Hang on to your Zac Efron — the Disney Channel is ramping up for a fourth cycle of High School Musical. The second edition, which aired last summer, racked up 18.6 million viewers. The third edition hasn’t even been released yet, but when it is, it’ll first be seen at the multiplex, not your living room. But now that the original cast of the lucrative show is busy with other projects, like sending naked photos of themselves and fighting off gay rumors, don’t expect the original cast to return. “At least one approach that’s been floated for a High School Musical 4 would simply be to go with a largely new cast and employ a plot that takes place in an early year in high school, opening the possibility for more sequels with new stars” and more forever pre-pubescent leads!
??? We asked a lesbian alien, and seeing Christina Ricci and Reese Witherspoon together really is her fantasy.
??? Jessica Alba may be having twins! Sorry, we don’t just hand out double exclamation points.
??? We give up on trying to understand the image Perez Hilton is going for.
??? Too bad Zac Efron’s handlers can’t use his sexuality to deny the rumors of a sex tape with him and “GF” Vanessa Hudgens.
??? Dennis Quaid has aged remarkably well, but we still doubt he’s rocking his natural hair color.
??? Celebrities have butts: An investigation.
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Not only is teen queen Vanessa Hudgens is back on board for the sequel to Disney’s mega hit, High School Musical 2,” (a yet-to-shoot flick cleverly entitled High School Musical 3) but she’s reportedly back with a “substantial” pay raise!
Apparently, instead of the child star’s offscreen antics (Read: Highly circulated topless photos) tarnishing her image, they only seemed to increase her appeal, particularly among the “bored older brothers who were forced to sit through the hokey Disney sensation by their bratty your sibling” demographic.
Frankly, we’re just glad this story has a happy ending. And relieved to see that Nessy’s “assets” are finally getting the appreciation (and monetary compensation) that they deserve.
• Michael Jackson looking almost…presentable.
• Rumor has it there were massive layoffs at Seventeen magazine’s production department. Unfortunately, staffers were too busy discussing last night’s Gossip Girl to confirm/deny.
• Tired of living in a bubble where Out, The Advocate and HX don’t exist, Neal Boulton takes it upon himself to create the first-ever magazine written exclusively for gays.
• It’s all relative, but at least magazines are doing all right. Well, sort of.
• Fact: More than three times as many black people live in jail than in college dorms. Also a fact: the aforementioned “fact” doesn’t take into account college students who live off campus. Or commute to school. Or, well, anything.
• Vanessa Hudgens makes her first post-scandal appearance; everyone tries their best not to blatantly stare at her crotch.
• You’ve tried the search, now try the smell. Introducing Google: For men.
• In an amazing pre-taped appearance on The Tyra Banks Show, a pre-scandal Vanessa Hudgens lectures Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan on tabloid avoidance, explaining “It???s easy to stay out of those situations. You just have to smart about your decisions.” Well, obviously!
• Meanwhile, OK! magazine continues to rain on Vanny’s parade by informing us that she and Zac Efron are no longer fake-dating.
• Watch out! According to this sign, there are “children playing while adults have lawnmower sex,” just ahead.
• Here it is! The first picture from the set of the superfluous Sex and the City movie, shown from a respectable distance so as to avoid an unnecessary close-up of Sarah Jessica Parker’s giant chin pimple.
• Jessica Alba makes bad movies, good wardrobe decisions.
• Fred Goldman continues to chase the black murderer of his son his white whale.
• O.J. Simpson to face one of his greatest all-time fears, namely being tried and convicted of a crime—and sentenced to prison for up to 35 years.
• The Onion’s “Israelites Sue God For Breach Of Covenant” is supposed to be funny, but surprisingly, it turns out they’re right on the money.
• Meanwhile, devout followers testify in polygamist Warren Jeffs’ defense. His wives unanimously rally around him, except #7, who’s “on the fence.”
• Did Rihanna get plastic surgery? Well, the rumors certainly are rife. And something about those funbags says she ditched the umbrella and went under the knife.
• Vanessa Hudgens divulges a “secret” crush on Matt Damon and brags about her throngs of adoring fans while simultaneously refusing to answer questions about those racy pictures of her cans.
We already knew Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice could bounce a quarter of her ass. But what we didn’t know was that she owns a home with her very closest gal pal Randy Bean. This is probably the hottest, most conclusive proof of lesbian action we’ve seen today. At least since those tawdry Vanessa Hudgens pictures.
• Mariah Carey’s career called. It wants some semblance of life back.
• Everyone’s in such an uproar over Da Silvano’s rodent problem these days it’s as though they’ve lost track of what really matters: the food sucks, and it’s horribly overpriced.
• Since when did Ryan Gosling start dressing like someone we used to beat up in high school?
• If you think Vanessa Hudgen’s naked photo was hot, just wait ’till you see her holiday wish-list.
• In keeping with the tradition that only “ugly” people win Oscars, we’ve got a prediction for this year’s Academy Awards: Joaquin Phoenix, all the way.
• Kanye West confesses his biggest fear (”I???m like, ???I hope this person isn???t looking at me like I???m a faggot.’”) Don’t worry, Kanye. We were looking at you like you’re a homophobe.
• Note to Lauryn Hill: It’s probably time for a personal stylist/psychiatrist when your makeup, wardrobe and general demeanor can best be described as “crazy homelessperson chic.”
• Shia LaBoeuf: The next James Bond? Or just some geeky teen who will eventually die of lung cancer?
• Steven Tyler allows Fergie to ruin collaborate on a duet of “Walk This Way.”
• This naked picture of Vanessa Hudgens just made High School Musical 2 a whole lot more interesting for the dads.
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Zac Efron Dating Liza Minelli.
Well, it???s just as likely as Zac Ephron dating Vanessa Hudgens.