[on Stephanie hanging out with Lauren Conrad]
Spencer Pratt: Don't you have any sense of family loyalty?
Stephanie Pratt: I can't believe how hypocritical you are - you who became best friends with my ex-boyfriend in high school even though I hated him!
Spencer Pratt: [looooooong pause] He wasn't your boyfriend, I hate to break it to you. He was your semi-formal date. You can call it what you want.

[Spencer bails on Brody's BBQ]
Brody Jenner: Just stop flaking out. I mean if you're going to make plans with me then just stick with it.
Spencer Pratt: You're a lot like LC over here.
Brody Jenner: I understand that you're in love. But it just sucks when you just flake out on your homies like this all the time.

Heidi Montag: Honey, I'm home.
Spencer Pratt: Oh, my favorite part of the day!

I would never watch that! I would rather throw up... but I know for a fact, and I would take a lie detector test.

regarding a Lauren Conrad sex tape
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