When we meet Adriana DeMoura-Sidi on The Real Housewives of Miami, she's recently engaged to Fredric. She's also fiery and flirty and the...

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The Real Housewives of Miami take the stage for the final time this season in their "Reunion Part 2" and why won't someone use their black magic to make it all go away…or at least turn down the volume. We recap it all in our THG +/- review.

This was the reunion show that went from silly to sad to pathetic. Plus 20 because that's a lot of ground to cover in just an hour.

A Little Black Magic

It was almost comical how each housewife turned on one another…and not in a good way.  They all came across as a bunch of crazy, evil witches with few exceptions.

Minus 33 to Joanna Krupa for that smarmy smile she was wearing after her personal makeup artist tore Lisa Hochstein apart back stage. Really Joanna, we thought you were better than that. Apparently we were wrong.

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The Real Housewives of Miami reunion could have been a lot of fun. Instead it was nothing but a lot of expensive dresses on some very shady ladies.

We break it all down in our THG +/- review.

Unhappy Housewives

During the season finale it felt like The Real Housewives of Miami had found some stable ground. Lisa and Joanna had made up. J

oanna and Adriana were working on things and even though Lea told Adriana they'd never be friends again, at least she was calm when she said it.

But if the finale was calm, the reunion show was like a Miami hurricane blowing through.

Plus 15. It starts out friendly enough. Lea Black tells Andy that all of her diamonds are real while Adriana actually manages to show up on time for a change.

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The Real Housewives of Miami turned Joanna Krupa into "Mrs. Zago" this week... but it wasn't easy. We recap a wedding journey worthy of a hangover in THG's +/- review.

Joanna lamented being "stuck a rental car with these crazy bitches…" on a road trip from Las Vegas to San Diego. Maybe she should have thought about that before they decided to board that party bus. Minus 18.

Mr & Mrs. Zago

Could no one figure out how to set an alarm? The morning after was almost completely over by the time these party goers woke up…and missed their flight.

When panic set in it was Lea Black to the rescue. Plus 30. She rented an SUV and the ladies headed out on a high speed road trip.

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The Real Housewives of Miami play drop your top, but just with friends. Can we "Blame It on the Alcohol" or is it just a case of Miami girls gone wild?

We break down all the twerking and stripper poles in THG's +/- recap ...

Topless in Miami

It's Vegas baby and Lisa Hochstein's hosting Joanna Krupa's bachelorette party at The Palms. Plus 20. Get ready for some late nights, sun filled days, and topless fun.

Yup. the girls get topless because isn't that what you do with your friends?

Joanna decided to drop her top in the pool and then went around removing the bikini tops of her friends. Plus 15. Adriana certainly didn't seem to mind.

Alexia put hers back on…and did anyone notice that Lisa's never came off but she was far more drunk than anyone there?

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The Real Housewives of Miami have a serious "Bridesmaid Breakdown" as Lisa Hochstein got kicked out of the wedding party. We recap it all in our THG +/- review.

There's a difference between being the peacemaker and turning into meddling buttinsky and this week Lisa Hochstein drove right over that line in her hot little Ferrari. Minus 18.

Bridesmaid Debacle

And in Miami, when you stick your nose in the wrong place, you risk having to have your plastic surgeon hubby have to fix it for your later. LIsa was definitely treading on dangerous territory with Joanna Krupa but she just couldn't leave it alone.

As Lisa kept insisting everyone should get along simply because she said so, Joanna shot back, "If someone called you a f*cking hooker and tried to ruin your reputation I think you'd be upset."

Point to Joanna. Plus 25.

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The Real Housewives of Miami set out to visit Texas as "The Black Sheep" went home. We recap the bull riding and cult status in our THG +/- review.

An Adorable New Addition

While Alexia celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary, Adriana worked on letting her son grow up and Joanna Krupa welcomed an adorable new addition (Plus 15!) into her home, it was Lea Black who took center stage on this week's Housewives.

The moment we set foot in Texas I immediately wondered… why isn't there The Real Housewives of Texas? Minus 22.

Seems to me the ladies of Dallas could easily give The Real Housewives of Orange County, Miami, Beverly Hills, and Atlanta a run for their money.

With all the drama and ridiculous displays of wealth? What are you waiting for, Bravo?

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The Real Housewives of Miami viewers experienced a true "Brazilian Bridezilla" as Adriana planned the perfect wedding, and then almost destroyed it.

We break it all down in THG's +/- recap!

Bridezilla Moment

So how does the perfect wedding day start? With the groom giving the bride B12 vitamin shots in her butt. Minus 15. Can you feel the romance?

Next comes a discussion about pre-wedding waxing. No not the cars… Adriana. She needs her eyebrows done and her private regions.

Frederick's looking for a "happy trail" but Adriana tells him she's got the "Amazon." He makes a face and says he wants the "Sahara" for their wedding night.

Minus 40. Seriously folks. Way too much information.

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The Real Housewives of Miami had "Birkin Buddies" and a Brazilian bridezilla to contend with but what's a wedding without tears, Botox and IV cocktails?

We begrudgingly recap it all in our weekly THG +/- RHOM review ...

But first off let's check out what's on Joanna Krupa's to-do list…

Joanna Krupa's Calendar

Sex, sex, and more sex. Yeah, this girl's got only one thing on her mind. Unfortunately her fiance doesn't have that much of a one track mind. Minus 15.

In Romain's défense, he's already tried to explain to Joanna that he'd like more romance in their lives…so she went for dominatrix role play.

Minus 22. If that's her definition of romance these two really do need therapy.

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Finally, Joanna gets some lovin' and "Mama Elsa Comes Home" on The Real Housewives of Miami. We break down the dominatrix role play and the lamest bachelorette party ever in THG's +/- recap!

Is this what Joanna Krupa considers romance?  Minus 10.

Feeling the Romance

Although I'm sure it's fine…or more than fine with most men, I don't think this is quite what Romain had in mind when he hoped for a romantic night out.

Perhaps role play just isn't the thing for these two…or maybe they need to agree on the script ahead of time.

Either way, Romain looked absolutely adorable in those glasses so Plus 25 because I love a handsome man in glasses.

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Half of the The Real Housewives of Miami are off to "La la Land" this week, while the other half stay to deal with the crazy people of Miami.

The funny part is, they don't realize that they are the crazy people of Miami. But in any case, we break it all down in THG's +/- recap.

Let's start with the LA contingent…

Housewives in LaLa Land

Lea Black and Lisa Hochstein head to L.A. with Joanna Krupa to help plan her wedding.

Why Los Angeles? Because Joanna's favorite house is there. Oh, did we forget to mention, she's got five homes scattered around the globe. Plus 15.

Modeling certainly pays the bills…and then some.

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Adriana DeMoura-Sidi Biography

Bridezilla Alert When we meet Adriana DeMoura-Sidi on The Real Housewives of Miami, she's recently engaged to Fredric. She's also fiery and flirty and the... More »
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Adriana DeMoura-Sidi
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