range from asking if she wore a wig, wondering if she'd had an electrical shock, and thinking she was a koochi girl. 

I will say I enjoyed parts of Ramona's speech.

Her father refused to pay for her education because he thought it would be a waste of money since she'd just get married and have babies. Coming from that sort of environment to running her own businesses, Ramona is an inspiration.

Unfortunately, that only applies to business, not necessarily friendship.

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It's all about ME.

That's the theme as Sonja takes center stage. So, the Marriage Equality of New York (MENY) march asks Sonja to be the Grand Marshall? Is she really that big of a draw?

I mean I know I'm not their target audience but still, Sonja's a gay icon?

Oh, and in case you missed it, it's Sonja Morgan's special day. 

It's a scary, scary world when Kelly Bensimon is the voice of reason.

The ladies (and Simon) make fools of themselves. The wedding gowns look ridiculous as Luann's keeps popping open, Sonja wears a toga inspired number (perhaps this was her goddess impression) and Alex looks absurd as she bickers with everyone in her veil.

How could Sonja not let Simon speak? It's about gay marriage. Poor Simon wore his sequin rainbow tux. He took the jacket out of the closet. He'd like his opportunity now. "I like my men," says Simon. Yes, Simon. We never really questioned it.

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The Real Housewives of New York City are back and time away has done nothing to heal old wounds. Perhaps if these ladies retracted their claws, it might slow the bloodshed. But then again, what fun would that be?

Bethenny Frankel has jumped ship to start her own reality series but Jill Zarin is still smarting from the loss of the friendship.

In true Jill fashion, she lays all of the blame at Bethenny's door, stating that her former friend is just one of the those women who no longer has a need for her girlfriends as soon as she finds a husband.

Ah, Jill. Nice way to take your share of the responsibility for the breakup.

Jill's losing friends fast. Alex and Jill just can't stay away from one another and Ramona keeps fueling that fire. Seems that Jill's good friend is enjoying throwing arch nemesis Alex in her path every chance she gets. 

The new and improved Alex says her goal is to voice her opinions but it looks more like she's gunning for a fight. There's speaking your mind and then there's just being bitchy. I'm not sure Alex knows the difference yet.

Speaking of bitchy, Alex's little scene with Jill at the wedding certainly showed her spiteful side. Although Jill's explanation about being on an "honorary committee" sounded patently absurd.

Apparently it's a committee for people who care enough to lend their name but not quite enough to actually show up for the event.

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